Black Jade (40 page)

The water coalesced into another John, in Celestial Form and holding Seven Stars.

‘Yes, you are,' he said, and ran the sword through the Jade Emperor, then through the John next to me. They disintegrated like demons into black essence.

He spun and swung to take Jade's head off, and the world around us changed to something entirely different — a small windowless hall, empty of people — then everything twisted and collapsed.

‘Totally ruined,' Jade said with exasperation. ‘Those robes took
weeks
to make and they're gone. The schedule is wrecked, we don't have time for the martial arts demonstrations, this is a
disaster
.'

‘It would be more of a disaster if she hadn't been quick enough to call me,' John said. ‘Even controlled by the robe and heavily dosed with opium, she had the wit to contact me through my element.'

‘She's still asleep,' the stone said. ‘Have you cleared it all?'

‘It may take a while to work its way out of her system,' John said.

I opened my eyes. I was lying on the living room couch in our apartments in the Northern Heavens. Jade, John and my stone — in Chinese form, but instantly recognisable — were standing over me. I was under a blanket in my underwear.

I shot upright. ‘I'm not the real Emma!' I grabbed John's sleeve. ‘John! You have to find her, she's out there . . .' It all flooded back to me. ‘Did I just marry a demon?'

‘Did you say the vows?' the stone said.

‘Stone!' I leapt up to hug it, and hesitated. I looked around at them. Were they the real Jade and John and stone?

‘Are you
sure
this is the real Emma?' Jade said, studying me.

‘It's her,' John said.

‘Jade,' I said.

‘Ma'am?'

‘Have you printed out Western wedding vows for the Jade Emperor?'

‘What? You want
Western
wedding vows? Why did you never mention that before?'

‘Yes. I want the Western vows,' I said. ‘To love, honour and obey Lord Xuan.'

John stepped back, shocked. ‘They're still controlling her; it's more than just the robe and the drugs. She would kill herself before vowing to obey me.'

‘I wanted to, believe me,' I said.

He summoned Dark Heavens.

‘No, wait, I was testing you,' I said. ‘The . . . whatever they were . . . demons, copies, they made me vow to
obey
you. It was like a dream . . .' I wiped my eyes. ‘Is that really you?'

He put his sword away. ‘Go ahead and check for yourself.'

I opened my Inner Eye on him. The Xuan Wu spread before me, vast and dark and cold. ‘Okay, that's you. Nothing else could possibly be that ugly.'

‘It's absolutely her,' John said.

I turned back to the stone. ‘Is that really the Jade Building Block?'

‘It is,' John said.

‘Where the hell have you
been
?'

‘I don't know.' The stone smiled wryly. ‘Big chunks of my memory are gone; you'll have to help me.'

‘How much do you remember?' I said.

‘We don't have time for this,' Jade said. ‘They're all waiting in the square outside Dark Justice. Explain after the wedding.'

‘Emma,' John said, ‘
did you say the vows?
'

‘Uh . . .' I struggled to recall. ‘Yes, I did, but under duress.'

‘She married BJ,' the stone said.

‘BJ was under duress as well,' John said.

‘No, she wasn't, my Lord; she seems in control of all her faculties,' the stone said. ‘Here is Gold.'

Gold hurried in. I stared at him; he was less than two-thirds his usual height, only just over a metre tall.

He stopped and quickly turned away. ‘So sorry, ma'am.'

‘What?' I realised I was in my underwear. ‘Oh, come
on
, Gold, you're a stone.'

‘Well?' John said.

‘There is precedent,' Gold said without turning towards me. ‘Empress Wu had more than one husband. It's permissible. We'll dissolve the marriage with BJ later. Just go and do the wedding stuff and we'll sort it all out when it's finished.'

‘What happened to BJ?' I said, pulling the blanket around me. ‘I'm covered up.'

Gold turned back to face me. ‘We have her restrained.'

‘Six did more than experiment on her,' John said. ‘She was one of theirs all along.'

‘No, they're just controlling her,' Gold said. ‘She can't be one of them. She's my
child
. We'll find a way to free her. We have to.'

‘Talk about this later. Wedding now!' Jade said.

‘Where's my robe?' I said.

Gold made a soft sound of pain. ‘They extracted elemental gold from my stone self and used it as thread in the robes. That's what was controlling you.'

