Blame it on Texas (12 page)

She turned over once again, biting back a growl of frustration. She was pretty sure that Kyle was already fast asleep, but she didn’t want to disturb him just in case.

Clyde gave a small woof and jumped down from the bed, his solid weight hitting the floor with a thunk. He scratched at the door, then turned to gaze at her with his sad eyes.

Shelby pushed back the covers and padded over to Clyde. “You wanna go outside?” She followed him out of the bedroom. He looked back every few feet to make sure she still followed.

He made his way to the back door, tags jingling and toenails clicking against the wood floor. He stopped at the screen door and sat back on his haunches. He whined, raised one paw and threw back his head as if to bray out his frustrations.

“I hear ya, boy.” He whined again, and Shelby opened the door, watching the short-legged dog waddle down the steps.

Clyde trotted over to the dark form slung between two large trees and raised his head to give a little bark.

The sound of Ritt’s voice floated over to her, his words unintelligible as he rubbed the dog behind the ears. Then he lifted the pooch into the hammock with him.

As if of their own accord, her feet carried her down the stairs and across the patchy yard. It wasn’t the easiest thing to keep grass growing in the West Texas heat. It seemed as if Wayne McCoy had long ago given up the effort. Her bare toes encountered dry dirt and shoots of Bermuda as she walked toward Ritt.

“Nice night.” Shelby gazed up at the sky, a billion stars twinkling from between the branches of the trees.

“Yep.”

She sank to a thick ring of grass, no doubt the legacy of watering the trees. She pushed her toes into the dirt under the hammock, a patch most likely worn through from many feet pushing the hammock on nights exactly like this.

“Be still,” Ritt whispered. “Just be still.”

But how could she when he was buried inside of her, hard and throbbing? She wanted so badly to move with him, against him.
 

“Ritt.”

“Shhh…” He pressed a kiss into her hair. “Let the motion take you.”

Shelby swallowed down a moan and tried to relax. “What if someone comes out here?”

She hated the thought, but at the same time it made her want him more, this risk of being caught spurring her desire to greater heights. Ritt rocked against her, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming out his name.

He chuckled, seemingly pleased with himself for being able to push her to the edge of reason while remaining in control of his own.

“Ritt, please…”

He thrust one last time, covering her mouth with his, taking in her strangled cry of pleasure.

Ritt cleared his throat.

Was he thinking about that same warm spring night so long ago?

“You should be sleeping,” he said.

“So should you.”

“I can get by on a little.”

Shelby smiled into the dark night. “Don’t let Delilah hear you say that.”

Neither one spoke, the night filled with other sounds. Nocturnal birds, cicadas and the occasional car from across town.

“Was it so bad here, Shel?”

She wrapped her arms around her legs and propped her chin on her knees. “It wasn’t bad at all.”

“And that’s why you took off as fast as you could?”

“That’s not how it went.”

“Tell me,” he commanded, his voice soft, his face hidden in shadows.

“I really believed that you would be able to get your scholarship back.”

He answered her with a grunt.

“I knew that’s what your parents wanted for you.”

She could barely make out the bob of his head.

“They’re not as…committed as they were back then.”

Shelby let out a small laugh. “Committed. That’s a nice way of putting it.”

The ropes creaked as he shifted to face her, suddenly his expression was clear, remorse and need filled his eyes. “They weren’t as…”

“Committed,” she supplied.

He nodded. “Committed until after Kyle’s accident.”

“So…what? They wanted you to live your life as well as his?”

“It wasn’t like that. He was a kid, you know? One day he was running through fields and breaking windows with baseballs and the next he was half-dead. When they knew that we weren’t going to lose him completely, they changed. They understood how precious life is. How it needs to really be lived.”

“And they agree with how you live your life now?” She hated the derisive note in her voice. “That’s not what I meant to say.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my life, Shelby.”

She waited a heartbeat before responding. “Are you happy, Ritt?”

“Mostly.”

“I guess that’s what really matters.”

“What about you, Shel? Are you happy?”

“Of course.” But there was a too-chipper squeak to her voice that added a note of falseness to her words. “I mean, what’s not to be happy about? I have a great apartment close to the ocean, I have a thriving business. I’m my own boss, and I love what I do.”

“Is that all?”

“W-what?”

He cleared his throat. “Can you tell me one thing? And the truth this time. Why did you leave?”

She sighed into the night. Not wanting to answer, but needing to say the words all the same. “I wanted you to come after me.”

The one sentence could have been whispered and still it would have rung through the night.

“You wanted me to come after you?”

She rocked back, needing some motion to balance all of the emotions lingering from the night. “I know it sounds silly, but I loved you so much. I was feeling a bit bruised after everything. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right.” She wiped the tears forming in her eyes. “I couldn’t do the one thing every woman should be able to. I couldn’t carry a baby. Your baby.” She took a deep breath. “I felt like I let you down.”

“Oh, Shel.” His words were heartfelt and filled with more emotion than she could name. “You didn’t.”

“Then why?” She didn’t have to add the rest. Why did she lose the baby? Why did they have to suffer? Why did their love get interrupted?

“I don’t know.”

