Black Keys (The Colorblind Trilogy #1) (45 page)

The prince didn’t reply to me. He looked back out the window for a second, sighed, then turned around and took the two or three steps that separated us and picked up two sugar cubes, putting them in the cup before stirring it with a teaspoon. Then he took his cup of tea and moved back to where he’d been standing a minute ago. No words. At all.

Oh-kay…

I pressed my lips together, disappointed that he seemed to not really want to talk to me, but I wasn’t going to give up so soon. I really wanted to talk to him.

I poured myself my own cup of coffee, picked it up and went to stand beside him. Out of the window, I was able to see a part of our bedroom window, and when I looked down, it was the beautiful garden I’d grown to like a lot; its bright green was almost the same as the prince’s beautiful eyes.

“Uh…is it okay for me to drink coffee, Doc?” I smiled, hoping to lighten the atmosphere. “I feel fine.”

“You answered for yourself,” he said sternly, not even glancing my way, and then sipped his tea.

Ouch!

I shook my head slightly, but didn’t comment, trying to act as if it wasn’t so obvious that he wasn’t fond of my presence. I took a sip of my hot coffee and gazed at the sight in front of me, though I wasn’t really enjoying it, not with what was going on around me. Um…
beside
me.

When he was finished with his tea, he went and put his cup on the tray, and I followed suit, thinking of something else to talk to him about. I really hated that he was ignoring me this way. I hated his silence; I wished he would tell me something, anything – even yell at me. It was seriously annoying.

“Can we talk, please?” I asked him as he was about to go back to his spot in front of the window.

“I don’t want to talk,” he said, still avoiding my eyes–or even my direction entirely.

“I’m not used to that from you,” I said, surprising myself with my use of the words ‘used to,’ but I recovered quickly. “You’ve always talked to me when something needs explaining or to be discussed.”

He turned his head toward me and then offered a one-sided smile that didn’t look like a smile at all, more like a sneer, but not really a sneer at the same time.
Ugh!
“I’m not in the mood for talking,” he said and then looked back out of the window again. His words reminded me of all of the times I’d replied to him with the very same words when he said he wanted to talk to me, and it didn’t feel so good.

Everything in me told me to just let it go and let him be and simply go back to my room, but I still didn’t do it. I didn’t want to leave him, I wanted to talk with him. “Why don’t you just yell at me and tell me that you’re mad at me and just let me have it?” I asked in frustration.

I thought he would seriously start yelling at me after that, but he didn’t. He was really calm when he said, “I don’t happen to cry over spilled milk.”

Huh!

“Oh, I thought you didn’t cry at all,” I challenged, feeling stupid for speaking so childishly.

“You’re right, I don’t cry at all, and I won’t be doing it over spilled milk,” he replied coldly, frustrating me even more.
Freaking spilled milk!
“What happened, happened. Talking about it won’t turn back time.”

I looked down, embarrassed maybe. He was right, but…I didn’t like for us to be like this. Don’t even ask me why, because the heck if I knew. “Are you mad at me?” I whispered my question.

His silence was his answer.

“Please reply.”

“I am,” he replied, and his answer, though expected...it hurt. “For putting your life in danger,” he continued, and my stomach fluttered. Was that really why he was mad? “It almost broke my promise.”

Oh…
that
.

The hurt was back.

Still don’t ask why.

Still didn’t know the answer.

“Was that–all...” the question simply came out, “because of your promise?”

“Why else would I be?”

“I thought that…maybe you cared for me.” I just couldn’t hold it in.

The prince turned around so he was facing me, with a look I didn’t get on his face. I could read confusion, but there was something else I just couldn’t find a word for. “Why?” he asked.

“Why what?”

“Why would you want me to care? Because I’m a toy you’d like to play with?” A hint of hurt was lacing his voice.

“Why would you say that? I don’t think that of you!”

“Do you really want me to count?” he asked, but answered at the same time, saying with his question that it was more than one time that I’d made him think I thought of him as someone I could fool. “We had a deal, Princess.” Him calling me ‘
Princess
’ again, and addressing me when he talked, was like a breath of fresh air and a cool breeze on a hot and sunny day. I even wanted to smile, but it wasn’t the best time to do so. I just listened to him talk, glad that he was finally doing so.

“I don’t understand why you would do that? Why would you escape? Was I treating you badly? Was I allowing
anyone
to treat you badly? I promised that no one would ever lay a finger on you. I promised that I would never harm you in any way. Why would you put your life in danger just to run away from me?”

I felt my throat closing as I listened to his words, looking at him, not knowing what to say. So I said nothing.

“We agreed that you would stay here and we would pretend we were happily married for six months and then you would go. I thought you wanted to save Janna’s life? And for your information, your nephew’s or niece’s as well! If you didn’t want to, why did you tell me you were okay with it? Why? Why fool me? And then jeopardize your life that way?” He pressed his lips into a tight line, his eyes glowing with anger, but a controlled anger. “Just one thing I
really
want to know more than anything: I told you all about the secret tunnels. You
knew
that one of them ended very close to the airport and a car was covered there ready to be used in case of any emergency. Why didn’t you take that tunnel? Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to betray you that way!” I shouted, tears blurring my vision.

The truth was, I did think about it, but I thought that if he’d trusted me that much, I shouldn’t violate that trust and use it for my benefit. It wasn’t right to do so, and I couldn’t do it.

