Bittner, Rosanne (34 page)

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Authors: Wildest Dreams

BOOK: Bittner, Rosanne
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Goodman swallowed, and tried to stand his ground.

"It ain't right—"

"Shut up, Goodman!" Joe Parker spoke the words.

"The boy can't be totally blamed, and if it was any of
our
kids, we'd want to try to help them, just like Luke's doing. Any mother would want to have her son back. Give them a chance, and let poor Mrs. Fontaine enjoy the fact that she has found her son."

"I'm with Luke," Carl Rose spoke up.

"So am I," Sheriff Tracy put in.

Will and several others voiced their support.

"Which one of you is gonna string up a fourteen-year-old boy in front of his own ma after she's been prayin' to find him for ten years?" Will asked them.

They all looked sheepish, and a couple of women quietly dabbed at their eyes.

"You all remember one thing," Will said then. "That there boy is
white!
No matter how he looks now or what he's done or how he's been raised, he was born white. He's one of
us!
He's a victim of our trouble with the Sioux just the same as those who've lost their lives. Luke and Lettie, they come here before most of you, been through hell to help settle this land. Let them take their son home in peace."

The crowd began to disperse. Luke climbed back into the wagon to be with Lettie. Luke's men took hold of the reins to Will's, Luke's, and Lettie's horses to bring them along, and Will perched himself beside Henny in the wagon seat and snapped the reins over the rumps of the mules pulling the wagon. As the wagon lurched forward, Henny looked back in wonder at Nathan, remembering a beautiful, blond little boy who had been playful and loving, always smiling. She remembered how he'd loved to chase her cat, Patch, who had died several years ago.

Lettie was remembering, too... a smiling, gentle child who had once brought her a bouquet of little purple flowers, smiling proudly because he'd made his mommy smile.

White bear opened his eyes, lying still for a moment to gather his thoughts. As his vision focused, he turned his head to see a little red-headed girl staring at him from the doorway. She immediately turned and ran.

"Mommy! Mommy! He's awake!"

White Bear had no idea what the words meant. He only knew he was in a very strange place, lying on a bed so soft it was almost uncomfortable. For years he had slept on robes on the ground. He did not like this bed, nor did he like this strange dwelling, hard walls all around, odd structures of wood sitting about. He could see light through openings in the walls, but when he looked up, there was no sky! There was not even a hole, like in the top of a tepee.

Panic began to build inside him. He felt closed in. How could he commune with the Great Spirit in a place like this? The Great Spirit would never find him in here! He had to get out. He started to rise, but pain pierced his side, and he realized only then that his hands and feet were tied to the posts of the soft bed.

He heard some kind of commotion somewhere below him, then pounding footsteps, rising, coming closer. "Hurry!" he heard a woman saying. "He's in the guest room."

A herd of white people entered his room then. He strained at his ropes for a moment. Then he saw her... that woman with the dark red hair and green eyes... the one who said she was his mother. She was the first one through the door, followed by the Crow Indian who knew the Sioux tongue. Then came the tall white man with the blue eyes, followed by a string of young ones. They circled his bed and gawked at him as though he were a ghost.

The woman smiled, touched his arm. She said something to the Crow man.

"She says to tell you she is sorry about the ropes. If you would promise not to run away, she will untie them. She wishes to know how you are feeling."

White Bear looked around at all the staring eyes. Surrounded by whites, and by walls! He hated this place! "Well enough to get away from here," he answered Runner. "I do not like these walls. I want to see the sky. The Great Spirit cannot find me in this place." He was surprised at the understanding look in the Crow man's eyes. Yes, even though he was his enemy, this man was still Indian. He said something to the woman, then looked back at him.

"I am called Runner, in case you do not remember. The woman who is your white mother is called Lettie, and her husband's name is Luke. Do you remember they told you they are your mother and father?"

White Bear studied them, noticing the white man watched him with a look of love and terrible sadness in his blue eyes. "I remember," he answered.

