Read Big Bang Generation Online
Authors: Gary Russell
âBut Cyrrus Globb has some heritage here. This could invalidate our contract.'
Peter laughed. âSorry. That's the risk you take coming to twenty-first-century Earth. Dirty, smelly, full of germs, inedible food and bad fashion. My mum loves it of course. Her favourite period of research.' He smiled at Kik the Assassin's expression. âYup, she really is a proper archaeologist.'
Kik the Assassin shrugged again. âThen I'm glad she likes this time period, because you're all stuck here now.' She activated the device in her hand, screamed and dropped unconscious as a fairly hefty voltage shot through her body.
âNot a keycoder,' he muttered to her. âAnother device I invented to capture idiots on Legion who think like you did. Oh, and another thing you didn't realise about me,' he said bending down towards her, âis that my Killoran heritage means I'm about three times stronger than a human my age and height.' Effortlessly he picked the assassin up and flung her body over his shoulder.
He sheathed, and thus hid, each of his weapons and devices except his Legion pistol. That he simply carried.
He looked down at Senior Sergeant Rhodes as he
stepped over his body. âSorry Sergeant,' he said. âYou are going to wake up in about twenty minutes, along with everyone else in here. Alive. But you are going to spend most of your day in the toilet being very ill. My little neuro-stunners are designed to scramble your synapses, giving you extreme vertigo. Still, better than killing you all, I guess.'
With Kik the Assassin unconscious over his left shoulder, Peter wound his way around the devastated police station, and pushed open the glass front door.
Thirty armed SPG officers raised their guns, clicking off the safety catches audibly, all aiming at Peter from behind cars and armoured trucks.
âOh, great,' Peter said and looked into the night sky. âMum? Jack? Ruth? Anyone, some help please?'
At which point, Sydney suffered another seizure, and all hell broke loose.
âNow, Doctor, did you say Professor Horace Jaanson?'
The Doctor was talking to Keri Pakhar on Legion over speakerphone. Bernice could hear clearly because the smartphone was on the hotel room floor, and the Doctor was pacing around it, thinking.
âWe did,' he said.
âInteresting man,' Keri said. âI've been researching him.'
âInteresting is one word for him,' Bernice conceded. âArrogant, idiotic, egomaniac, ignorant â did I say idiotic?'
âYou did,' Keri said. âBut here's the interesting thing. Pretty much everything we know about the Ancients of the
Universe does actually come from his family. All of them. Going right back to when GalWiki started. Horace might well be a numpty riding on his forebears' reputation, but without them, a lot of what we know about time-travel theory (Time Lords excepted, Doctor) would be gibberish. He's the latest in a long line of important scientists.'
The Doctor nodded. âI knew the name was familiar. Wasn't one of his maternal side responsible for proving the symbiotic link between the Time Squids of the Lower Vortex and the Crinis? I met a Crinis once â not fun.'
Keri just carried on. âSo the Jaanson family speculated that, when the Ancients of the Universe did their bunk and vamoosed, various worlds that had been touched by their technology were left with guardians.'
Bernice grabbed the Doctor's sleeve. âThat man. Lue?'
The Doctor nodded. âCould be. He certainly knew more than he was letting on â and he exists in more than one time zone here on Earth.'
âWell, here's another, important thing about the Pyramid Eternia and why you need to get it off Earth urgently,' Keri said.
âYes?' the Doctor prompted. Then realised the phone was not responding. He turned back to look at it â only to find it smashed into lots of pieces by Cyrrus Globb's big shoes.
Bernice was on her knees, arms behind her head. âWherever we go together, Doctor,' she was saying, âthere's always some mook with a gun pointing it in our faces, shouting and spitting and being incoherent with rage.'
Which pretty much summed up Professor Horace Jaanson at that moment, although the gun was in Cyrrus Globb's hand, and he wasn't upset at all. He seemed to be rather enjoying all this.
âStupid con artists,' Jaanson was saying.
Globb let out a laugh that sounded not only like he didn't laugh very often, but that it was coming from a very deep pit that didn't encourage laughter because the noise it made was a bit terrifying. âThey're no con artists,' he finally said.
âAre too,' said Bernice.
âAre not,' responded Globb. âI've been around, lady. Kik the Assassin and I twigged ages ago that you were playing us.'
âWe were?' asked the Doctor.
âThey were?' asked Jaanson. âThey seemed pretty convincing to me.'
âMakes you a perfect mark, then.' Globb looked at Bernice. âTell me some famous cons you've pulled off.'
