Read Big Love in a Small Town (Contemporary Romance) Online
Authors: Kate Goldman
***
Tessa knew it had been too good to be true. How many times had she repeated that mantra over and over to herself in the past couple of weeks? At least two hundred times, she figured.
She’d been up all night pacing her living room after Nate had dropped her off following the Waffle House debacle. It was better, she supposed, that it ended now anyway – before she really lost her head and fell completely, irrevocably, face forward in love with him. She would have been an absolute fool to do that, and she saw it now.
How dare he drop the L word after just a few weeks! She knew he was just using it as a last resort to make her less angry with him. Nate didn’t have any idea that it would make her feel so...cheap and used. Maybe other girls before her thrilled at the idea of being told a celebrity was in love with them, and would easily get caught up in the whirlwind romance of it all. Not this girl, oh no.
Tessa had gotten to know, well, assumed that she’d gotten to know, the real Nate Wilder, and in real life, people didn’t just go around pronouncing their love for someone after knowing them for just a few weeks.
Tessa figured that he must have filmed so many movies now that he was having a hard time figuring out what was acceptable in normal, everyday real life, and what was just the stuff made up for fairy tales and chick flicks.
How could he ruin what they had shared like this? Her heart was sad, and she felt empty inside. There was no way she was going to see Nate again and continue to put herself through this torture. After all, she’d only recently ended things with Davis. What happened with Nate just went to prove that she obviously wasn’t ready to start dating again. She should have been better at guarding her heart.
Sure, Nate had sent her dozens of messages and had attempted to call several times already this morning, but Tessa ignored them and would continue to do so. Her heart couldn’t afford to be broken any further, and talking to Nate would make the pain worse. Her heart had already been ravaged by Davis, and what little bit had begun to heal was now completely smashed into tiny pieces by Nate.
She poured herself one more cup of coffee before deciding to finally bite the bullet and get ready for work. Despite her inner turmoil and lack of sleep, she still had to go on with her life. As she showered and dressed, she thought about how thankful she was that she hadn’t really told anyone about her and Nate. How embarrassing would it have been when he left her high and dry for another girl at the next filming location!
Natalie might have known a little bit about Nate from Tessa’s hints, but that could all be smoothed over and chalked up to a misunderstanding.
Yes
, Tessa thought and nodded her head at her reflection in the mirror,
I’ve got this. A little heartbreak, I can handle it. Just keep it together, Tess, and it will all be over soon.
Two months later...
Tessa’s fingers flew across the keyboard. She paused only for a sip of coffee before they took off again. Never, in all the years of attempting to write her own novel, had the words poured out of her as they had in the last couple of months. She was well on her way to being finished with the first draft, and at no point had it really felt like work.
She smiled at the screen, thinking about how much she’d accomplished in such a short time, and how very invested she was in her characters and the paths that their fictional lives were taking. The timer on the dryer buzzed, and Tessa begrudgingly stopped to handle the necessities of everyday life.
As she flew around her apartment, taking care of mindless chores and making sure her home was neat and tidy, Tessa’s mind wandered to thoughts of Nate. Sure, it had been two months since they’d spoken, but that didn’t change the fact that Tessa still thought about him every single day. What was he doing? Was he happy? Did he still think about her?
When Tessa and Nate had had their final confrontation before he’d left, Nate had sworn up and down that his feelings were true and honest, and that he never went around just telling people that he loved them. But Tessa knew that at that point in her life when the situation with Nate had happened, she had been too vulnerable and too broken to actually be a functioning part of a healthy relationship. The wounds from Davis had been too fresh. She hoped beyond all hope that Nate would come to understand that eventually, but she still wasn’t in a place where she felt comfortable contacting him to apologize for her brash behavior.
Maybe one day,
she mused as she pushed the vacuum across the black-and-white woven rug. Deep down inside, Tessa knew she had really messed things up by jumping to conclusions, but it had taken a long time for her to come to that realization, and now she was pretty sure it was too late.
Not only had she let a large lapse in time pass by, but the thought of seeing him again caused her to blush with embarrassment. She didn’t think he would want to see her anyway. Not after what she had done.
Finished with her routine, she closed and locked the door to her apartment and trudged down the stairs, pausing at the landing to let out a little sigh of regret. Normally, in the beautiful Georgia sunshine, as the April blooms arched picturesquely over the sidewalks and streets, her walk to work was pure pleasure. But today was one of those days where she tended to dwell on her wrecked love life more so than other days. Today wasn’t good.
Tessa kicked at the rocks as she walked down the graveled drive to the main street. She wasn’t always like this. Some days were definitely better than others – especially when she had been so focused on her work and diving into the novel she’d been dying to write for ages. Some things were really good, and she should be much more thankful for those things.
Why can’t I just forget him? I messed it all up, it’s my fault. Not his. I blew it and I need to get over it.
Thoughts of their weeks together filled her mind as she attempted to repeat that mantra, but no matter how many times she did, it just wouldn’t stick.
The work day blended together into a monotonous line of editing and proofreading with no real excitement. Tessa found herself counting the minutes until it was time to leave. Most days, she did enjoy her job – it was what she had gone to school for, after all. Today just wasn’t her day. She had figured that out way earlier.
Tomorrow is another day,
she thought to herself. If it worked for Scarlett O’Hara, the most iconic of all Southern belles, to repeat those words, surely it would work for her.
The air was a bit crisp on the walk back home, and she rubbed her bare arms as she silently wished she hadn’t forgotten her sweatshirt at home that morning. Tessa hoped that there wouldn’t be any more cold snaps and that spring was finally here to stay, but there was no getting around the evening chill that would last for at least a few more weeks.
