Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2) (25 page)

Chapter 34

Tamar Broden

(TAY-marr BRO-dun)

“You mean… you went to a place that
seemed
like hell?” Mrs. Trinken asked.

“No, Ma’am. Apollyon doesn’t guard a pit that just
seems
bottomless. No, I was there. Not condemned, but in waiting.”

“So…” Jezreel prodded.

“So, nothing. That’s what happened.”

“Okay, let me see if I can get this straight. The blue markings…”

“Are from where my love, Vindicus, touched me. Yes, Jezreel.”

“And I get that the skin coloring is from being remade,” she said. “But I’m still not clear on the pink hair and eyes.”

“Well, I’m not completely sure myself. That all happened at the same time the skin thing did.”

“But ya said everyone’s hair matched what they were a Guardian over. So does that mean yer a Guardian over something pink?” Mr. Trinken puzzled.

“I actually haven’t rationalized it out that far. I’m not completely sure if any of that part was even real because… that’s when I was seeing through veiled eyes. Thanks to my weak mind and Ahriman’s tea. They may have all been bald, hideous creatures. I’m no longer sure.”

“But Apollyon, I mean Vindicus, his hair was really the color of this curl. And real sapphires are there upon your cheek, old friend,” Jezreel said.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“Then, perhaps you saw the Angels as they were, just not the place. Perhaps you saw the Angels in their former glory. The way they
used
to be. The way God made them. Before they did whatever they did to get banished to hell,” Jezreel ventured.

“You’re causing me to get a headache, Jezreel. All I know for certain is what I’ve told you. You now know every event in my life from the moment I slipped from that windowsill.” I laughed. “What I’m finding funny is how you seemingly accept my transformation mask, my job as an executioner, my unrighteous vengeance on Merodach, and even my exile to a different
layer
. Yet you give pause to the color of my hair.”

“Your hair is something I can see and touch. The rest of it is incomprehensible. So my mind accepts it as a true fairytale, I guess. One thing that
does
trouble me, are the Mermaids.”

“Eww, I know… creepy beyond description. I always pictured them as enchanting and attractive.” I shivered. “Believe me. They’re not.”

“You are beautiful, my friend. I can’t stop staring at you. It makes me sad,” she admitted.

“Sad? Why so, Jezreel?”

“Because how will you be able to stay in Ashgard? I wanted for so long to get you back, only to have you removed from me once more.”

“But people here know me. They will accept me, surely.”

“Accept you? Yes, child. They’ll accept you,” Margy said. “But not without questions. Can you imagine how terrifying your story would be? If only
half
what you’ve confided to us were to be known beyond these doors, all of Ashgard would cower in fear.”

“Yep, reckon we think this place here is the whole world. Knowing about other layers ain’t a real comforting revelation. Not to mention the fact there are giant Angels living just over there in them mountains,” Wynford added.

“Your secrets are safe with us, Jenevier. But they cannot be kept if you’re ever seen. Believe me,” Jezreel said. “You don’t want to be confined to this cottage, no matter
how
much you love it. And besides, Alastyn’s the only one who knew the truth about you killing Merodach. That secret he’s hidden away within his heart. He’s never breathed a word of it. If you hadn’t confessed such to us now, we would’ve never known he died and then returned. All of Ashgard thanks the gods daily for his miraculous kindness and wisdom. Everyone looks to him as their savior. Gone are the days of fear and hiding their daughters.”

“That’s… that’s wonderful. Ashgard has become the paradise God had always intended it to be. Huh, it’s funny. Now that my home is the perfect place to live, I’m no longer welcome. There really is no place for me.”

“We can make our own place.” Jezreel smiled, squeezing my hand.

“You are a true friend. Thank you for even suggesting it. But we both know you’re needed here. You’ve found your destiny, Jezreel. And I couldn’t be any happier if it were myself. No, I have yet to find my place. What I do know for certain is that I no longer belong anywhere I’ve already been.”

“Hey. What about your mask?” Jezreel asked. “Would you blend in better as Vashti?”

Margy and Wynford fidgeted uncomfortably in their seats.

“Hmm… You tell me.” Without moving or pausing, mid-drink of tea, I was Vashti. A breath later, I was Jenevier once more.

“Oh dear. That’ll never do,” Jezreel said.

And just like the old days, she and I burst into inappropriate laughter at the worst possible time. It seemed to be a crude gift we shared.

