Big Strong Bear (5 page)

He reached out a hand. “Come on. Let’s have breakfast. I’m making French toast.”

She sniffed the air. “Speaking of which, I think it’s burning.”

He cursed and ran from the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts and laughing softly at the situation.

She didn’t know if things could ever go back to normal, but at least they’d been addressed. She took a deep breath, pushed the bitterness aside, and walked out of the bedroom and into the light.

A
fter Hades put
out the small fire that resulted from the untended breakfast he’d been making, he started over from scratch, aware of Cassie’s soft eyes watching him as he worked.

It was a scene he was well familiar with, yet it felt new and fresh, like they were starting again.

He’d never wanted to bring up how cold he’d been when he was first back. How many times he’d sent her away, not wanting her to see him as a monster, while he’d been waiting for his scars to heal.

Perhaps, cowardly, he’d been hoping if he didn’t say anything, it would just go away magically.

But when she’d run from him this morning, he knew the only option left was to admit his fault and apologize. It must have hurt her a lot to be closed out, left in the cold.

It must have been confusing when he did come back, wanting her. He could only hope it was her anger at his actions that spurred her rejection, not that she hated some part of him he couldn’t change.

Like his war trauma or his scars.

But as he served her French toast, encouraging her to eat until she begged for mercy, he was just sorry he hadn’t apologized sooner.

He loved seeing her smile, seeing her cared for and safe. This was his purpose in life, the original reason he’d joined the army, to give them a life together. And now he was on the way to getting it all back.

She groaned and sat on the couch. “I’m stuffed. You’re relentless.”

He grinned. “Gotta maintain those curves. Besides, you looked like you could use a good meal.”

She shook her head. “Only you would say that.”

“I know you better than most,” he said. “And I know how you’re happiest.”

She frowned, and he could see a shadow of the bitterness threatening to overtake her. But she pushed it away, and he was grateful. “I know.”

He moved to sit beside her. “What do you want to do?”

She looked up. “What do you mean? Don’t we just have to wait here?”

“Nonsense. We can hike, climb. Whatever. As long as I’m with you, you’ll be safe.”

She shuddered, and he wasn’t even sure exactly what had caused it. He wanted to put an arm around her, was about to when a knock sounded at the door.

He gave her a quick look of warning and then stood slowly, approaching the door as he pulled a weapon out of his concealed side holster.

He heard a gasp from her at seeing his weapon, but this was something she should probably learn now if she hadn’t already.

These days, he was always armed.

“Hades? You put that gun away,” Ares said. “I’ve got my mate here with me, and I’m about to kick down that door on you if you don’t holster your piece.”

He sighed and did as Ares said. No point holding a weapon on a friend, and he definitely didn’t want to frighten a woman. When it was tucked away, he opened the door.

Ares, his blond, movie-star good-looking friend, and Kat, his curvy, dark-haired, dark-skinned mate, were standing on the porch. Ares looked curious; Kat looked wary.

Hades knew why they were there. To see what the infamous Hades looked like when trying to woo a woman. They probably thought it was hilarious and decided to pester him in person after being so unhelpful over the phone.

“What are you doing here?” he asked grumpily, angry to be interrupted and because they’d startled his mate.

Ares pushed past him, walking in the house and looking around until he saw Cassie in the middle. He held his mate around the middle and grinned over at Hades. “She’s beautiful.”

His mate ribbed him, and he laughed and corrected himself. “For Hades, I mean.” He walked forward and reached out to take Cassie’s hand. “I’m Ares, this grumpy Gus’s friend,” he said. “Nice to meet you.”

Kat put out a hand and introduced herself as well, and Cassie gave Hades a confused look as they all sat down to talk.

“So how do you know Hades?” Kat asked, looking interested.

Hades sighed and sat back in his seat, impatient to be alone with his mate again and continue winning her over.

Cassie bit her lip and tucked back a curl. He waited for it to spring free, counting three seconds until it did, making him grin. “We grew up together. Well, more or less. After he moved out of Richmond that is.”

Ares grinned and gave Hades a knowing glare. “So the kid from the gutter won over the prom queen. Is that it?”

“I was hardly the prom queen,” Cassie said with a snort. “More like the library queen.”

Kat grinned. “Me too.”

The women looked like they would get along fine, and Hades assumed that was a good thing. An advantage. In winning over Cassie, he’d take any advantage he could get.

