Blackmailing the Virgin (Alexa Riley Promises #2) (6 page)

“
D
id you want something bigger
?” Calder asks, putting his finger under my chin and making me turn my head to look at him. I swear, every time he touches me my skin tingles. It’s like he has some special power over my body. I hate and love it. I’ve never felt such passion in my life than I have in the past two days. Calder can’t seem to keep his hands off me, and I can’t seem to find the will to try to push him away. Even in my sleep, I seek him out.

I’ve just been pushing my food around my plate for the last five minutes. This was not how I thought my wedding night would go. I guess this isn’t how I’d seen any of this going—rushing down the aisle to marry a man who was blackmailing me into it. For the sake of our child. Not because he loved me. I’d tried to tell him we could raise this baby together but we didn’t have to be together. That had set him off.

I just shake my head and turning my head back to my food. I feel like the last forty-eight hours have been at hyper speed. Now I’m back in New York in Calder’s penthouse. Married. Calder wasted no time getting us back to New York and getting us a marriage license. I’m shocked he had the patience to wait the required twenty-four hours. He’d even thought about just flying us to Vegas, but I’d talked him out of it, telling him I was worn out and just wanted to sleep.

“We can plan something bigger if you like. Do a second wedding,” he tries again. He is the most confusing man I’ve ever meet in my entire life.

He can go from sweet to boiling with anger in the blink of an eye. I’m starting to notice it only happens with me. With most everyone else, he seems to be calm. Put together. Like he’s in total control. But with me, I make one mention of us not being together and it’s like the world is ending.

He’d lost it the one and only time I’d tried to reason with him on the plane back to New York. It had then exploded into a fight, with him reminding me he would never let me go. Then he made me tell him every detail there was to know about my friend Mark. Every. Single. Detail.

It was clear Calder was not one to share his toys. Ever. I couldn’t find the will to asking him about Sidney. I didn’t think my stomach could handle it. So I didn’t even try. What would be the point? No matter what he said, I couldn’t leave.

My father had taken the news well, and I didn’t want to throw another log on the fire I’d already made, one that would end the career he’d worked so hard for.

“I don’t like to be the center of attention. A small wedding with just us and my father was perfect.” I turn to look at him again. “See, you don’t even know me. If you knew even a little about me, you would have known that.”

He smiles, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss on my lips. “Oh, I know. Everyone says you’re shy, but you don’t seem to be that way around me. In fact, you seem to be full of fire.”

I can’t even fashion a retort because it’s true. I’m all kinds of out of sorts when I’m around him. What’s even stranger is, I like it.

“But trust me, Felicity. I pay attention to everything you do. Like when you get nervous, like you did walking across the stage at graduation, you tap your index finger against your palm. Or when you get turned on, you push your hair behind your ear and let your finger trail down you neck.” He leans in again like he’s going to kiss me “Or just when you’re about to cum, you let out these little puffs of air. I’m already addicted to the sounds. I’m not even sure I could cum without hearing them now.”

He turns, going back to cutting up his steak and puts a piece in his mouth. I just stare at him, shocked by what he said.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? Let’s not start this marriage off on the wrong note. We can make this work. We could be perfect together.”

I look back down at my food. I want to laugh. Start out on the wrong note? This whole relationship seems to be one wrong note after another. We’re a freaking mess. He blackmailed me. How is this marriage not starting on anything but a wrong note? To top it off, he only married me because I’m knocked up. It’s the only reason he even came for me.

I hadn’t heard from him in months. Not a call or anything. It’s not like it would be hard for him to have found me, even less so after I saw the stupid file he had on Mark, which he got himself in under an hour!

But as pissy as that all makes me, he’s right. I don’t want to fight with him. Hell, a giant, pathetic part of me is happy he forced us together, because he was right that night in his hotel room when he made me tell him I loved him. Because I do. I have from that very first kiss. He flutters into my every thought, whether I want him to or not. Even if I make a conscious effort not to think about him, it still proves that I’m thinking about him.

“I just didn’t see my marriage starting this way. I wanted…” I trail off, my emotions getting the best of me. Calder stands abruptly, the chair hitting the floor. He picks me up, making me squeal, and sits me on the kitchen’s breakfast bar so we are at eye level with each other. His hands land on either side of me, caging me in.

