Big Sexy Bear (8 page)

She understood that but wasn’t sure if she could really separate the two.

And Ben would just be sending even worse men now that he knew what they were up against.

There would just be more violence in general. More for Mac to be exposed to. More of what she didn’t want.

Life was cruel sometimes.

The last few days had been heaven. The kind of life she and Mac had enjoyed before Ben started chasing them. Except better, because with Ares around, their little family had been complete.

But they couldn’t go back to being a normal family anymore. Not now that men had died and Ares had revealed himself as someone other than the man she thought she knew.

But maybe just because it couldn’t be simple or normal, it didn’t mean it still couldn’t work out.

Somehow.

When they stopped in front of Ares’s house, Kat looked up at it with wide, stunned eyes. “This is yours?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

To say it was foreboding was an understatement. It was more of a fortress than a house, with a huge concrete wall around it and a large metal gate that slid open to allow them entrance. Ares pulled into the driveway and then got out.

Maude carried Mac to the front door as Ares went ahead and unlocked it.

Kat just stared up at the cold house, understanding now why Ares hadn’t taken her there yet.

He didn’t want her to know there was anything wrong with him. And judging by this house, there was definitely something off.

Just who knew how to use guns like that? Was he some kind of crazy vigilante? A construction worker who fought bad guys in his spare time? She guessed she’d figure out soon enough.

“I promise it’s better inside,” he said, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a grin. “Come on.”

He opened the door, and Maude walked inside. Katrina kept her arms around her as she went in the entryway. Her jaw dropped at the luxuriousness of the interior. Plush carpet, hand-carved wooden furniture.

Paintings of the surrounding mountainsides mounted on the walls and over the mantle of an impressive stone fireplace. She sat in one of the chairs, mouth still agape in shock.

Ares stood next to her, looking down quietly as if he didn’t know what to say or do.

Maude looked between them and seemed to sense something was wrong. “I’m going to get Mac something to eat and then show him your downstairs theatre.” Mac perked up and looked at her and she ruffled his hair. “You’d like that, right?”

He nodded and nuzzled against her, and Kat’s heart nearly broke in two. They were so at home here. With Maude as Mac’s adopted grandmother and Ares as his adopted father and protector.

But where did her relationship with Ares fit into all of this? And what really were the chances they could get Ben to stop coming after them?

After Maude pulled several packages and some plates out of the cupboards and then disappeared downstairs with Mac, sending a kind, reassuring smile at Kat as she went, Ares settled in the chair across from her with a sigh.

She looked at him as he shed his jacket, pulled off his holsters, and then walked to a closet near the front door and opened something heavy that sounded like a safe. He closed it with a loud clank and came back into view, looking weary and beaten.

When he sat again, he put his hand through his hair, more ruffled than she’d ever seen him.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

His eyes flew open, flashing a bright emerald green. “Am I okay?” He shook his head, a vein twitching at the side of his eyebrow. “I’m not the one who was nearly kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped,” she corrected with a small grin. “Kidnapped and then rescued.” Somehow his weariness calmed her in a way nothing else could have. He hadn’t liked what he had to do. He wasn’t nearly as cold as he’d seemed when he saved them.

He’d just done what he had to do.

She stood slowly and walked over to him, putting her hands in his hair to try to soothe away whatever pain he was feeling. Instead, he pulled her into his lap, cradling her close and shaking slightly under her.

“I’m fine,” she said.

“I didn’t want you to see all of that. But I’m a soldier, Kat. When those I love are in danger, it just comes out in me. I always knew it would if those men you talked about came after you, but I didn’t want it to. I want you to look at me the same way. I can already tell you don’t.”

“I was shocked,” she said against his chest. “You can’t expect me not to be. That doesn’t mean I’m rejecting you, though. You saved us, just like you promised. There’s nothing to be ashamed of there.”

“I am who I am,” he said. “I’ve done things in the name of freedom and country other people can’t conceive of. I’ve done what I had to, but in some ways, it left me a shell of who I am. I had to turn off my humanity to do some of the things I had to do. When I came back, I turned it on,” he said, holding her tight. “I don’t like my inner darkness, but I still need it sometimes.”

“This fortress is really something,” she said, looking around.

He sighed. “I guess it does say something about the mindset I was in when I came back. On the outside, I felt like this unforgivable soldier no one could understand. I know I did what I was supposed to, that I saved lives by laying down cover fire. That doesn’t mean I liked it. That doesn’t mean the soft part of me didn’t die having to do it.”

