Black Sheep (20 page)

I needed my light to rid myself of all the shadows threatening to kill me.

I flew past Nate and Gill and toward the exit of The Blind Tiger, and I did so with only one thought on my mind.

The demons had taken over. The black had returned, making me even worse than I was before, and I wouldn’t be able to make it stop until I was with Nicole and her hands were on me calming me down.

I jumped in my car, the engine coming to life, and I drove over the speed limit through town and straight to Nicole.

If I killed him, which I was hoping I did, I’d be going to prison for a long time. And if that was going to happen, then I wanted one last night with the woman I loved.

Nicole

A DECISION WAS
made the moment I walked into the house after leaving Tyson’s apartment.

I needed to sell the house.

Brian was having issues staying there.

I was having issues staying there.

We hadn’t even entered Mom and Dad’s room yet.

Not to mention, I couldn’t afford the maintenance on the place. The bills were piling up, and I knew it wasn’t going to be long before I was drowning even deeper in the crazy.

I’d figured out that Tyson was doing the lawn care, which I’d had to put a stop to. It also meant, either I’d have to deal with the acre the house was on, or I’d have to pay someone to do it for me, which I couldn’t afford.

Either way I looked at it, the house needed to go. It was sad since we had so many amazing memories there, but I felt like the bad memories were holding us back—weighing us down—keeping us in a miserable state of grief.

I sat at the kitchen table and waited for Brian to come home from school. He tossed his backpack on the table as soon as he got home.

“Hey,” he said, out of breath from the walk from the bus stop. “What’s up with you? You look funny.”

He turned away and dug through the refrigerator for an afterschool snack.

“I’m okay, but I do want to talk to you about something.”

I was nervous.

What if Brian thought I was disrespecting Mom and Dad’s memory by selling their house?

What if he freaked out on me about it?

Brian and Tyson were all I had left in the world. I didn’t want either of them pulling away from me.

Grabbing a bag of chips and a soda, he set everything on the table across from me and sat down.

“Okay, what’s up?” he said around a mouthful of chips.

My eyes scanned his young face. He was basically the perfect mix of Mom and Dad. As long as I had him in my life, I’d always have them.

Swallowing my nerves, I picked at my nails.

“What do you think about selling the house?”

His eyes went wide with my words, and he stopped chewing. “Are you serious?”

Biting my bottom lip, I nodded.

“It’s just, neither of us likes to stay here,” I started to explain. “We can’t even go in Mom and Dad’s room. Honestly, this place is kind of expensive to keep up. I start a job Thursday, but I worry it won’t be enough to cover everything.”

I swallowed again, afraid to keep going. “I don’t know. I think maybe we’d do better in a smaller place. What do you think?”

He swallowed his food and took a sip of his soda.

“Honestly?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yes! Honestly. I want to know how you feel about this. I don’t want you to hate me, Brian, but I just don’t know if we can cut it.”

He nodded and swiped at his nose.

“I think it’s a great idea,” he said, shocking me. “I hate it here now. I mean, I love it because it was our home, but it doesn’t really feel like a home without Mom and Dad. I never want to be here because well … they’re not here.”

Tears rushed to my eyes, and I stood from the table to go to him. We hugged, and I smiled through my tears a bit realizing my little brother had really grown up over the last few weeks.

It wasn’t like he had much of a choice, losing his parents, but I was proud of him and the maturity he was showing.

“Then it’s settled.” I sniffed. “I’ll call a realtor tomorrow.”

THAT NIGHT, WE
had hotdogs and french fries for dinner. And once Brian had his homework done, he played Xbox until he couldn’t keep his eyes open. I wasn’t much for enforcing a bedtime since he wasn’t having any issues getting up for school in the morning, but the minute that became a problem, things would change.

I stayed up later than usual, looking for different realtors and getting an idea of house prices, but soon, my eyes were fluttering closed, and I knew I needed to get some sleep, as well.

I climbed from Dad’s recliner and turned off the lamp beside me. As soon as the lamp turned off, I heard the front door open and close.

Smiling, I moved toward the foyer. Only Tyson ever came in without knocking, and I was glad he was there. I was already dreading sleeping in my bed alone. We’d only spent the night together twice, but I was getting used to him being there—holding me—making me feel safe and secure in his arms.

“Hey, you,” I said, taking the corner and expecting his smiling face, but that wasn’t what I got.

Instead, Tyson was standing there, and he looked terrible. Dried blood splattered across his face and shirt, his hair looked as if he’d been pulling on it, and his knuckles were busted.

“Oh my God, what happened?” I asked.

He didn’t respond.

He marched across the foyer, his heavy boots echoing across the hardwood floors, and he pulled me into his arms. Burying his face in my neck, he breathed deep.

I held him to me as he shook, his entire body quaking.

