BittenandDefiant (5 page)

Kellen stood in the doorway to his study. He smiled. Frankie
was so engrossed in one of his novels that she failed to notice his presence.
He could easily imagine spending eternity with her. But she hadn’t indicated
she wanted anything from him other than for him to turn her into a vampire.
Sure, she enjoyed him physically. And she had returned to his home as he’d
asked her to. Neither meant she had any interest in living forever by his side.

She’d asked him to turn her and then get rid of her once she
accomplished her goal. He knew he’d never be able to do that. What if he changed
her and then she resented him for not doing all she requested? Besides, he
would be doing it for selfish reasons, not the ones she had in mind. No, it was
out of the question. Definitely out of the question.

“How’d it go this morning?” Kellen finally asked, startling
Frankie into awareness.

“Oh! Kellen. Hi.” She hugged his book and smiled. “This is
wonderful.”

“Thank you.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Not long. Did you go through with whatever you were
planning?”

“Yes.”

By the time Frankie finished relating her tale, Kellen was
impressed. It might be grief and desperation that drove her, but she still had
more nerve than most humans he’d met over his lifespan. She’d be fearless as a
vampire. The adventures they could have! If only she would want to.

“So what’s next?”

“I’m not sure.” Kellen frowned at the hurt in her voice. “I
don’t really have a set plan. Obviously. Other than to let him know he’s not as
high and mighty as he believes I haven’t really come up with anything
concrete.”

“I’d say you’ve already accomplished that. Want my opinion?”

“Sure.”

“Don’t develop a pattern. Keep him on his toes. Don’t let
him know when to expect you. If you appear randomly he’ll have to devote time
worrying about when you’ll show up next. It’ll bother him. I may be wrong but
you walking down his street this afternoon was probably the last thing he’d
expect even though he had an extra man outside. It was more likely a precaution
than he considered you a real threat.”

“Yes, I agree.” She laughed without humor. “I surprised
myself with that one too.”

“I’m sorry, Frankie. I know you don’t want to hear this but
I think it was a little reckless, going by his place. But honestly so is your
whole crusade.” He held up his hand to stop her protest. “I’m not saying I
don’t understand your motivation. I do. But I care enough already to wish you
wouldn’t be putting yourself in this position. I wish you’d let me help.”

“I asked for your help.”

“In other ways. I can’t do that.”

“You won’t. But I don’t want to argue.” She paused. “What
were you thinking of?”

“I could take care of his dealers. The low-level,
street-corner ones.”

“Take care of how? I know they contribute to the problem but
without him they wouldn’t have anything to sell.”

Kellen chuckled. “I won’t hurt them. Just scare them into
finding another line of work.”

He waited while Frankie considered it. Finally she said,
“He’d hate that.”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay. I mean, if you want to.”

“Frankie.” Kellen grinned. “At this age I no longer do
anything I don’t want to do. The days of proving myself are long gone. I am who
I am. I help my friends. And you are definitely a friend. Aren’t you?”

She nodded hesitantly.

“Good. In fact you’re more than a friend. So much more.”

“Am I?”

“Hell yes! I don’t make a habit of inviting women to move
in. Never have before.”

She appeared surprised. “Never?”

“No. Never. What time did you get here? Three forty? I
sensed it. I felt that you were close. It made me crazy, needing to wait until
dusk to come down here.”

“You could have yelled. I would have come up.”

“I considered it. But you seemed to be in turmoil. I thought
maybe you could use some time to yourself. Or some time to unwind.”

“You’re right. Thank you.” She sighed sadly.

Reacting without thinking, Kellen scooped her out of the
chair and took her place, positioning her on his lap. He hugged her, holding
her against his chest. When Frankie began to sob, his undead heart broke. He
could picture her in happier times and it hurt, knowing there was really very
little he could do for her. Oh sure, he could turn her as she requested. He
could help her with her crusade, frightening off the street dealers and
watching her back as she took on the big guy. He could and would do everything
to ensure that she succeeded. But still it wouldn’t restore what she’d had with
her family.

