Bitten By Regret (Just One Bite #2) (15 page)

Lizbeth was in the bedroom feigning sleep. Diandra knew it
for the lie it was, but she let her keep pretending. She knew every inch of her
lover's body as well, maybe better, than she knew her own. Things had gone well
between the two of them for a few weeks following the trauma that nearly
destroyed all their lives in August. It was business as usual but somewhere along
the way Lizbeth's perfect façade had cracked. She flinched away from Diandra
any time she was caught off guard and a new wariness was forming lines around
her suddenly cautious blue eyes. She didn't touch RaeLynn nearly as often or as
easily as she used to, and the baby was cranky and temperamental now because of
the shift. Next to Diandra, Lizzie was her favorite person.

In her own way, Diandra had learned to be just as cautious
with Lizzie yet somehow she always made things worse. If she accidently brushed
up against Lizbeth and felt her stiffen she would jump back, her reflexes
faster than the human eye could follow. That usually turned the stiffening of
Lizbeth's body into a flinch, fear evident in her face. These days nothing went
right when Dia tried to fix the problems. If she walked into a room it seemed
Lizzie had forgotten something elsewhere. They no longer cuddled on the
loveseat in the parlor, and Lizzie never wrapped her arms around her anymore.
She stayed out later and later working on a case, and some nights she even
slept at the office.

The last night she'd done so, Diandra had Eamon sit with
RaeLynn and she went to check on Lizbeth without her knowing. Scanning the
parking lot, the security cameras stood out sharply to her preternatural eyes-
they might as well be glowing for how obvious they were to Dia. Dodging them,
she slipped silently to the window of Lizbeth's office, and her heart broke for
what she found there. She feared she'd find her lover with someone else, but
somehow the sight of Lizzie sleeping on the sofa, tossing and turning in an
uncomfortable sleep was more heartbreaking than losing her to another lover.
The dim office light shone on Lizbeth's cheeks, painting the trail of tears on
her face a delicate golden shade, and outside the window, hands pressed to the
glass, Diandra cried with her.

Reflecting back upon this, Dia watched lightning strike the
ocean not too far into the distance. The air smelled of salt water and ozone,
and the air crackled with electricity and menace. Oh yes, the weather fit her
mood perfectly. Although her eyes were wet her cheeks were dry as she refused
to allow the threatening tears to fall. Suddenly the bottom dropped out of the
sky and a downpour soaked her in moments. How fitting, she thought sullenly.
Mother Nature was crying the tears she would not shed. Her copper hair was
dripping into her face, a frizzy mess that ran in rivulets down her neck and
into the sodden black robe that hung open around her pale, naked body. She knew
she should get inside and watch from the safety of the living room, but
recklessness rode her and kept her frozen where she stood. The emotions rolled
through her body, one after another: love, heartache, pain, fear, anger, grief,
regret. The cycle of emotions whirled faster and faster, choking Diandra,
clenching a fist around her heart and stealing her breath from her lungs.

She felt alone, and wanted nothing more than her lover's
arms around her to comfort her and take away her pain. Now a torrent of
pictures filled her mind, battling for priority over the emotions still warring
in her. Lizbeth's face when Jonah's heart was ripped- still beating- from his
body, every time she pulled away or walked away, each look of fear that crossed
Lizzie's face, and the image of her crying in her sleep on her office sofa. This
final image was too much for Diandra to bear. Throwing her head back, face
tilted up into the rain, she screamed her sorrow to the sky.

Lizbeth had her phone set to vibrate to wake her the next
morning. She slipped quietly out of bed and grabbed the clothes she'd set out
the night before. There was a lump under the covers next to her and she heaved
a quiet sigh of relief that once again she would be able to evade Diandra. Instead
of using the bathroom attached to the master bedroom she crept down the hall to
the guest bathroom to dress and prepare for the day. The coffee maker had been
set the night before so as soon as she filled a travel mug and grabbed her
briefcase she would be out the door.

She knew she was being cowardly but couldn't bring herself
to deal with the paranormal strangeness of the life she now led. She hated
being this way, but until she resolved things in her own mind it was just too
difficult to be home right now. So she slunk through the house like a thief,
praying she'd make it out before RaeLynn woke- one cry from the baby had
Diandra up and moving before the child could emit a second.