"Lettie says that as soon as you are strong enough, she will take you out where you can see the sky. The openings where you see the light are called windows. She says she will take away the coverings over them, and she will open the windows themselves, so that you can smell the air and see the sun and sky through them. The Great Spirit will be able to come through the openings and find you."

The woman rattled on about something else, all the while rubbing at his arm and watching him with such love in her eyes that much of his initial fear of being in this place left him. Following her instructions, Runner introduced the children as his brothers and sisters. The one called Katie was tall for being almost eleven summers. He wondered how soon she might marry. In the eyes of the Sioux, she was almost old enough. She was already developing breasts. The oldest boy was Tyler. He, too, was tall and looked older than ten years. The pretty little girl who had gone running out of the room was Pearl, Runner told him. White Bear had never seen such bright red hair. She had the same unusual green eyes as her mother.

These white people certainly had hair and eyes of many colors. Half Nose had kept him away from white people, and he had imagined they were all the same as himself, with light hair and pale blue eyes, but all around him were different-colored eyes and different-colored hair. Some had skin as pale as the clouds, others, like the tall one called Luke, were dark from the sun.

Next came a boy called Robert. "He will be seven when the leaves turn to gold," Runner told him. "The youngest is Paul. He was five only two moons ago. Lettie says to tell you they are all your brothers and sisters, and that you are welcome to stay here with them, learn the white man's ways. You have a home here, and will be loved and cared for. You are her natural son, a white man. It is right that you stay. These are your people, Nathan. That is your real name. Nathan Lee Fontaine."

White Bear looked around at all of them. "I have not said I would stay," he told Runner. "And I do not wish to be called Nathan. I am White Bear. And the woman should not look upon me as though I am a small boy. I am a man! I am fourteen summers, and one summer ago I sacrificed blood at the Sun Dance. She can see the scars on my breasts."

Runner translated, and the woman called Lettie looked ready to weep when her eyes fell on the scars.

"I told her earlier about the Sun Dance and how sacred it is, what an honor it is to make the sacrifice," Runner told him. "It made her proud, but also sad that her son suffered this way. She wishes for you to stay long enough to learn enough words that she can talk to you. She wants to teach you about her God, who is not so different from the Great Spirit. Perhaps they are the same. She wants you to give yourself time to learn the white man's ways. It is only right, for you
are
white. You are not Sioux."

White Bear looked up at the Indian. "You keep saying this, as though you have to keep reminding me. But in my heart I am
Sioux!
I know you understand how I am feeling. You tell her the Indian way is a good way. Half Nose is a good father to me. He has taught me well, taught me to be a man. He showed me love, and his wife was like a mother to me. His children are my brothers and sisters, the same as these white children around me. But I do not know these white children. I do not care for them the way I care for my Sioux brothers and sisters. I must go back to them. Half Nose will worry. He will think I am dead and he will be very sad. I must go back. My people are hungry and dying. Most of the buffalo are gone. That is why we steal the white man's cows. We are starving. The land that was supposed to be left to us and to the buffalo has been stolen away by the white man. We have no place to go and nothing to eat! The young ones like myself must hunt and steal to live."

"You could go to the reservation. There you get blankets, food—"

White Bear cursed with such venom that Lettie drew in her breath and pulled her hand away. Runner explained all that he had said, then spoke to Nathan again.

"She says if you hate the reservation so, then you can live right here. You are white. You don't need to live on a reservation, nor do you need to live with the renegade Sioux, who will surely die in the end."

White Bear suddenly wanted to cry. He looked into his mother's eyes, not sure how to feel about her. "Tell her that if they must die, then I shall die with them. No man of pride lives on the reservation, begging for his food and blankets, sitting there useless, unable to hunt or make war, nothing to do but sit and wait for death. We refuse to die like cowards. We will ride free and hunt and live where we choose, as we have always done. Tell the woman she must understand that in my heart I am not white, and I cannot stay."

"She saved your life, Nathan," Runner reminded him.

