Black Sheep (Rawkfist MC Book 1) (15 page)

Court

J
ustice is plenty feisty, but she’s no
fighter. I don’t need her to be one, and I certainly prefer her non-violent
nature to Becca’s psycho one. Seeing her with a fat lip though makes me wish a
tiny part of Justice possessed a vicious nature.

“Nice shirt,” I
say when I can’t say what I’m thinking.

Talk of killing
Becca isn’t something a man should say aloud especially in a room full of women
giving him the stink eye. Well, Justice isn’t. She smiles at me from behind her
icepack.

“I thought it
was fitting since she saved my awesome ass today.”

Printed on an
oversized tank top are Journey’s snarling face and an upward middle finger. I
see the real life version in the kitchen, cooking what smells like chili.

“I heard Journey
beat the ever loving shit out of Becca and her friends,” I say, grinning at the
thought of my ex getting her ass handed to her. “I don’t think they expected
that.”

“No, they were
whining about bar rules or some shit. Journey don’t care about no damn rules.” Justice
begins to laugh before wincing in pain. “As fun as the entire thing was, I wish
my face were made out of something more shock resistant.”

I smile at her
comment, but the cold part of me capable of violence wants to track down Becca
and make her go away permanently. Despite her beat down today, I know she’ll
stir up trouble again. That’s what she does.
That’s all she does.
Trouble is her addiction. A sickness she uses to torment even those who love
her most.

“Don’t,” Justice
says, placing my hand on her stomach. “You’re thinking stuff that doesn’t need
to be thought. Just let it go.”

“Becca won’t
let it go. She doesn’t know how.”

“It’ll be okay.
She wants to control you and Felix. I’m a threat to her, so she tried to make a
point. She failed.”

“She won’t give
up, Justice. I’m telling you that as a fact.”

“Well, then
we’ll deal with her crap later. Right now, I’m happy to have you paying
attention to me. I’m very greedy that way.”

“I could stay
over or bring you to my place.”

Justice studies
me. “Out of pity? No, don’t answer since it doesn’t matter. I want your
attention. I don’t care if you only give it to me out of guilt.”

“I’d kiss the
shit out of you right now if your mouth wasn’t like this,” I say, caressing her
lips with my thumb. “

“You could give
it a try,” she murmurs, balling up a handful of my shirt and tugging me
forward.

I kiss her as
carefully as I can, but her bottom lip is twice its normal size and she
flinches in pain when our mouths meet.

“Do you need
pain meds?” I ask, cupping her face and staring into the bluest eyes I’ve ever
known.

“No, Mom gave
me some. Poppy gave me the ice pack. I’m a lucky duck to have such a wonderful
family.”

Journey snorts.
“I think the Vicodin is kicking in.”

“I love you,” Justice
tells her sister. “You are so brave and smart.”

Fighting
laughter, I kiss Justice’s forehead. She sounds a little stoned now, but as
long as she’s smiling, I think I can keep my temper under control.

For years, I’ve
fought the urge to deal with Becca in the same way that I deal with club
problems. If she were gone, Felix could live with me. Astrid could raise
Becca’s two other children without their mother wasting their welfare money on
her partying. How many people would benefit from Becca’s disappearance?

I hate thinking
such thoughts. Killing meth dealers and violent pimps is something I do without
a second thought. I never care, even if I probably should.

With my child’s
mother, I pretend to care, but deep inside, I know I don’t. I let her live because
I want to believe her life is worth more than the pimp’s. I don’t believe it
is, though. Becca is toxic, and people like her need killing to protect others.
Hell, in reality, I only show her mercy because I’m afraid Felix would hate me
for taking away his mom.

Justice watches
me for a long time. At first, I suspect she knows where my head is, but then I
realize she’s too out of it from the pain meds. She’s watching me because she’s
happy I’m with her. Nothing more complicated than that.

I sit next to
her even after she dozes off on the couch. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve
ever known, and my problems are dragging her down. If I can’t kill Becca, I
ought to walk away from Justice.

I won’t, of
course. Even the thought of giving up this motor-mouthed beauty makes my heart
hurt. I’ll never find anyone else as amazing as Justice. If I were a great man
with unrelenting honor, I’d do her the favor of ending things. I’m not great or
perfect, and Justice wouldn’t let me walk away. She’s threatened more than once
to stalk me if I dumped her.

