Billy (42 page)

B I L L Y /
191

Billy's eyes burst wide open and he jumps up and
dow
n
.
Guard Russell Vent is going to put the wri
s
t irons on him un til Wilson Wagner sa
y
s, "For God's sake, man."

Cinder, Katey, Reverend Sims, and Wilbur Braxton wait in the special visitors' room, the one reserved for lawyers and clients and the one last family visit.

Cinder has not been able to see Bill
y s
ince the trial,
s
h
e
sits staring at the door he'll come through
.
The guard captain had told them, "Four hours, and that's that. Ya got from twelve to four."

Now the door pops open and Guard Russell Vent peek
s
his head in, looks around, opens the door wider, and Billy
c
om
es
in with Wilson Wagner behind him. Cinder jumps from he
r
seat and runs to Billy, falls to her knees and wraps her a
r
m
s
around him, and just holds him.

"Mama . . . Mama . . . Mama . . ." Bill
y
cri
e
s.

Cinder's sighs fill the room, Guard Russell Vent look
s
around and takes a seat in the corner. Kate
y
thanks her God. Cinder leans back from Billy and looks into his eyes, th
e
n slowly takes her hand and gently wip
e
s the tears away from

his cheeks and just stares at him.

"Mama, ya comin ta git me? Theys sa
y
Ah go home?" Cinder can't answer, but pulls him ba
c
k into her arm
s
. Wilson Wagner looks away, then introduces his
s
elf t
o

Wilbur Braxton and Reverend Sims
. "
l'm Reverend Wil
s
on Wagner, I'm the prison
c
haplain. I want ya to know I d
es
pi
se
this. I've written the Governor and I
s
till have faith, but in the event it is God's will, I promise I will b
e
wit h Billy
eve
r
y
minute."

Wilbur Braxton expresse
s
his frust ration, th
e
n low
e
r
s
h
is
head. Reverend Sim
s s
ay
s
h
e
k now
s
God too, and that h
e'
d also talked to Him and k new thing
s
would b
e
of H i
s
w
i
l l.

192 I Albert
Fre11cli

Then the men
sit
at the tahle while Cinder and Katey keep Billy in their arms.

Cinder's
eyes
become strong for Billy, but Katey's eyes rai n tears. When
she could,
Katey tries to get both Cinder and Bi lly into her arms. Katey's prayers
could
not remain
silent,
"Oh good Jesus, good Jesus, please be wit these chil drens. Be wit em, Jesus." Her prayers become sighs and pants.

Cinder looks at Billy, looks him u p and down, he looks pa thetic in
a
man's
shirt
that hangs like a
nightgown
on him and trousers that look like they been
cut
off at the knees but
still
hung past his ankles. Yet his face had filled and it looked like he'd picked up
a couple
pounds.

"You getting big,"
she
whispers, then
says, "I
miss
you,
bahy. Mama thinks of
you
all
the
time. I love
you,
Billy Lee, nothing gonna
change
that."

She takes Billy to t he table
and sits beside
him.

Wilbur Braxton
sighs
and looks
at
Billy's
eyes, watches
them hounce from
face
to face at
the
table, then he
asks
him how he is doing.

"Ah
reads
and
draws
pictures like
in the
picture books. Ah
draw big buildins like theys has
in Chicago. Sack Man,
he tells me about picture
shows
he be
seein,
he
say
theys
got
lots
of em
in
Chicago."
Billy's
words come
quick.
Wilson
Wagner
glances away from
the table
when
he hears the
words were of Sack
Man. He
sees
the
straps around Sack
Man's
stump arm,
then
saw it almost slide out when
he was jolted by the first
shock.

"Theys come gits Sack
Man. Theys
electrics
him:·

Cinder's
eyes
Hash
at
Guard Russell
Vent,
then to the dark wood of
th
e
table before
she
brings them
back
lo Billy.

Wilson Wagner tells
Cinder
what
a good reader
Billy's be-

B 1 L L
y
I 193

come and what a good boy he is, then asks Bill
y
to tell hi
s
mother what he's learned about Jesus.

Billy blushes and looks down at the floor.

"Come, Billy, tell your mama what you learned, and
w
hat you can say," Wilson Wagner eases Billy on.

"Ah knows about He forgives ya. He die too, He
.
die
s
on the cross for everybodies, and he be there waitin for ya when ya dies," Billy says and looks at Cinder. She smiles.

Wilson Wagner asks, "What can ya almost say now
,
Bill
y?
What have ya been learning to say? I bet your mama and Aunt Katey would like to hear you say it."

Billy blushes again and looks away until Katey
s
a
ys,
"What ya done learned, child? What
y
a done learned to say?"

Cinder keeps her eyes on Billy as he slowly looks at her and says, "Ah can'ts say it all."

Wilson Wagner says, "Just say the first part, then, Bill
y, y
a know that."

Billy's eyes close for a moment, then open as he blurts out
,
"The Lords be my shepherd, Ah shalls not wants. . . . He
'
s makin . . . uh . . . me lays down in green pastures . . . . He stores my soul. . . . He . . . uh . . . uh
.
. . He . . ." Bill
y'
s words fade.

