Blind Spot (24 page)

“I’ve been reassigned,” Kenneth said, and Suki could hear the care with which he was choosing his words. “It happens all the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting this go.” He lowered his voice. “I’m still with you, although it’ll have to be unofficially.”

“Kenneth, I really—”

“I can’t talk now,” he interrupted. “But I’ll try and call you from home tonight. It’s important you understand Charlie’s going hard on this. He said the fact that they haven’t found the gun isn’t going to hold him back, that the only thing keeping him from typing up the warrant is lack of clear motive—but that he’s willing to use the jilted lover angle if he has to.”

“But that was over six months—”

“Listen to me,” Kenneth hissed. “He’s at the high school right now. Trying to find a kid who’ll give him a reason why Alexa might have wanted to kill Jonah now. If he comes up with someone, even just one girl with a grudge because Alexa’s prettier than she is, it’s all over.”

“
Everyone knows Alexa did it
,” Parker Alley’s taunting voice reverberated through Suki’s head, through her body. “
Everyone knows why
.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

S
uki was fortunate in being surrounded by love all her life. As a child, she was adored by her parents, and in return, she loved her mother more than life itself and thought her father the most perfect man in the world; she still did. With Stan, she shared a passion she wouldn’t have thought possible, and she had loved, and continued to love, grandparents and cousins and dear friends. But when Alexa, still slippery from birth, was placed on her abdomen and the baby had opened her wide blue eyes and wisely studied the labor room, Suki was pierced by love as she had never felt it before: the love of a mother for her child. The strongest, most powerful, most unconditional love there is. A love that is a given no matter what else may occur. A love that can coexist with any other state—even hate.

For Suki hated Alexa at this moment, as she drove from her office to the rec center, as she planned what she would say to Parker Alley, as she tried to figure out what she could possibly do to save the child she so desperately loved. Neither emotion was negated nor reduced by the reality of the other.

As she followed River Road toward Witton Center, Suki averted her eyes from the spot where Jonah had been shot. But she didn’t turn away quickly enough. She saw a single bouquet of flowers resting in front of an unremarkable cluster of maple saplings.

“Damn her!” Suki yelled into the empty car. “Damn her! Damn her!” How could Alexa have done this to herself? To them all? How could she have been so stupid, so careless? Suki started to slam the dashboard, but thought better of it. She didn’t have the luxury of anger. She had to concentrate. Focus. Think.

According to Parker Alley, everyone knew Alexa had killed Jonah, and everyone knew why. Suki could care less if the entire student body of Witton High believed Alexa was a murderer—she knew that wasn’t true—but she
was
concerned about who thought they knew why. If Alexa’s pregnancy and abortion were common knowledge, Charlie Gasperini might find someone willing to tell him about it. And once Charlie got his hands on that information, Alexa was as good as arrested.

Suki touched the pager hooked over the waistband of her skirt. It was set to vibrate when receiving an incoming call, and it hadn’t moved all afternoon. If Charlie had typed up the warrant, Kenneth would have surely phoned. That meant Charlie hadn’t discovered anything—or that Kenneth hadn’t been allowed to call. Kenneth. She had the feeling she was going to miss him more than she knew. Damn that Charlie Gasperini. Damn him and his slimy cronies. Again, she caught herself. Focus. Think.

Varsity soccer practiced Monday, Thursday and Friday afternoons. Parker was on the team, as was Brendan, and although Parker wasn’t first-string, he played well enough to allow Becky to brag about him—her favorite pastime. Suki drove through town and turned up the hill to the rec center. She checked her watch and then pressed her foot to the accelerator. She needed to catch Parker before practice started. And when she did, he was going to explain exactly what he had meant by “everyone knows why.”

She stationed herself outside the boys’ locker room and waited as the pride of Witton’s soccer moms changed into shorts and ran through the open gym door to the field. Warren was nowhere in sight, but he had his team trained well; with a minimum of horsing around, the boys started their warm-up calisthenics. No one took any notice of her; these kids were used to parents hanging around.

Parker was one of the last to leave the locker room. Suki grabbed his arm. “Hi,” she said.

He turned with a smile that Suki guessed meant he thought she was a particular girl. When he saw it was Suki, his smile disappeared. “Hi,” he said, allowing her to maintain her hold on his arm. The confident, strutting Parker of the other night was gone, replaced by the tentative boy Suki remembered, the one who had cried in terror as he stood at the top of their backyard slide, the one who was afraid of clowns.

