Billie Jo (20 page)

The six girls sat at a downstairs table in Langan's. Much
to the disgust of the staff, their behaviour was anything but
acceptable. Suzie's fortieth birthday was the occasion and
it had been Chelle's idea to choose this particular restaurant.
Taking the fourth bottle of champagne over to them,
Beppe, the head waiter, politely asked them to calm it down.

'Wanker,' Chelle muttered, as he walked away.

Hazel swapped chairs with Julie and moved next to
Chelle. 'You heard anything from Danny?'

'Yeah. One letter. He politely told me he didn't want
me to visit. Hurt, I was, Haze, fucking hurt. I've treated
that boy like a son.'

Hazel smiled sympathetically, but said nothing. She had
been extremely worried about Michelle lately. Her drinking
had escalated out of all control like never before. She had
always been a pisshead, but recently she had moved on to
another level. She no longer went to the gym or seemed
to care about her appearance. She chose to sit indoors
alone, drinking, morning, noon and night. Knowing today
wasn't the right time to broach the subject, Hazel decided
to pay her friend a visit tomorrow and tell her some home
truths. Chelle needed help and she needed it fast.

* * *

Billie shot the screw a filthy look and placed DJ back
into his carry cot. She should never have brought her baby
here in the first place. How dare they search his stuff?
Did she look like the type of woman that would use her
baby as a drug-runner?

Danny felt apprehensive as he sat at the table, awaiting
his visitors. He was dying to see his boy, but nervous
about seeing Billie. If she looked at him with hatred, he
would be unable to deal with it whilst inside. Seeing his
family walking towards him brought a lump to his throat.

Billie Jo looked gorgeous. Dressed in a black, three-quarter-length
raincoat, she'd topped it off with a corduroy
baker boy hat. Most of the other inmates were married
to ugly old dogs and Danny felt like a king as Billie made
her way towards him. He could see all the other lads
staring at her, clocking her beauty.

Danny kissed her gently on the lips and smiled. 'You
look beautiful, babe. It's so good to see you.'

Feeling awkward and not knowing what to say, Billie's
initial reaction was to focus on the baby. 'Do you wanna
hold him?'

DJ cried as he was picked up by his father. He was
used to being held by his mum and Jamie and he wasn't
sure of the strange man planting kisses all over him. 'I
don't think he remembers me,' Danny said, dejectedly.

As she looked at his hurt expression, Billie felt sorry
for him. 'Of course he remembers you. He's just tired,
Dan. He didn't sleep very well last night and he was
awake all of the journey here.'

'Who brought you up here? Did you ring Leroy to give
you a lift?'

Billie took her screaming child from his father and
tried to soothe him by stroking his head.

'Jamie brought me up here. I would have rung Leroy,
but to be honest, I don't really know him that well. When
Jamie offered, it was a blessing in disguise.'

Sitting back on his chair, Danny stretched his feet out.
'Has Jimmy the Fish been round home?'

'He popped round once since I moved to make sure I
was OK. He sends money every Friday. One of the lads
drops it off, or if I'm not in, they stick it through the
letter box.'

With DJ now fast asleep, Danny decided it was as good
a time as any to mention what he'd done. Stuck in a cell
on his own, he'd had a lot of time to think and he knew
he'd been a bastard to Billie Jo. Pulling his chair closer,
he propped his elbows on the table and ran his fingers
through his dark hair.

'Look, Billie, we can't ignore what happened that night.
Believe me, I am so, so sorry for the way I treated you.
I don't normally touch drugs, apart from puff. That day I
attacked you, a geezer in a pub had given me a tablet.
I'm not even sure what it was. I suppose it was an E or
something. All I know is, whatever it was sent me off me
head and I can't apologise enough to you. I love you so
much, Bill, and I need you to give me another chance. I
know things are gonna take time, but I need to know
you'll be there for me when I get out of this dump. I
swear on my mother's life, I'll never let you down again.'

Taking in everything he'd said, Billie forced a weak
smile. Part of her still loved him, but she wasn't sure
if she could ever truly forgive him. He was genuinely
sorry, she was sure of that. Not wanting to commit herself,
she held his hands. 'I can't give you an answer right now,
Dan. My life at the moment is so fucked up and I need
some time to get my head together. I've had so much to
deal with. My dad getting killed, the shit with my mum,
Jade moving. I became a mother at sixteen, and I can't
deal with any more stress or upset right now. I just need
some time to myself.'

'I understand.' Stroking her hands with his thumbs,
Danny looked intently into her eyes. 'I wanna ask you
one question, Bill, and I want you to promise to tell me
the truth. Can you do that for me?'