"
God bless ya, child," Katey gasps.

Talk takes its time, Cinder keeps her eyes from th
e
clo
c
k, but when it is quiet, she hears its ticking
.

Wilbur Braxton watches the clo
c
k. Reverend Sims prays silently.

Guard Russell Vent begins to stir in hi
s c
hair, th
e
n n
ods
when he catches Wilson Wagner's ey
e
. Wilson Wagn
e
r t
a
p
s
Reverend Sims on his shoule
r
s
, "Would
y
a l ik
e
to lead us in a prayer?
"

1 94 I A
l
bert French

Cinder begins to quiver as
she
knows her time is
coming
to its
end,
both her arms
go
around Billy.

Reverend Sims
stands
and bows his head.

Wilbur Braxton, Wilson Wagner,
and
Katey remain seated bu t lower their faces, Guard Russell
Vent
looks
out
the
window.

"Dear
God, heavenly Father," Reverend
Sims
begins.
Cinder
closes her
eyes
and just holds Billy.

"Look
down from
your
heavens
,
Lord," the prayer 1s
commg.

"Mama,
Mama,
can ya
takes me?" Bill
y
ask
in
Cinder's ear. "See
this mother and
child, see em,
Je
sus."

"
Mama, Ah wants
ta go
home. Ah
wants
ta
go with
ya,"
Billy pleads.

"Give em yer strength
today
,
let
em lean on ya, Jesus."
Cinder
can't open
her
eyes, she
just pulls Billy closer. "Jesus
forgives this
boy's sins. Forgive him,
Jesu
s."

"
Ah don'ts
wants ta be electrics, Mama,
A
h
scared."
"
Lord have merc
y
. Have
mercy. Have mercy on this
child.

give
ya
mercy
ta
this
mother. Hear our prays in this time of
need.
Give
em
ya
s
tr
ength
ta
can
'
through this
tim
e
.
Lift
their
burdens of the
soul.
Lift their burdens of this here de spair and fill their hearts, thei r souls with
the
mighty hope
of
God. The mighty hope of everlastin life
i n
Jesus Christ, Sav
ior of the
world. Amen."

The
prayer
ha
s
ended.

Guard
Russell Vent
co
m
es
to his feet and nods
lo
W
'
ilson
Wagner.

Wilbur
Braxton
stands, sighs, looks at Cinder holding
Bill
y
.

and whispers,
"It's
time.
We
must
go:·

Cinder is
silent,
bu t Katey
begins
to
cry
loudl
y.
Guard Russ
ell
Vent
begins
to near.

B I L L
y
I 195

Wilbur Braxton
whispers
again, "We have to go." Reverend Sims move
s
forward and places his hand
on Cin

der's shoulder, then,
in
a moment, he
whispers
to her,
"Ya
gots ta leave him with God now. He'll takes care of him. Ain't no better caretaker than the Lord."

Cinder is silent, but begins to
shake.

"Ah wants ta go homes. Take me wit
ya,
Mama. Ah won't
s
stick nobodies agins. Ah won'ts," Billy
whimpers
and begin
s
to cry.

"Time up. Time's up here,"
Guard
Russell Vent
says
over Billy's cries.

"Miss Turner, we have to go now." Wilbur Braxton
comes
to Cinder's side.

Guard Russell Vent
comes
forward and grabs Billy's
arm.
Cinder jerks Billy away from him and
screams, "NO
. . .
NO
. . . NO . . . NEVER." H
e
r
screams
pierce through the walls, the doors, smash through windows,
burst
the outsid
e

air
,
"NO . . . NO
. . . YA
CAN'T HAVE HIM. NO."

The door flies open and more guards
come
in, then look
at
Guard Russell Vent.
"Git
him out
of
here," Guard Russell Vent shouts
and
grabs Billy's
arm
and pulls, whil
e
saying
to Wilbur Braxton,
"Ya
got ta git her out
of
here,
git
this women out
of
here."

Wilbur Braxton and Reverend Sims
take
Cinder's arms i n their hands and hold them gently, but firmly.

Wilson Wagner
comes
lo Cinder's
ear
and whisper
s
franti cally, "I'll be wi th him, Miss Turner, I'll be with him. I'll
s
ta
y
with him, I promise
y
a, there's still hope, there's still hop
e,
Miss Turner, the Governor
can
call, he
c
an
call,
Miss Turn
er,
he can call. . . .
"

The guards wedge their hands i n between Cinder
and
Bill
y,
then rip him from her arms.

196 I A/but
FrN1cl1

'·NO,
NO. BILLY, BlLLY, BI LLY, BILLY, NO,'' Cinder

screams
with
empty arms.

Bi lly tries Lo look
over
h is
shoulder as
he is
ya nked
through the doorway, but he
cannot see
his mother, only hears her
calli ng
his name. He
cries out
to her, "Mama,
gi ts
me. Cits me, Mama."