“There’s one thing I will do before I leave this realm,” I said. “And that is to go see Alastyn.”

The trio swapped worried looks.

“Don’t get upset. I already know Alastyn’s married to Willow. I even know they have a child.”

“Two,” Jezreel added.

“Two? Well, it matters not. We’re old friends from our youth. I’d love nothing more than to spend some time catching up.”

“Wow. That’s probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Jezreel, why do you name me selfish?”

“Jenevier, it took Alastyn
years
to get over you the first time and then
years
to get over you the second time. And from what we’ve learned today, he did so along with keeping your secrets from the world. That could’ve been no easy feat. He even saw Vashti.”

“Yes, he did. And still he accepted me.”

“So you admit Alastyn is bound to you in some weird cosmic way and that he’ll love you and want you, no matter what?” Jezreel asked.

“Yes, that’s
exactly
what I’m saying.”

“And you don’t see that as selfish?”

“How is it selfish? It’s just the natural way of things between us. Alastyn and I share an inexplicable bond. I’ll always love him and he’ll always return that love. It’s not an
evil
thing,” I protested. “Nothing but good can come from our friendship.”

“Friendship? Is that all it is? Friendship?”

“Yes, Jezreel. He is part of my heart. I love him as I love you. Why do you go on so about this?”

“Alastyn has always and
will
always love you as a woman. Not a friend only. He is an incredibly strong man to push on with his life after losing his entire heart. Not once, but twice. The loss of you has very nearly destroyed him, over and over. Jenevier, have mercy on his tattered soul. He has children now.”

“Jezreel, why such panic? As you say, he has a wife and babies. How would it hurt to just say hello and finally keep my promise of return? He will hug my neck, introduce me to his Willow, and let me play with the little ones. How do you glean ill from that?”

“You have always had such a kind and innocent heart, child,” Margy said. “I feared maybe you’d been forced to sacrifice it. What with the horror story you just told us and all. And perhaps, in a way, you have. But not in this one thing. Not with your childhood friends. It warms my heart to know the old Jenevier still lives inside you somewhere. Now, think back to what Jezreel just told you. Think hard, child.”

“Because… because we’re bonded? But, I don’t understand how—”

“Alastyn will forsake
anything
in all of creation to honor that bond,” Jezreel said as she patted my hand.

The realization of her words washed through me. Sorrow accompanied its wake. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, burning as lava. There was no relief.

“So I’ve lost even him… now, that’s everything. No home. No family. And now, no friends.”

“There, there. It’s not all bad,” Margy said.

“Is it not? Pray, tell me, Mrs. Trinken. Tell me. What of it is good? I need to know the good right now,” I said through my tears.

The front door banging, accompanied by loud voices, sent a jolt of panic through my weary mind. I reacted the only way my body would allow me to react. Varick’s stern training kicked in.

I disappeared from my seat at the table and was standing behind a now silent pair of uninvited guests in but a breath. I’d seized both by their hair. A lethal wing was curled around each as the razor sharp tips pressed firmly against their stunned throats.

“No! Jenevier, wait!” Jezreel screamed.

My ruby gaze shot over to my three companions who were crowded in the kitchen doorway. Three horror-filled sets of eyes were fixed firmly upon me.

“Don’t hurt them,” Margy pleaded. “They’re our friends.”

Sanity returned. As quickly as she’d appeared, Vashti was gone. I released the two handfuls of hair and took a hurried step back. The strangers remained frozen as they were. Wynford made his way to me, placing a loving arm around my trembling shoulders.

“There, there, Miss Jenevier. Don’t you fret none. Twern’t your fault. You was just doing what you do,” he assured me. “Protecting the ones you love.”

The intruding couple slowly turned around, their wide eyes catching the first glimpse of their tiny attacker. I wanted to melt into the floor. I put my arms around Mr. Trinken and buried my face in his comforting side.

“Marcus, Alissa, I am terribly sorry for the misunderstanding,” Jezreel said. “We were just a little on edge when you came in. Forgive us. Let me introduce you both to my oldest and dearest friend in the whole world, Miss Jenevier Embarr.”

I peeked up from under Wynford’s arm to see a graceful white-haired woman with emerald eyes and a warm smile approaching me. The man grabbed her arm, halting her advance. I tempered my heightened nerves. I took a deep breath, cleared my throat, then turned to them with my welcoming hand outstretched, and as pleasant a smile as I could’ve ever hoped to manage.