As he held her Kellen let his mind drift. If only her life
weren’t in such turmoil. If only she wasn’t so convinced her life was over. He
knew he could never replace what she’d lost. But they could have a life
together, a good life. Eternity.

He tensed slightly. Fortunately Frankie was still too lost
in her grief to notice. He realized he was thinking in terms of forever. As in
making plans for after she accomplished her goal of ruining the man who had
provided the means that destroyed her family. He’d been so positive that making
her a vamp was entirely out of the question yet here he was considering the
future as if it were a done deal.

Others had told him how it was when they’d found their
mates, but he hadn’t fully comprehended what they meant. Now after meeting
Frankie he did. They’d said it was powerful, intense but those words didn’t
begin to describe it. There was no doubt in his mind that she was the woman he
was meant to spend forever with. If he had been alive it would have taken his
breath away. As it was he had to force himself not to tighten his grip and
crush her to him.

Frankie’s tears subsided. For a moment she rested silently
against him as if absorbing comfort from his presence. When she finally raised
her head to look at him, her eyes were huge.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“Falling apart as I did.”

“Stop. No need to apologize. We’re friends, lovers. I’m more
than willing to hold you any time you need a good cry. You’ve been through so
much. And now with what you’ve started it’s not unexpected your nerves would be
a little raw.”

“Um.”

“What is it?”

“That’s the first time I cried. Since all this happened.”

Kellen pulled her tight against him. She obviously had no
idea what that meant. She trusted him. She had to or she wouldn’t have let her
pain show as she had. And if she trusted him then there was hope for them.
Perhaps she would reconsider and stay with him once her need for revenge was
satisfied.

“Aw, Frankie. I wish I’d been here for you all along. You
can’t hold it in.”

“I know but…”

“But?”

“There wasn’t anyone…” She let the thought hang, unfinished.

“No one to hold you? No one to comfort you? No one by your
side no matter what was going on?”

“No. No one. Not after Kate died. And I had to be strong for
her with Amber.”

“Well there is now. I’m with you. And I’ll stay with you.
Forever if you’ll have me.”

Frankie looked startled. With her emotions running so high
it was as if she couldn’t decide what he meant. After a second, hope bloomed on
her features. “Do you mean?”

“Maybe.” Kellen nodded slowly.

“Kellen!” she squealed.

“Now wait. I said maybe. We need to talk first.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “Be right back. I need more tea. Can I
get you anything?”

He chuckled. Yes, her emotions were rampant, with how
changeable she was. “No thank you.”

“Oh.” She stopped in the doorway. “Right. Unnecessary.”

“It is but that doesn’t mean I too don’t enjoy the
occasional cup of tea. And Frankie, it is still only maybe. There is a lot to
discuss.”

“I heard you. I understand. But maybe is so much better than
flat-out no.” She smiled and even though her face was still red from crying she
was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Frankie took her time making the tea. So much had happened
the past few days. Her mind was a whirlwind. If she was completely honest with
herself she had to admit Kellen was more than a mere solution. She’d been drawn
to him even before they’d spoken. Learning more about him made him fascinating.
Add in the sexual chemistry between them and it had her thinking things she had
no right to even consider. Not with the horrible way her entire family had
died.

She returned to the study to find Kellen gazing outside. The
atmosphere was heavy with anticipation. It made her wonder what exactly he was
going to say. She’d assumed it would be that he would only change her on the
condition that she stay with him afterward, something that wouldn’t be such a
bad thing, but with his expression she was no longer sure.

“Kellen?” she prompted when he didn’t begin.

He turned and studied her so intently it was all Frankie
could do not to squirm.

“What you’ve probably heard about being turned into a
vampire is more than likely an oversimplification. It’s not a quick and easy
process.”

He had her full attention.

