Bitten Surrender (10 page)

Was there a point to any of his existence?

He waited for the anger he knew had to be coming. The witch had made him a beast, a monster, a creature to haunt the night. He waited for his rage. All vampires who lost loves became nothing more than animals.

No emotion came. Only the sense of inevitable destruction he had always known would come to him.

When Jerome rose to his feet, his eyes were huge. “She’s lost too much blood. Between the feeding with you and what the vampire did....” Jerome’s voice trailed off.

“Who was he?” Hanzi should know the name of the vampire who had killed his woman. He looked at his beloved again. Adrienne seemed so broken lying on the ground. He ran his hand over her arm. They’d never gotten to discuss what all her ink meant.

Some of it he made out without help. A rose with thorns, a wolf howling at the moon, something which looked akin to an angel with wings. The meaning, why she had chosen to place those symbols on her body, he would never know

A tear slipped from his eye and he wiped it away, noting its red color. He hadn’t cried in two thousand years. Apparently vampires cried red tears.

He would have laughed, but Adrienne had taken all joy from the world when she left it.

“His name was Benedek. Do you not remember him? He was a tailor in our town. Rose with you. He was wed to Adrienne’s aunt, Flicka. Although I had heard rumors of her death.”

Hanzi stared at the head he had decapitated. It was Benedek. He’d not recognized the other man when he’d killed him, too lost in the task. Benedek wasn’t the first royal vampire Hanzi had to hunt except he would be the last.

“I’m not sorry to have killed him. I never will be.” There would be other deaths he would answer for, but never this kill.

“She might rise.” Jerome sounded hoarse.

“Have you ever known a rising from a single feeding?”

His friend shook his head. “No.”

“I didn’t think so.”

There was a way to know Adrienne although she was gone. Hanzi wasn’t going anywhere until he’d done it. Then there would be tasks to achieve before he took the next step and died, an ending he should have figured out how to do years earlier. He would not become Benedek. A last gift he might give to his dead bride

Only some kind of survival instinct imbedded in him and a hope of finding the woman he had lost—although he would have denied his interest if asked—had kept him going.

“Jerome.” He couldn’t believe he had to speak the words he did. There were phrases, which should never be uttered, words so horrifying they should be banned before they had to be spoken. “Can you take care of her body? Put it in a coffin. We have them in the basement still, yes?”

With Jerome’s nod, Hanzi continued. “I will return her to her parents. They should know what happened to their daughter.”

“And then?” Jerome raised his chin in challenge. “What will you do? You’ve said it yourself. There isn’t a vampire alive who can match you. Will you become the scourge of America? I cannot stand what happened to Benedek, and, to be honest, the idea of you becoming the creature he became wrecks me further. You have always been a brother to me. Years before we all took on the roles we’ve had to play.”

“For two thousand years, the idea of meeting the sun felt so repugnant to me I couldn’t fathom the idea. Killing myself? It wasn’t to be done. However, I find I can manage the process. I will meet the sun, my brother. No creature not deserving will die by my hand again. I will use my numbness to save the world from me.”

“Hanzi....”

There were no other words to state. He went to find Feri. The other vampire had the ability to help him with his last need. Then he would take his last journey to bring Adrienne home.

The castle was quiet. His two friends awaited news as they kept watch over their brides. He hoped the women would awaken. The others shouldn’t have to suffer too. They should love their reward even if he couldn’t have his.

Feri stood, staring at his bride’s still body, his gaze far away. He didn’t look when Hanzi entered the room.

“Do you remember waking from the dead?” He’d always wanted to ask another vampire the question. Tonight was his last chance to do so.

Feri turned to regard him and rubbed at his eyes while he did so. “Distantly, as a memory I can’t quite touch.”

“You’re lucky. I remember it vividly. Clawing my way through the dirt.”

The terror of not knowing where he was, the hunger pounding on him to
feed, feed, feed
. Adrienne would be spared the rebirth to his nightmare. He’d never wanted it for her anyway, and she had been clear, before her mind went fuzzy, she didn’t wish it either.