White Bear kept his eyes on his mother. "For this I am grateful, and for this, I can promise that my people will never attack her or her husband or her children or anyone on her husband's land. Nor will we kill and eat any of his beef. We only wish permission to ride across his land without being harmed. I will tell this to Half Nose, and he will agree."

Runner sighed and related his words to Lettie. Lettie closed her eyes, covered her face for a moment before speaking again.

"Your mother asks if you will stay one month, one full moon. After that you are free to choose."

White Bear thought for several quiet seconds, sorry for the sorrow in the woman's eyes. "I will stay," he answered. "But if she tells the truth that I will be free to leave if I choose, then she must prove it by releasing the ropes around my wrists and feet now."

When Runner had interpreted, Lettie looked at Luke.

He took something from the pocket of his pants then, unfolding a blade to make it turn into a small knife. White Bear was amazed at the sight of it, a knife that opened and closed! He watched warily as the man called Luke came closer and used the knife to cut the ropes. So, he thought, the white woman is true to her word. He reached up, pointed at the knife, told Runner to tell Luke he wanted to look at it more closely. Luke knelt beside him, closed it, opened it again. He handed it to White Bear, who studied it carefully, then closed it again. Luke said something to Runner, who told Nathan that Luke wanted to give him the knife, a gift from his white father. "He says you must promise never to harm anyone in his family with the knife."

White Bear worked the knife a little more. It was a grand thing indeed! It made him smile. "I promise," he answered. "My Sioux brothers and sisters will envy such a gift."

"Ask him if he will let me embrace him," Lettie told Runner.

In response to Runner's words, Nathan frowned. "A Sioux warrior does not embrace his mother in front of so many."

Immediately the woman spoke to the others, and all the gawking children left the room.

"Your father says to tell you that whatever you decide, you are his son. That will never change. He loves you the same as all the other children who were here. All that is his can be yours if you should decide to stay. If you leave and choose to come back later in life, you will always be welcome. He asks that you never forget this, that you trust his word."

White Bear looked up at the man who had given him the wonderful knife. "I will not forget."

Luke glanced at Lettie lovingly, then turned and left the room. Runner followed.

White Bear watched Lettie. This mother of his wanted to embrace her son. He supposed he could oblige her that much. She leaned down and took him into her arms. She smelled good, and he felt a wonderful warmth, but he did not move his arms to embrace her in return. Mother or not, she was still white, and a stranger to him.

Pearl giggled as Nathan picked up mashed potatoes with his fingers. He looked at her questioningly, then angrily flicked the potatoes off his fingers and picked up a piece of meat instead.

"That was very rude, Pearl," Lettie reminded her. "It's been hard enough to get him to sit in a chair at the table and accept his food on a plate. In time he will learn to use table utensils properly." She looked around at the rest of the children. "I might remind all of you that there are probably things Nathan could teach
you,
like how to survive off the land, how to make do with only the things nature gives us. He could teach you how to use a bow and arrow, and all the things that are made from one buffalo. Now, I want all of you to help him learn, and through Runner, you can also learn from Nathan. I want you to make him as welcome and comfortable here as possible, so that he will want to always stay with us. I do not intend to lose my son a second time."

Luke glanced her way, irritation evident in his eyes. "Lettie, I've told you not to get your hopes up. You can't erase ten years of upbringing in two weeks."

"I don't want to hear it," she snapped. "God won't take him away again."

Nathan, disgusted with the strange, mushy food and the way everything was cut up, suddenly rose. It was obvious he was being discussed, and he did not like it, not when he couldn't understand everything that was being said. He glared at all of them, then reached over and picked up a large, uncut piece of roast from its platter and bit into it. He smiled proudly, nodding his head, as though to tell them that this was the best way for a man to eat. Blood and juice dripped from the roast as he proceeded through the dining room and kitchen to go outside and eat it there.

"Bless my soul!" They all heard Mae exclaim the words from the kitchen, and all the children began to laugh, all but Tyler, who sat sulking. He watched his mother blink back tears, saw the look of concern on Luke's face. "Pa?" he asked.

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