“Apologies. My manners have grown atrocious in my solitude. Do not hold ill thoughts toward this home. Aunt Marlise would never allow it. And neither will I. Please, make yourself at home while Jezreel heats up a new pot of tea.”

Jezreel disappeared into the kitchen at my words and Margy joined her husband as I motioned for our guests to take a seat in the parlor.

“Apologies, once more,” I said politely. “My mind was elsewhere when our introductions were made. Did Jezreel name you Markus and Alissa? So very nice to meet you both. My name is Jenevier Olesia Embarr. I’ve been away for many years and I regret not knowing you sooner.” I smiled at them as I grasped each proffered forearm and nodded my head slightly.

The couple just stared at me. Jezreel entered with the hot tea and the Trinkens cautiously took their seats. The silence was thick. I was admittedly confused by their continued stares and lack of appropriate responses.

“I apologized for frightening you earlier. Have I caused your tongues to lose their wit?”

“Jenevier, perhaps they’re just taking in your exotic colorings. An enchanting creature such as yourself is a rarity indeed.” Jezreel winked at me as she gently elbowed my arm.

I realized only then how I must look to a common person of Ashgard at first glance. And then, every other glance thereafter.

“Oh, I suppose so. I’m so used to it, I fail to see how it may give others pause.”

“It’s not your coloring, although that’s stunningly beautiful as well. It’s your name that has caused my voice to leave me,” Alissa admitted.

“My name? Is it so odd to you? How is it possibly more shocking to you than my hair, my skin, or my eyes?”

“Jenevier, this is Markus and Alissa. Alastyn’s parents,” Jezreel said.

I gasped. “By all that’s holy…”

I spent the next several hours listening to their lives. Jezreel’s life, Alastyn’s life, and all the happenings of Ashgard since the day I walked through the ethereal gate of Vanahirdem. Jezreel was kind enough to fill in the parts about my long absence she deemed appropriate for them to know. I sat in silence. Listening to all I’d missed and all I’d caused—inadvertently and intentionally alike.

“At last, I finally get to meet the woman who stole my son’s heart. I never thought I’d live to see the day my eyes beheld the beauty of my only son’s first and truest love.”

Alissa smiled at me as she took my hand in hers… my
blue
hand.

Chapter 35

Wrothdem

(ROTH-dem)

“The past is referred to as a ghost, and that’s the way it should be. I’m sure you’ll agree. Ghosts will only have peace if they remain buried. Same as the past.”

“Jezreel, you can’t expect me to act as if nothing has changed.
Everything
has changed. My son—”

“Will never hear of this,” Jezreel interrupted.

“But how can you be so heartless? You of all people know how this will heal his grieving heart, mend his tattered soul,” Alissa exclaimed.

“His heart and soul have already been tended to,” Markus said. “No point ripping it open only to see it sewn together yet again.”

“But…”

“Think about it, Alissa. Look at Jenevier. How could she live among us? Alastyn need not know what will only destroy him once more,” Margy said.

“Yes, Alissa, Markus… look upon me. Am I not a freak in Angel’s clothing? Is my appearance not so ghoulish that all of Ashgard would hide their children and double their prayers? The good people of this land would demand the halt of all happiness, ceasing the reign of peace and joy they now live under. Hell, forget the fact it all came at
my
loss.
My
sacrifice.
My sin
,” I spat. “I am wholly certain if I walked out that door right now, the sun would fall from the heavens and the birds would go mute. Whatever poor soul cursed enough to look upon me would utterly give up their last breath, collapsing lifeless upon those precious cobbled streets.”

“Jenevier, you know that’s not what Margy meant,” Jezreel scolded.

“Silence, Jezreel. I will not be admonished by you or anyone else in this room. Speak only if you’re without your own sin. Who among you has done more than I for this forsaken layer? We’ve all suffered greatly in our lives. But who has given
more
? Who’s the only one among us denied the happiness you now live every day? Don’t you dare look down on me or try to explain me away. You chose your fate, Jezreel. I wasn’t given the same luxury. I had no choice. Never presume to stand in judgment of me, ever again.”

“You overreact,” Jezreel said. “No one was judging you. We speak only the truth. Each of our hearts breaks for you. But if we all chose to give up our lives for you at this very moment, it wouldn’t change what you’ve become. What you’ve been
forced
to become.”

