Blind Delusion (21 page)

He held up his hands as a harmless gesture. “Whoa, Doc. I don’t have any ulterior motives here. You’re perfectly safe with me. I don’t want you to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

“That’s the problem, Deek,” she whispered, laughing to herself, “But I guess you’re right. I can barely keep my eyes open.” She yawned.

“I’ll get you a towel and one of my pajama shirts to sleep in,” he said, “It’s not Victoria Secrets but it’ll be comfortable for one night.”

When Deek returned, he handed her the folded bundle. “The guest room’s right there and the bathroom’s at the end of the hallway if you want to freshen up. There’s also an extra toothbrush in the cabinet.”

“Thanks. You’ve thought of everything,” smiled Renee.

“I try to. If you need anything else I’ll be in the room next door. Good-night,” he said, then kissed her briefly before going to his room and
closing the door behind him.

Renee showered and rubbed her body with the French perfumed lotion called Saphir by Boucheron that she carried in her bag. She slipped Deek’s cotton nightshirt over her head and hoped the perfume’s enticing scent lingered in his shirt long after she left tomorrow. That way he would have no choice but to think of her. She already knew that no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about him. The bedroom walls were thin and she detected his jazz music playing next door. She heard Deek moving around in his bedroom. Renee couldn’t sleep either, not knowing whether it was her excitement at being alone with him again or the crashing noises coming from the storm outside.

She laid awake in bed for what seemed like an hour when suddenly, the wind flurried and a blast of lightening split a tree in back of the house. The small single-floor dwelling vibrated when a large tree limb smashed against Renee’s bedroom window. She leaped from the bed. At the very instant she flung open her door, Deek stood in front of the doorway and caught her in his arms. Her pajama top brushed against his bare chest. He wore only the matching drawstring bottoms. His familiar, spicy scent comforted, as well as, excited her. She felt him getting erect and quickly pulled away.

“I can’t hide it, I want you,” he said, drawing her close again.

“Deek, I can’t. It’s not right. The guilt afterwards is too much.”

“I understand, sweetheart. I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later.” He kissed her forehead and gently pushed her away at arm’s length.

“Try to get some sleep and I’ll take you home first thing in the morning. If you get frightened again, don’t worry. You know I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know that,” she said, staring down at her bare feet, avoiding his irresistible eyes.

Deek walked over to the window to see if there was any damage from the tree limb. “I don’t think there’s any harm done. I’ll look at it tomorrow. Goodnight then,” he said.

“Goodnight, Deek. Thanks for coming to check on me.”

He nodded and closed her door behind him.

Renee crawled back into bed and lay awake in the dark staring up at the ceiling for hours. The wind ebbed and peaked throughout the night as it whipped against her window, but she felt safe inside with Deek in the next bedroom. The last thought on her mind before falling asleep was of him.

Chapter 15 – Brenda
 

A
round midnight that Friday, Baby Buddha woke up crying to be changed. Brenda had hoped he would sleep through the night, but no such luck. She knew there were no more diapers left in the diaper bag that she had packed earlier that morning. She opened the closet in the nursery room where she kept the supply of disposable diapers and found no diapers! Brenda threw up her arms in frustration. She had asked Jerome to bring home more Pampers when he went out to get his cigarettes earlier that afternoon, but now she realized that he hadn’t done it. He was out on a 14-hour run for UDS and wouldn’t get in until six that morning. The only all-night 7-Eleven Brenda knew of was in her old Trinidad neighborhood in Northeast where she and Jerome used to live before moving in with Jerome’s grandmother in her Southeast Capitol Hill neighborhood. Only a first-class A-1 fool would go into Trinidad after midnight toting a three-month old in her arms, she thought.

She grabbed a pair of large blue diaper pins and retrieved a folded cloth diaper from the top dresser drawer. Brenda didn’t think she’d ever use those cloth diapers and rubber pants that her environmentally conscious aunt had given her to use. Her aunt had tried to talk her out of using disposable diapers because they weren’t biodegradable. Brenda recalled her aunt saying at the baby shower, “
Honey, those Pampers will be sitting in landfills long after Baby Justin starts collecting social security and beyond.”
But her aunt was childless and pushing sixty. She’d never have to rinse out, soak, and wash a load of dirty cloth diapers every day. It certainly didn’t help that Jerome was on the night shift now. Brenda cared about the environment too but realistically she wouldn’t have time or the energy to use cloth diapers for the next three years. But tonight she was glad to have them available in an emergency.

