Blind Love (14 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Blind-Sided

A smile tugged at the corners of Ben’s mouth as he pressed the remote control to open Lauren’s garage. Being able to roll into bed half an hour after clocking out from a twelve-hour night shift was a luxury. One he hadn’t experienced in months. His apartment in Colorado Springs was an hour drive to work, but ten minutes from Chloe and her mom. The perfect location for when he spent time with his daughter. But not the perfect location any other time, nor was it a home, just an empty space for him to sleep.

It wasn’t the only reason he was smiling. He got to see Cat. Not only see her, talk to her, and sometimes even touch her. It was like coming home to American soil after years of being in a foreign country. Things just felt right, familiar. Even the arguments they’d had in the past few days reminded him of their lives together. The only difference was there was no make-up sex. Damn. That was even more explosive than the fights. His smile turned to a full-fledged laugh. Sometimes he’d push her buttons so he could push her sexier ones afterward. God, those were good times.

After parking his car in her garage, his mind drifted to the dozen or so ugly flannel pajamas with feet she used to wear. They were her staple every winter and whenever she was sad. As much as he’d hated them, they made for an easier access to her naked assets underneath. Since their marriage fell apart, he found himself taking notice of them more in circulars and wondering if she had the same one.

Ben pressed the button on the remote to close the garage. His stomach twisted, but it was different than the usual burn. He was nervous and if he was honest, excited as hell about going in and seeing her. Things might never be the way they once were, but having her in his life in some way was better than not at all. At least that’s what he kept saying to himself.

Ben walked into the kitchen and heard her voice.

“Thank you for understanding, Sarah.”

His chest tightened. It was like someone had set a swarm of bats loose in his gut. He shook off the effect and worked on making himself a cup of coffee while he scanned the place.

Lauren sat on the sofa, her laptop in her lap, a Bluetooth in her ear, and her ponytail bobbed as she nodded. “Yes, next week same time would work for me as well. I’m sorry again about the last-minute change.”

He leaned against the counter as the machine brewed and looked out the large windows on this side of the house. The cowboy, his kid, and Jack played catch in the backyard. As much as he didn’t trust the guy, Lauren had a point. Jack would have bitten the man’s head off by now if he sensed anything dangerous. But it didn’t mean Ben had to like him. Regardless, he was a suspect in a murder investigation and she needed to start closing the damn blinds.

“Good morning, Officer Dawson,” Lauren said, her back still to him.

He grinned. It always blew his mind how she sensed him. Ben headed over to the window and started closing the blinds. The cowboy looked over at him. They continued their staring match until the wooden shutters blocked their view.

“How was work last night?”

Cup in hand, he walked over to the sofa. “Long, but not too bad.” He froze in his tracks when the abrasions on her cheek and forehead came into view. The smile he carried dropped and his protective instincts spiked. Ben scanned the length of her. Thanks to her sleeveless shirt, the fresh scabs covering the back of her arm were clearly visible. Similar marks covered the part of her knee poking out from the base of her skirt and more were scattered down her calf. His eyes narrowed when he got to her ankle. The area was purple tinged with blue and the size of a grapefruit.

He clenched and unclenched his fist and cracked his neck a couple of times. Interrogating her would only get his ass thrown out. Ben sat on the other side of her to see if he’d find more of the same and was relieved he didn’t.

“So, how was your evening?” he asked, forcing as pleasant a tone as possible.

She pulled out her ear buds and smiled. “No questions? Look at that. Our Ben’s growing up.”

He chuckled. “Will you tell me why you look like someone dragged you across a concrete road? Or am I going to have to keep making small talk first?”

She scrunched her face. “That bad?”

“It’s a sight,” he said dryly.

She closed her computer and shook her head. “I put some medicine on, hoping it’ll get better by the morning.”

“Probably has, which means it was really bad last night.”

Lauren laughed, “You’re doing a good job. You haven’t even asked one of your normal two hundred questions.”

“It’s hard. Trust me, it’s really, really, hard.”

She shook her head and packed away her laptop into the bag on the floor by the sofa. “I went jogging, saw a skunk and fell. Speaking of which, you guys should probably keep an eye out in the woods. I think teenagers are smoking pot back there.”

Lauren grabbed the coffee Ben put on the table and took a sip. “Yum, espresso.”

He had a lot more questions to ask about her incident but decided against it. “I take it you were rescheduling your appointment so you can get to a doctor and have your ankle looked at?”

“Smart man. I have one in an hour.”

“Need a ride?”

She got up from the sofa with the cup and limped to the kitchen. “No, my parents will be here in ten minutes. Coffee’s not a good idea when you’re about to go to sleep, by the way.”

