Blind Impulse (33 page)

He pressed the heels of his hands against his temples, snarling in agony.

“
Garin, oh Mary have mercy.”

H
e shivered. “Alyna?” he whispered, his voice grating. “Is this real? My head aches so terribly I fear this is an hallucination.”

“
I am real, Garin.”

“
Dear God,” he said and lunged forward.

Alyna didn’t care about the dirt.  She threw herself into his arms,
crying.  “What have they done to you?”

Garin held her with all of his strength.  “Praise the saints.”  He
buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply.

For a long moment she could only cry, fearing what this may do to Johannes opinion of Garin.

“
I can’t let you go,” he whispered.  But slowly, his grip on her eased slightly.  “The baby?” he asked, his voice shaking, and tears streaming down his cheeks.

She gently placed his hand over her belly.  He moved his fingers slightly then a bright but ago
nized smile appeared on his face.  “The child grows well.”  Again he moved to hold her close. 

Alyna could not find her voice.  Her hand brushed his shoulder. He flinched and sucked in his breath.

“
Garin, what’s wrong?” she asked, startled.

“
Nothing,” he
said.

But Alyna had already turned him so she could see his back in the dim light.  Her eyes widened in horror.  Marks from a whip and dark bruises marred his flesh.  “What have they done to you?  Are they nothing more than animals?”

“’
Tis nothing, Alyna,”
he said again taking her into his arms.  “Worry not over it.  Just let me hold you, please.  I love you,
wildefyr
.”

“
I have seen enough,” Johannes snapped.

Garin and Alyna both flinched.  Garin spun, pushing Alyna behind him.  “Who are you?”

“
It’s all rig
ht, Garin,” she said, lightly gripping his arm.

Johannes rounded on
Chause
, his body bowed with rage.  “Never in my life have I seen such abuse.  This is a house of God,
Chause
, not the Tower of London.  And to do this to a man who once took the Oath of th
e Cross, who served the Holy Mother Church in her cause...this is an outrage!”

He turned, striding toward the cell door.  “Baron Swein, my apologies, I am Johannes of Kent and I have been working with your wife regarding this annulment. It is my wish to sp
eak with you at length if you are willing.”

Garin’s brow blurred with a puzzled frown.  “I would be most pleased to speak with you, Lord Johannes, but I fear you will find these accommodations a bit uncomfortable.”

“
I find them intolerable.  Father Thomas,
see to it the baron is cleaned up and his wounds tended. 
Chause
, you and I will talk in your study...now.  Sir Salkeld and Sir Renwick, please accompany me.  The knights will remain with the ladies and the baron.”

“
Aye, your lordship.” Geoff said and win
ked at Alyna.

Alyna and Juliana, walked with Garin, following Father Thomas.  They left the terrible cell and ascended the stairs, moving into an open walkway leading through the gardens to the other side of the rectory.

Garin paused, his eyes squeezed shu
t, and lifted his face.  The misty air caressed his skin and he inhaled, filling his lungs.  He remained unmoving, his body quivering.

Alyna gently gripped his shoulder.  For a moment, she f
eared he would refuse to move b
ut he lowered his head and opened
his eyes, staring at an unfixed spot on the ground. 

“I missed this so much,” he said, his voice thick.  “The air, the smell, the damp mist, the sound of the water falling into the pool.”

“
It will be all right, Garin,” she said gently.  “Johannes is a goo
d man.”

He nodded.  “He has impressed me thus far.”  They resumed their walk, entering a room the monks used for bathing.  Two monks heated water while Alyna and Juliana attended to Garin’s wounds.  Alyna was relieved to discover they were not serious but
the bruises were dark.

“
I would try to kill whoever entered my room,” Garin said bitterly.  “I wanted out of that place.”  He paused and shivered.  “I thought my sanity had shattered.”

Alyna shook her head.  “Everything will be fine, Garin, I am certain of
it.” 

Juliana stepped out and Alyna helped Garin into the steaming tub the monks had filled.  Garin’s knights stood guard outside the door.  Father Thomas returned Garin’s clothes.  Alyna shaved him and then cleaned the dirt from his hair, struggling wit
h the tangles.  “Good glory,” she muttered in surprise.  “Your hair is almost down to the middle of your back.”

“
Would you prefer it shorter?”

“
Nay,” she said and ran her fingers through it.  “I like it long.”

He chuckled, sounding more like the Garin she
knew and loved.

She bathed him and Garin grew painfully aroused.  “Forgive me,” he whispered, pulling her to him for a powerful kiss.  “But I have missed you so much and now the feel of your hands on me is almost more than I can bear.”

“
I am sorry, Garin,”
she said blushing furiously.

“
Nay.”  He sighed bitterly and fell silent.

Alyna continued to work.  When she finished, Garin was dressed and again looked like a gallant knight
;
a man who deserved to be baron.

Father Thomas led them to
Chause’s
study.  Alyn
a blinked in surprise when she realized she could hear Johannes raging at him through the closed door.

Garin fought down a smile.  “I am beginning to like that man more and more.”

They waited while Thomas slipped in to announce them.  It only took a moment
before
Chause
stomped out, his face livid.  Thomas emerged, his eyes sparking.  “Baron,” he said.  “Johannes will speak to you now.

Garin kissed Alyna’s cheek then Thomas guided him into the unfamiliar room.

