Blessed by a Demon’s Mark (11 page)
Beligral’s smile widened as if he could hear the thoughts running through my head.
“I’ll think about it,” I said, wiping the smile off his face. “Until then, our debt is paid.” I turned and walked out.
As soon as I was out of the lab, I slumped against the wall. My skin felt parchment dry after having been in the oppressive heat of the lab. I waited for Ethan to dismiss the demon and gather his supplies. He joined me a few minutes later, looking grim.
“He’s not happy,” he said.
“I don’t care.”
“But you’re free.”
I reached up and touched the smooth skin behind my ear. The mark was gone and I hadn’t even felt it go. “Yeah.”
“Don’t do what he wants.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Kat . . .”
I looked up and Ethan cringed away. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” I said, getting pissed all over again. I was tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. I was my own person, damn it.
Ethan didn’t say anything. He stood by as I tore off my belt and tossed it onto the table. I gave him one last challenging stare, daring him to say something else, and then turned and stalked up the stairs to sulk alone in my room.
12
I struggled to make it through the day without going insane. I couldn’t shut off my brain, even for a little bit. I tried taking a bath, which usually helped clear my head, but all it really did was make me wet. I dried off and caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror.
The old scars were still there. My back was virtually crisscrossed with them, though none was worse than the large scars on my back from where the wolf had gouged me. The scar was still red and angry looking. It ached every now and again, a constant reminder of how close I’d come to death.
I turned away from the mirror and headed into the bedroom to get dressed.
I wasn’t sure what was bothering me the most. What the demon had told me was pretty upsetting, but I could always make myself believe he was lying. I was free of him and never had to go back if I didn’t want to. The same went for Levi and Delai. If I decided not to risk it, nothing was forcing me to go back.
Of course, I doubted I could keep myself from returning even if I wanted to. Levi had shown me nothing but kindness since the day I’d arrived. He helped me overcome my hunger, at least a little bit. I couldn’t imagine him being anything more than the affable big man he appeared to be.
Still, the doubt was there. I hated to admit it, but it was. I was free of Beligral’s mark, yet I wasn’t free of his influence. I knew if I ever wanted to know the truth about Levi, I’d have to go back to the demon, would have to take on another mark.
I wasn’t so sure I wanted to do that.
I refused to think about the demon any longer, and thoughts of the Luna Cult immediately invaded. I wondered how they were faring, wondered what Jonathan was doing. I was still pissed at him, still never wanted to see him again, but I really didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.
I growled in frustration as I finished getting dressed. I had put on my leather, a sure sign that I planned on doing something dangerous the moment the sun went down.
Thoughts of Jonathan brought much of my anger back. He left me with a goddamn watchdog. Jeremy Lincoln might have been sent here under the pretense of watching over Ethan, but I knew better. He’d been sent to
my
house so he could tell Jonathan when I returned.
my
house so he could tell Jonathan when I returned.
Time ticked by and I only got angrier. I kept dwelling on all the bad things that had happened to me; perceived or real, it didn’t matter. It seemed like ever since I returned, everyone had gone out of their way to piss me off.
And then there was Countess Baset.
I’d been hunted before. I was sure I would be hunted again; but for some reason, this one bothered me. Maybe it was because I hadn’t actually killed her lover, Countess Telia, and yet she was still coming after me like I had. She might not know I hadn’t killed her, but damn it, she should have stopped looking for me when it became obvious I was no longer around.
Or maybe I was just sick of vampire Houses thinking they could do whatever the fuck they wanted. Someone should have put Baset down the moment she had fallen from Royal. I should have done it myself.
Maybe I still could.
It was decided before evening. I could feel the cold seeping in from around the window, could almost smell the fresh layer of snow that covered the ground.
The shower was running, but I wasn’t sure if Ethan or Jeremy was in it. Neither man was in the hall, nor were they downstairs in the kitchen as I passed. I continued down into the basement and gathered my weapons.
The smell of coffee percolating assaulted my nose as I returned to the dining room. Ethan was busy in the kitchen getting his evening breakfast started. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye but didn’t look directly at me when he spoke.