Red flags waved in his head. “Your parents? Where’s Sunny?”

“At home packing. She’s flying out later today for a writers’ conference.”

Something didn’t make sense. Telling her parents about her fall would only give them more reasons to take control. She’d walk her scratched-up self to the doctor’s office before ever considering them an option. “What’s wrong?”

She turned her back to him and searched through drawers. “Nothing.”

There was only one reason she’d ever call her parents. Ben rose and followed her into the kitchen. He grabbed her hand. “You’re lying.”

Lauren kept her focus on the floor. Her eyes glistened and she blinked them back. With each second she was silent, the acid in his stomach burned a degree hotter.

“It’s happening,” she whispered.

Every muscle in his body tightened. “How bad is it?”

Lauren shrugged. “I woke up this morning and thought I was looking through a telescope. The edges are black but everything in the center is the same as always.”

“Both eyes?”

“No, the right one for now. But eventually the other eye will follow and by the end, everything will be black,” her voice cracked.

Ben would have done anything in his power to make this better for her and the fact he couldn’t fix it was killing him. He pulled her into his arms. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve already beaten the odds this long.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, the way she used to do. “True, or it might all be gone by the end of the day. It’s only a matter of time, right?”

“This doesn’t change anything in your life.”

When she pulled away, Ben didn’t stop her. Lauren slid herself onto the top of the island and clasped her hands together in her lap. He put his palms on the counter as his mind raced. She was shutting down. Somehow, he needed to help her see she wasn’t alone.

“That’s not true. Everything will change. My world is turning black. I had this crazy hope I’d prove the doctors wrong. Waking up today’s been a reality check that I won’t.”

Ben squeezed her hand. “You’re the strongest woman I know. If anyone can survive this, it’s you.”

She smiled a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “And that’s the thing. I’m tired of surviving everything. Why do I always have to be strong?”

A tear streaked down Lauren’s face. Ben wiped the moisture away and trailed the back of his hand up and down her cheek as she spoke. “Losing my vision, our divorce, each time, I got up and handled it. I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Guilt shot through him. He swallowed it and tried to stay focused on her words.

“Do you know what it’s like to walk around knowing you’re broken? Trying to hide it so no one realizes? How much of my life have I wasted doing that?”

Ben’s throat tightened at her description. “There’s nothing broken about you. You’re unbendable. Nothing has ever taken you down.”

Lauren dropped her head and played with her fingers. She was tuning him out. A gnawing sense of fear that maybe she was giving up started to grow in him. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

She shook her head. “Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do. My parents will be here soon. We’ll see what the retina specialist has to say and go from there.”

There was something she wasn’t telling him, he could feel it. “You’re running away again, aren’t you?”

Her silence told him everything he needed to know. “In high school, when your first eye got blurry, you started skipping class and doing crazy things.”

Lauren grinned and nudged him. “Like taking away your virginity?”

He chuckled. “You stripped me naked and fondled me. I think they call that sexual assault.”

“Hey, you said you wanted me to see what a real man looked like, and I don’t remember you complaining.”

Ben cupped Lauren’s chin and tipped her head up. “I don’t regret any of it. Now, tell me what you’re planning.”

“I’m thinking about going with them to their summer house in Hawaii. Getting away from everything and figuring stuff out.”

He stared at her for a moment, trying to read between the lines. “For how long and when?”

She bit her lip. “I haven’t decided.”

Anger brewed in him. Ben tried to rein it in. “No matter how beautiful of a place it is, they’ll drive you crazy. You can’t run away from this.”

“I’m not,” Lauren snapped. “When my eye got blurry, what did I do? I watched a lot of movies. Figured out what tattoo I’d get when I was old enough to get one. Saw as much as possible before the left eye blurred out too. It’s the same thing,” she said. “I want to experience as much as I can before everything goes black and as far as my parents are concerned, I need to accept I need them.”

“I don’t like this plan,” he said.

“First, I wasn’t looking for your permission. Second, it’s time I accept my limitations. I’ve walked around in denial way too long.” She waved her injured arm around. “Denial is why I’m scratched up. Blindness is who I am and I can’t do it all by myself.”

Her words sucked the air out of him. She didn’t need to do it alone. Ever. Not if he had anything to say about it. Ben leaned forward and did the only thing he could think of to let her know what she meant to him. He kissed her.

His body temperature spiked from the contact. How often had he fantasized about doing this? Every time she made a wise-ass comment or crossed her arms, his mouth had watered. None of it compared to the actual act. He kept a hand on her chin and deepened the kiss, hoping she’d let him in. When she didn’t, he pulled away and placed a soft peck on her mouth.