Caught up in her myriad thoughts, she didn’t notice someone sitting at the bottom of her steps, waiting for her to return home.
“Hello, Tessa.”
Surprise and shock left her paralyzed. He was the last person that she ever imagined would be waiting for her.
“Um, hi, Davis,” she said with uncertainty when she willed herself to finally say something. Tessa would need more than a minute to process this.
“I know you weren’t expecting me, and I’m sorry to just surprise you,” Davis said, standing as she made her way towards the steps.
“What are you doing here?” she blurted out. His face registered surprise at her bluntness, but Davis rallied quickly.
“I made a few decisions, and I needed to see you. Can I come up? I’d really like to sit down and talk. Maybe we could go to dinner.”
“I don’t know...we haven’t seen or talked to each other in months. Not since
you
up and left town...and me.”
“Tess, please, let me talk to you. I’m here to explain, and beg for your forgiveness. Just give me a chance to do that.”
Tessa weighed her options. On one hand, she was still beyond pissed at Davis and how he had handled things. She knew, whether he admitted it or not, that something had happened between him and Shauna.
But on the other hand, she was interested in what he had to say, and they did have a history together. She supposed she owed him at least the opportunity to explain himself and apologize.
“Fine. You can come up. You have twenty minutes and we aren’t going to dinner,” she told him as she stalked past him and headed up the steps.
Davis followed her up and stood way too close as she fumbled with the lock. Even though she was angry with him, he was still easy on the eyes, dressed in a black shirt and jeans, with his dark hair tousled from the wind. Tessa would have to have her guard up. Rolling her eyes as he rested his hand on the small of her back in a far too familiar way, Tessa was pretty sure the next twenty minutes wasn’t going to add any improvement to her bad day.
Once they were inside and seated, with Davis on the sofa and Tessa in an armchair a comfortable distance away from him, Tessa decided it was best to get straight to the point.
“Okay, Davis. What do you want to talk about?”
“Tess, I made a huge mistake breaking up with you, and I am so, so sorry. You were, and always will be, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please forgive me.”
Tessa raised an eyebrow. Obviously, Davis wasn’t mincing words tonight.
“I forgive you, Davis. It’s over, and there isn’t any point in me holding onto any anger or sadness over what you did.”
“That’s great, Tess. I’m really glad to hear you say that.”
“So how have things been going in Nashville?”
“Really good. We’ve been playing a lot of local bars and stuff, and we have a meeting next week with a record label. Things are looking awesome.”
“How’s Shauna?” Tessa couldn’t help herself, and seeing Davis get slightly flushed only cemented what she’d already suspected.
“Shauna is...Shauna.”
“What is that supposed to mean? You do know that I’m a pretty smart girl, right? Did you really think that I didn’t see what was happening? What your real reason for breaking up with me was? I’m not stupid.”
“No, Tess. Nothing happened before our breakup. I swear. But I’ll admit, we did sort of date for a few weeks, but it ended up being a terrible idea. We are much better off as friends.”
“Do you promise nothing happened before we broke up?”
“Cross my heart. I would never do that to you again after you took me back all those years ago. I learned my lesson. I only broke up with you because I was moving, and I knew the long-distance thing would be way too much of a strain on the both of us.”
“I don’t think it was fair that you made that decision on your own. It hurt, Davis.”
“I know it did, and I’m really sorry.” Davis rose from his place on the sofa and crossed the room to where Tessa was sitting.
Tessa stared at him in confusion. What did he think he was doing? To her surprise, he knelt in front of her and bowed his head against her knee. The gesture nearly broke her heart.
“I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness or another chance, but I will work every day trying to make it up to you. Tessa, the past few months without you in my life made me realize that I can’t live without you,” he continued. A tear slipped from Tessa’s eye at the words he was saying, his voice thick with emotion.
“Davis,” she tilted his chin up to look at her, “I can’t do this again. I’m just now at the point where I can live again. You wrecked me.”
“Tessa, I promise to be the man that you deserve. I love you – you are for me. No one else will ever do for me
, and
I know it.”
“But you live in Nashville. You said yourself that we couldn’t make a long-distance thing work,” she pointed out.
“Move to Nashville. Tessa, it’s amazing there – full of creativity and a vibrancy that you wouldn’t believe. You and your writing would thrive there.”
“Are you kidding me? Pick up and move to Nashville on a whim?” Tessa’s jaw literally dropped as she stared at Davis incredulously.
“It’s not a whim – we have so many years of history. You know me, Tess. Better than I probably know myself. And, I don’t expect you to make this decision tonight. I just couldn’t let the opportunity for happiness pass us by. Are you sure you don’t want to go to dinner?”
“No, thank you. I need to sit and process my thoughts about all of this. Alone.” Tessa was completely shell-shocked. This was what she had wanted all along. Months ago, she had longed for this very moment, and hoped that Davis would come to his senses. But in this moment, the only person she could think about was Nate. Thoughts of their slow dance in her living room, sweet kisses, and a million other memories flooded her mind as Davis eyed her.
The passion that she had shared with Nate made every moment of her years with Davis seem as if her world had been black-and-white. With Nate, she’d felt like she had been alive with vibrant color.
She showed Davis out, letting him hug her and allowing a small peck of a kiss. She really needed to sort all of this out, and she didn’t really have anyone with whom she could truly discuss it.
Natalie never knew about what really happened with Nate, and was definitely not a fan of Davis. She would be way too biased to give a good opinion on what Tessa should do. Her friends at The Grille weren’t close enough to share this huge life crisis with and expect a quality response.
Tessa wouldn’t even have a moment’s hesitation on what to do if it wasn’t for Davis’ heartfelt plea. She could literally feel the raw emotion as he had knelt in front of her. How could she not be moved by that?