I released a heavy sigh. “It is as you say. I will rant and rave at my fate. But I will do it when I’m alone. I shall not tarry with you much longer. I have been here less than a day and my secrets have already doubled their truth. I’ll leave your honored company now, for there’s something of great import I must attend. Don’t fret. I’m not going to see Alastyn. I promise to return here before I depart Ashgard.”

I said goodbyes to everyone and gave Jezreel a quick peck on her leathery cheek.

“I
will
return,” I whispered.

She grabbed my iridescent hand with her withered one and looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Trust me, old friend. I will harm none,” I assured her. “I need air and a few words. That’s all. I won’t make a single ripple. Okay? I’ll go out the back door and keep to the skies… promise.”

*****

The wind through my hair brought a much needed calmness to my troubled mind. Looking down upon the prospering little villages and towns gave proof of the rightness of my sacrifice. The glorious castle grew with my approach. The new soul within me fluttered as a baby bird. By the time my toes touched down on the highest tower, it felt like a million butterflies were warring inside me.

The gentle voice came from the window just below the ledge upon which I was perched.

“I felt you coming. I’ve always hoped you would one day return to me.”

“Dante? Is that you?”

He laughed. “If you preferred Dante to Merodach, then yes. I am Dante. Have you missed me, or do you hate me still?”

“Both.”

He chuckled softly. “Will you not come inside?”

“No, I will remain here.”

“Whatever you wish. Just don’t leave.”

“Love you or hate you, I know not. But you have done well. I am proud to see how you’ve flourished, especially the way you’ve shown others how to as well.”

“Gratitude, Jenevier. You do understand that not a single moment of this would have been possible if it weren’t for you. Do you not?”

“Yes, I know that. Nor would it have been possible without you.”

Quietly sitting down, I let my feet dangle over the ledge. I felt the tiny tickle of a warm fingertip brush down the top of one foot. I quickly jerked them back up before I slowly relaxed, letting my feet drop once more.

“Apologies,” he said.

“No need. It merely startled me.”

“So you didn’t mind?”

I laughed. “Of course not.
You
should be the one minding. My feet are filthy.”

“You mean, you haven’t had your soak today? But what if you dry out, Milady?”

We both laughed at the memory, and then fell into silence as so many of those memories rushed back to us. We share a glorious, exquisitely painful past.

“I no longer believe I’m part Mermaid.”

“Truly? And why is that, my love?”

“Have you ever seen a
real
Mermaid?”

“No. I’ve never been so blessed.”

“Trust me. It’s not a blessing. Let’s just say… they’re
not
beautiful.”

He chuckled. “Ahh, but
you
are.”

“Gratitude, Dante.” I was smiling, tears glistened in my eyes. “You always spoke such gentle words to me.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s the main reason you were so hurt when you discovered the truth.”

I didn’t even realize I’d actually started crying, until I sniffed. “Yes, it hurt very much,” I whispered, pained. “To find out I’d been lied to by the one man I had allowed into my heart…”

“Please don’t cry, my love. By the time you learned the truth, it was no longer a lie. I loved you, Jenevier. You owned me. I only ever wished to worship you daily. And that is the way of my heart still.”

“Dante… I loved you, too.”

“I know, dear one. I felt it,” he whispered. “I only learned of love because you showed me what it was. I owe everything to you.”

“I have suffered greatly because of my wretched sin against you.”

“I am truly sorry. I would rather have remained dead than for you to have ever known a moment’s pain.”

I sniffed again. “I believe, on some level, I still love Dante.”

“But not Merodach?”

“Merodach caused me nothing but pain and loss and heartache. Merodach was the man who taught me hate… and taught me well. Dante only brought me comfort and kindness.”

“Yes, you’re correct. Merodach owned a black heart, especially in your regard.” He half chuckled. “Merodach was twisted, my love. Something inside him was broken. Alas, you fixed him. But I will forever be Dante if that will make you stay.”

“I cannot.”

“Why not, Jenevier? Where is it you have to go?”

Soft lips kissed my heel as warm hands caressed my weary feet.

“Please, don’t do that. I have changed. I no longer look like the maid you desired.”

“I know that.”

“How? How could you possibly know?”

“Your feet.” He kissed them again.

“What? My
feet
?”

