Big Girls Rock 1 (4 page)

“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” I told him.

Suddenly a great sadness erupted inside of me, and before I knew it I burst into tears. Nick put his hands around my shoulders, in an effort to console. Why was I was crying? Perhaps it was years of not feeling good or beautiful enough.  And the kind of guy I'd always hoped would fall for me, had. But I knew this is an illusion, it wouldn't last. I had to spare myself the tragedy. I needed to be away I needed to be alone.

"Please take me home." I sobbed.

"I don't understand. We were having a good time." His brow knitted in frustration.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me."

"Then talk to me about it. I'll listen," his voice was warm and comforting.

"This isn't right. We aren't right." I struggled for the right words. "This thing is between us. It's impossible."

"Why, why is it impossible?" He asked me.

"Can you imagine what people will say when they see us together?"

"I don't care what people say;" he clasped my hand and kissed it. My heart sank; Nick lived in a fantasy world. He deserved to be with a beautiful, skinny woman. "I'm a plus-sized bartender from Oakland. I don't belong with you."

"You're being ridiculous," Nick crossed his arms. "But if that's what you want."

"Take me home Nick, please."

*

6.

I spent the next day ignoring Nick's texts. He must've written me one-hundred times that day, but I didn't have the heart answer him. No it was best to make a clean break of it. We had a few laughs, and I had a great time. That's all there was to it.

"What is wrong with you?" Jen told me after I finished telling her what happened the night before.

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just being logical." I spoke in my calmest voice. "This story doesn’t have a happy ending."

"So this rich and handsome guy wants you. And you run for the hills?" Jen tilted her chin.

"Trust me. He’ll forget about me soon enough." I got up from the sofa and grabbed my coat. "We're going to be late for work."

"Unbelievable." Jen snatched her purse and met me at the door.

We drove through the city at frantic pace and made it to The Dirty Thirty on time. One of the bar-backs had already set up. A few people I didn’t recognize cleaned. Frank pecked away on a laptop.

"Glad to see you ladies tonight," his face brightened as we walked into the room. "I was little worried that Candi had run away with that Hollywood dude."

"No need to worry about that,” Jen spoke up and gestured my way. “She's practical."

He tossed me a white towel. "Get ready. We’ll be opening in a few."

"I busied myself with work. Before long, the doors opened and the patron’s streamed in. As usual people expected me to sing. My heart wasn’t in it and I tried to avoid it all night.

“Come on Candi," Jen shook my shoulders. "It'll probably lift your spirits up."  So, I went to the stage as the crowd cheered me on. I noticed the group from a few nights ago. "So, back for more?"

"Are you kidding? The last time was epic. Our Facebook page got mega-hits because somebody posted a video of Nick Ortiz singing with us!"

"Cool," I tried really hard not to think about the past few nights and everything that happened. It seemed like an eternity ago. "You guys know Back on the Chain Gang by the pretenders." I asked them. The skinny redhead nodded, and then yelled something to his band.

The song started.  It was one of my favorite Chrissie Hynde classics. I poured my heart into it. Everything came out in that song, my sadness, and fears. My voice captured all the raw emotion in my heart. It was there for the entire world to see, my misery, pain, and regret. The band kept up with me, sensing my mood. Saltwater pooled in the corners of my eyes, but I kept from sobbing. When the song ended, the audience clapped, but not with the usual enthusiasm. I left stage and slumped behind the bar.

"Oh well, that was depressing as shit," Jen folded her arms.

"Lay off, okay," I pushed past her and went to work pouring drinks. Jen mumbled something and disappeared. The patrons ordered their poison. A few attempted to socialize. I answered with lots of silent nods. Before long, Jen re-appeared, carrying a tray of dirty glassware. She tapped me on the shoulder. "Mind getting me some more towels? We're out."

Desiring a little break, I headed towards the storeroom for linens. I halted when I found Nick leaning against the door. He was still sexy as hell. I guess I shouldn't be surprised he showed.

"Why didn't you answer me?" He frowned.

"Just leave me alone."

"You're so damned sure about everything!" He furled his brow.

"Please let’s not fight. Just go." I was exasperated at this point.