Geoff and Simon stepped out, followed by Thomas
who closed the door.  Alyna stood frozen, twisting her wedding ring on her finger, until Juliana pulled her to a nearby bench.

“
Now we wait,” Geoff said, starting to pace.

****

Garin clasped Johannes’ offered forearm warmly, impressed with the man’s str
ong grip. 

“
Please, Baron,” Johannes said, guiding him to a chair.  “Have a seat.  We have much to discuss.”

Garin did so, his heart in his throat.  It was so hard to hope again, knowing it might all be for naught.  What would he do if they forced him bac
k into that hellish cell?  He prayed it would not come to that.  Johannes probably would not allow it, but who knew what
Chause
would do once he was gone.

Johannes explained in detail the work he had done with Alyna and Geoff at Kirkoswald.  Garin distinct
ly heard the note of respect in his voice.

“
But, I have not yet come to a final decision,” Johannes said.  “That is why I wanted to meet with you.  I am not pleased with your treatment.
  No matter my decision, I vow
you will not return to that.”

Well, th
at was one small favor at least.

“
Tell, me, Garin,” Johannes said, his tone and attitude changing to a more relaxed and friendly nature.  “What caused you to believe you could succeed in this venture?”

Garin pinched his bottom lip, expecting more direct qu
estions about military service and the like which he had answered time and time again.

“
My wife,” he said softly.  “And what I saw with her uncle.”

“
What you saw?”

Garin scowled, knowing Alyna and her father would have told him the details of the situation
.  Then he realized Johannes probably wanted to hear everything from him, without influence.

“
Aye, when I returned home, I still had my sight.  I praise the saints I was able to see Alyna then, for that memory remains emblazoned on my thoughts.”

“
And you w
ere wounded in the Holy Land?”

“
Wounded and half starved.  As I’m sure you know, the Holy War was not progressing well.  Because of my weakened condition, I fell to the same fever which killed my father.”

“
I spoke at length with Sir Renwick.  He seems to t
hink that although you were nervous about your marriage to Lady Alyna, you were also looking forward to it.”

Garin couldn’t help the grin that appeared.  “Aye, but can you blame me?”

Johannes chuckled.  “Nay, Garin.  She is a beautiful and charming lady.”

“
Thank you.”  He sobered a bit, shifting
his weight in his chair.  “
I must admit I also anticipated my future as a whole; being home, being baron, raising a family.  Seeing so much war and death can change a man.  It makes him appreciate the simpler th
ings in life.”

Johannes grunted in approval and Garin heard the faint scratching of a quill.

“
After I recovered from my fever, at first I was still delirious, but I remember the
morning when I opened my eyes and truly realized I was blind.”

“
What were your
thoughts at that time?”

Garin shivered.  “I...I was absolutely terrified.  I had faced hordes of infidels destroying our lines, laying waste to our camps, and killing our wounded in their sick beds.  But that was nothing compared to the terror of the dark
ness that surrounded me.  It was not something I could face, every time I opened my eyes I had some measure of hope God would grant a miracle and my sight would return.  But that hope soon faded into the very darkness I lived in.”

“
Sweet Jesu,” Johannes wh
ispered under his breath.

Garin almost smiled.  Even Johannes did not realize the extent of Garin’s acute hearing.

“
My true agony,” Garin continued.  “Was realizing the loss of my future, especially my betrothed and my chance for a family.  But Alyna astou
nded me when she fought to keep the betrothal.”

“
Aye,” Johannes replied.  “That fact surprised me as well.”  He paused for a long moment.  “Many have described to me the struggles you went through to conquer this and I understand well the courage it takes
for a man to face and defeat his fears.  Everyone regards you as a truly valiant knight who refused to run from a battle.”

Garin’s eyebrows flew up his forehead.

“
But there is one thing, I must understand.  When Father Thomas returned, you told him you had
been granted a miracle but had not regained your sight.  What then was the miracle?”

Garin’s throat tightened.  “Alyna.”

“
Your wife?” he asked in surprise.

“
Aye, ‘twas her faith and love for me that was my miracle.”  He sucked in his breath and laced his
fingers tightly together.  “Johannes, please hear me on this.  I no longer care if I remain baron, I know longer care if I inherit or not, I no longer care if my sight ever returns.  But please, do not annul this marriage.  I will give anything to keep my
wife and child.  Take anything you want, but please leave me my family.”

Johannes remained silent for a long moment and Garin fought not to fidget.  He wished Alyna was present to describe the expression on his face.  Was he shocked? Angry? Suffering a foo
l?

“
I see,” Johannes said softly but Garin received no hint from his voice.  He heard him rise.  “If you will step outside, I will call you when I reach my decision.”

Garin stood, his heart thundering in his chest.  That was all?  Had he offended the man b
y sharing a part of his heart?  Other men did not admit to such things.  Garin made the one quarter turn and six paces to the door by memory.  “Thank you, your lordship,” he said and quickly left the room.

As he shut the door behind him, Alyna threw hersel
f into his arms.  “What happened?” she asked.  “Will he allow the marriage?”

“
I don’t know,” he replied, holding her tightly.  “I don’t know.”

****

Alyna sat with Garin on the bench, clinging to him, her head resting against his chest.  She struggled to
slow her pounding heart and keep her dizziness at bay.  The last thing she wanted was to collapse in front of everyone.