“Now,” he said, when he finally released her.
“I think I won’t spank you after all.”
It sounded so ominous, Jaymee was silent all the way back to the house, wondering whether it was really wise to unleash the wolf again.
Rage and jealousy burned inside Nick as he forced himself to ease up on the gas, slowing the truck down.
He couldn’t think straight, wanting only to take Jaymee away from that party.
He should question his strange behavior, but right now, all he wanted was her.
She hadn’t protested any further since his threat, hadn’t uttered a single word as she sat there, staring straight ahead.
His hands clenched around the steering wheel when he remembered Jed kissing her.
It was an irrational anger because he knew deep down Jed had initiated it, that Jed was testing him.
Instead of ignoring it like his head was telling him, he chose to satisfy the jealousy that gnawed at his heart.
Silence suited him fine.
He didn’t particularly feel like arguing or discussing.
Tonight, with her looking so damned beautiful, her hair like some gypsy enchantress, she had given him a glimpse of what he’d miss most—her sweet sexiness mixed with that bulldog determination.
He knew what she’d been up to, dancing with all those men.
He’d understood her motives, and had given her the space to do it.
She wanted to show him she could have fun without him, and he was equally determined to show her he wouldn’t let jealousy bother him.
Until Jed had appeared and danced with her.
Until he had kissed her.
Next thing he knew, he’d crossed the room, a roaring fury howling in his head, and Jed, damn his manipulative soul, had exposed his weakness with his usual cold, surgical approach.
Again, he ignored his training to analyze why he acted as he did; instead, he tortured himself with what he saw.
Jed had kissed her.
And she had kissed him back.
When they reached her house, he took her by the hand and led her to her bedroom.
She stood quietly by the bed, her hands clasped in front of her.
Deliberately, he pulled down the window shades and turned on the bedroom lights before walking back to her.
Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she didn’t say anything as she continued watching him.
It was obvious she was expecting a fight, but it wasn’t what he had in mind.
It was a shock to know he couldn’t stand the thought of her with someone else.
After all, wasn’t that what he wanted?
To take away her pain and let her live a normal, happy life?
Yet, the moment his mind sensed real competition, in the guise of his too-knowing cousin, something primitive had taken over, and all he wanted now was to assure himself she wouldn’t reject him for another.
She just stood there, as he unzipped her dress and slowly pulled the soft material off until it pooled around her feet.
For a long moment, he stared down at the lacy, strapless brassiere.
Kneeling down, he slid his hands down her legs, savoring the silky feel of her pantyhose.
She just stood there, still in her heels, as he caressed her intimately.
Suddenly, he buried his face in her belly, inhaling her soft fragrance.
His voice was muffled.
“I don’t think I can let you go.”
The admission shocked him.
Every trained part of him screamed out a denial.
Letting go was essential.
Letting go was control.
Jaymee’s hands were gentle as they framed his face, making him look at her grave, mysterious eyes with their speckled depths.
“You don’t have to,” she whispered.
Nick shook his head.
“It has to stop.
This wanting.
This needing.”
He stood up and carried her to the bed.
Placing her on the sheets, he sat down beside her.
“I have to get ready for tomorrow.”
Jaymee understood.
He needed to be alone.
She felt the tension in his body, felt how much he truly wanted to be with her.
She remembered how she’d fought a similar losing battle not so long ago where this man was concerned.
Now it was his turn.
“Why?” she asked simply.
“Because I cannot let emotions take over.
Jed already knows, and he keeps testing me.
I have a job to do.”
One that took him to too many places, too far away.
Wanting Jaymee, and needing her, would interfere.
Nick could see no way out.
“I’ll be downstairs in the study, working.
Go to sleep.”
Jaymee offered no protest as he left the room.
She lay awake for a long time, waiting for him, but he didn’t come back.
Finally, exhausted, she fell asleep.
As the hours ticked away, Nick worked on modifying the programs on Jed’s flashdrive, using it as an exercise to release his pent-up frustration.
He had to get himself back in control.
The next few days alone with Jed would be good for him, giving him a chance to distance himself from her.
It was very late by the time he finished.
Jaymee’s bedroom light was still on and he hoped she hadn’t waited up for him.
He was relieved to find her asleep.
Standing by the bed, he stared down at her for a long while, as an unfamiliar deep longing grew inside.
She was his to take, he knew it, but he wouldn’t take her away from her world.
It wouldn’t be fair, taking her away from all that she’d built for herself, and for what?
For a life of unknown danger with him?
No.
Quietly, he joined her under the sheets, careful not to wake her.
She curled against his body like a contented kitten, snuggling trustingly when he slid an arm under her head.
The longing grew like pins and needles.
Staring into the darkness, he absorbed the pain, refusing to nurse the hunger.
It would be so easy to satisfy what his body craved.
It didn’t help when her hand reached out for him in her sleep, seeking and finding him.
He stared in resolute silence into the darkness, ignoring her moving hand, ignoring his own hunger.
He would not give in.
He needed his control back.
*
The tension between them was palpable the next day.
Jed and Grace had exchanged a telling look and had gone about as if nothing was wrong.
The men worked on the siding around the house, cut a skylight hole on the roof, then turned to the countertops in the kitchen and bathroom.