“Dad’s here,” Journey
tells Christine a half hour after Justice dozes off.

“I’ll be in my
room,” she says, snapping for Hal to follow.

Poppy sits on
the floor with her school books and a cat in her lap. She’s watching me, and I
know she’s been doing so for a long time. I refuse to acknowledge her, and she
finally gives up on the subtle route.

“Jared won’t be
happy with you.”

“I’m not dating
him, so I don’t care.”

“Isn’t he like
your master in the biker gang?”

“That’s not how
it works, but I suspect you already know that.”

“You’re no
fun,” she says, leaning against the wall and opening a book. “Your
ex-girlfriend’s vagina smells like sewage.”

“I wouldn’t
know since I haven’t gotten around it in nearly a decade.”

Poppy shakes her
head, clearly irritated by her inability to piss me off. As obnoxious as she
can be, she’s an amateur next to Becca, who’s made it her mission to fuck with
me for over a decade.

Behind me, Journey
opens the door for Jared and warns him to keep his voice down since Justice is
sleeping.

“She’s drooling
too,” Poppy says in a normal loud voice.

Jared stands at
the end of the couch, looking at his daughter before his gaze begins drilling a
hole in my back. I finally turn and make eye contact.

“We should talk,”
he says.

“Busted,” Poppy
whispers, never looking up from her book.

Ignoring her, I
walk outside with Jared. He kicks at the ground and shoves his hands in his
pockets as if he’s working hard to keep his temper in check.

I watch him and
try not to laugh. I don’t know why, but his reaction cracks me up. He’d
probably seem considerably more intimidating if he could say any of this crap
to Justice. As long as he’s scared of his non-violent, a hundred and ten-pound
daughter, I can’t piss myself in fear.

“This isn’t
acceptable,” he finally says.

“I can’t
control Becca. There’s only one way to deal with her, and no way does Joe give
me the green light to off a woman.”

“He’s old
school that way.”

“Aren’t we all?
It’s not like anyone in the club is lining up to kill women.”

“No, but women
can be dangerous. Your ex sure as hell is.”

“Journey beat
the shit out of her. I’m sure you heard that part too, right?”

Jared struggles
against a smile. “Well, I heard she handled herself, but I don’t know how bad
she actually beat them. Three against one ain’t much of a fair fight.”

Crossing my
arms, I glance back at the house where Hal now barks.

“I won’t
pretend I’m happy with this situation. What can I do, though? I couldn’t even
fuck up Becca as bad as Journey without ending up in jail. Becca would call the
cops in a minute if I so much as raised a hand to her. She loves having the
power to mess with me. With Journey, she’ll lick her wounds and plot her next
bullshit.”

“There's got to
be a way to deal with her besides burying her somewhere.”

“She’s nuts.
You know that, and I know that. Everyone knows that. It’s why people give her a
wide berth. I keep hoping she’ll do something stupid in another place and get
the law called on her, but Becca’s not suicidal. She knows she can act like an
asshole in Tumbling Rock because no one here will stop her.”

Jared runs a
hand through his hair. “As long as you and Justice are together, Becca will
keep running at my daughter.”

“Let is go,” I
grumble before turning toward the house. “Justice and I are together. That
ain’t changing no matter what you or Becca or anyone else thinks, says, or
does.”

“A man takes
care of those people important to him.”

“Yeah, so I’m
going inside to take care of Justice.”

Inside, I find Justice
sitting up and staring at Poppy.

“She’s stoned
,” Journey says to me. “I don’t think we
should have given her an entire pill.”

“I’ll take her
to bed.”

“I bet you
will,” Journey says, snickering as she peers out the shades to where Jared
stands. “Is he coming back inside?”

“I don’t know.”

Journey and
Poppy share an amused look. They’re happy people and always smile when ordinary
folks would rage or sulk. Even Justice’s swollen lip and glazed eyes are
amusing to this family.

I pick up Justice,
who wipes the drool from her swollen lips. “I like you.”

“I like you
too.”

“It’s Hallmark
time over here,” Poppy says to Journey.

