Bittner, Rosanne (34 page)

"Oh,
I expect he's heard about it, all right. And after what
you
heard, it's
a good bet it
was
Dunlap who did this. One thing you're right about is
tryin' to prove it. My problem is decidin' whether or not to tell Captain Booth
what you heard or to just keep quiet and wait till John recovers, tell him
about it first."

Tess
wiped at more tears. "I don't know the answer. I only know you need real
proof."

Ken
shook his head. "We don't even have a bullet for evidence, in order to
tell what kind of rifle it came from. It passed right through him, and I sure
as hell couldn't take the time to try to find it. All I could think of was
gettin' John out of there and gettin' him some help."

Tess
walked to a washbowl and wet a rag, walking around to lay it on John's fevered
brow. "You did the only thing you could do, Ken. Thank God you got him
here when you did, and thank God you were with him. If he'd have gone out there
alone, he would have lain there and died before anyone knew what had
happened."

Ken
studied John quietly, thinking how strange it would be riding with the Rangers
without John Hawkins at his side. Even if John lived, he'd lose him as a
partner... to Tess Hawkins. God knew he'd quit the Rangers himself if he could
find a woman like that.

"Well,
it's done now. And if anybody can pull him through, it's you."

Tess
wiped at perspiration on John's face. "I hope you're right, Ken."

Ken
cleared his throat. "I, uh, I have to ask you. I promised Jenny I
would."

Tess
met his eyes. "She wants to come and see him?"

He
rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah."

Tess
experienced the sting of jealousy again. "Then by all means, tell her to
come. Maybe there is something she can say that will help. Maybe the love of
two
women will help." She looked back at John. "I know she loves him
in her own way. And I am beginning to understand why. After he left, I... I
began to realize just how deep John's feelings run, in spite of that careless
attitude of his, all his pretending to be so hard and unfeeling. How many men
would do what he did for me? He isn't near the savage he pretends to be."

"Oh,
he can be savage, all right, but not with a woman. Never with a woman."
Ken sighed and headed for the door. "I'll go talk to Jenny."

Tess
turned. "I'm sorry, Ken, for not telling both of you what I heard. I
thought I was protecting John."

Ken
glanced from her to John. "Sure." He turned and left, and Tess sat
down carefully on the edge of the bed. She leaned close, touched his face.

"Can
you hear me, John? It's Tess." Her throat ached. "I love you, John
Hawkins. Don't you dare die on me."

He
groaned, but his eyes did not open, and she wasn't sure if he heard her at all.

Tess
grimaced as she took the soiled bandages from Jenny. She dropped them into a
pan. "I couldn't keep doing this without your help," she told the
woman.

"You
know I'm glad to do it," Jenny answered. "You do the rewrapping. I'll
take the job of rolling him some way to get the bandages around him. It will
require a little lifting, and you shouldn't be doing that."

Tess
cut some gauze and leaned over John's naked torso.

"Here,"
Jenny said, grunting then as she shoved a pillow under John's hips. "We'll
lift him a little this way. Then you pass the gauze under him and I'll bring it
over and you take it again. We'll wrap him good and tight. Maybe that will help
his rib, too."

Tess
nodded. She held one end of the gauze and brought it over the wound, sick at
the sight of how bruised he still was. "I hope the internal bleeding
hasn't started up again. I just wish he would open his eyes and let me know he
can hear me." She handed the gauze under him, and Jenny took it, bringing
it around. Tess took it and pulled it over the top of the first piece to hold
it in place, then passed it under him again.

"He'll
come around." Jenny took the gauze again. "You sure you don't mind
how this looks, me being here so much?"

"I
don't care about that I know in my heart my husband is a far better man than
Harriet Caldwell's. All her pride and arrogance and wealth doesn't make her any
better than I. At least I've done nothing wrong, and neither has John. Besides,
his life is all that matters right now. You were a good friend. If your
presence might help, then I want you here." She took the gauze and brought
it around again. "And who else could I have come over here and work over
John Hawkins's naked body? Certainly not any of the other women of this town,
except maybe some of the Mexican women. They would understand this. The others
would faint dead away." She passed the gauze under him again. "I
decided that since there is nothing here you haven't already seen, why not
you?"

Jenny
laughed. "Well, that's smart thinking." She met Tess's eyes as she
handed the gauze over again, and her smile faded, her eyes tearing. "You
know I love him too, don't you?"

Tess
felt the familiar pain in her heart. "I know." She took the gauze,
and the two of them continued wrapping. "We just love him in different
ways, and I suppose he loves you, too, in a special way. I just don't intend
for him to ever have to come to you for... physical satisfaction again. I will
give him all he needs."

Jenny
grinned again, in spite of the tear that slipped out of one eye. "Well,
I'm sure he'd be glad to hear that."

Neither
of them noticed a hint of a smile on John's lips. "Did you... I mean...
how was the wedding night?"

Tess
cut the gauze and tucked in the loose end. "I am his wife in every way, if
that's what you mean." She straightened. "I decided he deserved that
much. But afterward I felt... I don't know... foolish, guilty."

"Guilty?"

"I
shouldn't have... wanted him. It seemed so wrong. I decided I had just acted
out of duty. The worst part was... I enjoyed it. I would never tell anyone that
but you. No one else would understand."

Jenny
put her hands on her hips. "I can't imagine any woman being with John and
not
enjoying it."

