“Good. Maybe Daddy can get some rest when you take a nap.”
“I'm too big to take a nap. Remember, I'm five.”
“Nobody is ever too big to take a nap, sweetie. Your daddy might take one himself.”
“But after pizza, okay?” his daughter said sweetly.
“Okay,” he said chuckling.
Landon turned to me and said, “You are welcome to join us if you like.”
“No, I think I better get home before my brother sends out a search party for me.”
“It was really good talking with you, Kellie. Don't get me wrong, I love being here with Gabrielle, but having you here made this outing even better.”
“I enjoyed being with you and Gabrielle as well.”
“Do you think I can âuse' you again?” Landon asked, smirking.
“Um, I don't know . . .” I said with hesitancy.
“I'm not twisting your arm or nothing,” he joked.
“I know. It's justâ”
“You have a boyfriend?”
I didn't answer. I didn't want to tell him I was married. I saw him peep at my left hand, I guess checking to see if I was wearing a wedding ring. I was glad I was no longer wearing them. I took my rings off the day I found Jeffrey together with Kyle. Those rings were supposed to be a symbol of a loving union which Jeffrey and I didn't have.
“Look, put my number in your phone,” Landon suggested.
I pulled out my cell and entered the number he recited to me.
“This way, you can call me if you would like to have lunch or something. We can even do the park again, if you like. I can push you real high on the swing next time.”
I giggled saying, “I'll let you know.”
“Good.”
“Daddy, come on. Let's go. My tummy hurts.”
Smirking, he said, “I better get out of here before I be in trouble.”
I watched Landon walk away with his daughter as I thought about the wonderful afternoon I had with him. My cell phone rang, and I knew it was Vic calling me again, but when I answered, Vic's voice was not the one on the other end of my phone.
It was Dr. Hoffman.
Vivian
34
I was in the kitchen preparing dinner for Sheldon and me, acting like things were okay with us when clearly it wasn't. Just because he came in earlier and professed his love to me in front of our friends didn't mean I didn't have a problem with him showing up at that restaurant with another woman. I still felt some type of way about him introducing me by my name and not my title. I yearned to get to the bottom of it at once, but I had to wait until my company left first.
“Dinner smells great, babe,” Sheldon complimented as he walked over and kissed me on the cheek.
He'd gotten comfortable and changed into a pair of his basketball shorts and a tank. I could tell he'd showered also and wondered if he did this to wash away any remnants of the woman he was with.
A cold “Thanks” passed my lips.
He pulled out a stool from the island to sit down. He knew I was still pissed, which was why I kept my back turned to him. I stirred his favorite dish, gumbo, which I made for him and my sisters all the time.
“You still mad at me?” he asked.
“What do you think?”
He sighed as he said, “Vivian, I'm really sorry about earlier.”
I said nothing.
“I should have told you about the meeting I was having, but I didn't know how you would take it.”
That was my cue to turn to him and engage in this conversation.
“Why? Did you think I would lose it?” I asked with an attitude.
“Yes, in a way, I did. I didn't want you to think I was interested in another woman,” he explained.
“You see how that worked out, don't you?”
“Yes,” he said dejectedly.
“Like you being with that woman wasn't bad enough, you introduced me as âVivian' and not your âwife.' How would you feel if I did that to you?”
He closed his eyes, now realizing why I was so upset with him.
“Viv, I didn't realize I introduced you like that. I thought you were mad because I didn't tell you about the meeting with Nina.”
“You know what? There's a lot of things you don't realize anymore. You seemed to pay more attention when you were my best friend than now that I've become your wife. You have fallen into the same category with the rest of the men who fail to pay attention to the woman they claim to love.”
“Please, Viv, don't put me in a category with anybody else,” he warned. “I'm my own man.”
“Then act like one. If you haven't noticed, I think our marriage is in trouble,” I informed him as I turned back to the pot of gumbo and began stirring it again.
“Are you regretting you married me?” he asked probingly.
“Yes. Yes, sometimes I regret marrying you, Sheldon,” I answered clicking the stove off as I removed the pot from the heat. Then I turned back to face him.