Brenda couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. She played back in her mind what had happened earlier in the day when she had come home from work early and found Jerome there at 4 o’clock in the afternoon when he usually didn’t get home from work until 7 in the evening. Surprisingly, the loud music coming from behind her closed bedroom door didn’t wake up Baby Buddha as she climbed the stairs with him sleeping in her arms. She had placed the baby in his crib and walked back down the hallway to confront Jerome and find out what he was doing home so early. She recalled shaking him on the shoulder to wake him up and asking him point blank, “Why aren’t you still at work, Jerome? It’s only 4 o’clock.” Brenda had braced herself for his answer.

“Oh, you’re home,” he yawned, and lifted himself from the bed. He had been napping and hadn’t heard her come in. “Big Cooper just got back this morning from a worker’s comp injury. He’s one of the senior guys so my supervisor bumped me from my day shift. My new run starts at 8 tonight and ends at 6 in the morning.” He walked over to the dresser and began grooming his mustache in the mirror. Brenda felt relieved that her first suspicion of him getting fired wasn’t the case, but she still didn’t like his new hours.

“Isn’t there anything you can do to get back on the day shift?” she said, and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to ignore how tired she was. “I need more help with Justin in the evenings. You know I started that online computer class last week and I have to study. Now you won’t even be here until just before I leave in the mornings.” Brenda sighed.

“Well, I ain’t the boss,” said Jerome, slipping on a clean shirt. “I gotta play by their rules.”

“I know, Baby,” she said and leaned back on the bed and closed her eyes. Jerome walked over and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

“Wassup, Girl? You sick or somethin’? What are you doin’ home this early?”

“Dr. Renee closed up shop early,” said Brenda, then sat up and rested her head on one hand. “She’s been acting kind of strange lately. She seems a little confused at times, but maybe she just has a lot on her mind.” Brenda could tell that Jerome wasn’t really interested in her boss as he recovered his shoes from under the bed. He appeared to be preparing to go out. She asked him to bring back some diapers before he returned home to change into his uniform for work. He had said he would, but of course now she saw that he hadn’t brought back any Pampers.

Brenda pinned the cloth diaper snuggly and slipped on the rubber pants. “This’ll have to do Little Guy until I can get hold of your daddy. He can pick up more Pampers on his way home.”

Baby Buddha wiggled his toes and gave Brenda a toothless grin, obviously content now that his diaper had been changed. She settled in the rocking chair and cuddled him close to her breast as she fed him his bottle. After drinking the last of his formula, Baby Buddha fell asleep with droplets of milk on his bottom lip. Brenda kissed her baby’s milk-soaked lips and set the empty bottle on the nightstand. It was almost 12:30
AM.
She knew that he would sleep through the night now that he was dry and fed. She laid him down in the crib on his back without waking him up and gave him another kiss goodnight.

Once inside her bedroom, she paged her husband, keying in their agreed upon emergency code of ‘911.’ This code meant to call back immediately. She sat down in Grandmama Etta’s favorite high-back cushioned chair at the foot of the bed and waited for the telephone to ring. Twenty minutes passed without receiving a callback. Brenda knew something had to be wrong when he hadn’t responded to her emergency page. Jerome had once told her that drivers have CB’s in their cabs, so a dispatcher could contact a driver at any time in an emergency. She hoped dispatch would make the effort to get a message to him. Brenda recalled how Jerome had complained to her about dispatch. “
Those A-holes hate to interrupt a run so don’t call unless the damn house is on fire,”
Jerome had said.

Brenda dialed Union Delivery Service’s emergency contact number to request that their dispatch unit radio her husband. She waited for what seemed like an eternity before a human answered. She told the dispatcher it was crucial that she get in touch with her husband. She didn’t want to reveal that her emergency was to bring home more Pampers. Dispatch put her on hold and she waited even longer before the next voice answered—a woman with a sugary sweet mid-western accent. The woman identified herself as Odessa Dillon, Jerome’s supervisor. Jerome must have been right about UDS not wanting to prevent a driver from completing his run. Dispatch had retrieved the supervisor before putting through the call to Jerome at her request. Brenda assumed they wanted to first assess the nature of the emergency.