âDoc's the leader, he'll list them. He's a long-con expert.'
The Doctor gave Bernice a look that suggested strangling her was pretty high on his list of priorities, before smiling at Globb. âDid you hear about the guy who managed to sell the Sydney Opera House to five different people, until the cops got wind of it?'
âThat wasn't you.'
âMight have been. I'm not saying. You might be a cop.'
âI'm not a cop, I'm a conman from the fifty-first century. And are you saying that was you?'
âCould have been.'
âWas it?'
âYes,' lied the Doctor.
Globb snorted. âYou are a really terrible liar, “Doc”. Now, what are you doing here?'
âSee?' the Doctor looked at Bernice. âEveryone asks it eventually.'
âEver heard of the great Kirrin / Barnard conundrum?' Bernice asked Jaanson and Globb. âYou must have encountered it, Professor. Being so smart and all that.'
For a moment Horace Jaanson looked confused, caught Globb's eye, and swallowed. Hard. âOf course I have, it postulates that, ummâ¦'
âYou're as bad at lying as the others, Prof,' Globb said with a dark smile. âI really don't like liars. I'm not listening to any more twaddle.'
âThen listen to this, Mr Globb,' the Doctor said, standing up, pushing the gun away. âListen carefully. You are not from the twenty-first century but you are human, so you can't stay here. I suspect that's true of the Professor, too. If we don't get the Glamour back to that pyramid, find a way in and get it off this world and back to Aztec Moon, this planet will explode.'
âSo?'
âSo your ancestors will cease to exist. So will you. Just. Like. This.' He clicked his fingers. âGone in a big bang.'
âHe's lying,' Jaanson said.
Globb stared into the Doctor's eyes, and then nodded. âNah, he's not. He's on the level.' He looked at Jaanson.
âThis was fun while it lasted, but I don't want to die here and now.'
For the first time in his life, Horace Jaanson ignored the bullies and the cleverer people and the ones who said they knew better, and he snatched the gun out of Globb's fat, sweaty hand.
He aimed it at all three of them. âI want the Glamour. The Ancients of the Universe, that pyramid and all their secrets are mine. I have devoted my life to those secrets and I won't be denied.'
He started to squeeze the trigger.
It was 22 December 2015, and Mr Thomas Gordon Taylor was not having a great night. He had returned home to discover that the Rabbitohs had lost and his daughter had scratched his wife's car with her bicycle. To top it all off, at twenty past two in the morning he'd been telephoned and told that the Power Station's alarms had all gone off.
According to his security teams, someone had stolen the weird rock his parents had told him was so important. To be honest, Mr Taylor wasn't too upset by this. OK, so it had been in his family for nearly one hundred years, but he didn't much like it, and his father and grandfather had always been a bit cagey as to how Great Grandad Tomas had got it. There were all sorts of rumours and stories about Nazi sympathisers, Hitler, the occult and the fact that Great Grandma had disappeared overnight. Mr Taylor didn't want to look too deeply into his family history. As a result, the stupid Glamour rock thing had only been in the
museum because it was in various wills â an instruction that it had to be for ever and ever. Somehow the news that it had been nicked made Mr Taylor very happy.
Maybe now he could shrug off the ghosts and debts of his ancestors and sell the stupid museum and move to the Gold Coast.
Truth was, after a really bad day, he was now having a good night. He settled back to sleep, having told his staff to coordinate with the police and he'd be in work in the morning to sort things out.
He was just dozing off, when he and his wife fell out of bed as an earthquake shook Sydney badly.
Very badly indeed.
The night sky in Sydney was cool and refreshing. Peaceful and serene. Beautiful even. Normally. This particular evening however, it was anything but.
The skies were red with flame, volcanoes that had previously been flat land, were wrenched towards the heavens, drenching the city in volcanic lava, choking it with burning ash.
The Doctor stood outside their hotel and looked upwards. It was like Pompeii, Montserrat and Atlantis all in one. He grabbed Bernice's hand. âWe have to get to the pyramid. Where're Jack and the others?'
âI don't know,' Bernice yelled over the noise of people screaming, car horns and other terrible sounds that depicted a city about to die. âThe Bluetooth isn't working.'
âHow clever are they?'
âVery,' she said instantly. âThe cleverest people I know.'
âThen hopefully they'll head for the Pyramid Eternia. Come on!'
âWhat about Globb and the Professor?'