Disappointment was etched on his face, and for a moment, I wondered if I had made a mistake by telling him that.
“Babe, you know my biggest fear was our intimate relationship with each other, and I feel marriage changed that. I miss the friendship we once had,” I said, speaking in a softer tone, hoping this would relieve some of the tension that was building.
“Come on, Viv, that's not fair.”
“Why isn't it? Can't you see things have changed?”
“It happens when people get married sometimes,” he countered.
“Did you forget we were friends first?”
“No, Viv.”
“You don't think I've noticed the man you've become is all of a sudden holding back from me?” I conveyed. “You always could be yourself with me. But these past few months, something has changed with you.”
“I wish you would stop saying that,” he belted out.
“What else am I supposed to think other than you are not attracted to me and maybe you regret marrying me?”
“I don't regret marrying youâunlike yourself,” he deflected.
“You act like you don't want to be around me. You don't have sex with me as much as you used to. Hell, you act like you don't want me to suck your dick anymore.”
“What I'm going through has nothing to do with you.”
“Then tell me what's wrong.”
Sheldon searched his mind for what to say. I could see his wall going up, and this unnerved me. He never used to be this way with me. He was always an open book with me, but now, he was starting to hide chapters in his life, like I was not important enough to know his full story.
“I can see you shutting down now.”
My husband lowered his gaze. I stepped toward him and watched as he pinched the bridge of his nose. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he wouldn't allow his thoughts to part his lips.
“You know as well as I do, this marriage can't work with only one of us willing to give our all. And right now, I'm tired of trying to pull things out of you, when this was never you in the first place.”
“Viv, you keep pushing me,” he said with frustration. “Why can't you allow me to choose the time to tell you what's going on with me? As my friend, you never pushed me, but now, that's all you do.”
“I've let you have your space. If I see something wrong, of course, I'm going to ask you what's wrong, but when you say nothing, I've left it at that, Sheldon. So, how in the hell am I pushing you? This is the only time I've really come at you like this, so I'm confused,” I said, growing agitated.
“Please, just leave this alone for now, okay?”
“Okay,” I blurted. “You want to leave that alone, then how about this? Who was the bitch you had lunch with?”
“Now, we are back to this,” he sighed loudly. “Make up your mind what you want to talk about. Damn.”
“I'll talk about whatever the hell I want to talk about,” I said angrily. “So tell me who the hell she is!”
“She's a coworker, Viv!” he yelled.
“I can't believe you are lying to my face,” I murmured, looking at him with disdain. “I called your job this afternoon and asked to speak to Nina Alexander, and guess what they told me?”
His eyes grew as large as billiard balls as I stood across from him on the other side of the island and watched his face become flushed.
“Guess?” I said again, but Sheldon said nothing. “I was told that a Nina Alexander doesn't work at your firm.”
He continued to remain tight-lipped, looking at me blankly.
“What? You don't have anything to say now that I caught you in a lie? I was giving you an opportunity to tell me the truth, but you said nothing.”
“You are checking up on me now?” he muttered.
“You damn right I'm checking on you. Especially when I could tell both of you were lying to me at that lunch today. I mean, why else would she look to you to see how to answer me.”
The look of torment covered him as he rubbed his hands down his face in frustration.
“I can't believe you would do this to me. I trusted you.”
“I haven't done anything,” he defended.
“Like hell you haven't. You standing there not saying nothing, but you expect me to believe what you are saying, when you know I've caught you in a lie. It explains your change. It explains you not fucking me.”
“Viv, chill, please.”
I walked around the island and watched as he looked up to the ceiling. Swiveling his stool around to face me, I poked him in his chest.
“Viv, please back up off me,” he warned.
“Or what? What are you doing to do?” I taunted poking him in his chest again.
He looked down at my hand touching him and chuckled dryly. He pressed his lips together as he brought his eyes up to meet mine, giving me an icy glare. He stood up, but I didn't move, causing him to push the stool back so he could step back from me. I inched forward, getting close to him again, and he blew an exasperated breath as he grimaced at me.
“Viv, please, leave this alone. You know how I am.”
“And that's supposed to scare me?” I frowned.