She would have moved on to her peace. He doubted they would have the same afterlife. If there was any afterlife to begin with.

He had not figured out any of the world’s great questions in his two thousand years.

“The vampire is dead. He will not harm anyone else again.”

Feri rose to his feet. “Did you make him suffer?”

“No.” Hanzi’s bones ached. Had he ever been so tired? “I did take off his head. He had his mouth on Adrienne’s neck. I wasn’t concerned with pain, simply destruction.”

“You seem different.” Feri cocked his head to the side. “Was Adrienne very injured in the assault?”

“She’s dead.” Saying it aloud did not make it any easier to stomach. Part of him still felt if he returned to their rooms, she would be there, asleep on the couch. He’d wake her from her dream and make love to her again. And again.

“Hanzi.”

He held his hand to silence Feri. “I only fed from her once.”

Feri gasped. “Only once?”

“I am bringing her body back to her family.”

His friend walked toward him. “And then?”

“I will do what needs to be done.” As he always had since the moment he had stepped forward to act as the hunter. He had never shirked his responsibilities. Nothing would change.

“You have some of her memories don’t you? The strange gift you have to deliver memories gives you some at the same time.”

Feri nodded. “I’ll give them to you.”

“Thank you for not making me ask.”

“You have your own gifts, you know. I’ve never been the hunter. It always had to be you. All of the darkness you have seen and you remained good, a light amongst our people.”

“I am going to die soon, my brother. I don’t need you to send me off with platitudes and untruths.” And his patience was wearing thin. “You will all have to find a new hunter. When your bride wakes you will need to find some others and figure it out.”

Feri pointed to the ground. “On your knees. And thank you for saying she will wake. I am not as confident.”

“If she doesn’t, you can meet the sun. It’s a gift of my horror. At long last, I can choose to let eternity go. I feel nothing. I can do what needs to be done.”

“Good to know.”

Hanzi knelt, and Feri placed his hands on Hanzi’s temple. The memory process had always creeped him out. He manipulated some things himself—compel a human, calm her, seduce her if he needed to. On his own, he would have made Adrienne relax and told her his story. Feri’s strange gift to send a person into another’s memories was unique among vampires.

“I don’t know what memories I have of hers.”

“Whatever ones you have will work.” He needed something, anything to help him through the next days.

“And I’ll have to take something from you in the process. The exchange is the way it works.”

“Less talking, more action.”

He hardened his jaw when Feri’s hands pressed deeper into his skin. A heady sensation nearly overtook him; the room spun while he waited for something to happen.

“Usually, I put the person to sleep so they can process the new information. I don’t suppose you’re going to let me knock you out. Not ready for a nap?”

“No, I have to arrange for transport to fly Adrienne back to the States. I won’t have her simply vanish and not let anyone know what happened. I need a plane. There are arrangements to be made.”

“I’m sure Jerome can arrange things.”

“No.” He gritted his teeth. “Is it done?”

“It is. Without sleep, the memories will come when they feel ready to. I can’t predict when exactly.”

Hanzi stood. “Then they’d better decide to show in the next twenty-four hours. Those minutes are exactly how much time I have before I can’t think anything at all.”

****

T
he private plane he travelled on zoomed over the Atlantic at faster speeds than he had ever fathomed when he was a young man. Even with the special glass to keep the sun out, he hated the experience. Given the chance, he preferred boats as a means of travel. But he had no time to waste.

Already, his jaw had hardened, and his need to do the right thing faded from him. Soon, he might not care about doing the right thing anymore.

He was hungry, and the flight attendant and pilots smelled as would a steak dinner to a human. Hanzi shook his leg. He wasn’t going to feed, not anymore. His last feeding would be Adrienne’s sweet blood. Her crimson life was the last memory he wanted.

Leaning back against the seat he tried to relax. Adrienne’s coffin was in the back of the plane. He couldn’t look at her. While her body cooled and stiffened inside the box, he felt her soul moving further and further away from him.

“Hey.” He jumped and whirled around as he realized he no longer sat on the plane.