‘That silk never came from the Dragon, did it?'

‘No,' John said. ‘I panicked when Jade tapped on the door — you and the robes were gone. I thought you'd made a run for it. We looked everywhere for you, and I was ready to break things when you spoke to me through my element.'

‘We don't have time to talk about this, we have to move!' Jade said. ‘I have your armour here, Emma. Change to Celestial Form and I'll help you put it on.'

I changed to Celestial Form wearing my jeans and shirt, and tossed the blanket aside. John changed as well, into his black silk robes and usual dress armour with the Big Dipper on the breastplate.

‘Jeans?' Jade said to me as she lifted the dress armour. ‘You can't wear jeans! Can you summon a robe?'

‘No,' I said. ‘This is it.'

‘I don't have anything big enough!' she said with exasperation. ‘My Lord?'

‘I don't do clothes for others, Jade, you know I don't. I can barely do clothes for myself. Can you do a Mountain uniform, Emma?'

‘I don't know . . .' My jeans and shirt changed to the plain black pants and jacket. ‘Yes.'

‘Quickly,' Jade said, helping me with the dress armour. She fiddled with the buckles. ‘We have to hurry.' She stepped back. ‘Close enough. Let's go.'

How do you know you can trust Gold and the Building Block if BJ is a demonic agent?
I said to John as we went out of the Residence into the courtyard.

The Jade Emperor himself cleared them. He is waiting at Dark Justice.

I nodded.
Okay, I suppose we can trust him. I married BJ?

The stones were held in demon shells, the same way that child was. They were completely controlled by the demons.

* * *

All the family were waiting for us: Simone, Frankie, Martin and Yue Gui. Simone and Frankie rushed to me and hugged me. Martin and Yue Gui patted my shoulders.

‘It's really you,' Simone said. ‘I was so worried! You were gone for
hours
.'

‘Hurry!' Jade said. ‘Everybody into position.'

The dull day from my dream was gone and bright sunshine made the Palace around us shine. The crystalline Celestial sky was clear of clouds; a lovely mild winter's day.

Lucy Chen, the Wudang weapons master, rushed into the courtyard with curlers in her hair and a floral dressing gown over her underwear, her portly figure making the gown bulge.

‘Good, you found her,' she said.

‘Master Chen, what
are
you doing?' Jade said.

‘This is important,' Lucy said. ‘Start now or after the ceremony?'

‘Now,' Yue said. ‘Go.'

Lucy's curlers disappeared and her long black hair fell over her shoulders. She bent forward and tossed it back into a mass of thick curls, then grew into a gorgeous young woman, nearly as tall as John, in a floating red robe. Her hair lifted into small buns on top of her head, and gold pins appeared in it. She held her hand out, Yue tapped her fingertips, and Lucy disappeared.

‘What was that about?' Jade said.

‘It's a competition,' I said. ‘The one with the most . . . conquests at the end of the party wins.'

‘But doesn't Princess Yue have the advantage?' Jade said. ‘I mean, she's a . . .'

‘Use your eyes, Jade; Lucy's a turtle as well,' John said. ‘She's my weapons master, of course she is.'

‘Conquests?' Simone said. ‘Seriously?'

I shrugged. ‘Turtles.'

‘Dragon hunting,' Yue said with grim pleasure.

‘Hurry,' Jade said. ‘Dark Lord and Lady first, then Prince Ming and Princess Yue, then Princess Simone and Prince Franklin. Swing in from the north, land on the cleared space in front of the hall, and stop to let the photographers do their thing. Then up the stairs to the Jade Emperor. Ming and Yue to the right; Simone and Frankie to the left. Any questions?'

Nobody replied.

‘Then go, and I'll see you in the hall! And you two.' She glared and stabbed her index finger at us. ‘The Jade Emperor says that if you do a single thing to upset this ceremony, he will free me from your service and you'll have to find someone else to do your books.'

John didn't reply; he just raised his head, took my hand, and floated up and over the north side of the Hall of Dark Justice. I checked behind us: the Number Ones and the children were flying in formation, Frankie grinning like an idiot as he held Simone's hand.