Tess
covered John. "Please don't, Jenny. It wasn't just that John was still
practically a stranger. It was the fact that I'd been... soiled and abused by
Chino. For a moment I could see him hovering over me. It just didn't seem right
that I could want a man at all."

Jenny
wiped at the tear and came closer. "I'm sorry. I can understand what
you're saying."

Tess
folded her arms nervously. "I wanted to... I don't know... it was a way of
helping me pretend John really could be the father of this baby. I guess what I
felt most guilty about was the fact that he told me he loved me, but I couldn't
say the same, not with the same sincerity. Now I'm afraid I'll never get the
chance."

"Oh,
you'll get the chance, all right."

Tess
pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, thinking what a tired, soiled mess she
must be. "Do you think he'll be terribly angry with me for not telling him
about what I heard Jim Caldwell saying?"

"Oh,
he might at first. But he'll understand why you kept quiet. He'll get over it
because he loves you."

Tess
faced her. "Don't you say a word to anyone about it until Ken and John
decide what to do."

"Honey,
I'm no fool. One thing I
will
do, though, is keep my eyes and ears open.
Men tend to brag and say things they shouldn't say when they're drunk. Maybe
I'll hear something that could be useful, now that I know what to listen
for." She turned back to the bed. "Why don't you go lie down on the
lounge in your parlor? I'll give him his bath by myself this time. I can handle
it."

"Are
you sure?" Tess rubbed at an aching neck. It was John's fifth day here,
and she had tended him nearly around the clock. The doctor had done all he
could, and this was the second time Jenny had come today. She noticed the woman
had dressed demurely in a simple calico with a high neckline, a sign of respect
for her. "I do so much appreciate the help, Jenny. The doctor said this
could go on indefinitely, and you were the only one I could think of who could
probably handle this without fainting dead away."

"Like
I said, it's no problem. I'm glad you asked me. I was worried sick." She
came around beside Tess and led her out into the main room, which served as both
parlor and sewing room. The simple home consisted of only four rooms, the main
room, a kitchen, dining room and one bedroom. "You go lay down like I
said," Jenny told her. "We'll work in shifts. You sleep a while, and
then you can take over for me. My bartender will take care of the saloon."

"All
right." Tess faced her. "What if he dies, Jenny? How will I ever
forgive myself?"

"He
won't die. And you only did what you thought was best."

Tess
squeezed Jenny's arm. "Thank you, Jenny."

Jenny
shrugged. "I'm the one who is grateful." She left Tess to go into the
kitchen and take a kettle of hot water off the iron cookstove Tess had only
recently received after it being on order for weeks. Carrying the kettle into
the bedroom, she poured some of the hot water into a bowl, then mixed a little
cool water from a pitcher into it. She pulled the blanket away and gently
pulled the pillow out from under John's hips and set it aside, then gasped when
she turned back to notice he had opened his eyes. She leaned closer. "John,"
she whispered. "Are you conscious? Do you know me?"

Pain
showed in his eyes, but he managed a little grin. "Not fair... you giving
me a... bath. I'm... a married man."

Jenny
grinned. "You devil, you," she said softly. "You
do
know
me. How long have you been conscious?"

He
grimaced. "Long enough... to hear my wife say... she enjoyed being in my
bed, and to... hear you both say... you love me. Maybe I should... live with...
both of you."

Jenny
smiled her familiar crooked smile. "You're such a bastard, John Hawkins.
You never did play fair." She covered him again and walked to the door,
calling for Tess. "Your man is awake."

Tess
had barely settled down when she heard the welcome words. Her heart raced with
hope as she hurried into the bedroom. She leaned over John to see his eyes were
still open. "John! Thank God! How do you feel?" She turned to Jenny.
"Go get the doctor, Jenny. We'll give him his bath after the doctor has
seen him."

Jenny
fought her own tears. "Sure. I'll get him right away." She took her
shawl from where it hung over the foot of the iron bed and left, and Tess
leaned closer to John again.

"You're
going to be all right. God surely wouldn't take you from me now."

He
gritted his teeth against pain as he managed to raise one hand to touch her
face. "Missed you, Tess..."

She
grasped his wrist and kissed his palm. "And I missed you," she
whispered. "I love you, John Hawkins. I love you!"

John
watched her beautiful blue eyes, and he could see she really meant it this
time. He wanted to answer, had so much to say, but already he was too tired to
speak. One thing was sure, just hearing those words was all he needed to get
better—fast.

Tess
thumbed through one of several books she had purchased from a drummer who had
come to town only days before John was shot.
"The Adventures of Tom
Sawyer,
by Mark Twain," she muttered. From what she'd read so far, it
certainly seemed to be a story someone like John would appreciate, especially
since he had spent part of his growing-up years on a riverboat.

Setting
the book in her lap, she watched John again with deep concern, agonizing over
the endless waiting. Since that first time he'd seemed lucid four days ago, he
had again slipped in and out of consciousness and into deep sleeps. This
morning, for the first time, he'd had no fever, and some of the bruising about
his chest was beginning to fade. She reached out to touch his brow again, and
he opened his eyes.

"John!
I didn't know you were awake." She leaned forward in her chair. "How
do you feel?"

He
drew a deep breath and put a hand to his head. "A little more normal. It
doesn't hurt so much to breathe."