The Doctor looked back. Globb was striding along, his enormous bulk pouring sweat in the heat, but his face showed his determination not to be left behind. In one hand he dragged the Professor, in the other he carried his gun, which he'd retrieved when the earthquake threw Jaanson off his feet. He'd been all for throwing Jaanson into the maw of death that surrounded them, but the Doctor had reminded him that, as they were out of time, displaced chronologically, if the Professor died here before he was ever born, it might cause a few problems with the Web of Time. Total nonsense of course, but in the literal heat of the moment, Globb bought into it.
The Doctor carried the rock.
âWe're about two miles from the Harbour Bridge,' Bernice shouted. âI'm not sure we'll make it!'
All around them, chaos literally erupted as the city convulsed and cracked open. Whole buildings, whole areas sunk instantly into the lava, everything and everyone burned to a crisp in seconds.
Focusing on getting to the Pyramid Eternia so all this could be put right, the Doctor spied a white van nearby. âGet in,' he yelled.
Bernice got into the driving seat as Globb yanked the rear doors completely away and threw the Professor then himself into the back. Bernice ripped under the steering column until she could hotwire the engine and it roared into life.
âWho taught you that?' the Doctor said as he clambered in beside her.
âMutual friend,' she said back. âI call it Ace-ing the engine!' As they moved forward, Bernice looked at the Doctor. âI don't recall Sydney being destroyed in 2015.'
âIt wasn't. But it could be. You know how history likes to reinvent itself. Oh and if you could avoid hitting things, that'd be good.'
Bernice clipped a bin on a kerb as she roared down George Street towards the Harbour.
The Doctor glanced into the wing mirror and watched in horrified fascination as the road and buildings behind them sank into flame.
âI don't think you need to worry about the speed limit, Benny,' he shouted over all the noise from outside.
Another car careering towards them had to swerve and go left.
âThat's not good,' Bernice yelled.
âWhy not?' growled Globb.
âBecause he was driving away from where we need to go which suggests to me that maybe it's already gone. Poof. Up in smoke.'
âI smell burning,' Horace Jaanson whined.
âIt's the tyres,' Bernice said. âWe are actually on fire.'
The Doctor opened his door to look at the tyres. Sure enough, tiny flames sparkled amidst the smoke. âThey're melting into the tarmac,' he reported.
âIf it ignites the fuel, we're dead,' Bernice said matter-of-factly. âWe've not got much further to go. Do we risk blowing up or risk getting out, running and burning our feet off?'
âDrive!' all three men yelled.
Bernice drove.
When the armed policemen had fallen over, Peter Guy Summerfield had momentarily considered running. But these guys would be better than the normal cops in the station. They were trained for fast reaction and it only took one of them to shoot him dead.
So he stood his ground.
Some of the team staggered to their feet, when a second, larger shake occurred, followed by a noise of a kind Peter had never heard before.
It was like the whole planet had felt this tremor and was screaming out in pain. Or rage. It was an awful, primal noise that frightened him to his very core and, for the first time in his life, Peter was frozen by indecision.
Decision, however, was made when he felt himself scooped up and almost thrown onto the flat roof of the police station, the unconscious Kik the Assassin rolling away from him. She rolled to Ruth's feet, and Peter realised his rescuer was Jack, leaping as he always did so well.
Unaccustomed as he was to gratuitous displays of emotion, Peter hugged Jack, whispering âThank you' over and over again.
Then the lava erupted. Peter risked a glance back down, but there was nothing left of any of the people down there, flash fried in a split second. Lava was raining down onto the steps of the station.
âThis roof isn't safe,' Ruth said.
âWhere to?' asked Peter. âThe hotel?'
âNo,' Jack said quietly. âI think we should head to the pyramid â that's where the Doctor and Benny will go eventually.'
Peter again scooped up Kik the Assassin, but Jack was torn. Of course, he could only carry one person at a time. The pyramid was only maybe a minute away if he jumped from building to building and then down onto the parkland beneath the Bridge.
Peter smiled at them both. âTake Ruth, I'll be safe here,' he lied.
Jack looked at him. âAnything happens to you, Benny'll kill me. Slowly. Don't go away or try anything brave. Or stupid.' Then he and Ruth were gone.
Peter looked down again and felt the whole station drop slightly as it started to sink. He looked ahead â the water that surrounded Sydney's collapsing CBD was steaming and with a colossal crash, the Harbour Bridge itself broke in two, the north end dropping into the boiling waterway.
All he could see for miles now was red lava consuming buildings as it roared down from volcanic geysers and he could only imagine that the death toll was going to be, well, indescribable.