“I think I killed him,” he said into the side of my neck. “I’m pretty sure I killed him.”

Pulling back, I cupped his cheeks and forced him to look me in the eye. “We talked about this. You did what you had to do. I don’t care about your past, Tyson, I only care about you.”

He shook his head, his wide, unblinking eyes full of dread. He looked as if he were in shock.

“No … Needles. I think I killed Needles.”

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind us, I took him in under the bright lights of the room.

His dark skin was pale and pasty, his pulse shaking the side of his neck with his racing heart.

“I don’t understand. Who’s Needles?”

He stared at the space above my head and didn’t even flinch as I started to peel his ruined shirt from his body.

“He’s the one who hurt me. The things he did to me …” He stopped.

His body folded in, and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Shhh,” I soothed. “It’s okay. I’m here,” I whispered.

My mind went back to the night when Tyson confessed he’d killed his father. I thought about the things he’d said. I thought about him telling me about his father’s dealer and how he’d used Tyson for payment.

I didn’t ask any more questions as I peeled the rest of his clothes from his body and turned the shower on for him. He didn’t stop me as I tugged his jeans and boxers off, not caring that I could see his scars clearly in the bathroom lighting.

“The police should be here soon,” he said in a daze. Then he looked me in the eyes and cupped my cheeks. “I just wanted to see you one more time. I needed to get to you before they came and took me away.”

Gripping his busted hands with my own, I placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m here. I’ll never leave you. We’ll get through this together.”

Stripping, I climbed into the shower behind him, and he stood with his head down as I soaped his body and washed away the remnants of another man’s blood.

The water gathered around our feet, tinted red, before escaping down the drain.

I washed his hair, and he closed his eyes, enjoying my fingers on his scalp. When I was done, he leaned his head back and rinsed the shampoo from his hair. While he was doing that, I let my eyes wander, taking in his beautiful body and the dips and cuts of his muscles.

My eyes moved over the tattoos, taking in the colors and swirls until I was at his navel. I followed the trail of dark hair there, moving lower until I was finally getting a look at the parts of him that were always hidden.

He was large and beautiful, and I wondered how he was able to put something so huge inside me. Then he started to get hard before my eyes. The more I stared, the harder it became.

I looked up to find him staring back at me.

“I like the way you look at me,” he said.

Water was running down his face, dripping from his plump lips and begging me to lick it off.

“How do I look at you?” My voice was raspy and deep.

He moved closer, pulling me to his body, our slick, wet skin sliding against each other.

“You look at me in amazement.”

“That’s because I think you’re amazing.”

His eyes soften, and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his lips. His hands slid down my body, heating me from within and turning my center into liquid. And then his lips were on mine, tasting me and the shower water that dripped from our mouths.

I worked my hands up his solid chest, feeling the rough patches that I knew were scars covered by ink, and then I linked my arms around his neck.

He lifted me, pressing my back into the cold tile of the shower. His thick hardness pressed against me, rubbing my sensitive nub as he moved his hips slowly back and forth.

“If I’m going to go to prison for murder, I want to feel you one more time.”

I nodded, wrapping my legs around his waist and seeking the tip of him out until I felt it pushing against my entrance. He held back, kissing the side of my neck and teasing me past the point of insanity.

“Tyson,” I breathed, rubbing harder against him. “Please.”

His lips hovered over mine once again, teasing me with tiny tastes until he was kissing me harder. Then he thrust up and planted himself deep inside me. Our sighs mingled, the sensation of him buried inside me feeling much better than it had the first time.

I controlled the urge to dig my fingernails into his back, and I held on as he took control of my body, driving himself into me in a perfect rhythm that sent me over the edge within minutes. Covering my cries with his mouth, he swallowed them, his own low moans mixing with mine.

He whispered my name when he came and planted soft kisses on the side of my neck.

“You’re mine,” he breathed.

“I’ve always been yours.”

“AND THEN WHAT
happened?” I asked.

We were lying in bed talking as we waited for the police. Tyson was sure they’d be knocking on the door any minute, but the minutes passed, and the knocks never came.

“I just kept hitting him. It’s like I couldn’t stop.”

I held his hand in mine and softly ran my fingers over the bandages I’d applied to his knuckles.

“It’s okay, Tyson. We’ll take care of this. You’ll just have to tell them what happened. You’ll have to explain why you did it.”

At that, his body went stiff.

“I can’t. I don’t even want to think about it, much less talk about it.”

“I know, but one day, you might. And when that day comes, know I’ll be there, holding your hand the entire time.”

He smiled over at me, his eyes settling on mine. I moved into him, snuggling into his side as he held me and softly ran his fingertips up and down my spine. It didn’t take long until I fell asleep in his arms.

The night remained silent, and the knocks never came, but I was woken up once in the middle of the night by Tyson, who couldn’t help but go for round two.