Turning the corner of the staircase, she peered behind her
to make sure there was no movement from upstairs. Her work shoes were carried
in one hand as she tiptoed in just her stockings to make even less noise.
Facing forward, she let out a yelp of surprise and threw her shoes, reaching
behind her for her gun. Diandra's hands lashed out with eerie quickness and
snatched the two shoes before they could make contact with her face. She calmly
held the shoes out to a startled Lizbeth, looking amused as she watched to make
sure the gun hadn't cleared the holster.

"What the Hell, Diandra. I could have hurt you,"
Lizbeth yelled indignantly. She yanked the shoes away from Diandra and,
realizing there was no need for quiet any longer, held onto the bannister with
one hand while using the other to slip into the loafers.

Diandra shook her head, sadness filling her eyes. "I
took the liberty of calling Alexar. He's not expecting you at the precinct for
another three hours. Like it or not, we need to talk." She turned her back
and headed for the dining room where a tray bearing a ceramic carafe, sugar,
creamer and two stoneware mugs waited for them. Without looking back to see if
Lizbeth was following, she called over her shoulder, "And I think we both
know I was in no danger."

Lizbeth eyed the door with a measuring look, but decided it
was a wasted effort to make a run for it. Besides, slinking away like a dog
with its tail between its legs was one thing- actively running after being
caught was another. She couldn't bring herself to be that cowardly. Slowly she
shuffled to the dining room, taking the mug Diandra offered with a whisper of
thanks. She sat down reluctantly and took a sip of the coffee, registering that
it was made exactly the way she liked it- sweet and light. Damn, she was really
starting to feel guilty.

"So," Diandra began, "would you like to tell
me why you felt the need to sneak out of the house like a teenager trying to
avoid being caught by her parents?" One perfectly arched eyebrow was
raised in question and she twirled the mug back and forth from hand to hand,
careful to avoid sloshing any coffee over the side.

Lizbeth refused to raise her head. She couldn't bring
herself to meet those lovely lilac eyes and see the hurt in them. "I
merely wanted to get to work, that's all. I couldn't sleep." The lie rolled
easily off her tongue but Diandra wasn't fooled.

"Bullshit," she said softly. "You've been
slipping out of the house before we wake every morning for two weeks now. I've
tried to give you space to sort things out in your own mind, but I cannot do it
anymore. If I'm so horrible, if you're so afraid of RaeLynn, if you just don't
want to try anymore, no one is forcing you to stay. But go before you hurt us
anymore."

Lizbeth looked up in surprise, and the guilt grew worse as
she watched a single tear slide down her lover's face. "Dia, no- I don't
want to leave. It's just…" she trailed off, unable to make herself speak
aloud of her fears.

"It's just that you're afraid of us now. I get that.
But we didn't hurt you, and we never would. Hell, Rae healed you. What's so
scary about that?" Her confusion was obvious, the hurt lacing the edges of
her words as she tried to understand.

"I don't know," Lizbeth whispered. Her emotions
raw, everything she felt was in those three little words. Guilt, sorrow, fear,
puzzlement- all of her feelings were laid bare before Diandra. "I don't
know why I'm so afraid. I was dead. I remember the aching terror of being shot.
I remember how badly it hurt, and how the pain ebbed away until I just… let go.
I was hovering overhead." She locked eyes with Diandra, begging her to
understand. "After I died I was hovering above my body. I saw what you did
to Jonah, and that scared the Hell out of me, even more than what you did to
that… assassin. Then RaeLynn placed her baby hands over me and I woke up, like
it was just a bad dream. I don't have a single fucking reminder of it except my
memory. No scars, no pain, but I'm still screaming inside, Dia. I remember my
death in such vivid detail that I can feel the pain of the moment if I let
myself, but there's not a mark on me. Shouldn't there be some physical
reminder?" An edge of hysteria had crept into her voice, and her fear lay
heavy and metallic on her tongue. She forced herself to swallow, and washed the
taste down with a sip of the coffee.

Diandra smiled gently before tentatively reaching for
Lizbeth's hand. She didn't draw away, which Dia took to be a good sign,
although there was a slight tightening around her eyes. Still, after sitting
quietly a moment, Lizzie squeezed Diandra's hand in her own. "Lizzie,
baby, you wouldn't know it to see me from the outside, but I've been living in
my own Hell since that day. I killed my husband with my bare hands. Nine years
we were married and I just killed him like he'd never meant anything to me. He
shot you and I saw no recourse but to rip his still-beating heart out of his
body and destroy it because he destroyed you. I wanted to try and save you but
I was helpless. The Council would kill me for sure if I turned you because you
didn't give your permission. Then I would be dead and you'd be raising RaeLynn
alone. Either alternative sucked."