“You have people right here willing to take care of you. You don’t need your parents,” he whispered.

Lauren’s eyes were closed. “It’s not your job anymore.”

Ben wiped away her tear. “I think I’ve made it clear I want it to be my job again.”

She turned her head and let out a breath. “Ben, you need to let the past go.”

Before he could respond, loud growls and barking from the backyard shut him up. They both listened as Jack got louder and louder.

Instinctively, Ben’s hand went to his holster.

“He doesn’t bark like this unless there’s a reason. The last time he did, a rattlesnake was in the yard,” Lauren said.

He started to walk to the door but stopped and looked over at her. “If I ask you to stay inside and let me handle it…”

“I’ll ignore you and go anyway.”

Ben shook his head and put an arm around her waist, helping her from the island.

When they made it outside, he found the cowboy, his kid and the grandmother standing by their door watching Jack. The dog faced the farthest part of the fence. He was crouched and sounding like an animal in attack mode. Ben left Lauren by her entrance and walked over to the German shepherd.

“Hey buddy. What’s going on?”

Jack barked at the spot on the fence and ran to the gate, looking back at Ben.

He opened the entrance and followed the dog out. To his annoyance, Gabe trailed close behind. The three exited the fenced area, and sprinted into the narrow path between the houses and the woods. Jack ran off with them on his tail.

The leaves from large elm and walnut trees shaded the area. The shepherd jumped around thick brush and over low-lying branches as he ran.

“Do you smell that?” Gabe asked a few minutes in.

Ben took a deep breath and nodded. Lauren’s comment about teenagers smoking weed in the area came back to him. It was exactly what he smelled.

Jack stopped at an elm tree and sniffed around its thick trunk. Ben looked back toward the house. A wave of unease encased him. The spot gave a clear view into Lauren and Gabe’s backyard. With a good set of binoculars and with how she left her blinds open and lights on all day, someone could easily see into her home.

Both the men scanned the grounds for footprints, snakes, any clue of what got the dog riled up but found nothing, just a lingering smell.

Damn teenagers.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Tunnel Vision

Lauren sat silent in the back of her parents’ Mercedes while they chattered about the upcoming vacation. A blanket of sadness had wrapped itself around her the moment she woke up this morning. Considering the reason behind it, this heaviness would take a long time to shake off.

Her condition was deteriorating and nothing scared her more than the idea of being alone in a world of darkness. Soon the cones in the left retina would stop working like the right. Everything would be seen through a blurred tunnel. One day, those two tunnels would permanently seal shut. It was inevitable. She had hoped it would be when she was ninety-nine, not twenty-nine.

Her thoughts drifted to Ben and this morning. He was right, she was running, but it was the safest thing for everyone involved. Lauren knew herself too well. She was in a vulnerable place and probably would be for a while. The last thing she needed was to make bad decisions and create even more chaos for herself and those around her in the process.

When he kissed her, there was no heat. It was just skin touching skin. She realized, as their mouths connected, she didn’t love him anymore. But his promise to always be there and take care of her stirred something deep within. It gave her the guarantee she’d never be alone.

A little voice inside her head urged her to move forward with him. To let him in. At least someone would be by her side when the darkness arrived.

“Love will come later,” the voice promised.

One failed marriage later, she couldn’t afford to make the same bad choices again. This morning, she tuned it out and tried to do the right thing. Leading him on would have been wrong. He was a good man who deserved to be with someone who loved him and all he had to offer. As much as she wished it was her, she knew the door had shut.

Unlike the one with Ben, her kiss last night with Gabe was passionate. She wanted him, all of him. Lauren blinked those thoughts away. By the end of summer, he and Evan would go back to Houston. He was a temporary fling. Nothing more. A couple of months in Hawaii would be enough time to get some needed distance and build herself back up.

Lauren’s father exited the highway and turned onto the boulevard leading to her house. The three of them had survived two doctors’ appointments, lunch and six entire hours together with minimal tension and no discussions about her fall or her “disability”. Things were good. Too good. The whole thing reeked of a Baxter ambush.

When he cleared his throat, Lauren braced herself. James Baxter, corporate lawyer extraordinaire, was the official speaker of the Baxter tag team. The other player on the team, her mom, was diabolical. She filled his head with her thoughts, bent him to her will, and made sure he calmly and diplomatically forced that will upon Lauren.

“I don’t like this part of town. It’s not a safe place for you to live.”

On a positive note, Lauren reminded herself, he at least omitted his favorite part: the “because you’re blind and handicapped” portion.

“If you were living at home, you wouldn’t have hurt your leg and scarred your face. I keep thinking how you could have died out there and we wouldn’t have known it.”