They laugh at
us, but I’m more interested in having Justice stretched out on her bed.
Carrying her down the hallway, I nudge a cat out of my way before shutting the
door. Once I lower Justice on the bed, she smiles.

“I got in a
fight today.”

“I’m going to
stay the night.”

“I know. You
need me to comfort you.” Justice reaches for me and pats my head. “So
vulnerable.”

Grinning, I
kick off my shoes and turn on the TV before handing her the remote. She flips
through every channel before settling on an old movie.

“Black and
white movies are like history lessons,” she babbles before instantly falling
asleep.

I take the
remote, change the channel to sports, and relax next to her limp body. No
matter what Jared thinks, I belong with Justice. In a perfect world, I’d spend
every night with her while Felix slept safely down the hall from us. No Becca
bullshit or Jared guilt trips. Just the three of us living like a normal family
despite not being normal people.

Justice

B
y the time I wake up from my drug-induced
slumber, I can barely remember Becca or the barbecue wings. I do remember my
mouth pain. In my dream, a car ran into my face. I wake up and immediately reach
for my swollen lips.

“Be careful,”
Court whispers, resting next to me.

His hand takes
mine and kisses the knuckles. I blink for a long time before I catch up to how
we’re in my bed. My brain replays the fight at Telly’s bar, and how I didn’t do
much more than get smacked around and fall on my ass.

“How do you
feel?” he says still whispering.

“Like I got hit
in the mouth.”

“I can get you
more pain meds.”

“No. I think
I’d like to remain conscious especially with a sexy slice of manhood stretched
out in my bed.”

Court kisses my
cheek and then my forehead and then my nose. He wants to kiss my mouth but
hesitates.

“I’m glad you
stayed,” I tell him when he only watches me.

“I don’t want
to be anywhere else.”

“You’re upset.”

“Wouldn’t you
be pissed if your ex-boyfriend punched me?”

Recalling
Eldon’s hippie-like qualities, I can’t imagine him doing Court much harm.

“I get your
point but don’t be upset. I’m awesome. You’re in my bed. I have my hand under
your shirt. What’s there to be upset about now?”

Court glances
down at where my nails graze his warm skin. “Your dad wants me to dump you.”

“Are you trying
to get him in trouble?” I ask, cocking an eyebrow.

“No. I’m doing
a preemptive strike by telling you before he does.”

“Sneakiness is
an underrated quality in a boyfriend.”

Court runs his
fingers through my bangs. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I know. I
wouldn’t let you anyway. Do you know why?”

Court smiles
without answering.

“I love you,
Courtland Bayer.”

His expression
doesn’t change. In fact, his face freezes, and I suspect he’s searching for an
exit strategy. Rather than run or stammer a non-answer, he presses his lips
against mine and gently kisses away my frown.

“Don’t brush me
off,” I say as soon as I can breathe.

“I’m not. I’m
kissing you.”

“Because you
don’t want to say the words?”

“I love you. I
loved you yesterday, and I love you right now, and I’ll love you tomorrow. I
have no problem saying the words. I just wanted to kiss you first.”

“Oh, then,
let’s go back to the kissing.”

Kissing is only
the tip of the sexy iceberg. Court needs more reassurance than I do. He wraps
his arms around me tightly, thrusting deeply as if desperate to remind my body
who owns it.

I hunger for
the distraction his body provides. The fight today feels like a dream, and I
want to forget about Becca. In my room, I can’t see past Court’s sexy dark eyes
or possessive touch.

After we get
dressed, I feel claustrophobic in the house. Court and I walk outside to where
we stroll around the five acres Christine owns.

Court
remains in an edgy mood even after two vigorous
humping sessions. He finally stops walking and takes my hand.

“I feel like I
ought to kill her for you,” Court says, and his anger startles me. “Isn’t that
how a man handles a threat to his woman?”

“I don’t know
about killing threats. Maybe that’s how they roll around here, but in Indy, we
call the police and let them sort shit out.”

“No one calls
the cops in Tumbling Rock. It’s the golden rule.”

“Well, you
can’t kill Becca.”

“If I could, I
would,” he says, pressing my hand to his chest. “I would do it in a second to
protect you.”

“She’s Felix’s
mom. I understand, and I don’t want you to kill her anyway.”

