Blind Delusion (47 page)

“That’s fine Babe but I could’ve used a little more notice,” Bill said with a cocky grin,” If you don’t mind waiting until tomorrow, I’ll get my housekeeper to come by in the morning to straighten things up a bit. I guess you heard about my new two-bedroom apartment uptown at Park Connecticut. The rent is over three grand but I can easily afford it now. The business is going great.”

Renee couldn’t restrain herself any longer. “That’s what I called you about,” she said, “The Business.”

“You don’t wanna discuss us getting back together?” he asked with a confused look.

“No, I didn’t call to get back together. Anyway, you appear to be doing just fine,” she said. “Last week I saw you at McCormick and Schmick’s sitting with a bunch of pasty-faced suits and a twenty-something blond hanging on your arm.”

“Oh, that was nobody. She’s just an associate of Shaw’s. You should’ve stopped over to the table to say hello.”

“Whatever. Your private life is your own business now,” said Renee, “My attorney filed the legal separation agreement you gave me.” Renee saw his eyes flinch but she continued. “I fished the papers out of the kitchen trash bin later that afternoon when I went downstairs to make a cup of tea. My attorney says after a year, the court will grant us a no-fault divorce. But I’m sure your attorney already told you that by now. I intend to file after the waiting period if you don’t.”

“Is that why you put the ‘For Sale’ sign on our front lawn?”

“Yes. I hired a real estate agent a few days ago and put the house on the market. We already have several qualified buyers so we can just split the proceeds on the sale.”

“I haven’t agreed to any of this, Renee,” he said, standing rigidly in the middle of the floor. “You’re moving too damn fast.” Then, he stuffed both hands in his pockets. With drooped shoulders, a crestfallen look spread across his face. “I guess there’s someone else in the picture. That explains the rush.”

“No, Bill. This is about me.” She stopped packing and turned to face him. “I need to bring meaning to my life. I’m the only one who can rescue me. And in case you’ve forgotten, we used
my
Aunt Clara’s money as the down payment on this house. I didn’t need your approval to list it since only my name appears on the title. Although, I did try to contact you many times over the past several days but you never bothered to return my calls.”

“I’m sorry Renee. I’ve been a little distracted lately. Do you mind letting me in on your plans now? After 14 years of marriage is that too much to ask? Where are you moving?” He advanced towards her and sat down on the bed.

Renee resumed packing as she spoke. “I found a three-story, brick Victorian rowhouse near 24
th
and I Street in NW. Plus, it’s fully decorated because the owners had to leave the country. It’s near George Washington University and Metro-accessible. I’ll be able to lease office space in a secure building nearby when I’m ready to go back to seeing clients full-time.”

“Renee, please don’t do this, Babe. Give me another chance. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have to give. I’m not the type to be overly expressive with my feelings,” he said with a wounded look in his eyes. “You’ve known me long enough to understand that.”

“I know that Bill, and I don’t blame you. But it’s taken me a long time to gain the courage to start becoming the person I want to be. I’m sorry but I can’t go back to the way it was.”

Bill’s facial muscles tensed as he waved his arm about, gesturing at their possessions. “What are you gonna do with all this stuff throughout the entire house?”

“Estate sale. If there’s anything you want, take it. There’s no need for us to argue about material things. The auction’s not scheduled to take place for another two weeks,” said Renee, with decisiveness. “You’ll get half the proceeds from the estate sale as well. I plan to donate the bulk of my half to charity, especially to those groups helping the homeless.”

As if Bill finally realized it was hopeless to argue, his demeanor turned bitter. He got up from the bed. “Since when did you turn into Mother Theresa? Guess I missed your coronation to sainthood. But then you always did think you were better than everybody else,” he sniffed.

“I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm today. You couldn’t begin to understand what I’ve been through these past few days.” Renee inched closer to him, not afraid. “We have other serious issues to discuss and that’s why I called you. I actually want to help you Bill, because I truly don’t believe you have a clue about what you’ve gotten yourself into with Shaw.”

“Again, you seem to enjoy insulting me. So, what the hell is all this about Renee? I had to drop everything to rush over here.”