“Anyway,” Hades said. “We’ve known each other a long time.”

“Though I always knew him as John,” Cassie said.

“John,” Kat said, giving Hades a mischievous look. “Should we be calling you that too?”

Ares shook his head, wrinkling his nose. “No way. Not when you’ve seen the kind of hell this man can raise. John is just not right anymore.”

Cassie looked uncomfortable about that, and Hades wanted to punch Ares for making her feel that way. Ares seemed to quickly pick up on what was wrong, and changed the subject.

“Anyway, Kat and I were going up to visit Zeus and Carly for lunch. Wanted to know if you two wanted to join?”

Cassie looked at John curiously, then back at Ares. “Well, we did just eat.”

“Great, that leaves time for us to play games and get to know each other before eating,” Kat said.

Cassie looked uncertain, but there was a slight glow in her eyes that meant she was excited, so Hades nodded.

“Fine, not like we had plans anyway,” he said. “I’ll just change and then we’ll head out.”

Ares nodded, looking pleased with himself, and Hades groaned as he left the room.

The girls started chatting eagerly, getting to know each other.

He didn’t really like being around a lot of people at once. He found it overwhelming. Especially when those people seemed to find the idea of him courting a woman hilarious.

But if it would make Cassie comfortable, he would walk across fire. So enduring Ares’s teasing wouldn’t be too bad in comparison.

He hoped.

A
fter lunch
with Hades’s friends, Cassie was feeling remarkably relaxed.

Zeus, a tall, quiet man with brown hair and blue eyes, had a calming presence that he shared with his wife, a sweet, curvaceous woman that seemed head over heels for her bear.

She found it interesting that both Zeus and Ares were bears, but their mates were human. She knew female bears like her were rare, but she’d never thought about mating with a human.

Maybe because her fated mate had always been a very big, very strong bear.

Even Hades seemed to lighten up after some games and good food. She would catch him sending her inquiring glances, and she’d grin at him here and there. There was a chemistry building between them that couldn’t be stopped.

After they said good-bye to his friends, Hades had put out an arm for her to take as they walked back to his car. She’d taken it, loving the solid, rock-hard feel of his muscles underneath her touch.

Nothing in the world felt like he did.

She wanted to feel more of him. Her bear ached for it. With her deciding to put the past behind them, or at least try, it was that much harder to resist him.

It was a powerful force of nature, a bear’s call for its mate.

She knew he must be feeling it as well.

It didn’t help that there were so many memories. So many times they’d shared their bodies, in every way but the one what would seal them together as mates.

That
they had avoided.

He was a puzzle, this dark, scarred version of the man she’d known. He could laugh when his friends were teasing him or become instantly grumpy when provoked. He could send her smoldering stares that made her instantly wet or give her calm looks that promised forever.

Each time she looked in his eyes, she remembered something new. Things she’d been trying to forget ever since the day she’d told him good-bye.

Now she regretted that day altogether.

Or did she? She’d done what she had to in order to feel sane. She supposed she just regretted they’d lost any time, whoever’s fault it was.

Maybe at the end of this, it would all go down in flames and she’d regret having gotten involved again. But she’d only been with him for two days and she was already happier than she’d been in a long time.

Even if she was more afraid of him than she’d been in a long time.

“Hades?” she asked.

He sighed. “I’d tell you to call me John, but it’s not working anyway.”

“I go back and forth,” she said. “Sometimes you seem more like John to me. Other times, Hades.”

He quirked a brow. “Oh?”

“Yes,” she said. “Sometimes I see the boy I knew. Other times a man hardened by fire.”

His expression tightened, as did his hold on the wheel, which looked small beneath his massive hands. “I see.”

“But I have nothing against either one. I’m just trying to get to know you.”

“Yet, on some level, you do know me. You’ve always known me,” he said, his voice deep and serious.

And heart-meltingly sexy.

“I know,” she said. It was true. At least she’d thought she’d known him. It was just that one thing that had shaken her. And she was doing her best to put it away.

Because dwelling on it had never made her happy. But putting it aside, giving the man she’d always loved a chance, that was making her happy. That had to mean something.

“What do you want to do when we get home?” she asked.

He stretched. “I’m not sure. Maybe a shower? I’m feeling sweaty after all.”