A frustrated
Court runs his hands through his hair. “I do things for the club. Violent
things. I don’t feel anything good or bad about those things. With Becca, I
want her to pay. Not only for hurting you but for hurting Felix and so many
other people. I can’t do it, though, because Felix will hate me one day for
taking her away. People always turn the dead into saints.”

I consider what
he’s saying about both the club and Becca. I knew he had some use for the club.
The job at the storage units was a cover. Clearly, the Rawkfist guys weren’t
paying his bills as a form of charity.

“I had a math
teacher in sixth grade,” Court says, taking my hand again as we begin walking.
“He was a real sonuvabitch. Moody as fuck, he would go days without teaching us
anything. If you asked for help, he’d yell at you. Then he’d give us tests we
weren’t ready for and yell at us for failing. The fucker made me hate math, and
that was the only subject I was any good at.”

I smile at the
thought of Little Court wanting to get good grades.

“Well, I was
never a genius at it or anything,” he says after his silence lingered. “I
wasn’t in the gifted math classes, but it was the only class where I could get
A’s and B’s. I was never good at anything. Not sports. Not school. I only had
math to give me any accomplishment. It was a small thing, and I worked hard
because I knew I could actually do it. Then that asshole ruined sixth grade for
me. I never did as well at math afterward either. Once we fell behind, I
couldn’t catch up. Anyhow, that’s not my point.”

“You had a
point? I thought you were just babbling like I do all the time.”

Court smirks at
me. “The fucker died at the end of my sixth-grade year. Everyone knew he was an
asshole. Everyone knew he was a bad teacher. Everyone knew, but they talked
about him like he was a saint once he died. He’d never done a fucking thing
wrong in his entire fucking life.”

“Man, you’re
still pissed after all these years.”

“Fuck yeah. He
was an asshole who never got what was coming to him. Most of the assholes in my
life eventually had bad things happen. That still pisses me off.”

“You don’t want
Felix doing the same saint stuff with Becca.”

“He knows she’s
a bitch right now. He understands that more than I do since he has to live in
the same house with her. I think he hates her most days. If she died, he’d
start only remembering the good stuff. He’d find ways to excuse the bad. He’d
turn her into a victim. It’s what people do.”

“He’ll be a
teenager soon, so you’re looking at him lashing out for every slight anyway.
Man, I hate teenagers.”

“Were you
horrible?”

“The absolute
worse. Well, that’s the way it seemed until Poppy hit thirteen and the world
shuddered in terror.”

Court smiles
and glances back at the house. “Felix likes Poppy. Not in a gross crush way but
like she’s a cool family member.”

“Poppy is
horrible to most people, but she’s pretty sweet with her dweeb friends and now
Felix. I guess they bring out her kinder side. She said she thought if you and
I were to stay together for real that a judge would probably want us to have
custody even with your record. I told her to mind her own business, but we all
know that won’t happen.”

“I’m not with
you as a way to look good to a judge,” he says as if I’d ever suspect him of
such a con.

“Well, duh,
Court. If you wanted to pull that move, you could have done it long ago with
plenty of other women. You’re with me because I’m an amazing catch, and you
have great taste.”

Kissing me,
Court forgets about my swollen lip. I relish the taste of him and forget about
my discomfort. Love is a powerful thing.

“This is where
I want to build a house one day,” I say once his lips leave mine. “Right here so
my kids can walk to their grandma’s house. Do you think it’s weird to want to
be so close to my mom?”

“No. I lived
the block away from my mom until she died.”

“I wish I could
have met her. I’d thank her for raising such a fine man I can enjoy in and out of
the bedroom.”

“I’m sure she’d
appreciate the compliment.” Court glances around at the open land. “This is a
nice spot for a house. Away from the road. Close to your family.”

“Lots of space
for a kid to run around,” I say, hinting before realizing subtlety isn’t my
strong suit. “If we stay together, we’ll live here, and I’ll want Felix to live
here too. I’ll want us to be a family. I don’t care about Becca’s crap, or that
raising a kid is hard. I love you, and your kid owns a slice of my heart too.
I’m not dumping this on you to make you…”

Court kisses me
again, shutting up my attempt to be rational. He loves me. I love him. Why make
anything more complicated when we can’t know our future?