Nodding, Billie smiled. 'Fire away.'

'Do you still love me, Billie?'

DJ letting out a piercing scream saved Billie from
answering immediately. As she comforted her son, she
thought about her answer. 'You're the father of my child,
Danny. I have to love you, my son is part of you.'

The rest of the visit passed smoothly. Billie rambled
on about the new house and Danny chatted happily about
prison life and Razor. The bell soon signalled the end of
their reunion.

'Will you visit me again, Billie?'

Standing up, Billie urged Danny to hold his son. 'I'm
not bringing the baby up here any more, Danny. I will
get someone to look after him and pop up on my own.'

'OK. Thanks for coming. I'll ring you tonight.'

As he watched her walk away, Danny smirked at the
young lad on the next table to him. 'Whaddya think of
her?' he asked.

'Well fit. Is she your bird?'

Danny stood up and winked at his fellow inmate. 'She
is, but she's one of many, son.'

Laughing, he made his way back to his cell.

Hazel propped Michelle up against the wall and walked
back into Langan's. 'I'm so sorry,' she said to Beppe, as
she paid the bill with her credit card.

Michelle standing on her chair singing Chas and Dave
songs had started the chaos. The fact she'd taken a tumble
whilst chanting 'Rabbit' had been the final nail in the
coffin. The posh people on the next table had been horrified
as the fat drunken woman had landed in their dinner.

Handing Hazel her card and receipt, Beppe gratefully
accepted the fifty-pound tip.

'You welcome back here, but not your friend. She
barred for life.'

An embarrassed Hazel nodded and left the building.

As he started up the engine, Jamie turned around to face
Billie. 'Well, how did it go?'

'OK.' Billie was completely worn out and didn't feel
much like talking. Visiting Danny had unsettled her somewhat
and she didn't know whether she was coming or
going. Sensing her mood, Jamie turned the music up. He
loved a bit of Bob Marley and seeing as they were in
Brixton, his choice of CD was more than appropriate.

Pleased she'd sat in the back with the baby, Billie stared
out of the window. Having being raised in Essex, multicultural
areas fascinated her and she loved the hustle and
bustle they created. As she shut her eyes, she pictured Jade
and her little brother. Jade was coming down tomorrow
morning and they were spending the day together. It would
be the first time they'd seen one another since the day
she'd given birth to DJ. Jade had finally contacted her after
she'd left an answerphone message, informing her that
Danny was inside. She hadn't mentioned the rape. She
and Danny were getting on far too well on the phone for
her to speak about that now. Anyway, she wanted to forget
about the past. The future was all that mattered now.
Asking why Jade hadn't contacted her before was another
subject Billie had avoided. The truth could be a bastard
and sometimes it was best not to delve into it.

Jamie being around had been a godsend to Billie. He was
funny, helpful and great company. In fact, her loneliness had
disappeared since he'd presented himself in her life.

'I wanna love ya and treat you right. I wanna love ya
every day and every night.'

The soulful voice of Bob Marley was soothing to Billie
and she turned her thoughts back to Danny. 'Is this love
– is this love – is this love that I'm feeling?' The words
could have been written for her, but she was damned if
she knew the answer.

Hazel apologised to the guvnor in Henry's and ushered
the girls outside. Four places now they'd been asked to
leave and although it was a laugh, she'd had a gutful of
it. Chelle and Suzie were absolutely rotten. Julie had
been sobbing for the last half-hour over some geezer that
had dumped her and Donna and Claire, who had never
been out with them before, had left ages ago, horrified.
Deciding enough was enough, Hazel tried to hail a cab.

'Don't wanna go home. Wanna go Dover Street wine
bar,' Chelle slurred.

Slowing down, the cabbie pulled away immediately on
seeing his would-be fare. Comforting Julie, Hazel didn't
realise the commotion happening behind her. Chelle had
purposely tucked her skirt into her thong. Swinging around
the lamp-post as though she was a lap dancer in Spearmint
Rhino, Chelle treated every commuter leaving work to a
view of her big fat arse. Unfortunately for Chelle, spinning
around a lamp-post wasn't the greatest idea she'd
ever had. She immediately felt dizzy, collapsed onto the
pavement and hit her head. Unable to wake her, Hazel
ordered the girls to drag Chelle to a nearby doorway.
Hazel rang her eldest boy, Aaron, and ordered him to
come and collect them and to get there fast.

* * *

Holding DJ above his head, Jamie watched him smile.
He was a cute kid, a proper little boy, and he'd grown to
love him as though he was his own. As he handed him
back to Billie Jo, he glanced at his watch. 'I suppose I'd
better make tracks now, Bill.'