Grace helped Jaymee finish the trim work, then they opted to start caulking and cleaning some of the windows.
They went out on the back porch for a late lunch.
Jaymee sat on the steps, picking at the weeds as she ate, her mind busy reshaping the back yard, figuring out how to clear the brush back so it looked more presentable.
Nick sat nearby, on the railing surrounding the porch, one tanned long leg dangling by her arm.
The urge to lean against it ate at her, and she determinedly concentrated on the food and the weeds.
She could feel his eyes on her, burning a hole in the back of her head.
Trying to ignore her own growing frustration, Jaymee turned her attention to Jed, who was sitting on the sawhorse, facing her.
He looked at her fidgeting hands with interest, and she stopped moving them.
“How long will you be gone?” she asked casually.
“A few days.
Three at the most,” Nick answered from above her.
She refused to make any direct comment to him.
“Is Grace going with the both of you?”
At the men’s silence, she demanded, “You aren’t thinking of letting her stay at Nick’s place without a car or company, are you?”
“I’ll be OK,” Grace assured her in a lazy drawl.
She was sprawled on a picnic blanket a few feet away, sunning herself.
A sudden suspicion formed in Jaymee’s mind, and she turned back to Jed, her voice fierce.
“Please tell me you aren’t going to let her live in the woods by herself.”
Jed darted a narrow glance at Nick, who drawled back from the railing, “Told you she doesn’t miss a thing.”
“You are!”
Jaymee was appalled.
“No!”
“She needs to…”
“No!”
Jaymee stood up, glaring down at Jed.
“Uh-uh, not in my neighborhood.
You can train her another time, Jed.
She’ll stay with me while you’re both gone.”
Grace turned onto her front, propping herself on her folded arms.
She didn’t say anything, but her brown eyes sparkled in the sunlight as she enjoyed the sight of someone actually daring to oppose her father.
“She’s with me because she’s in training,” Jed told her in a quiet voice, but his face was implacably cold.
“If I wanted her happily domestic, she’d be in
Ohio
with her grandmother.”
“Nick….”
Jaymee finally looked up at him, appealing with her eyes.
Surely he wouldn’t agree to let the young girl do this.
Nick studied her as he chewed on an apple, watching the myriad emotions flit over her face. “It’s between Jed and Grace,” he finally proffered an explanation, not taking any sides.
“You’re all insane!” exclaimed Jaymee, agitatedly pacing between the two watching men.
She folded her arms and stood in front of Jed.
“Uh-oh…” drawled Nick.
“I’ve seen that look before.”
Jed returned Jaymee’s glare expectantly.
“I’ll make you a bargain, Jed,” she said briskly.
She paused as he cocked his head.
“You let her stay with me, and I’ll give her some training.”
At Nick’s soft laughter behind her, she went on earnestly.
“I can’t bear the idea of her on her own out there.
She can work with me, learn how to do some sweat work.
I’ll run her exhausted with ten-hour days.
I’ll build her muscles carrying bundles of shingles.
I’ll even stop her orange juice intake.”
Nick fell off the railing laughing, whereas Grace groaned aloud in mock horror.
“No, no, don’t listen to her, Daddy!”
Jed’s light eyes glittered with amusement, although his expression was passive as ever.
“I don’t know,” he said mildly.
“You might kill her with all that training.”
“She’ll be building calf muscles, biceps, endurance.
She’ll be...” She stopped, realizing he’d just given her tacit permission.
“Yes?”
Jed nodded.
When Jaymee gave a sigh of relief, he turned to Nick, and said without inflection, “She’ll be fine.”
A muscle worked in his jaw as Nick abruptly stood up.
“Let’s look at your program before we go,” he said flatly, ignoring his cousin’s baiting.
“Have you modified it?”
“Yes.”
“I have a notepad and laptop in the bag in the kitchen.
We can check it out in there.”
The two men took what remained of their lunch with them.
As he passed Jaymee, Nick stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.
She wanted him to kiss her, but he was still in his strange mood.
So she stared back challengingly at him.
“Nicely done,” he whispered, and his fingers lingered for a moment before he went in.
Grace sleepily slapped at a fly as she turned on her back again.
“That was great, Jay.
Jed seldom backs down for anybody.”
“That’s because he knows I’ll keep my word,” Jaymee threatened lightly.
“My last day of freedom, then,” sighed Grace, closing her eyes.
“Do you know where Nick and your father are going?”
Jaymee didn’t want to pry, but couldn’t help it.
“Back to where Nick’s boat was.
Sorry, can’t tell you the location.”
Jaymee joined Grace on the blanket, putting on her sunglasses.
“It’s OK, I just need to sort of know.”
“I know,” Grace softly responded, her eyes still closed.
“I go through it too, you see.”
For the first time, Jaymee understood the burden of loving someone like Nick. From what she could gather, Grace lived with her grandmother and seldom saw her father.
She was a little girl who was forced to grow up fast.
She wondered whether she was lonely without her parents, whether she liked what her father did for a living.
Which brought her to wonder whether she herself could live like that, knowing Nick was always in some form of danger somewhere, whether she would be lonely.