His movements are abrupt and fast, but his eyes are soft. Filled with concern.

“Tell me. Tell me what you wanted. What were your plans?” His voice is just as soft as the look on his face.

“I thought you made our plans already. What does it matter now?”

“You want me.”

I narrow my eyes at his cocky words.

“Hell. I wanted you, too. Why else would I come crawling into your bed?”

“Because the word is I’m easy.” There I go again, not holding anything back.

“I was a dick. I was pissed and jealous. Mad at myself for not finding you sooner. I hated the thought that there could have been men before me who had the chance to steal you from me. I was even more pissed because I thought you might move on to someone else. I’m fucking sorry for that. I should have known. I could taste your innocence that first night I kissed you on the balcony. There was no faking that. I felt it deep, but it just seemed too good to be true. I hadn’t had anything sweet in my life in years and there it was again. I was fucking shit-scared it would be taken from me.”

“That was really sweet.” I have to admit, when he throws these little tantrums over my attention or being jealous, a little part inside me gets a thrill from it. I know part of him cares.

“Tell me.” He leans in a little more as if he can’t wait to hear what I have to say. “You want to play your violin? I won’t stop you. Your own studio? I’ll build you one. Just tell me what you want, sweetheart, and I’ll give it to you.”

“I wanted to be in love when I got married. Then have babies and all that. Everything is just backwards.”

“You do love me,” Calder growls.

I just roll my eyes.

“Say it.” I can’t count how many times he’s made me say it now. He never says it though.

“I love you,” I tell him. I know he won’t stop until I say it, and it’s true. I just can’t bring myself to say it on my own. Maybe because he doesn’t love me.

His body visibly relaxes. I almost feel like he might be starved of love. It reminds me how little I know about him. Calder has told me nothing of his family. I only know his parents both died seven years ago because I read it online during my internet stalking of him.

“Let me show you, baby. Don’t fight me every step. I can talk till I’m blue in the face and say sorry over and over until I’m hoarse for the way I acted, but let me show you. Give this a chance. You’ll see I’ll give you anything you could ever want. Will you do that?”

“Okay.” What do I have to lose? It’s clear he isn’t letting me go.

He leans the rest of the way in, taking my mouth in a deep kiss. One of his hands comes to my belly, rubbing the little bump. Then he slides me off the counter. My legs go around his waist as he carries me down the hall and into the bedroom, laying me on the bed.

I think he is going to make love to me again, but he slides off the bed and removes my shoes before disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with a bottle of lotion in his hands.

“I read that it will help with swelling if I rub your feet regularly.”

“You read?” I can’t help but giggle.

“I couldn’t sleep last night. I might have stayed up reading as much as I could. I know nothing about babies and pregnancy. I was an only child.” He sits down at the end of the bed, pulling my feet into his lap.

“Do you think we should move? The market is good right now. We could sell this place. Unless you want to keep it. It’s close to your father. Or maybe we could sell this and get one in your father’s building and one out of the city.”

“It’s your place. I’m okay with whatever.” I hadn’t really thought about where we should live. But there really hasn’t been much time with as fast as everything has happened.

“I think if you want to do your own little studio, we should have something here in the city and some place outside.”

“I’m not in a rush to do anything with a studio, to be honest. It was just an idea I was toying with because I needed to do something, and I love kids. Now I kind of want to focus on this one.” I rub my belly, making him smile. “Besides, this is your place. It’s really up to you what you want to do.”

“It’s ours,” he corrects. “We’re married now.”

“I know but—”

“Did you sign a prenup? I don’t remember signing one.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. I have a trust, but it’s nothing compared to what Calder is worth. Mine is a few million. He’s worth billions. It’s probably why my father hadn’t even brought it up, shrewd lawyer that he is.

“Why didn’t you make me sign one?”

“Because it doesn’t matter. You’re never leaving me.” He says it with such certainty.

“You’re so sure. How can you be so certain?” I wish I was that way, that I believed that, but the hurt is still there. The months he’d left me alone. I’d wonder if he could do it again.

“My mother and father were together for years. I want a marriage like theirs, and we’ll have one.”