'Don't go, Jamie. You've been a star today, driving
me all the way to Brixton. Let me cook you dinner as a
thank-you.'

Jamie didn't need much persuading. Smiling, he
snatched the baby back and sank onto the sofa. The last
few months, being around Billie and the boy had made
him the happiest he'd ever been. He'd accepted ages
ago that friendship was all that there was between him
and Bill. Once she'd had Danny's baby, any hopes he'd
had of a romance had been well and truly forgotten. He
could honestly say that he loved Billie, but he didn't
look at her in a sexual way, just as a friend. DJ was the
bollocks and Jamie couldn't wait till he met the right
girl himself and had kiddies of his own.

Jamie's hearty laugh caused Billie to poke her head
around the door. DJ was lying on the floor, giggling away
at his tormentor. Ducking out of sight, Billie carried on
watching. Her son loved Jamie and was at his happiest
when he was around. As she heard the sound of the potatoes
boiling over, she dashed back to the stove. Spending
time with Jamie had shown her what family life should
be like. Togetherness, fun and laughter.

Danny was a different breed to Jamie. Could he ever
become the perfect family man? Billie only wished she
knew the answer.

January 2004

Billie Jo sat on the park bench, watching Danny Junior
excitedly feeding the ducks with the loaf of bread she'd
given him.

'Now be careful, Danny, don't go too close to the water,
there's a good boy.'

Chucking the last of the bread at the head of some
poor unsuspecting Canada goose, Danny ran back to where
his mum was sitting and climbed onto the bench next to
her. 'Want McDonald's.'

'Of course, darling,' Billie said, zipping his coat up
tightly. Although the winter sun was shining, it was still
quite nippy. At McDonald's, Danny tucked into his Happy
Meal with a big smile on his face. Billie watched him
affectionately and almost burst with pride when some
people sitting at the next table commented on what a
beautiful little boy he was. Billie popped to Sainsbury's
to get some food shopping and was worn out by the time
she arrived home.

Billie put Danny on one side of her double bed, she
clambered in the other side and read him a story. His eyes
shut almost immediately. Billie crept out of the room so
she didn't wake him and poured herself a glass of chilled
wine. Armed with her
Hello!
and
Heat
magazines, she
quietly returned to the bedroom. Flicking through the
pages, Billie quickly gave up. She had far too much on
her mind to be able to concentrate on celebrity gossip.

There had been so many events and changes in Billie's
life over the last couple of years, that lately she often felt
the need to sit down in silence, and try to think things
through. She'd been happy recently, living on her own,
just her and the child. The two of them had developed a
wonderful understanding and a happy routine.

Danny Junior had grown into a handsome, lovable,
intelligent little boy and Billie Jo idolised every bone in
his body. With his dark spiky hair, his big blue eyes, his
cheeky smile and humorous nature, Danny Junior was a
natural at winning people over. In minutes of meeting
people, even at twenty-seven months old, he had them
eating out of the palm of his chubby hand. Billie Jo kept
him immaculate. Young as he was, DJ had a designer
wardrobe, including Dolce and Gabanna, Timberland,
Nike and Baby Gap. Not a week went by when DJ didn't
have a new pair of trainers, jeans, trackie bottoms or
trendy jacket.

Money hadn't been a problem for Billie Jo. Firstly, she
had the money her dad had invested for her, which she'd
received on her eighteenth birthday. Secondly, Davey
Mullins had turned up round about the same time and
handed her an envelope with five grand in it. He said it
had been her dad's and he wanted to give it to her and
DJ. Billie had been over the moon to see him, as he was
now living in Spain.

He'd come in for an hour or so and the pair of them
had spent that time laughing and crying over old times,
with Dave telling her all sorts of funny stories about her
dad. Dave had hugged her as he left and given her his
new phone number, telling her if she ever needed money
or help with anything, he was there for her. Billie had
stood at the door and waved him goodbye, tears flowing
down her face at his kindness. She hadn't wanted to take
his money since Jimmy the Fish sorted her out on a regular
basis. 'It's what your dad would have wanted,' Dave had
insisted as he left.

Hearing DJ stir and whimper, Billie leant over to check
he was OK. He was still sound asleep, but must be having
a bad dream. Kissing him on his forehead, she went into
the kitchen to refill her glass. She rarely drank in front of
her child and usually only indulged in a glass when he was
in bed, whether it be afternoon or evening. Sometimes she
worried that she'd end up like her mother, but deep down
she knew that would never happen. She'd only been drinking
more recently because Danny was due to be released shortly.
Part of her relished the thought of them becoming a family
again and part of her dreaded it. She hadn't told Danny of
her decision yet. She'd kept him waiting.