“I need to talk to you.” Suki’s voice was cool and crisp. She recognized an opportunity when she saw one. “Now.”

Parker looked around, as if for help, then nodded.

She let go of his arm and leaned against the doorjamb.

He looked down at his feet and played with the ripped piping on the right leg of his shorts. “Sorry about the other night,” he mumbled.

“I was very surprised, Parker,” Suki said as if he were still that scared child perched atop Alexa’s slide. “I wouldn’t have expected that kind of behavior from you.”

Parker shrugged, and Suki saw that despite his six feet and the stubble on his chin, in many ways, he still
was
that child. He tugged so hard at his shorts that the piping ripped off in his hand. He shoved it into his pocket. “If you want, I’ll apologize to Alexa.” He looked longingly out the gym door at his friends on the field.

“I think that would be a good idea, a nice gesture, but there’s still something I need to know. I need to know what you meant by claiming everyone knows why Alexa killed Jonah—when you and I both know she didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Jacobs. Really I am.” He raised his eyes and Suki saw he was scared—and ashamed. “I don’t know why I did it. Really I don’t. I guess I was just showing off.”

Suki believed him, and felt sorry for him, but she was not here to exonerate him. “What did you mean when you said ‘everyone knows why’? Why did you say that?”

“Nothing.” Parker clenched his jaw. “I didn’t mean anything special.”

Suki narrowed her eyes and scrutinized the boy closely. He knew something, but he wasn’t talking. No one liked a snitch. This could be good.

“I told Chief Gasperini the same thing,” Parker added.

Suki’s heart began to pound and the questions poured out. “Chief Gasperini knows what you said the other night? He was asking you what you meant? When? Was he at school? Today?”

“He was at school,” Parker said. “But no, I mean yes. Yes.”

“Well, which is it?” Suki demanded. “Yes or no?”

“Well, uh …” Parker swallowed hard. “No about what I said, but yes that he was asking questions.”

“And what exactly was he asking about?”

“Just if I knew why anyone would want to kill Jonah.”

“Anyone?” Suki was astounded by the hope rising within her. “Not just Alexa?”

Parker shrugged again. “Mostly Alexa, I guess.”

Suki’s hope died as quickly as it had emerged, and she was chagrined by her naïveté.

“Hello, Mrs. Jacobs.”

Suki whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice, unable to believe she was hearing correctly. Brendan Ricker stood before her. He too looked scared and ashamed, but more in control than Parker.

“I gotta go,” Parker mumbled. He didn’t move, and Suki could almost feel his muscles straining toward the open door. “Coach likes us to be finished with warm-ups by the time he shows up.”

She nodded, knowing she wasn’t going to get any more out of him, and he fled. She turned to Brendan.

Brendan flushed, but met her eye. “No one knows about the pregnancy,” he said softly. “Not even Kendra.”

Suki blinked.

“I heard what you were asking Parker.”

“So what did he mean when he said everyone knew why?”

Brendan inspected his soccer shoes and cleared his throat. “I’m not sure.”

“Don’t give me that.” Suki had been a psychologist long enough to recognize a lie. “You know exactly what he was talking about—and you’re going to tell me.”

Brendan shook his head.

Suki wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. She clenched her hands into fists. “You’re going to tell me exactly what Parker was talking about, Brendan Ricker. You’re going to tell me because you owe me. Because you owe Alexa—you owe her big for throwing her to the wolves just to save your lying skin.”

For a moment Suki thought she had gone too far, then Brendan mumbled, “He was talking about the drugs.”

Suki was glad she was leaning against something. She flashed on the image of rolling papers and drug paraphernalia stuffed into the back of the locker at the boathouse. She had forgotten, actually forgotten, what she had seen there. Just when things got as bad as she thought they could get, they got worse. “Drugs?”

“It started out just as something to help us study. Just a couple of us did it once in a while—to help on tests and stuff. Get through the heavy reading.”

“Get through the heavy reading,” Suki repeated, as if saying the words would increase her comprehension.