“Going out tonight?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
He cleared his throat and looked everywhere but at me. I think he was still pissed about the night before. If it had been me, I probably would have been too.
“You going to the Den?”
“Fuck no.”
He looked startled at that. “Um, then where?”
“Where do you think? I’m going to take care of my fucking problem.”
Ethan blinked a few times, his eyes passing over me. “Okay?”
I sighed. “Countess Baset has been hunting me, as you well know. I’m going to put an end to it. Tonight.”
He choked. “You’re going to what?”
“I’m going to kill her.” I glared at him angrily for making me explain myself. “You know full well what I do to those who think they can interfere in my life.” A thought of Jonathan drifted through my head and I pushed it away.
Ethan looked away and I felt a twinge of regret. I was treating him like shit, I knew. I just couldn’t seem to help myself. Ever since I left Delai, I was angry with everyone, and half the time I didn’t even know why.
“How, uh, are you going to pull this off?” he asked, finally looking at me. He looked concerned. “Alone?”
“How else?” I smiled, hoping it would ease his mind. “I’ll slip in and kill her before anyone realizes I’m there. As far as a lot of people are concerned, I’m already dead.” I thought back to my little escapade at Polaris. I really
hoped
everyone still thought I was dead.
hoped
everyone still thought I was dead.
“But she’s the head of a Major House, isn’t she?” Ethan shook his head. “I don’t like this. You can’t take down a Major House.”
“I don’t have to,” I said. “I just have to kill her.”
He laughed. It sounded half crazed. “You make it sound so easy.” He sighed. “At least go talk to Jonathan—”
“I don’t fucking need him!” I shouted, taking a threatening step forward. Ethan backpedaled into the cabinets. “Ever since I got involved with the Luna Cult, my life has only gotten more complicated. I don’t need their help. I don’t need anyone’s help. I can do this on my fucking own.”
“Okay,” he said, hands held up in front of him like he thought I might hit him. “I’m sorry I mentioned it.”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was taking my anger and frustrations out on someone who didn’t deserve it. Again. I really needed to figure out why I was always so pissed off lately before I accidently killed someone. I’d been nothing but confused since the day I returned, and even that made me angry.
“No,” I said, trying really hard not to scream. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled.”
Ethan lowered his hands slowly as if he was afraid I’d snap at him if he moved too fast. Once he was sure I wasn’t going to bite his head off again, he went about filling his coffee mug.
“I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately,” I went on, feeling the need to explain myself. “We used to be fine with just the two of us. We didn’t need others to help us fight our battles. We should go back to that, just you and I. It’s safer that way.”
“Is it really?” he said, turning back to me. “Is it really safer for us . . . or just for you? I’m not sure I want to be alone again.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. It felt like he had slapped me.
“I understand why you feel like you have to go it alone,” he said. “But I don’t think it’s the best thing for you.” There was a long pause before he added, “I missed you.”
For some reason, the last really got to me. My legs weakened and I leaned against the table. “Yeah,” I said. “I missed you too.”
There was a long stretch of silence; then Jeremy spoke from the stairs. “I’ll call Jonathan.”
And just like that, my rage was back.
“No, you fucking won’t,” I growled, straightening. I glared at him, dared him to disagree.
“I thought—”
“I don’t care what you thought,” I said, advancing on him. Even without an arm, he did good to hold his ground. The Jeremy I’d known before would have cringed and fled. “I’m not dealing with the Cult right now. Do you understand me?”
“The Cult has helped you more than you care to admit.”
I stared at him, so angry I didn’t know what to say. He was standing up to me, defying me in my own home. It was my choice to make. Why did these people think they could tell me what to do?
“Helped me?” I finally said. “You think they’ve helped me?” I laughed. “The Luna Cult has done nothing but get in my way. They’ve nearly gotten me killed more than once. They killed Thomas.” My fangs started to pop through and blood ran into my mouth, further fueling my rage.
Jeremy flinched back and doubt crept into his gaze. “I should call him anyway.” He started to turn away, but I grabbed him by his arm and spun him back around to face me.
“Why?” I said. “Why call him? I’m not going to accept his help, even if he offers it. Besides,” I said, glancing at his side, “what has the Cult ever done for you? They only make everyone’s life worse. Take a look at your arm . . . if you can find it.”