Billie sipped her drink and thought about all the nice
things that Danny had said and promised her. She really
hoped he was genuine and when he was released they'd
become a proper family and live happily ever after.

Tonight, she would tell him that she was giving him
one more chance. She wasn't thinking of herself when
she had made her mind up, she was thinking of her son.
DJ deserved to have his daddy around him. He also
deserved to live in a nice house and have nice things.
Making her relationship work with Danny was a small
price to pay if it meant keeping her son in the style he'd
become so accustomed to.

'You got a spare fag I can have, Dan?' Fishing about
under his mattress, Danny pulled out an unopened box
of Superkings and chucked them at his cellmate.

'You can have the whole box. I've got plenty to see
me through the next couple of days and I ain't going to
need them after that, am I?'

Carl Smith accepted the box gratefully. 'Cheers, Dan,
you're a top man. I'm gonna miss you when you go, mate.
I wonder who I'll be sharing with next.'

'Dunno,' said Danny. All he was bothered about was
getting out of this shithole. Just two days, two more fucking
days and he was a free man. He couldn't bloody wait.

Danny couldn't wait to see the back of Carl Smith. Life
inside had been an easy ride until he'd been convicted. The
actual court case had been over in days. Jimmy's top-class
brief had laughed the Old Bill's theories and accusations
straight out of court.

Danny's confession had therefore stood up. Once
convicted, he'd been forced to share his living quarters
with a complete dickhead. He'd got a three stretch in the
end, but had ended up doing eighteen months. Jimmy had
sorted him out with a top solicitor. It'd been a different
one to Jimmy's own, as his brief wasn't allowed to represent
more than one person on the same case.

Personal use, the cocaine had gone down as. Danny
had admitted to having a habit and seeing as the gear was
in one big lump, had thankfully got away with it. It could
have swung either way, and had they done him with intent
to supply, Danny would have been looking at a five stretch,
at least.

Telling Carl to 'Shut the fuck up', Danny lay back on
his bunk and pictured his homecoming. He had always
been confident that Billie would take him back, but nevertheless,
he was elated when she'd actually given him the
green light. He was one of the lucky ones, who had a
family to go home to. Some of these geezers on the inside
would give their right arm to be in his position.

Thinking of his time inside, Danny thought of Razor.
He'd looked after him from day one and Danny had
arranged to keep in touch with him on the outside. Razor
was on a long stretch, so seeing one another in the near
future was totally out of the question. 'I reckon the Fish'll
throw a big bash for ya,' Razor had told him only this
morning. Danny didn't expect a mass celebration, but he
did wonder exactly what Jimmy would do for him. A
decent business proposition was what Danny hoped for.
He'd earned it, he deserved it and surely now he was
destined to reap his rewards.

Jimmy the Fish knocked on the grubby-looking door of
the run-down council house and was shocked to see it
opened by two little coloured kids. 'Er, I dunno if I've
got the right flat,' he said, thrown by their appearance.
'I'm a friend of Danny's. I'm looking for Mrs O'Leary.
Does she live here?'

Jermain O'Leary eyed Jimmy suspiciously. Brandon,
the younger of the two, stood behind his brother, picking
his nose.

'Who is it?' Brenda O'Leary marched to the door and
shoved the kids out of the way. 'Get inside, you nosy
little bastards. Who are you?'

'I'm Jimmy the Fish. Are you Mrs O'Leary?'

'Yes, I am. You're Danny's friend, aren't you? He's
spoken highly of you, he has. Come on in, I'll make you
a nice cup of tea.'

The musty, pissy smell hit Jimmy's nostrils as soon
as he got in the hallway and he decided against the cuppa.
'I can't stop, love. I just popped round to let you know
I've organised a surprise party for Danny on Saturday
and I want all his family and friends to be there. It's
being held in the hall at the back of the Cross Keys pub.
The drinks are free, there'll be plenty of grub and kids
are welcome as well.'

Brenda smiled and tried to put on her poshest voice.
A man called Leon had been dropping an envelope round
to her once a fortnight with some cash in it to help her
out while Danny was inside, and she knew that the money
came from the man that stood in front of her. 'I'd love to
come, what time does it start?'

Jimmy edged towards the door. The smell was making
him feel ill and he couldn't wait to get some fresh air.
'We're getting all the friends and family to arrive about
seven. I'm gonna take Danny out for a meal and get him
there about half past. Oh, by the way, if he pops round
before, don't mention it to him, as I want it to be a
surprise.'