She gulped. Would he still want her nearby?

“You don’t have to come in,” he said. “As long as you keep the doors locked and I go quick, it should be okay.” He ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

She nodded. Yes. She should avoid making things awkward. But the thought of his body, naked and covered in running water, so hot with his battle scars and rippling muscles… It was making her melt inside.

Would she really be able to stay outside the bathroom when all that goodness was inside?

She twisted in her chair and caught a ghost of a smile on his lips before it vanished.

“You’re welcome to join me, of course,” he said.

“Humph,” she said. “As if I’d want to.”

“Your call,” he said calmly, palming the wheel and shifting the gears in a capable way that just made her think of more things he could do with those hands.

It had been so long since she’d been with someone. Well, since he was the only one she’d ever been with, it’d been so long in general. She ached just for the pleasure of it. The relief.

The intimacy worried her, though. The first step in giving her heart to him would be giving her body.

But by the way she was practically dissolving inside, she knew it was as good as done. The longer she was in that cabin, the more likely it became that she’d jump him in his sleep.

She heard a low chuckle and turned to look out the window, trying to force herself to think unsexy thoughts.

“It’s okay, kitten,” he said softly. “I want you too. But I’ll wait until you’re ready.”

She grumbled to herself as they pulled onto the gravel drive. His ability to put her first, to wait for her, just made him that much sexier.

The stupid man was going to drive her insane with lust by the time this was over.

H
ades hadn’t been
in the shower long when he sensed his mate had come in.

She’d been sneaky. He’d give her that. He hadn’t heard the door or her footsteps. But he could scent her and knew she was near. The master bathroom was large, and she was probably at the doorway, peeking around.

The thought made him instantly aroused.

And then there was a part of him that felt insecure, wanted to cover up. Didn’t want her to see the damage.

But he resisted that feeling. He knew if they were going to be together, he had to get over that and let her see him for who he was.

Being insecure had only ruined things before, made him push her away, made him hurt her without meaning to.

He wouldn’t do that again, even it meant letting her see the parts of him he’d rather keep hidden.

He could scent her arousal, and he was pleased down to a deep part of himself to know his mate still reacted to his body.

Well, could he keep calling her mate? They were barely getting along. Aside from a history of caring and a deep, strong attraction, there was nothing between them.

Well, that and the fact that he was protecting her.

He’d meant to take a short shower so he could be back and protecting her, keeping an eye on her before she’d even know the difference.

But now that he could feel her eyes, feel the sensuality of her being a voyeur, he decided to take his time.

He had a man back in their hometown watching the office of the loan sharks. If they made a move to leave, he would know about it.

Since coming back from the army, Hades had made a good business in consulting on anti-hacking for people, and hacking on occasion. Not to mention dealing in custom weapons modifications. Not that he needed the money. Zeus was a finance whiz and had made sure Ares’s and Hades’s investments paid well in the years they’d been gone.

He wouldn’t have to work again if he didn’t want to. But he needed something to occupy the hours. To keep him busy and keep his mind off what he’d lost.

Except, if he had a chance to get Cassie back, he wouldn’t really have lost anything.

He slowly ran soap over his body, over his shoulders, which he knew she loved the width of, over his defined, large pecs, and then over his washboard abs.

He dipped lower, naughtily moving the soap over his now hard member, and grinned when he heard a small, feminine sigh. Dammit, he wasn’t going to make it through the shower at this rate. Vanilla and violet surged in the air, making it hard to breathe, and he turned up the water, making steam fill the air.

It only made it harder not to think of her. Of her cute face, her soft body. Her curls, which were just as blond and curly down below as they were above.

He groaned as he rinsed the soap from his body. When he was done, he turned off the shower, wishing his erection would go down before he had to step out. He didn’t want to make things awkward. He was happy for her to watch him. Happy to please her. But he also wanted to wait. To make sure when something happened, it happened because she wanted him forever. Not just for a moment.

He started to step out of the shower and grinned when he heard the door shut and a muffled squeak as she escaped. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist and snatched another to run over his hair, leaving it damp. When he was mostly dry, he opened the door and peeked out, seeing if she was visible.

The scent of her filled the room, and he looked up to see her lying on her side on the bed, wearing only a nightgown and looking up at him with pure lust in her eyes.

A look he’d seen her wear so often, one that always preceded him taking her to heights of never before experienced ecstasy.