Renee explained to Bill how she knew that his business partner, Clifton Corbin Shaw, was connected with a known drug lord named Ian Mathias, who the FBI had been investigating for six months. She said that the company Shaw started with seed money is really a front for money laundering. To prove it Renee retrieved the documents she had printed off her computer and handed them to Bill. As he read the company documents, the color drained from his face. “I can’t believe it!” Bill shook his head and clenched the sheath of papers in his fist. “There must be some explanation.” He looked up at Renee. “Huh … How did you get this?”

“Before you left for India you gave my secretary permission to practice setting up a network by connecting both our computers. Do you remember?” When Bill nodded ‘yes’, Renee continued. “My secretary, Brenda has been going through a rough time in her life this past week and in her distraction she forgot to remove the connection or simply didn’t have time.”

“When I had to search through my patient data, I stumbled upon these Techands company documents, which as you can see clearly show that Ian Mathias is the only investor and major stockholder,” said Renee, “and this man is under suspicion by the FBI.”

Bill sat back down on the bed slowly, looking lost and stricken. A film of perspiration settled on top of his mustache. He crushed the papers into a tight mass and hurled it at the wall. He buried his face in his hands and curled himself into a ball. If this was a ploy to get her to feel sorry for him, it was working. She could tell by his reaction that he had no idea what his business partner was involved in. Renee felt relieved that her instincts about her husband had been right. She sat down next to him on the bed and touched his shoulder. She sensed his body tense up under her touch. He straightened his posture to regain control. Renee waited for him to speak.

Bill closed his eyes and spoke just above a whisper. “I’ll write my letter of resignation today. I’ve been so busy training the guys I didn’t pay attention to where the investments were coming from. Once I trained Mahesh to maintain our corporate server, I didn’t bother to go through the records that Shaw stored on the server,” said Bill, thoughtfully. “I’ll think of some excuse without tipping Shaw off that I know he’s just been using me.” Bill’s voice cracked. “He’s been giving off the appearance of running a legitimate company. But really if what you say about our investor is true and I have no reason to believe you’re lying to me, Shaw’s just been stockpiling illegal drug money. No doubt using this money to fund his future political aspirations. Seems you were right about him all along.”

Renee squeezed his hand. With eyes still closed, Bill couldn’t see her nodding in agreement. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he grabbed her arm. “Listen to me, Renee. Don’t tell anybody that you know about this connection to illegal activities at Techands. Let the cops or the FBI or the IRS do their jobs and figure it out for themselves. I don’t want you to get dragged into this mess. It might be dangerous if Shaw and this guy Mathias suspect you know what they’re up to. Do you promise me you’ll stay out of it?” Bill looked at her with a wild-eyed expression.

Renee saw the desperation and fear in his face. He wouldn’t let go of her arm until she agreed not to get involved. “Yes Bill, but even if I don’t go to the authorities, the FBI are close to building their case against Ian Mathias. It won’t take them long to find out about all of Mathias’s associations, including Shaw, you, and Techands. Just quitting Techands won’t be enough,” said Renee, “You have to turn in state’s evidence to show that you weren’t involved and you have to do it without tipping Shaw off. If you suddenly resign, he’ll know something is not right and he’ll get suspicious. What are you going to say to him?” she asked.

Bill stood up and clasped his hands together under his chin. He looked past her in deep reflection for several moments. Then, he spoke. “I don’t want you to worry about that. I’ll say I have to resign for medical reasons. I’m going back to my office in Virginia now to see if I can gather more evidence to turn into the authorities. I think you’re right,” he nodded, “I can’t just sit back and let them figure it out because they will figure it out. And my name will still be associated with Shaw on all the company documents. I need to make sure my recruits aren’t implicated in all this. Maybe I can work out a deal so they can return home to India. Just let me take care of it, Renee. I’m not going to come around here any more because if something goes wrong … well, it’s just better that you stay completely out of it. You know how to get in touch with me if you need me.”

Renee watched as Bill walked out the bedroom and slowly closed the door behind him.

Chapter 35
 

T
he tension boiled inside her from the strain she’d been under. Days of unreleased stress had mounted up, beginning with trying to stay strong for Brenda to delivering Billi’s baby into an uncertain, motherless world. On top of those things, losing the homeless woman to childbirth complications. Had Billi not been homeless and afraid to seek prenatal care throughout her pregnancy perhaps she would have survived. Renee thought about the infant she delivered yesterday afternoon and wondered if it would be fair to try to adopt the baby now when her life was so unstable and uncertain.