“It’s painful, Frankie. And doesn’t always work. It could
end badly. Very badly.”

“How so?”

“Let me explain how it occurs first.” She nodded. “You’re
correct in believing I would need to bite you. First I’d have to drain enough
of your blood that you were all but dead. You’d need to drink mine to revive
you. Over the next few days every cell in your body would transform. You’d be
unconscious at first. At some point you’d come around and need to feed again.

“While you’re out I’d probably leave to feed myself. Your
hunger wouldn’t kill me but it could weaken me if I don’t. At that stage I’m
the only one who could sustain you. Well, myself or another vamp, which as I’m
sure you can guess is out of the question. If I turned you loose on humans
you’d drain them dry and kill them without intending to.”

Frankie gasped at the thought of it.

“Yeah, it’s not a pleasant event, not as I’m sure you’ve
read.”

“So much is not as I’ve assumed.”

“That’s not a bad thing. The mystique is there for a reason,
Frankie. If we left the legends in place, let us be romanticized, it dissuades
some who might otherwise hunt us. We’re difficult to kill but it’s not
impossible. Now that I’ve aged enough to be comfortable within my skin it’s not
a bad thing, being a vamp, though I’m still not certain it’s an existence I
would have chosen. No, I wasn’t given a choice. Someone turned me against my
will and I’ve made the best of it. Now with the possibility of you sharing
eternity with me it seems even better.”

“So you would make that part of the deal, me staying with
you.”

“Yes and no. I’d ask you to stay long enough for you to be
able to control your hunger. No way would I transform you and then let you out
on your own until I was sure you could do that. It would be irresponsible and
might destroy your mind after you randomly killed innocent people. I’d hope
you’d give us a fair chance because I believe we would be amazing together once
your need for revenge was fulfilled. It won’t be the same, but I think we could
become a family of sorts. I have good friends within my community who I know
would welcome you as my mate.

“We could travel. Gods, there is so much out there I would
love to show you, share with you. Believe it or not there are still places I
haven’t seen. We could explore them together.”

Frankie was enthralled by his expression. This man really
did seem to want to spend forever with her. For months she’d given up all hope
of a future and now he was offering her more than she’d ever imagined since her
life was ruined. He’d even declared her his mate. Finding someone, being half
of a couple, was something she’d looked forward to in the past before her
family was destroyed. Well, not exactly. Marriage and all that it implied, yes,
though not necessarily to a vampire.

“Before you decide you need to hear all of it. I’m saying
this because more than anything I’d hope the transformation would be
successful.”

“You mean it might not be?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. You might not be
compatible. Your genetics might prevent you from changing and it would kill you
outright. Or, even worse, you might only change partway, which would leave you
a monster, out for as much blood as you could get, leaving a trail of bodies in
your wake. That would leave me no choice but to destroy you myself. I love you,
Frankie. Either scenario would destroy me, most especially the second.”

She gaped. “Wh-what did you just say?”

Kellen grinned. “I said I love you. I know it hasn’t been
long and your life is a mess at the moment but I do love you. I think I have
since the first night you stepped out of the shadows and spoke to me. When I
heard your story I decided I wanted you with me always. In fact now that we’ve
met I can’t imagine being without you.

“With how I let you repeatedly watch me feed, looked forward
to it, I must have known instinctively that you are meant to be my mate. If you
decide to be that is. But that’s me and what I want, which is the least of what
you need to consider.”

She knew she was staring, open-mouthed, but could do nothing
to stop herself. Kellen loved her? Kellen loved her. For the first time in
forever Frankie’s heart felt something other than grief. It was so unexpected.
However, he was correct. That was something to think about later. For now she
had to focus on the rest of what he’d said. There were risks involved that
she’d never imagined. Even if he was now willing to help her it didn’t mean it
would necessarily work out as she pictured. What if she decided to proceed and
it didn’t work? If he truly loved her as she was willing to accept he did then
it would hurt him tremendously. Was she willing to take the chance?