She nodded. “We’re grateful people like you do it so people like me don’t have to.”

“But you don’t want to be with people like me, do you?” he asked hoarsely. “Someone who has done what I’ve done—”

She caught his face in her hands, stopping him. “Stop it. You aren’t what you’ve done. You are who you are, someone who did hard things because they were necessary. Someone who’s still suffering with it behind that happy face.”

He froze, looking at her as if he didn’t know what to say.

Maybe he didn’t, but for once, she did.

“I don’t care what you’ve done or where you’ve been,” she said. “It brought you here to me. I think it’s amazing you’ve been able to put away so much of it, to be the bright, funny man I met that night in the rain. Someone who still insists on helping people in his own way, even if it brings back the darkness.”

His head lowered, but she could see the emotion welling in his eyes.

She stroked his hair. “We’re safe. I was shocked. But now that I see how you really feel, I’m just grateful you were willing to become that person again for me and Mac when you could have just walked away from us.”

“I couldn’t have walked away from you,” he said. “Never.”

“I’m glad,” she said. “I’m not going to walk away from you either. We do need to talk, though, about what’s happening next.”

He nodded, but just then, a knock sounded on the front door. Ares raised an eyebrow and set Kat gently off his lap as he stood to check it out. He put out a hand for her to stay put, and she did, hands over her mouth.

She didn’t think she could take any more stress for the day.

When Ares looked through the peephole and then opened the door, she saw the mysterious man from earlier standing in the doorway.

“Hades,” Ares said, and then the two clapped each other in a brotherly hug, leaving Kat wondering just what was going on.

T
he man walking
into the house with Ares was one of the most intimidating she’d ever seen.

It wasn’t just his pitch-black hair, which curled around his collar after he took off his cowboy hat.

Or the scars covering the right side of his face in a way that somehow just made him look that much hotter and more dangerous.

Or the beautiful fallen angel features of his face, carved in hard angles like a statue in a museum.

It was his eyes, the color of smoke and seething with an intensity that seemed to be ever burning.

Such a haunting shade of gray.

His intensely curved, perfect lips pursed as he studied her. He was tall, maybe even taller than Ares, and just as heavily muscled but a little more defined. As he shrugged out of his leather jacket, she saw each distinct muscle in his forearms.

She sort of wanted to sit him down and make him eat more, but she got the feeling no one made him do anything he didn’t want to.

When he was turned to the side, all smooth skin and dark hair and striking brows, she caught her breath at his beauty. But then he would turn and she’d see the scars streaking over his cheek and forehead as if he’d caught something from the side, like an explosion. And then he went from looking like an angel to a sinful demon straight out of hell.

Ares sensed her discomfort and came over, scooping her up possessively into his lap and taking the couch while Hades sat gracefully into a chair, facing them.

His intense gaze stayed on her. She cringed slightly, and Ares’s arm came around her.

“Stop it,” he said. “You’re making her uncomfortable.”

“Sorry,” Hades said in a low, raspy voice, not sounding sorry at all. “So, like Zeus, you’re getting all mushy over a mate?”

Ares’s eyes snapped to Hades. “Careful, Hades. She doesn’t know.”

Hades tilted his head, narrowing his eyes to a deep silver as he stared at her, his dark hair falling over his face. She guessed he wore it long to somewhat hide the scars. Like the hat he wore.

She didn’t know why he bothered. With his masculine, gorgeous face and tall, muscled body, the scars only heightened his dangerous appeal.

For another woman, that was.

For her, Ares’s sunshine was the perfect shelter. She looked up at his handsome face, those gorgeous eyes, that soft, thick hair that liked to stick every which way after she’d had her hands in it, and knew she was definitely falling in love.

If she wasn’t fully in love already.

“So what happened after I left?” Ares asked.

Hades slowly raised one hand and pulled one leather glove off and then the other. His right hand was scarred like his face, with little horizontal lines going across it. He noted her gaze on him, and she looked away, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” she said.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Hades answered in that low voice. “After you left, I spoke with the local police. I also arranged for some of my… friends to come pick up the bodies. They’ll see if anyone is interested in retrieving them.”

“I see,” Ares said.

“Luckily, the cops around here, the people around here in general really, don’t want trouble. And there I was, offering to take it all off their hands.” He sat forward, clasping his long fingers around one of his knees. “But on the other hand, people are going to hear about what happened.” He gestured to Kat. “People who are after your girlfriend here.”

“Who is he?” Kat asked. “How does he know?”