“You never talk about them.” He never talks much about himself at all.

“I lost them a few years back. The only real family I had. It was hard.” He looks up from my feet and glances at me. “But I have a family again, and I’ll do anything to keep it.”

I
stop playing
my violin when I feel the thump in my stomach. A smile spreads across my face. That one was a kick for sure. We found out last month that we are having a little boy. I keep thinking I feel him, but I’m never quite sure. That one was a kick for sure, though. I put my violin back in its case and set it on the bench.

Calder and I knew we would be moving soon, but he still insisted on setting up an area for me to play in the penthouse. I always leave the door open. His home office is right across from it, and he likes to listen to me play when he’s working.

He hardly goes into his work office anymore. His administrative assistant brings him what he needs, or he’ll have us both stop over after we have lunch. He keeps telling me he’s making up for the lost months. I feel bad that I might be keeping him away from work but not bad enough to tell him he should go in. I like having him around and soaking up this time we have, just the two of us before the baby gets here.

I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I can’t seem to get enough of it. I’ve never wanted to have attention showered on me, but when it comes to Calder, I can’t seem to get enough of it.

Since I told him I’d give us a real try, everything has been perfect. He still hasn’t told me he loves me. It stings, but with the way he treats me, I can’t complain. He dotes on me and tends to my every need. Sometimes it’s actually a little much.

I found his stupid baby book the other day and tossed it in the trash. I had to hide a giggle when he searched for it for an hour last night. That book was driving me insane. I make my way out of the room and step into his office, rolling my eyes when I see a new baby book sitting on his desk. I shove it behind one of the throw pillows on the little sofa he has in here. I often lie on it and read while he works.

I head back to the bedroom and pop my head in but don’t see him there. He wouldn’t have left without telling me. Now that I think about it, I don’t actually think we have been apart since we moved in together. Whenever he leaves, I go with him, be it grocery shopping or looking at new homes.

When I hear a noise down the hall, I head for the entryway. The sight in front of me stops me in my tracks. Calder has his arms wrapped around a woman. When she turns her face, I can see it’s Sidney. The breath leaves my lungs, and I stand there shocked.

We haven’t talked about her since my father brought her up at dinner. I didn’t want to. I don’t know how long their affair went on, or if they were together those months I was away at school before he’d found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to know. I was going with the whole ignorance-is-bliss thing, but I knew he hadn’t been with her since we got married. It just isn’t possible, but here she is in our home, both of them with their arms wrapped around each other.

She pulls back from Calder when she catches sight of me, making Calder turn and look, too. I just stand there. I can’t seem to form words.

“I thought I felt the baby move,” I finally say, then turn and practically run down the hallway.

I hear Calder yell my name, but I slam the bedroom door behind me. As I sit down on the edge of the bed, I feel the baby kick again. When the door opens, I’m surprised to see Sidney standing there.

“Hear me out?” she says, raising her hands. “I promise it’s not what you think.” It’s then I see her face. It’s blotchy, like she’s been crying. I immediately feel bad for her. I know what it feels like for Calder to break your heart.

She walks over and sits next to me.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I feel like I know you already.” She gives me a half-smile, then looks at my belly. She reaches out to touch it but stops short. I just nod. Since I got pregnant I’ve noticed people like to touch your belly. Many don’t get the chance because Calder literally growls at them. It’s kind of adorable and makes me giggle every time.

“He’s so happy. I haven’t seen him like this since before his parents died. You’ve really brought him back to life. I could hear it in his voice every time we talked on the phone. I saw it on his face when he opened the door today. Thank you.”

I can see how much she cares about him. It’s all over her face. “You knew his parents? He doesn’t talk about them much.” I’ve tried to get him to a couple times, but I can see the flash of pain on his face anytime I bring it up, so I’ve stopped. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose my dad.

“I pretty much lived over there with them. My parents are difficult. Calder and I pretty much grew up together. His parents knew I was,” she pauses for a second, “gay. Mine, not so much.”

“You two have never been…?” I find myself asking. Her face scrunches in disgust.

“No. He’s like my freaking brother. It’s how it’s always been. He was protecting my secret. Because we knew when my family found out, they would lose it, and he’s been helping me hide it, even going so far as pretending to be my boyfriend.”