"Why won’t you give us a fighting chance?" He grabbed my shoulders.

"Don't you see there’s no us." I was tired, tired of running and tired of him chasing. Then out of the blue he kissed me. Remember that scene from Pretty in Pink? The one where Molly Ringwald finally gets the guy and “If You Leave” suddenly plays? I swear to God in that moment I heard that song. His kiss left me powerless. I surrendered like Custer. "Nick, I'm confused right now.” I struggled to speak. What in the hell was happening to me?

"There's nothing to be confused about." Nick threw up his hands. "I'm a man and you're a woman. We want each other, what's wrong with that?"

"But…" I was about to launch into a long speech about why we couldn't be together.

Nick kissed me again, "Just say you'll come home with me tonight."

This is it. This was my fairytale moment. Why was I running away from it? For once, didn’t I get to be the princess? "Okay, after my shift is over." Nick grinned ear to ear and then kissed me again. My heart thundered and my palms were wet. I was truly fucked.

*

7.

I met Nick after work, in front of the bar. He was parked outside on his motorcycle. “Hop on” he commanded. This time, I boarded the bike with confidence. We sped down the highway and reached the Marina in record time.

“Home sweet, home,” Nick’s bike pulled into the parking lot. The night was strangely beautiful and serene. As we walked, he put his arm around me. It was cold and I welcomed the tenderness. I snuggled close to him in silence. We reached the yacht, and he opened the door for me. It was comfortably warm inside.

"Do you want something to drink?" Nick asked.

"Sure you have any soda?"

"I think there's some in the fridge.”

Nick made his way to the kitchen and I sat. I was pretty sure his sofa cost more than I made all year. Hell, the entire place was cozy and elegant. Who would've thought a girl like me would be sitting in the lap of such luxury? Nick came back and handed me a soda. I drank it silently, happy to quench my thirst. 

"I'm glad you came," His eyes were so intensely blue and gorgeous. How is it possible that he was so absolutely perfect and so utterly into me?

"I'm happy I'm here too." God, I sounded idiotic. He sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee. I placed my hand on top of his and our eyes locked.

"I could sit with you like this forever," he continued. Is this what happened to skinny girls all the time? It wasn't like I was totally inexperienced. I’ve had boyfriends before. But they were all losers. A guy like Nick was the catch of a lifetime. Yet there is a part of me that was hesitant. I didn't want to believe that something as good as this was really happening.

"Nick, I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me.”

"What do you mean," he replied.

"I know this is probably just a weekend fling. You're a big star who's come back to his hometown. I know when this is all over you going to go back to Hollywood and find some skinny girl to be with.”  He opened his mouth to speak and I placed a finger over his lips. "I'm okay with that.”

"I don't what kind of guy you think I am," his mouth turned downward. "I'm not a player with a different girl in every city... that's not me.”

There was a part of me that wanted to believe and yet some tiny voice inside urged me to be careful. But maybe it would be okay for this once to take a chance. Throwing caution to the wind, I leaned forward. Nick responded with passion and pulled me close. Our lips parted and his wet tongue entwined with mine. I grew dizzy as the blood rushed to my head. Nick roamed across my body and groped my breasts. I fumbled with his shirt buttons undoing them one by one. He pulled away from me. "Let’s go to my bedroom."

"Okay," I replied. He grabbed me by the wrist and led me to his room. We pulled back the covers and lay next to one another. We continued to kiss passionately and explore. He had muscles on top of muscles. I've never been with someone so amazingly in shape. I pulled my sweater over my head and tossed it onto the floor. Wasting no time, Nick undid my bra. Then he cupped my breasts and licked the nipples. Electric shivers went through my entire body.

He said, "Candi I want to show you how beautiful you are to me." He pressed close to me and I became aware of his hardness as it pushed against my thigh. The heat of desire spread up my spine.

"I can't think of anything I'd want more." I whispered into his ear. I rolled over onto my back and Nick crawled on top of me. He kissed my face, neck, breast, and belly. He gave my body the loving attention it had so long craved.