Her mother sniffled at his words.

Lauren kept her tone cool when she responded. “I do live at home. Mine. And I’m obviously alive. Most parents hope for their adult children to become independent and do the things I’m doing.”

“It’s not that we’re not proud of you. We are, but we worry about you,” he said. “Whether you accept it or not, you have a handicap and living alone isn’t easy for someone with your condition.” He paused, as if trying to figure out how to word the rest.

Staying calm was becoming progressively harder. Lauren bit her cheek and waited for the point of this particular speech.

“There’s a house in our neighborhood on the market.”

She bit harder into the soft skin of her mouth and drew blood. The point was finally reached.

The mastermind jumped into the conversation. “It’s the Morris’ home.”

“You mean the Morrises who live next door to you?” It was becoming hard for Lauren not to laugh. After years of trying to keep a distance, did they really think she’d agree to this?

Her mother appeared oblivious to Lauren’s annoyance and continued her pitch. “It’s perfect for you: four bedrooms, four baths, gated community and a jogging trail nearby where I can come with you. You could keep your independence and we’d feel a lot safer if you were there.”

They were getting way too excited about the idea. She needed to shut it down immediately. “I can’t afford their house.”

“But we can,” her dad shot back. “You pay us whatever your current mortgage is.”

“Wait, you already bought the house?”

“Of course not.” Her mother hesitated. “The closing’s tomorrow afternoon.”

Lauren rested her head against the seat and counted backward from ten to one several times before speaking. “Tomorrow you’re buying me a house without discussing it first?”

“Isn’t that what we’re doing right now? And it’s more of an investment,” her father said. “If you don’t want to do it now, we’ll rent it out until you’re ready.”

She laughed. “Good plan. Go ahead and lease it, because I’m not moving in.”

The tension in the car grew exponentially.

“You’re not married, you’re a woman, you’re blind and you go jogging by yourself. This whole lifestyle of yours is dangerous. I hoped after yesterday you would have realized as much. Dog or no dog, it’s not safe. Your mom sits by the phone every night until you call to make sure you made it home safe. Every night.” Even though he spoke calmly, each word was chosen to hurt. And they did, but Lauren would never let him know how successful he had been.

“No matter what you say or think, it will never happen,” she said.

“This is all Ben’s fault,” her mother said as the car pulled into her driveway.

Lauren rolled her eyes. She considered telling them the supposed root of all her troubles was currently asleep upstairs in her house. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. If they thought a single woman living alone was dangerous, her current housemate would probably put them over the edge. In the end, she decided it would do more harm than good, and kept her mouth shut.

“He planted crazy ideas in your head.”

She grinned at her mom’s description of Ben. “Absolutely, he did. Dangerous ones at that. Like going to college, getting a career, becoming an adult. Obviously my handicap makes it hard for me to come up with those thoughts on my own.”

“You’re twisting our words again. What your mom is trying to say is in your life there have been two constants: us. Your mother and I are the only people who have stuck around, even when you’ve made it clear you didn’t want us. At some point, you’re going to have to wake up and see it. Even today, you called and we rearranged our lives to be here for you.”

“Everybody else will come and go, Lauren,” her mom whispered. “Don’t forget who’ll still be around when it’s hard to be.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. None of what they said was new, but today her own fears had left a gaping wound in her chest. Their words sliced into the tender part of her. Lauren’s bitterness bubbled up.

“Family is the reason I’m in this situation, isn’t it? If we’re blaming people, you might as well point your finger at Granddad.”

“My father was a good man,” her mother said.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t, but he was also a blind man with RP who decided to have children and pass on the gene. It was an irresponsible thing for him to do.”

The car fell silent. Lauren could almost hear the wheels in their heads turning. She had said too much and, in the process, ripped open another painful subject she swore she’d never discuss.

Her father cleared his throat. “You don’t want to have children?”

“No.” Her eyes burned but she pushed the emotion away and continued. “I would never allow anyone to go through this. That should be a relief to you. Obviously, I can’t take care of myself and am unlovable because of my
condition
, so how could I possibly handle another life?”

“You’re missing the point. Once you find the right man. Someone who can take care of you, the way you deserve…”

Lauren interrupted her mother. “We probably shouldn’t have this conversation right now. My leg hurts and I need to go in and take a pain pill.”

Her father opened the door and helped her out. “The truth doesn’t always feel good, Lauren. But it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be spoken.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. She decided not to argue the whole truth concept and hugged him back.

Somewhere in the distance she heard Evan’s laugh, which meant Gabe was near as well. The thought of both of them relaxed her muscles. The little guy was healing, and when he was ready he’d share whatever secrets he had. They would be okay without her, everyone would. She just needed to disappear and give them all a chance to do it.