All those poor people.
As he thought on this, Peter was aware he was being watched from down below. Not by a policeman but by a civilian â a dark man in a white shirt and chinos. He seemed to just stare at Peter for a second then gave him a ridiculously exaggerated thumbs up, turned and walked
into the heat haze and vanished. Peter wanted to call out to him for some reason and he opened his mouth to do so.
At which point he and his unconscious charge were yanked high into the air by the returning Jack, who smiled reassuringly as he leapt them to safety.
âHey, Petey, miss me?'
As Sydney died around them, the Doctor, Bernice, Ruth, Cyrrus Globb and Horace Jaanson stood at the side of Circular Quay, wondering how to get to the Pyramid Eternia without being broiled.
Then they realised the obvious answer.
Jack flew through the air after one last bouncy leap and deposited Peter and the now awakened Kik the Assassin on a ledge by the doorway.
He then bounded back, grabbed Ruth, and took her to safety. Then the Doctor, Bernice, Jaansonâ¦and then he came back for Globb.
The two men stared at each other.
âExhausted?' asked Globb.
âHell, yeah,' said Jack. âThis isn't my natural choice for getting people from A to B.'
Globb looked at his own bulky body, then back at Jack. Then they both looked at the dead city, as even the Opera House blazed in the night sky before it too sank in on itself. âD'you think anyone got out?'
âIn the suburbs? Probably. But here, at ground zero? Not a chance.'
âIf I go down with the city,' Globb said, âthey'll never find
my body. I'll never even be some weird skeletal anomaly for your Professor Summerfield to discover in a thousand years. I'll just be ash.'
âI'm not leaving you,' Jack said. âI don't like you one little bit, but as a particular hero of mine once said, “Ohana: nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” Now come on.'
With an almighty effort, Jack grabbed Cyrrus Globb and jumped as high and far as he could. A second later, both men plummeted towards the boiling, scalding water, well short of the Pyramid Eternia.
âNo!' screamed Ruth from the pyramid ledge. Peter pulled her back to stop her from almost falling in too.
Faster than anyone could really see, Bernice threw herself off the pyramid towards the dropping duo, reaching for them with one hand, reaching backwards with the other, shooting a grappling hook back to the pyramid.
The Doctor grabbed the cable once it embedded itself in the wall of the structure, holding it taut as Bernice swung round, grabbing Jack's left ankle and pulling his momentum around. Instead of the water, Jack, Bernice and Globb slammed into the pyramid, further down.
Globb looked at both Jack and Bernice, and then up at the Doctor, still holding the cable tightly, now helped by Peter and Ruth and Kik the Assassin.
âThank you,' he growled, and stared to climb upwards.
Bernice hugged Jack. âYou OK?'
âNo,' he muttered. âDon't tell Ruth but I think I just dislocated my shoulder and left hip.'
âWhy don't you want her to know?'
âBecause I can't have a wedding on crutches and in plaster.'
Bernice helped him back up, smiling in sympathy as he winced in pain.
Horace Jaanson was staring at the huge door to the Pyramid Eternia, just as he had when this had all begun on Aztec Moon. âHow do we get in?'
Bernice took the rock from the Doctor. âOpen Sesame,' she said, again echoing what she had done on Aztec Moon.
And the door swung open.
The Doctor ushered everyone inside, one by one. Just as he was about to go in, he looked back at what little remained of the great city of Sydney, and realised that standing, unfazed by the flame and smoke and utter devastation, was a man. In a white shirt.
âLue?'
He waved some ash out of his face, blown there on a sudden wind. When it was gone, the Indigenous man was gone too.
Inside the Pyramid Eternia, everything was calm, as if it was in a different place altogether.
âLike the inside of the TARDIS,' Bernice muttered as they walked ahead.
Finally they reached the altar area where Benny had seen future reflections of herself, Peter, Jack and Ruth. This time there was no Glamour / lodestone / key, whatever the rock was truly called. Instead, a beam of pulsating energy
arced upwards, like a series of concentric Jacob's Ladder discs of electricity.
âWhat's going on?' Horace Jaanson asked as they made their way safely down to the altar â no jumping this time, just a long hard climb down.
âThis?' The Doctor threw an arm up at the energy around them. âThis Professor Horace Jaanson of the fifty-first century, is the end of the universe, courtesy of the Ancients of the Universe. And it's pretty much all your fault, because you just couldn't leave it alone, could you?' The Doctor smiled. âAnd now it's up to me to save everything. Again.'