“Your feet, my love. They glow from within and bring to mind the rarest of gems. If the rest of you is half as beautiful as your feet, I may not be able to stand upright in your presence. Tell me. Do you still have those beautiful golden curls?”

I snorted out a laugh. “Well, sort of.”

“I don’t understand, Milady.”

“I still have all my curls, Milord.” I snickered then and he joined me. “It’s just, not all of them are golden.”

“How is that, dear one? Is it magic?”

“You could call it that. Dante, I have changed. I
am
changed.”

“Your heart hasn’t. I knew your essence was nearing my home. I felt you. Yes, there’s something different. Bigger perhaps. But not changed.”

I laughed. “How can the only man I ever truly hated be the only person whose words soothe me now?”

“Because I not only love you, I respect you as well. There’s a huge difference in the two. I’m not obsessed with you. I’m obsessed with your happiness. And
that’s
the difference.”

I couldn’t respond, couldn’t find the words.

“Will you let me worship you?” he whispered.

“No. I am not God.”

“Will you let me look upon you?”

Again, I was silent. I knew not what my answer should be. I didn’t know who all I could hurt by my appearance alone. I wished words with him. I never expected him to be so changed.

“Can I join you up there?” His whisper cut through my troubled thoughts.

“Dante… Merodach… I’m not certain that’s a very good idea. I do not wish to bring harm.”

“Will you join me down here?”

“No. No one can see me. What if someone walked in? I cannot.”

“Even on my honor? No one will enter. No one
can
enter. The doors are sealed from within.”

I didn’t answer him.

“Do not enter my home if you will be uncomfortable in the least. I will step away from the window if you will but grant me the honor of just lighting upon the sill, letting me gaze upon you. I promise not to touch you.”

“…Very well. But only upon the sill. And you must remain at a distance or I’ll leave here forever.”

“Agreed.”

I listened for his retreating footsteps before I spread my wings and softly glided down to the large windowsill. Dante released a quick gasp. Then his smile lit up the whole castle.

“Why do you choose
that
form?” I asked.

“I thought you would be more at ease if you were with the man you once loved. Not the vile creature you once hated.”

I laughed. “I have learned the hard way not to see with my eyes only. Take your true form, as I have mine. So no walls remain between us.”

His smile remained as vivid as ever when Dante slowly faded and Prince Merodach stood before me.

“My liege.” I bowed.

“Never kneel before me, Jenevier. You are the only one in all creation who should claim such an honor.”

“You flatter me, Sire.”

“No, Milady. I have not the words. You are breathtaking. It’s all I can do to keep my feet fixed to this spot. I want to touch your lovely hair more than I want air in my lungs.”

I sat down upon the sill, inclining my head toward him. Merodach took one cautious step. And seeing that I did not move, he slowly approached me. Gently taking a single pink curl, he twisted it around his finger.

“It’s as soft as it is beautiful.”

I patted the spot beside me. The Prince sat down and tucked my hair behind my ear, showing my sapphire scar.

“May I?” he asked.

“You may.”

His warm fingertips gently traced the outline of my glistening flaw.

“It only adds to your glory,” he whispered.

I leaned my head upon his strong shoulder and sighed at the small moment of splendid peace I’d been granted. Merodach put his arm around my weary shoulders and gave me a little squeeze.

“Do we not make the most unlikely pair?” he said with a smile. “Never in my wildest dreams could I have hoped to be your comforter, Milady.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. My soft laughter slowly turned into bitter tears as I choked out all that had happened to me since the moment he’d placed his mark upon my hand. Merodach’s sorrowful tears dripped upon my head as he held me against his chest, listening intently to every word I uttered between shaky sobs.

“I will never be able to undo all the wrongs I have caused you. There’s not enough magic in all the layers and heaven itself for me to show you how dreadfully sorry I am. Do not hate me for this, tiny Princess, but I frequently thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you’ve endured to make me the man I am today. I owe you everything—my wealth, my happiness, my soul. Jenevier, I owe you my very life. Speak to me now of your fondest wish, your heart’s desire, and see it done. I can never repay you fully. But please give me the chance to present you with some small comfort.”

“You have shown me more comfort than any other being has in years. Not counting the days Vittorio and I spent in my new paradise… this has soothed me more than all your gold could buy. Gratitude, Merodach, for holding me while I cried. Thank you for listening to my story. And thank you most of all just for
caring
.”