Perhaps some things really were the same after all.

She wanted him.

He walked to the bed, and she got on her knees to meet him. Overwhelmed by her scent, by the call of his bear and the silence of the mountains around him, he took her face in both hands and kissed her deeply, his tongue sweeping through her mouth as her body rocked against him. Soft, familiar curves. He wrapped his arms around her and sank his head into the crook of her neck. She gasped when he breathed against her, accidentally stimulating the sensitive skin.

Damn, he loved that he still had that effect on her.

A lifetime of fighting was worth even one moment of this with her. Loving her. Staying with her.

Her body was different than it had been at eighteen or twenty-one or twenty-five. It was womanly, soft, heavenly. He was bigger than he’d been, more filled out, more masculine. She felt tiny compared to him, but it didn’t matter, because he knew he’d always protect her.

In fact, he’d always liked that she was small. It meant he could pin her and pleasure her and make love to her up against a wall while holding under her thighs.

Well, she might not have been small to other men, but even with her considerable (and luscious) curves, she was tiny to him.

Damn, he could think of all the ways he wanted to do her. In the shower, up against the wall. When he’d been home the few times he was on leave, there had never been time for much. And he’d always wanted to be respectful. Sometimes just cuddling was enough, just holding her and talking to her and getting to know her all over again.

Even though each time had been like coming home.

She groaned as he softly bit the skin of her shoulder, licking it as he released it before moving down her arm to bring her hand to his mouth. He sucked slowly on the tip of her pinky, watching her gray-blue eyes go dark with lust as he flicked his tongue over the tip.

He knew where else he wanted his mouth. He reached around her, supporting her lower back, and she arched, presenting her chest to him. He pressed a kiss at the base of her neck and then between her breasts, just teasing lightly, not going too far.

He’d give her a little something in payback for watching him in the shower. Just enough to remind both of them how magical they could be together.

His mouth found her nipple just as his hand found her clit, and he rubbed softly in time with each stroke of his tongue. He treasured the increase in her breathing, the rising pressure in her body, the little gasps she emitted as her hands found his hair and twisted in.

The scream she let out as she came, quickly, because he knew exactly where and how she liked to be touched. He didn’t let up, pressing his lips to hers in a deep kiss as his hand stroked harder, faster, dipping inside her where it was wet and hot and then sliding back up to rub over the swollen nub begging for his touch.

She moaned and thrust against him, and he supported her fully as she arched back in pleasure and his mouth found her other breast, teasing it until she found completion. She screamed again, louder this time, as her hands moved from his hair down to his back, raking it and leaving scratches he’d savor the feel of in the morning.

Knowing he’d pleased her, it was the best feeling in the world.

With ultimate precision, he stroked her again, teasing her as she gasped against him, her lips finding his shoulder and kissing him as she moved toward another orgasm. But this time, he wanted inside her. This time, he wanted to feel her around him as he went. He dipped two fingers inside her and she panted.

“I want you,” he said. “Here.”

“Take me,” she said. “Now.”

He pulled off his shirt, and she ran her nails down over his chest, growling with lust. He pulled off his towel with her help and then retrieved a condom, quickly unwrapping it and rolling it on. Then he lifted her and teased her entrance before dropping her over him and sheathing himself inside her in one smooth motion.

Her mouth tightened in pleasure, her eyes closed, and she arched, taking in all of him. She was tight, so incredibly tight, but a perfect fit like always. Like they’d been made for each other.

She let out a loud sigh and began to move against him, and he put his hands on her soft waist and lifted her, slowly, then faster, savoring each exquisite stroke. She gasped, panted, moaned for more as he increased the pace, going all the way out and then all the way in.

But it wasn’t enough. He wanted more, faster. He flipped her onto her back, savoring the surprise in her eyes and then instant arousal as he pinned her hands over her head. He was in charge. He would keep her safe. And he would damn well please her until she couldn’t walk straight.

He thrust in deep, deeper than ever before, and her eyes widened and she bit her lip.

“Yes. Oh, yes,” she gasped out, wriggling to try and meet him even more. “So full.”

“So tight,” he said. “I want to be in every part of you.”

“You are,” she said.

It still wasn’t enough. He curled around her, releasing her hands to stroke her hair back as he kissed her lips. “I want your heart.”