“I don't want to scare you, but you are pissing me off.”
“You pissed off? No!
I'm
pissed off because I caught your ass with another woman, and you have the audacity to not give me an explanation. Do you
really
think that's going to fly?” I yelled, pushing him as hard as I could in his chest. I pushed him over and over, letting the hurt of the day come out in a physical altercation.
Sheldon snatched me by my shoulders and shook me violently, yelling, “Is this what you want?”
“Sheldon!” I screamed, surprised he'd put his hands on me.
“You satisfied now? Is
this
the Sheldon you want?”
“No!”
“You want to know who Nina is? She's my psychiatrist. Are you happy now?”
She shoved me hard, causing me to fall against the kitchen sink.
His abrupt outburst scared me more so than him shaking me like he did. He frantically paced back and forth, rubbing his head and breathing erratically as his hands were clinched into a tight fist. I didn't know what to do. I felt bad I'd pushed him this far, but what else was I supposed to do? I'd already left this alone for way too long. How long did Sheldon expect me to deal with this?
He jetted toward me, and I raised my arms to block him. With a guarded stance he stared at me with rage in his eyes before he realized I was cowering like he was going to hit me. And as if a switch was flipped within him, Sheldon's expression suddenly turned sullen. His hardened eyes softened, commanding sympathy for a situation I had no clue about, but how could I? The strong man I knew all of sudden was emaciated and shattered; looking defeated and hurt by whatever happened to him, which was the reason why he had to see a shrink. For the first time, I looked into the eyes of a man who was afraid, and that, alone, made me wonder if I wanted to know why he needed to see this woman.
A tear rolled down Sheldon's face as he dropped to the floor and leaned against the kitchen cabinets. He brought his knees up, resting his elbows on them, and lowered his head as he began to sob. I dropped down on my knees beside him and wrapped my arms around him. I'd never seen him like this before. He leaned his head on me, and before I knew it, he pulled me onto his lap and nestled his face in the crook of my neck holding me tight.
“I'm sorry, Viv.”
“Babe, it's okay,” I told him as I cried with him.
“I . . . I . . . wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how. I thought you would leave me.”
His words caused more tears to fall, and I knew in that moment, this man had to love me if he feared I'd leave him.
“I'm here for you, babe. I'm not leaving you.”
Sheldon gripped me tighter, if that was possible, and I gladly consoled my husband. I still didn't know what had him so upset, but I knew I wasn't going to push now. Whatever it was, it was devastating for him to break down like this. I was going to back off and give him time to come around. We couldn't have another evening like this one because it might destroy our relationship.
Sonya
35
The first thing I did when I walked through my door was take my church shoes off. My feet were hurting some kind of terrible. As much as I loved heels, my feet hated them. I sat on the couch and rubbed them bad boys, wishing I had a man here to rub them for me. I was concentrating so much on the pain radiating through my feet that the music from Meena's room didn't hit me until the pain subsided.
“I told that girl to keep her music down.”
Aggravated by Meena's total disrespect of my rules, I looked up at the ceiling, wishing I could click my heels three times and transport myself to Jamaica. Then Kellie entered my mind, and I calmed myself. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew how I communicated with Meena wasn't the best. Maybe I could handle it differently this time. I did tend to snap more than talk. This was probably why I had a teen who had so much attitude.
Standing outside her door, I prayed this girl didn't give me any attitude because things would go left real quick. It was one thing to try, but it was another to be disrespected.
I opened her door saying, “Meena, honey, I thought I told youâ”
My words got caught in my throat. There was Meena with some guy drilling her from behind while beside them on the same bed were two females tonguing each other down. All of them were butter ball naked, intertwined like a damn pretzel while August Alsina's music played in the background.
“Meena!” I screamed, storming into the room like a raging bull.
The boy jumped off of her, falling against the wall, causing her curtains to come crashing down over his head. The two girls jumped over Meena to get as far away from me as possible. That's when I noticed the boy was her drug-dealing friend, Corbin. And the two girls were none other than Asha and Shannon.
“Mama!” Meena yelped.
I scurried over to the dresser where the blaring speaker was and swiped everything to the floor. The music stopped as all of them looked at me in panic.