The prince looked taken aback by my yelled declaration, keeping his eyes locked with mine for a few moments, then shook his head. “You confuse the hell out of me, Princess,” he said in a low voice. “Most of the time I think I understand you, but then you do or say something and I just…you confuse me,” he repeated. “You made a deal with me to stay here for six months, and then you escape. You said you would help cover for my sister to save her life, and then put it in danger along with yours. You knew about an easier escape route, but you didn’t use it, so as not to betray me even with everything you did. You told me to pretend that the kiss I shared with you never happened, and then you came and kissed me, just like that.” He let out a sarcastic chuckle, “Or was it a part of your
‘Let’s make a fool out of Mazen’
plan?”

“I wasn’t trying to fool you,” I said in a low voice, and he gave me a look of disbelief. “I really wasn’t,” I insisted. “You’re right, escaping that way was a mistake, even if I didn’t care for Janna–which is not true, by the way–I should’ve thought about the baby inside of her, not because it’s my blood, but because it’s a baby, innocent in all of this. I just wanted an out, I wanted to go home, the thought was consuming me to no end. When I saw an out, I couldn’t not take it. I wasn’t thinking about it from all angles, I admit. You could say I was too caught up in the motion, I wasn’t really thinking.”

“I’ve noticed,” he said, and I frowned. “I don’t mean that in a bad way, but really, you just don’t think about a lot of things, and I keep trying to understand you or why you do it, but...” He shook his head.

“Like that day we went out, you brought back roses for Mona to apologize for yelling at her. I told you to keep our sneaking out a secret, and you did, to a point. You just didn’t think of the fact that Mona would wonder where you got those roses from–which, by the way, we only grow that kind in the stable garden, and certainly not in our sunroom. She would eventually put two and two together and know we went to the stable.”

Oh, snap!
I really didn’t think about that! His words made my eyes widen.

“You did it with good intentions, that I’m aware of, so it’s fine. Lots of things you did were the same way, but this?” He threw his hand in the air in an ‘I don’t know why’ motion.

“I just wanted to be safe again!” I tried, my voice low and my eyes looking away from him.

‘‘Safe?” he said in shock. “You weren’t safe in here?”

I didn’t reply.

“I know with everything your brother did you were not feeling secure, and I know my mother didn’t make you very comfortable with her words, but...I promised you, Princess. I promised to keep you safe. Did I do anything that made you not trust me? Why can’t you trust me? Just give me one good reason why!”

A tear escaped my teary eyes, and the truth escaped my trembling lips. “You’re a Muslim. I can’t trust Muslims, that’s why.” I turned away, my back facing him, I couldn’t risk seeing the look of hurt I knew would be there, caused by my words. I’d never liked the sight of him being hurt, and didn’t think I ever would.

“Huh? Seriously, Princess?” The hurt was truly evident in his voice. “Because I’m a Muslim? How judgmental and prejudicial could you really be?” His voice raised a bit, and frustration hardened his tone, along with…distaste. Might even be disgust. “First you call me a filthy Arab, then you say you can’t be friends with a Muslim, and now this?”

I couldn’t take it, I wanted to tell him, I wanted him to understand. I couldn’t stand the fact that he would think I was like that for nothing: I had my reasons. I wanted to tell him…but, the words wouldn’t come out. They just wouldn’t.

“You don’t know anything about me,” I said with a shaky voice.

“And I did tell you I wanted us to get to know each other, but you didn’t want anything to do with me, of course–because I’m an Arab Muslim.”

A battle was happening inside my head. I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to explain myself; I hated being judged so much. He didn’t know the truth, or why I was like that towards him and his people…or race, for that matter. But I’d never talked about those things. Only a handful of people knew of my story, and I didn’t know if it was a good idea to share such a thing with him.

“You were away from the palace for only half an hour before you were brought back. Only half an hour. Do you realize what that means? It didn’t work. For one reason or another, it didn’t work,” he said. “It would’ve never worked unless I was involved in it. I would’ve made your departure successful and
safe!
Had you told me you weren’t okay with staying here for those six months, I would’ve found a way out. I would’ve still found a way to save my sister, one that didn’t involve you. I would’ve come up with something. I’ve done it before, and I would’ve done it again,” he paused, “But you lied to me, making it even more difficult to try and cover it up.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks; the pain in his voice all the while he was speaking wasn’t lost on me. The silence lingered, and the tension that was surrounding us grew thicker, and when I heard his frustrated and impatient huff, I just had to tell him. Everything.

“My parents–God rest their souls–were very busy people,” I started, trying really hard to control the shaking in my voice. “They barely ever had any time for me or my brother, but when they did, they made it the best: always making up for the time they spent away, always doing their best to let us know that they were busy like that only for our sakes, to provide us with everything we might ever want and more–and we got used to it. We accepted it.” I knew that the prince was probably wondering why I was telling him that, but he didn’t say anything, he just let me talk, and talk I did.

“When they were away, they didn’t leave us to be raised by a nanny, they left us with our grandparents, my mother’s parents. They were loving and caring more than I could ever describe. I loved my parents dearly, but I loved my grandparents even more, way more.” I sighed. “Joseph was always a huge bother for them: pranks, tricks, troubles, you name it. My parents had to send him off to a private school, leaving me alone with my grandparents since I was only five years old, and I think their love for me was doubled after that day. After all, I got all of their attention.

“My grandmother was my life, and my grandfather was my soul. Though he was working, he always made sure to drive me to school every single morning. When he would stay all night at his office until morning or when he would go in earlier than usual to work, he would have his driver take me to his work place, and then he would take it from there and still drive me to school himself.” I swallowed thickly, my heart thumping hard in my chest, the worst memory of my life nearing my head, and the feel of an approaching panic attack threatening to consume me.