“I bought you something.” Her mother slid a smooth cold bracelet onto her wrist. “It’s gold with delicate lilies engraved on it. When I saw it, I thought it was perfect for you.”

Lauren traced the outlines of the flowers. “What’s the catch?”

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s my way of saying thank you for coming to Maui with us.”

“I didn’t say yes until this morning.”

Her mother laughed. “I figured you’d give me an excuse to give it to you at some point.”

Lauren considered telling her she didn’t trust her but she had already said no to the house, called the woman’s father irresponsible for spreading his seed, and told them she wasn’t going to give them grandbabies. She leaned over and gave the woman a kiss. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”

Gabe stood in his driveway, his chest filling with pride as he watched Evan pedal his new Transformers bike toward home. A few yards down the street, the little guy grinned from ear to ear on his two-wheeler. The jumpy kid with the blue hockey pucks for eyes had disappeared. This one had on a bright yellow helmet with matching shin and elbow guards. He was currently biting his lip and pumping his short legs uphill.

The therapist had been right, getting Sprout away from Houston was the miracle cure. He still missed his mother and always would. Having lost his own father at twelve, Gabe understood. But the kid was healing. Something Gabe never imagined as possible. Now it was time to see if he’d talk about what happened to Autumn.

A black Mercedes pulled into Lauren’s drive as the bicycle rolled up theirs.

“Did you see me, Gabe?” He pulled off his Transformers helmet. “I got over the hill on my own.”

“Sure did, Sprout. You’ve got some strong legs.”

Evan talked excitedly as Gabe unbuckled his shin guard. “When I hit the brakes, it skidded. Did you see it too?”

“Sure did, I also saw how you kept going even though you were scared. That was the coolest part.”

Evan’s chest filled, just like Gabe’s had done minutes ago. “Can we go around the jogging trail next time?”

“Don’t see why not,” Gabe said as he looked across the lawn.

“Hey there, handsome. How’d it go?” Nana asked from inside the garage.

As Evan began his detailed account of events, Gabe fixed his gaze on the car’s occupants.

An older gentleman, tall and dark haired, got out of the sedan. Even though the stranger wore blue jeans and an untucked dress shirt, the man’s clothes probably cost more than all the things Gabe had currently stuffed in his duffle bag.

The visitor walked over to the rear passenger door, opened it, and held his palm out. Lauren took the hand and hobbled out. His lungs turned to ice as he watched her. He wanted to memorize everything so when he dreamed tonight, he’d have a new encounter to envision.

A picture of her leaning against the car popped in his head. He imagined yanking off the tight little shirt and pulling up her skirt. The thought sent heat shooting into his crotch. Now if only he knew what color her panties were. He grinned. Didn’t matter, maybe he’d go over later and investigate for himself.

A slight breeze blew through and he watched her skirt flutter. It was then he noticed the black boot strapped to her foot.

The man put an arm around her waist and pulled her into an embrace, Gabe’s eyes narrowed. When the asshole leaned down and kissed her cheek. He bristled.

How many men were there?

It wasn’t until the woman in the front passenger seat got out that he relaxed. Brown hair, same height, same smile. She and Lauren could be twins, except one was about twenty years older.

So these were her parents. Gabe squatted beside Evan and unstrapped one of the shin guards.

With the little guy blocking him, he had a clear view of the people across the lawn. Lauren’s mother held out a box to the man he assumed was the father. Her dad pointed his cell at something inside the container. After a few seconds, the man looked at the phone’s screen and gave a quick nod. The woman took a bracelet out of the box and put it on her daughter’s wrist and hugged her.

What the hell?

Gabe got up and patted Evan’s sweaty head. “Mom, why don’t you take Evan inside and get him to take a shower before dinner? I’ll be right in.”

He rubbed his hand dry on his jeans and was already on his way across the lawn before she answered.

The bracelet and cell phone incident bugged him. Something didn’t smell right.

“Hi there,” he said as he approached.

“Hey.” Lauren smiled and put her hand on his shoulder. Fortunately for him, it was the arm with the bracelet.

“Your scrapes are healing well,” he said and pretended to check out the wounds on her arm while he scanned the band. It was thick and polished smooth, except for the flowers around it. A small circle was visible on the back of the bracelet. It looked like a compartment but what was inside? More importantly, what was the connection between it and her father’s cell phone?

“Mom, Dad. This is Gabe.” He pretended to be oblivious to the glance passing between her parents and the stiff smile they flashed at him. “
He
is the reason your handicapped daughter isn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere, where you can’t find me.”