Next week, she planned to move into her new house near George Washington University, alone. While she and Bill both still cared for each other in their own way, this passionless existence between them was no longer enough for her. In the beginning, Bill had been funny and attentive, but over the years he had become closed off emotionally and she did not know why. She would always hold feelings for Bill, but she now knew that he was not her true love. For these reasons she planned to go through with the divorce proceedings even though he said he didn’t want her to. She had sacrificed for too long who she was to please others. The dispassionate and guarded persona that Aunt Clara had clothed her in during her childhood did not fit any longer. Life was too short to live without happiness.

Renee had failed to create the perfect ‘white picket-fenced’ family that she had always wanted—a loving couple and happy children. She might not ever be able to offer the baby girl that she had delivered yesterday a traditional home with both a mother and father present, but she could offer all of her love. Renee had always yearned for what she perceived as the ideal family although she had never experienced it herself as a child. Perhaps that’s why she came to regard it as the ideal. Should she deny this to another child? All she could guarantee the child was her own love, nurturing, and security. If only she could be sure that would be enough. What
she
needed right now was to be with Deek and feel his arms around her. All these other decisions and uncertainties could wait. Ever since their kiss yesterday in the church’s private sanctuary in the basement, Renee couldn’t get Deek out of her mind.

Renee now understood what kind of man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She wanted a man who was secure with his manhood, one who knew what he wanted and was not afraid to unleash passion with his whole heart and soul to the woman he loved. Fear of rejection would not frighten such a man because he would be confident and sure of his desires. There was only one man she knew of who fit that description, Deek.

Thinking of him made her feel playful and sexy. She reached into the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out a sheer, Swiss-dot, black chemise. When she put it on just for fun, the lingerie showed off her sexy, hourglass shape and accentuated her large breasts. The lettuce edged hem just barely skimmed her derriere. She slipped her legs through its matching thong and immediately felt wicked. A pale-jade pendant encircled with green peridot semi-precious stones and matching drop earrings, that had been her mother’s, glowed against her brown skin. A pair of black, ankle-strapped high heels completed the look, and she felt transformed into a beautiful adventurous woman, full of passion.

Dreaming and fantasizing about Deek wouldn’t satisfy her any longer. Renee picked up the phone and punched the first five digits of his telephone number then slammed the phone down. Her heart beat excitedly. It wasn’t like her to openly display her emotions and sexual needs. But if she didn’t take a proactive approach to show Deek how much she wanted him perhaps some other sweet, young thing would—someone like Ana Santos who had been working closely with him for several months. Ana Santos did not bother to hide her attraction to him. Renee picked up the phone again and this time dialed her driver, Remy. While she waited for Remy to arrive she quickly tossed a few essentials in an overnight bag. She hoped Deek wouldn’t be angry with her for showing up at his place so late without warning. But if she called first she knew she would not have the nerve to go through with this plan once she heard his voice. She hoped it wasn’t too late to finally reveal her true desire for him.

Twenty minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring. Renee removed her mother’s full-length, dark chestnut mink coat from its plastic, dry cleaning bag, and wrapped the fur coat around her scantily clad body. The fur felt warm and luxurious next to her bare skin. She took one last look in the foyer mirror for encouragement before opening the front door. Remy’s moon-shaped, dark cocoa tinted face displayed his usual white, toothy grin. Her Nigerian driver wore his typical, chauffeur’s uniform—a bargain-priced, dark suit with an obvious sheen to its texture, crisp white shirt and tie. Remy offered his elbow and escorted her to the car. Both being 5 feet 4 inches tall, she usually met him eye-to-eye but in three-inch heels Renee towered over him. Remy opened the door of his black sedan then she carefully climbed in the backseat. Since meeting Remy Adu two years ago from a colleague, Renee could always count on her driver to talk nonstop. But this time she didn’t mind. His banter distracted her from thinking about visiting Deek’s home unannounced wearing nothing but a see-through chemise and thong under her coat. She had never initiated anything this bold with him before. Deek had always been the one pursuing her and usually receiving mixed messages for his trouble.