“What are you doing in my room? You don't know how to knock?” Meena had the nerve to ask like I was disturbing her.
I looked around to make sure there was nobody else behind me because I
knew
she
wasn't
talking to
me
like this.
When I saw no one else I asked, “Who . . . do you think you are you talking to?”
“Mom, I'm talking to you,” she snapped.
I giggled calling Jesus in my mind before I lunged for my daughter. Meena scuffled to the headboard to get away from me, but I snatched her by her hair and yanked her to the floor. The sheet she had covering herself fell from around her naked frame and she shrieked. Asha, Corbin, and Shannon were cowering nearby as they watched me whoop Meena's ass.
“Mom, stop! You're hurting me,” she pleaded.
I couldn't stop swinging on her I was so pissed. Her screams snapped me back from my rampage as I heard her friends also plead for me to stop. I let her go, stumbling back to observe the scene before me.
Asha was struggling to put her clothes on as Shannon looked at me fearfully. Corbin stood there cockily with his dick still swinging like he didn't have a care in the damn world. I couldn't help but look at it, which was a nice size for someone his age. I actually hated admiring it like I did. Then I realized his dick was not covered by any protection whatsoever.
“Lord, you better come back now before I commit a murder,” I belted out. The kid's eyes
really
bulged when I said that.
Meena struggled to stand to her feet as she reached for the sheet to wrap around herself.
“Really, Meena . . . Not only did you disrespect my house, but you disrespect yourself by sleeping with this boy with no condom?” I said in disappointment.
“Mom, please. We don't have to use condoms because he pulls out,” she said ignorantly.
“What about herpes, gonorrhea, and AIDS?” I asked.
“We're clean,” she argued.
“How do y'all know? Did you exchange medical records before fucking?” I asked.
None of them said a word.
“What about babies?” I asked. “Females get pregnant all the time with the pullout method. Either of you ever heard of precome?”
Both of them eyed each other as they thought about what I was saying. And then I knew they didn't care. All they wanted to do was have sex, not really thinking about the consequences of their actions . . . as usual. Damn, I felt like this was a reoccurring thing with her. I knew she wasn't this stupid.
“I want all of you to get dressed while I call your parents. And if any of you are confused about what's getting ready to happen next,
I'm calling your parents
,” I threatened.
I heard all of them say no, but I wasn't going to deal with this by myself. When they made this my problem, they also made it a problem for their parents.
“For real, Mama, you don't have to call them.”
“You know what's real?” I said walking toward her. “That ass whooping I gave you.
That's
real. The fact he's not wearing a condom . . .
That's
real. You all being too young and dumb to be doing anything like this . . . Now
that's
real. I'm so about this situation I want to jump on your ass again.”
When I said that, Meena stepped back cautiously. I shook my head at her as I turned to exit the room.
“Ms. Gordon, please don't do that,” Asha pleaded.
“Does your mother know you are here?” I asked her.
She shook her head.
“How did you get here?”
She looked at Corbin who was pulling his shirt over his head.
“All y'all's parents need to know,” I broke down.
“All my mom is going to do is take my car for a day or two,” Corbin said, unconcerned.
I could tell from the first time I met this boy he had his parents wrapped around his little finger. It sickened me to see kids play their parents like a string instrument in an orchestra, but I wasn't that type of parent. Granted, my daughter and I had issues, but I was trying to guide her down the right path.
I stood here not understanding if I went wrong as a parent for her to do something like this. Then Kellie entered my mind again. Ignoring my thoughts, I asked, “What is your parents' number?”
The only number I needed was Corbin's parents because I had Abigail's number, and I was going to call Kegan for Asha because Imani wasn't allowed on my property due to the restraining order I put on her after she destroyed my car.
Corbin didn't answer. For somebody who was so nonchalant about not getting much punishment, I couldn't figure out why he was hesitating at all.
“Either you tell me or you tell the cops. Either way, I'm calling somebody.”
That
got Corbin's attention. He was nineteen years old having had sex with a minor. He shifted nervously as I glared at him with disdain.
“You pick,” I told him.
And just like that, I had the number.