“I got in touch with him the night I picked you up,” Ares said, looking reluctant. Hades just leaned back in the chair and stared at them, as if their awkwardness had nothing to do with him at all. “You see, I knew you were running from someone, and I took a picture of your plates when I took it into the repair shop and sent it to him to see if he could find out who was looking for you.”

“Why him?” she asked, baffled.

“Because he has friends in low places,” he said. “In places I would never know how to navigate. There’s enough darkness inside me that I prefer to stay in the sunlight as much as I can now.”

“That’s why he’s settled in Sunnyville, USA. But it’s appropriate that someone named Hades is familiar with the underworld, isn’t it?” Hades asked sardonically. “Nonetheless, it’s where I was born, and I’ll never fully escape the people there. Still, they’re my acquaintances, not my friends.”

Ares shook his head. “Hades can be cryptic at times, but there’s no one you’d rather have around in a tight spot.”

Katrina guessed that was true.

“Well now, there’s our friend Zeus. Don’t leave him out,” Hades said.

“Who?” Kat asked.

“Our squadron leader in the Special Forces when we were in the army together,” he said. “Honestly, Ares, have you told her nothing?” Hades raised a dark eyebrow, and even Ares squirmed under his gaze.

“Not all of us revel in our dark pasts,” Ares retorted.

Hades snorted but didn’t seem too offended. “Anyway, Zeus settled out here too, thanks to Ares, so if you stick around long, you’ll probably meet him and his mate.”

Kat was surprised she hadn’t met them yet.

“I couldn’t take you there yet because Hades was staying there,” Ares explained. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to hide everything from you. But you made it sound like I had only a few days to win you over, and I didn’t want to spend it talking about what I did in the war.”

She nodded slowly. There were always going to be things you didn’t know about the people you loved. You could only hope they planned to tell you eventually and their reasons for not telling you weren’t completely selfish.

In this case, she was glad he hadn’t just dumped it on her. Then she would have been worrying about how to interpret his past, when instead, she got to have fun, safety, and relaxation like she hadn’t had in a long time.

And now she would deal with the rest of the things Ares chose to reveal to her as they came.

What mattered was she felt safe with him and he’d proved he could and would protect her.

That made something amazing possible. Like staying here with him forever. She looked up at Ares and saw him gazing down at her tenderly.

“Mushiness in the air.” Hades scoffed, standing. “That’s my cue to leave.” He shoved on his gloves and hat and then pulled on his jacket. “I’ll keep you updated when I hear about any new moves. In the meantime, keep the security on and stay inside.”

“The security didn’t stop you,” Kat said skeptically.

Hades sent her a grin that was more of a slash of white in his harsh face. “Nothing does, sweetheart.”

She was left speechless by that, and then Hades disappeared into the dark.

“He’s a hacker as well,” Ares said. “He can get in almost anywhere and unlock almost anything. One of the best in the world.”

“Okay,” she said.

Maude came up from downstairs, holding a sleeping Mac in her arms. “I’m going to take him down to the bedroom in the safe room and stay with him while he sleeps.”

Kat pushed off of Ares’s lap and ran to hug Maude. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for us. I don’t know how we’ll ever repay you.”

Maude flushed and sent Ares an amused look over Kat’s shoulder. “You don’t ever have to repay me. I’m just happy you’ve shared Mac with me.”

“Of course,” Kat said. “You’ve made him as happy as you’ve made me.”

Maude nodded and then released her. “I’m going back downstairs with Mac. I’m shutting the outer door so it’ll be extra quiet.” She gave them a knowing look and then disappeared into the basement.

“Safe room?” Kat asked, looking at Ares as he stood and came over to her. Once again, she was struck by his immense height, more intimidating now that she knew what he was capable of.

But he was still Ares. Gentle, kind, sweet. Capable of dual wielding guns and taking down assholes, yes. But still the man who’d made love to her in the dark on a grassy overlook.

And he seemed to need reassurance she wanted him. He tilted her chin gently with one finger so she was forced to look at him.

“So Special Forces?” she asked shyly.

He nodded and tension rose between them as she studied his face. “If it’s okay with you, though, I’d rather not give a lot of details. That’s my past, and you’re my future. If you really want me to, I’ll tell you more. But if not, I’d prefer to just go forward.”

She nodded, loving the feel of his finger stroking lightly over her jaw and then her cheek.

“I’ll still be that man for you when you want me to. When you need me. But otherwise, I’m just Ares. I’m just the man who found you in the rain and knew he wanted you.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he put a gentle finger to her lips to stop her. The rough feel of his calluses turned her on. However he’d gotten them.