“So this was supposed to happen?”

“I don’t know that either.”

“I thought that if I left, and you got your scholarship back, then everything would be okay. But then there was this part of me that also wanted you to come after me. Maybe thump your chest a couple of times, tell the world I was yours, and then we’d live happily ever after.”

He didn’t say anything. Once again the night was filled with bobwhites and crickets.

“When does this pain stop?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think it ever does.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?”

She smiled quietly into the night. “All we can do now is learn to live with it.”

Chapter Eight

Ritt ran a finger under the collar of the pristine white dress shirt and wondered how much longer he had to remain in the monkey suit. A while for sure, seeing as the wedding hadn’t even started.

Craig looked remarkably calm for what was to be the biggest day of his life. He talked to his younger brother who was also dressed for the occasion, full tuxedo, white pleated dress shirt, navy-blue tie. Er, midnight blue.

Ritt pulled on his sleeves and tried to breathe normally, though he was certain the tie was slowly strangling him to death.

From inside the church sanctuary he could hear the murmur of voices, the buzz of anticipation as the guests waited for the wedding to begin. So much hype and pomp and ceremony for what could be accomplished in the justice of the peace’s office in less than ten minutes.

“You ready?” Craig slapped one hand on Ritt’s shoulder, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Wha…yeah,” he said. “I’m ready.”

As the organist played Pachelbel’s
Canon
, the men filed down the aisle and took their places at the front of the church to await the bridal party.

Ritt resisted the urge to tug on his sleeves again, adjust his suspenders, loosen his tie. None of that would make the time go by faster. Or change anything…

“Your hands are like ice.” Ritt rubbed Shelby’s fingers between his palms.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

Ritt couldn’t stop his smile. “What’s there to be afraid of?”

“I don’t know. Everything.”

“You’ve got it all wrong,” he said, still holding her hands in his own, lending her his strength. “This is the perfect beginning, don’t you see?”

“See what?” Her gray eyes were enormous.

“Us…me, you and the baby.”

“In your parents’ garage—”

“It’s detached.”

“We can only stay there until the fall. Then what are we going to do?”

Ritt shrugged. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

She was stiff with tension as he pulled her to him. He lowered his head and kissed her sweet lips. Slowly, her form melted into his. And he knew everything was going to be just fine.

The organist played the first few bars of “The Wedding March”. The guests stood. Craig’s face lit up as Delilah turned the corner and started down the aisle toward them.

Ritt shifted his attention. There was no sense living in the past. He and Shelby, they’d had their chance. They were no longer crossing bridges, they’d all been burned. And last night…?

He’d held heaven in his arms once more.

But it was morning now. And he had to stop hanging on. Last night, their talk. It was good to clear the air a little. Even if she didn’t believe that his parents had paid her mother to take her away. Seven years had passed. What difference did it make now? The deed was done.

“Ritt?” Craig’s voice was a whisper of urgency. “I need the ring.”

“Oh,” he said. “Oh.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little velvet box. Inside was a three-carat diamond, perfect in every way.

What would have happened if he had done that for Shelby? Bought her a diamond, let her walk down the aisle in front of all of her family and friends, instead of hustling her to the courthouse and repeating vows after a court official.

What was he thinking? Three days ago he’d been criticizing the masses for falling into the drivel that made up weddings. Now he was wishing that he had done more for Shelby.

A church wedding couldn’t have changed what happened to them. There were too many other factors in place. His parents and their drive to make him everything that he could be along with all of the potential that Kyle had lost. Her mother and her bohemian ways. Shelby’s hurt. His pride. And the baby.

“You may now kiss your bride.”

Craig lifted Delilah’s veil, and the congregation held its breath as he leaned in to kiss his bride.

A few more minutes and Ritt would see Shelby again. His heart jumped at the thought.

Then reality set in.

They’d had a chance, and now it was gone. She was trying to start again, and he was standing in the way.

“You coming?” Craig’s brother nudged Ritt’s arm and pointed to the door that led to the fellowship hall where the reception was to be held.

“Yeah. Right.” He followed the wedding party through the double doors, automatically looking for Shelby.

Part of him craved seeing her while the other part breathed a sigh of relief that there was no sign of her.

Only her cakes. They were spectacular, beautiful and elegant. He had to tamp down the surge of pride that had a smile quivering on his lips.

But seeing her talent was just another nail in the coffin that housed their marriage.

Regardless of last night, regardless of the love that he still held for her, he knew what he had to do.

Shelby propped her hands on her hips and took one last critical look at the cakes. They were beautiful, even if she said so herself. Given the circumstances, she was double proud of herself.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Today definitely felt like the morning after. She had managed to dry her tears and leave the bathroom long enough to say a quick good morning to Ritt’s brother Kyle. He’d grown up while she was away.

Kyle had always been a kind and gentle soul. He wore his heart on his sleeve, unlike his brother whose every emotion was guarded as if it were gold. But Ritt hadn’t always been that way.

Shelby shook her head. Once she’d said her greeting, she begged off any more visiting, citing a headache as she hurried to the church to give the final touches to the cakes.

Heartache was more like it.