Diandra drew a deep breath and lightly pulled back from
Lizbeth. Using both hands she gripped the coffee mug and drew it to her mouth,
horrified to realize she was shaking so badly she almost couldn't drink it.
After taking a tiny sip she set the mug down gingerly, thankful there was so
little left in it that she didn't spill it in the process. "I didn't know
about Rae's powers, and seeing her bring you back while I was still grieving
over your loss was almost more than I could bear. I know it was traumatic to go
from dead to fully-healed and living, but it was no easier watching the
transformation from my angle, either."

Lizbeth sipped her own coffee quietly before pouring them
both a refill without speaking. She scooped sugar into the mug and added her
cream. Diandra wrapped her hands around the mug of black coffee, warming them
against the internal chill that she'd carried with her since that day. Finally,
Lizbeth took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and began to speak. "I
never considered how it would seem from your perspective. I only knew I was
locked in a sort of Hell where my dreams each night took me back again. I never
knew you suffered, too, and I'm so sorry you suffered alone. I didn't know how
to tell you that I was terrified of what you both had become."

Diandra bit down on her lower lip, sucking air between her
teeth as she thought. "I think that's why I haven't cornered you sooner. I
don't like being… ambivalent about whether or not to take someone's life. I
scared myself that day, and a part of me died inside. I don't know how to come
to terms with who I've become, so there's really nothing I can say to you to
make you feel better. I see myself as a monster- how can I convince you
differently?" She stood up abruptly, hurrying away from the table and out
onto deck with that supernatural speed once more.

No longer bothered by the speed that was so much a part of
the woman she loved, Lizbeth stood up from the table and carried their mugs
outside. She stood next to Diandra at the rail of the deck and placed her mug
down in front of her. Dia didn't acknowledge her presence, and she ignored the
coffee as well. Taking a steadying breath, Lizzie grasped her arm gently and
turned her. Diandra stood stiffly, locked inside herself. Lizbeth could sense
the self-recrimination coming off of her lover in waves, so she did the only
thing she knew could fix it. She threw her arms around Dia's neck, drawing her
down before kissing her passionately. Diandra stood still under the onslaught
as though unsure how to react, so Lizbeth took it a step further, pushing her
probing tongue between her partner's lips, teasing and tasting.

With a muffled sigh, Dia melted into the kiss. Her arms
wrapped tightly around Lizbeth, holding her close, one hand fisted in her hair,
daring her to withdraw. Instead, Lizzie snuggled closer, nuzzling her neck and
biting gently at the lightly bronzed skin. She lowered one arm, teasing
Diandra's breast with a loving hand, absorbing the moan of pleasure with her
mouth, swallowing the need and making it her own.

Diandra drew away with a growl and scooped Lizzie up in her
arms. Using her speed, they were in the bedroom upstairs and tangled in an
embrace in seconds. When Diandra set Lizbeth down she peeled the suit jacket
down and removed the shoulder holster, letting it dangle from Lizzie's belt.
Her hands found the buckle of the belt and hastily stripped her of her pants.
Lizbeth reached for Diandra, undoing the sash on her lavender robe and sliding
it from her shoulders to pool on the carpet at their feet. Lizbeth stood there
in ivory tee shirt and a pair of white sheer panties, the triangle in front
barely hiding the shaved skin behind it. Her hands dropped to her sides,
allowing Dia to take it all in, every bit of her body.

Diandra breathed out, a loud exclamation in the silence of
the bedroom, at the sight of her lover's flesh, both visible and what was
hinted at. She drew the tee shirt gently up and over Lizzie's head before
dropping it to the floor with her own discarded garment. Next came the sheer
white bra that matched the panties, leaving her clad only in that triangle of
fabric. With a laugh that managed to hold both need and delight, she grabbed
the underwear's elastic waist and gave one sharp tug, ripping them from
Lizbeth's body so she stood bared and proud to the soft morning light. Diandra
fell on her, all lips and tongue and gently nipping teeth as she pushed her
back gently onto the bed.