Brenda let out a huff. 'There's not much chance of me
seeing him. Since he's been with that girl, all he does is
pop round and drop money off and he's gone within ten
minutes. I haven't even seen my grandson yet. He promised
he was gonna bring the baby round to me, but he
got locked up soon after, so that was that. Anyone would
think he was ashamed of me.'

Jimmy said goodbye and cursed himself. He was sure
that Danny wouldn't want his mum at the party and who
could fucking well blame him, the state of her? No wonder
he'd never mentioned his family. Still it was too late now,
he'd dropped a clanger and invited her. He just hoped for
Danny's sake that she didn't turn up.

Leon waved goodbye to Michelle and drove off in his car.
Chelle poured herself a vodka and got straight on the
phone to Hazel. 'Hazel, you're not doing anything on
Saturday night, are you?'

'No, Chelle. Why?'

'Danny comes out of nick tomorrow and there's a big
surprise party being held for him. One of Jimmy the
Fish's boys has just been round here to invite me. Do
you fancy it?'

'Where is it?' Hazel hoped it was somewhere plush.
She knew that once Michelle got a bee in her bonnet,
she'd be made to go anyway, whether she wanted to or
not.

'The Cross Keys in Dagenham, but don't be put off
by that. There's a free bar all night, a disco, a karaoke
and it's bound to be full of villains if it's anything to do
with Jimmy.'

'Fucking hell, Chelle. How can we go for a night out
in Dagenham? What are we meant to wear, bulletproof
vests? It'll be like something off the
Trisha
show.'

Michelle couldn't help laughing. 'Oh, go on, Hazel,
come with me. You know how close I was to Danny.
I had the hump with him over the visit stuff, but now I
can't wait to see him again. There has to be some eligible
men there for me and you. Every bloke I meet nowadays
hasn't got a pot to piss in. The last one that chatted me
up was a bus driver, for fuck's sake. At least we know
most of them there, and if they're Jimmy's pals they're
bound to have a few bob.'

'All right then. A night out in Dagenham, I can't bloody
wait.'

Hazel sighed as she switched her phone off. Chelle
was a bloody nuisance and would probably be the death
of her, but she loved her all the same. They'd fallen out
briefly a while back, when she'd confronted Chelle over
her drinking. Chelle had been furious at her interference.

'Who are you all of a sudden? Mother Fucking
Teresa!' she'd shouted at her indignantly. 'Don't come
round my house being all self-righteous. I thought you
was my friend, Hazel. If all of a sudden I've become an
embarrassment to you, it's best you fuck off and don't
come back.'

Hazel had slunk off with her tail between her legs. She
hated falling out with people and had truly had her best
pal's interests at heart. Chelle had rung her within days.
They'd rekindled their friendship immediately and Hazel
had decided that unless asked, she would never interfere
with how Chelle lived her life again.

Chelle smiled to herself. She knew Hazel wouldn't let
her down and all she had to do now was plan her outfit.
Knocking back her vodka in one, Chelle picked up her
keys, jumped in her car and headed straight to Bluewater.

Hearing the bell ring, Billie Jo answered the door and
was surprised to see Jimmy the Fish standing there. He
normally sent somebody else to her house, whether it be
for financial reasons or a lift to the prison. She'd only
ever had one visit from Jimmy before. It had been when
Danny had first been locked up and he had called in to
assure her that she had nothing to worry about.

'All right, what's up? Is something wrong?' Billie's
first thought was that something had happened to Danny.

'Nothing's wrong, love. I just popped round to tell you
that I've organised a surprise party for Danny on Saturday
night, at the hall in the back of the Keys. I didn't know
if you would want to get a babysitter, or bring young
Danny with you. There's plenty of kids going, so your
little 'un will have the time of his life. What I'm gonna
do is pick Danny up late Saturday afternoon and take him
for a meal. I'll drag him down the Keys after and tell
him we're just popping in for a quickie. Unbeknown to him,
all his family and friends will be waiting there. All the
drinks are on me. I've laid on a load of food, a disco and
a karaoke. What do you think? Will Danny be chuffed or
will Danny be chuffed?'

'Yeah, he'll love it,' Billie said unenthusiastically.
Thanking Jimmy, she said goodbye. Sitting down on the
sofa cuddling Danny Junior, Billie Jo could have cried.
She craved normality, not a bloody big party.

Mixing with a load of lowlifes and watching Danny
being patted on the back every five minutes like he was
some kind of a fucking hero wasn't Billie's idea of a good
night out. Still, it was only one night out of her life. She
was his partner, the mother of his child. It would look
awful if she didn't turn up.