“Mrs. Johnson, I am so sorry to be the one to tell you this, Honey, but our dispatchers can’t get in touch with your husband, Darlin’,” said Ms. Dillon in a cloying voice that didn’t sound genuine to Brenda.

Brenda took a deep breath and exhaled. “Why not, Ms. Dillon? Jerome told me your dispatchers don’t ever want to interrupt work but this is a real emergency. I need to speak to my husband and it’s really nobody’s business why.”

“Calm down, Honey. I don’t have a clue where your husband is at. I wish I did, I mean for your sake and all. But the fact is … well, Jerome shoulda been the one to tell you this … but … he was let go ‘bout a week ago.”

“Let go!” said Brenda, “Why? What happened?”

“Uh, it’s really not my place to be tellin’ it. Sugah, ya need to talk to your huz-band.”

“Tell me what!” Brenda demanded.

“Fact of the matter is, I gave Jerome every chance I could. Customers kept complainin’ about his attitude. More’n a coupla times he strolled in here late as you please and didn’t wanna follow my orders.”

“Ms. Dillon, I beg you to give Jerome another chance. I know he flies off the handle at times,” said Brenda, slumping down in the chair, “And, yes, sometimes he does have a problem with authority, but please let me straighten it out with him.”

“Well, Sugah, ‘course if that’s all it was to it I’d be happy to oblige. I understand a woman tryin’ to keep her family together and all. But unfortunately it’s a little bit more complicated I’m sorry to say.”

“Sorry to say what?” said Brenda, “Please Ms. Dillon, just be straight with me.”

“Well, when you put it like that …” she paused. “Last week, your huz-band … Jerome, … Uh, … tested positive for drugs on a random drug test.”

“What? I don’t believe it,” cried Brenda, “He’s been clean for over 18 months. Why would he do something like that now?”

“I wish I could tell ya, Sugah,” said Odessa Dillon in a saccharine drawl, “All I know is, our health practitioner’s report showed Jerome’s urine contained traces of drugs. So, ‘course I had to terminate him. I had no choice. We have a no tolerance policy here at UDS. There was nothing else I could do, Darlin’.”

“Couldn’t the test be wrong?” Brenda sobbed.

“No, Sugah. I’m afraid not. For what it’s worth, you have my sympathy, Mrs. Johnson.”

“Thanks for letting me know the truth,” said Brenda and hung up the phone.

Brenda cried for thirty minutes before her head cleared enough to be able to think about what to do next. She needed to talk to someone she trusted. Brenda dialed Dr. Renee’s emergency number and after four rings, her boss’s recorded message came on.
If this is an emergency dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Otherwise, to leave a message for Dr. Renee Hayes, press 1 or stay on the line.
Brenda didn’t want to leave a message so she hung up. She didn’t get any answer when she tried Dr. Renee’s home number either. Where could Dr. Renee be after 1:30 in the morning with her husband out of town? Out of desperation she decided to try to reach one of her girlfriends, Cha-Cha or Veda. Brenda didn’t want to reveal any trouble in her marriage, especially when she had told them that things were going well, but under the circumstances she didn’t have any choice. Who can you rely on if not your closest girlfriends?
Brenda dialed Cha-Cha’s number first and prayed that she’d be home. Cha-Cha picked up on the first ring.

“Baby, where are you?” said Cha-Cha in an anxious voice. “You’re almost an hour late!” Her girlfriend had obviously expected someone else to call. Brenda hated to disappoint her. “Cha-Cha, it’s me, Brenda.”

“What? Brenda? Girl, what’re you doing calling me so late. What’s the matter?”

“Are you busy right now, Cha?” Brenda asked cautiously.

“Sweetie, I stay busy,” said Cha-Cha in her sultry voice, “Got on my fly D&G’s, my matching thongs and I’m a be kickin’ it at a private VIP party with my man tonight. Hold up, I think I hear the bell. That’s probably him now with his late self.” She chuckled into the phone and told Brenda to hold on. But, Brenda hung up before Cha-Cha could return to the phone. She knew Cha-Cha would probably send her boyfriend away and come to her aid, but Brenda didn’t want to impose knowing how madly in love Cha-Cha was for the first time in months. These days all Cha-Cha ever talked about was this fine Brother she’d been seeing. When they weren’t spending time together they were text-ing each other little love messages all day long. It’s a wonder either of them got any work done, thought Brenda and tried hard not to feel envious.