“You have it,” she said. “Even when it was broken, you had it.”

“Good,” he said. “I’ll never let anything happen to it again.”

She moaned and pushed against him, and he continued stroking. Pulling out to the tip, teasing her as she writhed, and then shoving in deep, over her G-spot in a way that made her scream with sensation, and then starting over again. In and out. Over and over, holding on until she went once and then again. Wringing him each time, sending him to heights of euphoria that made it nearly impossible to hang on. But he wanted to.

He hadn’t been inside her for so long. He wouldn’t rush it. As she gasped out her latest release, her whole body trembling from the pressure, he slowed things down, taking her hands in his, intertwining their fingers.

He wanted to touch her. Wanted to be gentle and look in her eyes. Wanted each stroke to be sweet agony in its anticipation.

“You’re torturing me,” she said, voice tight, body tensed.

“You love it,” he said.

“I know,” she replied. “What’s wrong with me?”

“You’re mine,” he declared, keeping her hands by her head. “There’s nothing wrong with you. We’re made for each other. We’re mates.”

A flash of something went through her eyes, but then he stroked deep and pleasure overtook everything once again.

“Why does that…? How can it feel so good? Every time…” She moaned.

“Every time,” he said. “Because you’re made for me.”

“There’s never been anyone else,” she said.

He growled. The thought pleased him. Even when he’d offended her, she’d waited. “There’s never been anyone for me either.”

Her eyes flew open and she looked like she was going to say something. But then he stroked deep and she bit her lip as pleasure overtook her, her eyes going wide as the strongest orgasm yet ripped through her, the power of it taking him with her.

He bit back an oath as he spilled his seed, with protection between them. It was amazing, a feeling unlike any other, his whole body surging with emotion as she surrounded him. He could feel her pulsing around him as he went, her soft hands against his. It was amazing. She was… crying?

She was sobbing, and his orgasm instantly died as he realized it. He bit down and pulled out, grabbing a towel to clean up so he could come back to her. She curled away from him on the bed, hands over her face.

“I’m trying to accept things,” she said. “But you have to go and lie to me?”

He stared at her in mute shock. “I haven’t lied to you.” He felt vulnerable and naked and didn’t see how something amazing had so quickly become something awkward
.

She gave him an angry glare. He couldn’t help but think she was still sexy, her hair tousled, her skin glowing, her cheeks reddened in anger.

But he had no idea what he’d done to upset her. She got up, pulling her nightgown over her, and made as if to leave the room. He was off the bed in a second, holding her against him, using all his considerable strength to keep her from leaving.

They couldn’t make any progress if they didn’t talk things through.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “How have I lied?”

She flashed him a look. “You know. You as much as admitted to it earlier.”

“What? When I apologized for keeping you out of the house?” he asked, puzzled.

Her glare intensified as she jerked away from him. “That’s all you were apologizing for?”

“Yes!” he said, running his hands through his hair. “That’s all there was!”

“Liar!” she said, tears coming to her eyes again. Tears of anger. “I can’t believe I let you do this to me again. I thought you’d… I thought you came clean. And you’re going to pretend—”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know why you had to go and ruin something wonderful.”

She gasped. “
I
ruined something wonderful? Ha!
You
did. You said there was no one else. How can you even say that?”

He took her by the shoulders. “What are you even talking about? Just come back to bed. Talk to me.”

Her eyes flashed, and he saw vulnerability, sadness beneath the anger and arousal. He didn’t know what he’d done, but he was getting slightly angry he was being hung without a jury.

He let her go, sorrow rushing through him. Whatever she thought he’d done, she wouldn’t even give him a chance to address it. He again pushed his hands through his hair angrily, not having even the slightest clue what could be pissing her off.

She narrowed her eyes at him, unbelievably beautiful and unbelievably pissed. “You know what you’ve done. When you’re ready to talk about it, you can come see me.” She slammed the door behind her, and he yanked it open so he could yell down the hallway as she escaped to a spare bedroom at the end of the hall.

“There’s nothing to talk about because I didn’t do anything,” he insisted, wishing they were cuddling in the afterglow right now, rather than fighting.

She stuck her tongue out at him and shut the door.

He shut his and walked to the bed with a huff, plopping on the mattress. Sticking her tongue out, seriously? Were they eighteen again?

He flopped onto his back. No. But he wished they were.