“I know you don’t want to hear about it, that you don’t believe in love at first sight, but it’s so much more than that for me,” he said. “So much more. You’re it for me. You’re mine. I told you this before, but I mean it. I’d kill for you. Die for you. Die without you,” he said, stroking hair behind her ear. “Tell me that what happened today hasn’t ruined everything.”

“Of course it hasn’t,” she said, throwing her arms around him and then drawing back to pull his head down for a kiss. His lips opened in shock, and she slid in her tongue, feeling inside, teasing his tongue to join her. When he did, his arms swept around her and his tongue took her in fierce possession of her mouth. When he finally pulled back, leaving her breathless and her knees like jelly, he let out a breath.

His green eyes were bright and intense, like emeralds that went on forever. “I want to make love to you. Let me see every inch of you. Let me know you’re okay.”

“But Maude and—”

“They’ll never hear us, and we’re safe. So let me use this calm in the eye of the storm to treasure you. Because when this starts up again, my mind will be on one thing and one thing only. Ending every man that stands between me and my happy ending with the woman I love.”

“Love?” she squeaked out.

Ares kept saying things that sounded really committed or interested, but with his smiling face and easygoing manner, she’d never really known what to think about it. Now, though, he was dead serious.

“Love,” he said. “You don’t have to understand it. You just have to accept it.” He swept her up in his arms and headed for a long, dark hallway. At the end of it was a door and behind that was a long spiral staircase leading up to the top floor. She gulped and hung on as he carried her.

Scary soldier Ares was pretty hot too.

“Fine,” she said weakly. “I accept that you love me.”

He kicked open the door in front of him and walked in, tossing her on a huge, plush king-size bed in the middle of the room. “And I’m going to make you love me too, Kat. One day.”

She thought about telling him she already did, but it was just too much for one moment. And too soon.

She admired him for his bravery, but she wasn’t willing to join him in it yet. Not until things worked out between them.

But I am definitely willing to share
this
with you,
she thought as she reached out her arms and he joined her on the bed, taking her mouth in a fierce kiss.

She was definitely willing to feel alive with him in this moment.

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back.

M
aking
love to Katrina that day was different.

As Ares hovered over her, kissing her, loving her, he didn’t feel he had to hold back, had to feel sunny and smiley. He could love her with all the intensity building inside him, and no matter how rough he got, how harshly his lips claimed hers, she never pulled away.

Of course he would never hurt her.

But he loved the gentle press of her hands against his as he pinned them above her head.

“Ares,” she moaned as he moved both her wrists to one of his hands and took her mouth again as his other found her clit. She gasped in pleasure and arched against him, and he slid down against her, letting his chest graze the sensitive nipples aching for attention, causing her to writhe even harder.

Oh, the sheer feel of her. Her soft body pressed to his, just his hand between them, stroking as he moved against her. The gentle undulation of her curves as she moaned out his name and sought even more pleasure.

Her wetness ran over his fingertips, making him glide easily over her and then allowing his fingers to dip in just slightly. Her soft heat almost made him lose it right there. She was too damn beautiful.

Every time he was with her, he couldn’t believe he was getting so lucky.

But especially this time, with the echo of gunfire ringing in his ears and the past with its shame encroaching upon him, to hold her and have her look into his eyes with not the slightest bit of shame or fear or judgment, that was truly heaven. When he went inside her, he knew that’d be it for him, the pinnacle of acceptance he’d never thought to experience.

Something he would seek to be worthy of all of their lives.

The urge to claim her was strong, but there was still so much she didn’t know about him, so much to tell her. And he couldn’t do it now, not when she’d just dealt with the truth of the war he’d been in, the things he’d had to do.

Not after she’d seen him kill for her and worked through her own shock and fear to come to this moment, where she was openly loving him, letting him pin her and love her and pleasure her.

And he would until she couldn’t think anymore. He would wipe away the day for both of them, make the pleasure so great that nothing else mattered.

Make her see what was happening between them was like fireworks that had already been lit, inevitable.

She was his from the moment he saw her in the rain. Even before that. Since she was born, since she was created.

When Zeus had taken a mate, a soul-deep loneliness in Ares had made him long for the same, wonder what it would be like. He knew it had to be powerful because he’d seen his stoic friend spend months pursuing the little woman his bear was set on for a mate.

But he hadn’t understood, no, truly not even close. You had to find your mate to understand just how strong the pull was. He didn’t know if maybe it was extra strong because his mate was extra spectacular. Beautiful, giving, sensitive, trusting.