My fumbling hands reached for his pants zippered down his fly. Then I pulled his trousers down past his hips and slipped my hand beneath his underwear. His hardness greeted my eager hands in their search for pleasure. Nick groaned in my ear and cupped my ass. Our damp bodies were pressed together. His masculine heat covered me and I found myself breathless. Without a word he got off the bed and yanked his pants off. Then he lay next to me, leaning on his elbow.

"Candi," he locked me in his gaze. "I want to be inside you."

"I stroked his face my fingertips grazed the stubble.

"I want that too," He pushed me onto my back, and then repeated kissing my belly. Next, he undid my belt and pulled my pants down. With a kick, they fell to the floor belt tingling. I flushed with embarrassment. I'd worn my smiley face panties. Little yellow grins were checkered all over them. Nick laughed and kissed the fabric. His hot breath drifted across my skin and I moaned in pleasure. Not wasting time, he removed my panties. Soon, I was completely naked.

"God Candi you’re so beautiful," he spoke. "I love everything about you." He stroked my labia with lazy fingers. Making small circles, he drew near my quivering opening. Then one finger slowly sunk into me. Then another finger stroked the most sensitive part of me and sent waves of pleasure up my spine. By this time I was dripping wet with passion. My hips gyrated. I grabbed his wrist and forced him in further. My sex scented the air with musk.

"You smell so good," he murmured as he pleasured me. "I love everything about you Candi, I want you to love yourself too!” 

My face flushed with embarrassment. "I just have trouble accepting compliments."

"Maybe that's because you don't hear them enough” I noticed that he was increasing his rhythm. "Tell me how beautiful you are!"

Tears welled in my eyes, "I can't. I can't say it."

"Yes you can," he commanded. "Please baby for me. For yourself. Just say it." the rhythm of his fingers stroking the walls of my pussy was indescribable. He stimulated my clit at the same time. Mounting pressure built within me.

"Please, I can't say it right now."

"Oh you'll say it," he grinned. "Before the night is over you'll be screaming it." This guy had everything in the world and he wanted me. Nick stopped and pulled his fingers from me.               "Hmmm, delicious." He licked my nectar from his fingertips. Then he lay on top of me rubbing his thick cock along the crease of my pussy. His teasing was driving me mad and I wanted nothing more than for him to plunge inside of me. He continued his frottage for a while and I was pushed closer to the edge.

"Please do it, I want this." I lost all inhibition. Nick was sex embodied. I wanted to have him inside me. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed a condom. Then he tore the package open with his teeth and unrolled it over himself. After that, he pressed the tip of it against my tight opening. Inch-by-inch his thick cock eased into me. I spread wider to accommodate him. He was so thick and meaty! I bit my lower lip to stop from crying out. He plunged deeper with each subsequent stroke. His mastery of rhythm had to be experienced in order to be believed. I placed my hands above my head and grabbed a pillow. My fingernails sunk into it. Nick slung my right leg over his shoulder. This was my first time being in a position like this. His expert thrusts increased rhythm, pounding faster and faster. He was in complete control of my orgasm and his own.

"Say it now," he urged. I flushed with heat and desire. I pulled him into deep into me. Wrapping my legs round his waist with a squeeze.

I screamed at the top of my lungs “I’m beautiful, God dammit I’m beautiful!"  In that instant I truly believed it. As I shouted, my orgasm overcame me in waves. I wasn't sure when the first began and when the last ended. I've never been multi-orgasmic. But Nick struck erotic notes, harmonies, and chords in my body. As my orgasm reached its crescendo I nearly fainted from the sheer pleasure of it. As my own orgasm subsided, Nick's body tensed on top of me. The muscles in his legs clenched, and his eyes closed. A soft, gentle moan escaped his lips. Rosy cheeked like a Botticelli angel, his face flushed red. How is it possible for a man to be so beautiful and so rugged? He collapsed, his face burrowed in my neck. We lay in the afterglow for a long time.

Then I spoke "That was amazing!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." He replied. I nearly cried in disappointment as he pulled his softening cock out of me. Nick rolled over, his face slack with pleasure. "I could stay like this forever.”

I tried not to get carried away. We’d only known each other for a short time

“Me too," I told him. "But I understand that you have your own life. The television show, groupies, a Hollywood mansion."

"I don't actually have a mansion," he said. "It's a penthouse..."