“What the hell?” Where was he? He’d arrived inside some kind of shop. There she was, sitting across the room, leaning on a table with her arms crossed and an amused expression, illustrated by her raised eyebrow and the glint in her eyes.

“I said hey.”

He didn’t dare move, not even to draw breath. She looked so alive. Those were Feri’s memories of her, given to him.

“What am I?”

Hanzi didn’t expect her to answer so when she did, it jolted his entire body as if he’d been struck by lightning.

“You’re in my tattoo parlor. Well, the place I worked in. I never saved enough to start my own place. I didn’t expect to live long enough for it to matter.”

“How are you talking to me?”

“I’m a memory. Your brain has taken the information Feri gave it and formed me. It’s kind of similar to you talking to yourself.” She walked toward him. “I don’t think you care. Do you? I seem pretty real to you.”

He reached out to touch the side of her face, letting his hand run her cheek and to her neck. Her pulse beat beneath his fingertips. He knew, in reality, she was dead in a coffin in the back of the plane. Still, he would take the moment.

Might he stay here? Remain with her forever?

“You’re warm and you’re Adrienne.”

“I am.” She nodded. “You have questions. Or at least I think you do. What else are we doing here?”

“I never got to know you. A single full day spent together wasn’t enough. I wanted to delve deep inside of you, know your soul, understand what made you Adrienne. I hoped a touch of you might give me a taste of what I missed, enough to take to eternity with me.”

She snorted. “Very dramatic. But okay. I think my purpose with you would have been to have lighten you the fuck up.”

“I don’t know if making me lighthearted would have been possible.” He loved the sound of her voice. It was music. Hanzi wished to listen to it all day.

“Sure it would. You couldn’t have always been such a lamenting vampire. After you were changed there must have been a time you weren’t so consumed with the dark night.”

He pulled her against him for the warmth. “I don’t want to talk about me. I want to know things about you. The ink on your arms. What does it all mean to you?”

She pushed back. “All my ink would take a week’s worth of explanation. I doubt we have that much time. I can certainly go through some of it.”

“Please.” He touched the angel design. “This is the design I want to know about it.”

Her gaze lowered to the tattoo. “I’m sorry. I don’t have your information. I’m not exactly Adrienne. I don’t have all of her memories. Only whatever Feri got from her during the exchange. I can tell you about the rose. It was my first tattoo. I did it to piss off my parents. Over the years, I’ve added to it.” She stopped talking and looked at him, her lips pursing. “It’s not enough, is it? The bits of Adrienne I have.”

He kissed her hand so he could smell the baby powder on her a last time. “Not nearly.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” More than she would ever know.

He jerked back to consciousness in his seat. He hadn’t really slept; he felt more as if he’d left the present to journey through his own mind for a little while. Sweat had broken out all over his body, and he gripped the side of his chair so hard his knuckles whited.

“Couldn’t the plane crash?” No one heard or paid attention to his shouts. The pilots and flight staff were trained well enough to know to leave their employers alone unless called for. “Death in the ocean would be preferable.”

Would he actually die if they crashed? Only if there was fire or the sun got to him.

He undid his seatbelt and walked to the side of the plane to look out the opposite side window. Nothing except clouds and blue sky as far as he saw. A beautiful day for other people. His living hell.

With little warning, his fangs elongated, catching him by surprise. Hanzi laughed throwing his head back. His monster roamed close to the surface.

Few things would satisfy him, not a regular feeding in any case. What he wanted was to put his hands around the throat of the witch who had done harm to them. He blamed her for Adrienne’s death as well. If she hadn’t done her spell two thousand years ago, Adrienne would have been free to live her life as she saw fit without knowing someday she’d have to encounter him.

Yes, the whole thing traced back to the day he didn’t murder a witch in his town’s square. Considering all the blood he had spilled in his life, what would a little more have meant? Nothing what-so-fucking-ever.

He dropped to his knees and let out the roar he could no longer contain.

Hanzi was a monster. Why bother pretending anything else? It was so much easier to simply give in. Fuck the world.