John surrounded us in a bubble of glittering water as we topped over the Hall of Dark Justice and floated to land in front of it. The staff had opened the accordion doors that made up the walls of the hall, revealing its full interior — something that had only happened twice in the hall's lifetime. The Jade Emperor sat on his throne on a dais inside, clearly visible high above the crowd.

We drifted down to the cleared area and John dismissed the water. We stood and waited as the rest of the entourage landed, and gave the photographers plenty of time to take pictures of us. Then John turned, took my hand, and floated us over the central ramp, carved in black marble with a representation of himself in
True Form. We landed at the top and knelt in front of the Jade Emperor. Simone and Frankie knelt to our left, and Martin and Yue to our right.

The Jade Emperor stood to address the crowd.

I had a sudden feeling of déjà vu: he was about to praise us interminably again. At least I didn't feel dull and tired.

I opened my Inner Eye on John again, reassuring myself that it was really him.

Yes, it's really me,
he said.
And you are really you, and this whole thing is a circus.

‘The Dark Lord and the Dark Lady are two spirits joined in ways that many of us can only aspire to,' the Jade Emperor said. ‘Their chi auras combine and strengthen each other, and their devotion to the Celestial is beyond reproach. When two spirits are so complementary, the wedding ceremony is unnecessary. They have been working as one for many years already.' He nodded to us. ‘Xuan Wu and Emma Donahoe. Formalise this bond before all the Celestial and allow us to celebrate your union.' He turned and sat on the throne. ‘Don't bother about the tea business; this really has nothing to do with me. You two do your stuff and then we'll all have a big party and about time.'

‘Majesty!' Jade said from her spot behind the throne, raising the multi-paged schedule she was holding.

‘Rings!' the Jade Emperor said.

We rose and turned.

‘Come on, Frankie,' Simone said, and took his hand to guide him up to us.

They gave us the twenty-four-carat pure gold wedding bands, large enough for our Celestial Forms. I checked the one Frankie had given me. It was correct: it had my name etched in English and Chinese around the interior. The one Simone had given John had his name on it too; we would wear rings belonging to each other. Mine was engraved with a snake around the outside; his was engraved with a snake and turtle twining around each other.

‘You first,' he said.

I took his hand and slid the ring onto his finger, then looked up into his eyes. His face was so full of adoration that I was speechless.

‘If either of you say “Words aren't necessary”, I will
murder
you!' Simone hissed in a stage whisper. ‘All the Heavens are watching, so say something
awesome
!'

I hesitated, smiling, then said, ‘I love you, and I will be proud to call you husband. You're the kindest, most generous and noble man I have ever met.'

He took my hand and put the ring on my finger next to the Jade Building Block. ‘I am proud to call you wife. You are courageous, brilliant and full of integrity. You are my only one.'

He gazed into my eyes and we shared a moment of true joy that we were finally here.

‘I declare you two finally married, Emperor and Empress of the North, and if you do not kiss each other
right now
this whole thing will be ruined,' the Jade Emperor said.

We smiled and grabbed each other and kissed, ecstatic.

The crowd cheered and clapped below us.

We pulled back, and John smiled at me. ‘Yue Gui,' he said.

Yue concentrated and a sword box appeared in her hands. She approached us and gave it to John.

The cheers petered out in the square, and changed to the murmur of voices as people asked each other what was happening.

John opened the box, took the sword out, and gave the box to Yue, who took it and stepped back. John held the sword horizontally in its scabbard out to me with both hands.

For a moment I thought he'd managed to take the Murasame from Frankie. Then I realised that this sword was new, and the tsuba — the guard — had a representation of a snake on it. As the ebony scabbard moved in the sunshine, a textured pattern of scales shifted in colour over its length.

‘A gift for you, my Lady Empress. This is the Scales of Wisdom, a blade that took the Mountain forge nearly fifteen years to create. I handed the specifications to them the day you agreed to be my bride. Bear it with valour and as a symbol of my undying love for you.'

I took the sword and removed it from its scabbard. It was a masterpiece of forging: the blade had been folded in such a way that the different grains of the steel formed a rippling finish.

‘Exquisite balance,' I said. ‘Sharp and deadly, with energy spun through it to make it a more effective demon killer. What
a beauty.' I turned it over in my hand. ‘Snakeskin wrap on the handle, tortoise-shell tsuba . . .' I glanced up at him. ‘No
way
.'