“I’m sorry if I came between you guys.” I’m starting to think I’m the reason why she might be here crying. Something happened. I’m also guessing Calder has been making her stay away because he didn’t want to share the secret that wasn’t his to tell.

“No, it was time. I had to come clean to my family. I knew how they would react, but it still hurt. I wanted to tell Calder I finally did it. He was the first person I thought of. It’s really just been him and me for the past seven years.”

I reach out and grab her hand. “Well, now you’re about to be an aunt,” I tell her. She smiles. I know Calder doesn’t have any family besides the baby and me, but I realize she is his family, too. I’ve been wanting that from him. For him to tell me more about his past, and now I’m seeing it and I’m going to embrace it.

“He told me you were sweet.” She laughs. “In fact, he couldn’t shut up about you.”

“When?” I can’t help but ask.

“I knew something was up after New Year’s. He’d been gloomy since he lost his parents, throwing himself into work nonstop, but I could tell there was something else. Being around him was like being around a freaking bear. One night we were playing video games, and he drank a little much, and I seized the opportunity to get him to spill the beans finally.”

I scoot a little closer. “What did he say?” I ask, making her laugh.

She looks over at the door and I follow her line of sight to see Calder standing in the door. “Tell her.”

“That he would do anything to get you back. That you were his one, like his dad always told him his mom was his one.”

“You said that?”

Calder just nods.

“Said he wanted to give you time. That he’d fucked up. Shocker.” Sidney laughs at her own joke. “That he tried to reach out, but you wouldn’t respond, so he figured you needed more time. Then he kind of snapped.”

“You didn’t reach out.” I shake my head. No phone calls or anything.

“I emailed you every day,” he says, a confused look crossing his face.

“You did?”

“You didn’t get them?” He steps into the room. “You didn’t get them,” he repeats, but this time it’s a statement.

“The university got a whole new email system over Christmas break after the semester ended. Everyone got new email addresses. The old one remained active, but I never checked or used it.” All this time I’d thought wrong. That he’d only come back because he knew I was pregnant, somehow.

“I thought you came because you found out I was pregnant. That's why you wanted to get married. Wait.” I run back through my mind. “You asked me to marry you before you actually knew, didn’t you? Oh, my God.”

Calder walks over to the bed and drops to his knees in front of me.

“I’m going to leave, you guys. I’ll call later, and we’ll do dinner. I can tell you lots of funny stories,” Sidney says as she exits the room, leaving us alone. Calder cups my face.

“I came for you. The baby was a bonus.”

“What made you finally come? I swear, I never saw your emails.”

“I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I’d been in darkness so long, and that day I came up onto the balcony you lit my life back up. I tried to stay away at first. But my mind kept buzzing with the idea of us being together. Having a family again. I wanted it bad. Then I fucked it up. Sent you running. I couldn't get you to respond, and your dad said you were graduating, and I knew I had to go. Had to see you.” He looks down, rubbing my baby bump and then back at me. “I should feel bad, but I went there with the intention of blackmailing you. I thought you were ignoring me. I just thought if I could get my hands on you, I could make you fall in love with me. I just had to get you back first, and I was willing to do just about anything to do that. Anything. Knew I’d already fucked up a ton. That you probably hated me. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

His forehead drops to mine when he’s done with his confession.

“You didn’t have to make me fall in love with you. I’ve been in love with you from that first kiss. I love you.”

His mouth takes mine in a hard kiss. His tongue pushes in and both his hands dive into my hair. When he pulls away, we’re both breathless.

“You know that’s the first time you’ve said that without me making you?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve been keeping it from me?”

“You’ve never said it.”

He pulls back to study my face like I’m crazy. “I’ve never told you I loved you?” he asks like I’m making it up.

“Trust me. I would remember that.”

“Fuck.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Of course I fucking love you. I can’t even breathe when I’m not near you.”

My heart flutters, and I feel the baby kick again.

“The baby is moving,” I tell him, bringing his hand to my belly. I watch as awe takes over his face.

“We made that baby. Our first night together. The world knew we had to be together and made sure we’d always be tied to each other.”