“But we didn’t get it from a drug pusher or any thing like that. It was all clean—from an adult who knew what he was doing. It was never supposed to get to the point that it did,” Brendan’s words flowed out in a rush. “Then other kids started finding out—I don’t know how, but they did—and they wanted some and, and well, you know how that can be.…”

“Some adult gives you drugs?” Suki asked. “Who?”

“I don’t know.” Brendan looked down at his feet.

“Does Alexa know?”

Brendan shook his head. “No one knows,” he said.

“Aren’t you supposed to be doing warm-ups, Ricker?” Warren came striding down the corridor toward them. “Hi, Suki,” he said. “Are you two finished? Can I send him out?” When she nodded, he turned back to Brendan. “Get to the field. You’re late.”

Brendan got to the field.

Suki stared at Warren as she tried to integrate what Brendan had said. No one knew anything about the pregnancy, but they knew about the drugs. Alexa and drugs … Jonah and drugs … Clean drugs they got from some adult …

“Are you all right? Suki?” Warren was asking. His voice sounded as if it were coming from far away. “Do you want to sit down in Finlay’s place? How about some water?”

“Finlay’s place,” she repeated stupidly. Although there was a new custodian, Suki had lived in Witton long enough to recognize that the room would always be referred to as Finlay’s place. “Sure, sure.”

Warren took her arm and gently led her into the tiny room. He pulled a bundle of lacrosse sticks off the chair and motioned for her to sit. Suki sat. It didn’t make any sense. Alexa didn’t do drugs. Sweat prickled under Suki’s arms as she realized she had no idea what Alexa did and didn’t do.

Warren disappeared and then reappeared with a paper cup in his hand. “Drink.”

Suki took the cup. The water was cold and wet and a piece of her felt better for it, while most of her wasn’t even aware she was drinking. She suddenly realized she hadn’t spoken to Warren since the night of the play. “I’ve, ah, I’ve been meaning to call you,” she stuttered. “To thank you for your help the other night. At the high school …”

He waved away her gratitude. “What just happened?” he asked. “Did Brendan do something to upset you?”

“I … He …” Suki threw her hands in the air. If Alexa was indeed mixed up with drugs, “upset” was an understatement. “Yeah,” she said. “I guess he did.”

Warren sat on the edge of a stack of cardboard cartons. “Was it about Jonah?” he asked. “Something I should know?”

Suki shook her head. “I’ve got to think. Let me think. Talk to Alexa. I’ve got to talk to Alexa.” She knew she was barely coherent, that she needed to be alone. “Go to your practice, Warren. To your team. I’ll be fine. Really I will.”

“Suki,” Warren said, “please let me help you. Tell me what’s going on.”

She forced herself to stand and smile. “I’m all right,” she said. “Really I am. I’ll call you in a couple of days. I promise I will.”

Warren looked at her dubiously. “Okay,” he said, “if that’s how you want it. But you’ve got to remember that this isn’t just about Alexa—this is about Jonah, too. That helping you is helping me. And helping Darcy.”

Suki touched his arm as she walked from the cramped room. “Thanks,” she said. “Again.”

“So Alexa’s okay?” Warren called after her. “Nothing broken?”

Suki whirled around. “Alexa’s fine. What are you talking about?”

“Matt just told me in the locker room that Alexa fell off a piece of apparatus in gym today. That Carla had to take her to the hospital for X rays.”

Suki stared at Warren in disbelief. “No one called me,” she cried as she yanked at the hem of her sweater so she could see the readout on the pager hooked to her skirt.

“If no one called, Matt must have gotten Alexa confused with some other kid,” Warren said. “Most likely he just got the story wrong.”

But Suki saw that most likely Matt had gotten the story right. Her pager was turned off.

Suki raced to her car phone and punched the speed dial button for home. Kyle answered. “Is Alexa there?” The words burst from Suki’s mouth before Kyle had finished saying hello. “Is she all right?”

“Where you been, Mom?” Kyle asked. “They’ve been trying to reach you all afternoon. Is—”

“What happened?” Suki interrupted. “Is Alexa hurt? Is she home?”

“She’s here. She’s all right,” he said quickly. “It was just a sprain. She’s got an Ace bandage. You want to talk to her?”

“Of course I want to talk to her, Kyle,” Suki said. “What do you think?” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she was sorry. None of this was Kyle’s fault. He was being great. She was the one who wasn’t thinking. “I’m sorry, honey, Kyle,” she said. “Sorry.”