I regretted the words even before they were out of my mouth. Jeremy jerked his wrist out of my grip and stepped back, a wounded look on his face. He stared at me for a really long time before turning and heading wordlessly upstairs.
“Shit,” I said as soon as he was gone. I rubbed at my forehead, a headache coming on.
“You shouldn’t have said that,” Ethan said from behind me.
“No shit.” I sighed. I was fucking everything up and I didn’t know why. My head was so muddled I could hardly think straight. I kept making all the wrong decisions. “I should go apologize.”
Even though I’d been the one to say it, I didn’t move.
I didn’t know what to do. I was making a mess of my home life, ruining any friendships I might have made, and for what? Just because I was pissed off at the world, I had to destroy everything? I didn’t have to be alone. Why was I forcing the issue by being such a bitch to everyone?
I went to the table and sat down. I couldn’t go running off after a vampire Countess with my brain all twisted inside my head. I’d end up getting myself killed.
Maybe that was the point. Did a part of me want to die? Was I pushing everyone away so that they wouldn’t be hurt when I let some vampire take my head?
Ethan sat across from me, setting his coffee mug gently onto the table as if he was trying not to disturb me. “Don’t get mad at me,” he said.
I groaned. “What now?” I said, dreading what he would say next.
“Just promise me you’ll hear me out before you yell at me.”
I looked up and he looked so innocent, so concerned for my well-being, I agreed.
“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “I know we’ve gone over this before, but I really want you to listen and think about what I say.”
“All right.”
“You’re losing yourself.” He took a sip of coffee while watching my face carefully. When I didn’t snap at him, he set the mug back down and continued. “All the death, all the killing, it’s starting to eat you up inside. You’re letting it get to you. It’s making you angry all the time.”
Was that it? Could it really be that simple? “And?” I said, still not sure I wanted to hear any more.
“And I want to help.” He reached across the table and rested a hand on my own. I managed not to jerk away, though I wanted to. “I really think if given the chance, I can find a way so you don’t have to feed. It would take one more thing off your plate, one more thing that is driving you away from everyone who cares about you.”
I closed my eyes. His hand felt so warm, so comforting, it made me want to cry. I’d never end up in bed with Ethan. Just the thought was laughable, but he was my closest friend, my only friend, really.
“I don’t know what you and Beligral were talking about, where you’ve been,” he went on. “I don’t care. But from what I can tell, the place sounds dangerous. Ever since you’ve come back, you’ve been worse than I’ve ever seen you.” He swallowed hard. “And that scares me.”
I clenched my jaw, determined not to interrupt him until he had his say.
“Let me search for a way to curb your cravings. Maybe I can find a blood substitute. Maybe I can find some sort of alternate source that will keep you satisfied without forcing you to kill to get the full effect.” His hand tightened on mine. “Please, let me help you.”
I wanted to object, wanted to tell him to piss off, but instead found myself nodding. I couldn’t keep living like this. Ethan was right. I was losing myself to the vampire in me. I was becoming more and more like the Counts and Countesses I despised.
I couldn’t let that happen.
“I’ll start right away,” he said, pulling his hand away. He sounded happy.
Ethan stood and started toward the stairs leading down into the sitting room.
“I need you to do something for me,” I said, my voice so quiet I wasn’t sure he’d hear me.
He stopped and turned back to face me. “What’s that?”
“Go upstairs and apologize to Jeremy for me. I can’t do it myself right now.”
“Okay.”
“And get his keys. I want to borrow his car.”
Ethan hesitated a moment before heading up the stairs to find Jeremy.
Other books
Bizarre History by Joe Rhatigan
Plenilunio by Antonio Muñoz Molina
I'm Still Here (Je Suis Là) by Clelie Avit, Lucy Foster
THOR by Gold, Sasha
Shadows in the White City by Robert W. Walker
Spook's Destiny by Joseph Delaney
Angry Ghosts by F. Allen Farnham
You'll Always Be Mine by Verne, Lara
Furnace by Wayne Price
Icebound by Julie Rowe
