Beyond These Walls (The Walls Duet #2) (24 page)

My feet moved faster than my words, and I found him wedged between my fist and the wall. “Don’t ever speak of my marriage! Do you understand?”

Even though my hand was pointed at his face, he just smiled. “Testy today.”

My punch sent him to the floor as my lungs burned, and my vision blurred.

“Do you feel better?” he yelled, wiping blood from the corner of his lip. “Or do you need more?”

He stood up and slipped out of his jacket, tossing it to the side. Holding his arms out wide, he said, “Come on, Jude. Hit me again. Will it help? Punching your jackass brother around?”

I didn’t know why, but suddenly, Roman became the sole reason for every goddamn problem in my life. No amount of reason or logic could talk me out of my overwhelming need to put him in his place for destroying everything I’d worked so hard to achieve.

He held his own as I tackled him to the ground. I gave him one last punch before he retaliated. I felt a jab to my side as I pummeled his stomach. He got in a few good punches before I had him in a headlock. He was quick, but I was stronger—and fucking pissed.

With a grunt, I pushed him away from me, both of us heaving and gulping in breaths as fast as we could take them. I felt warm liquid trickling down my lip, and my tongue darted out to find the coppery taste of blood. I looked up and found Roman rubbing his side and mumbling under his breath.

“Lailah’s pregnant,” I said softly, finding a spot on the floor, as I nursed my wounds.

Roman’s head whipped around, and our eyes met.

He understood. He might not have been around much, but he was right on point with the risks and the weight of it all.

“What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I have no clue,” I answered honestly.

“Does Mom know?” He walked over to the seating area, grabbed a couple of Kleenexes, and handed me one.

I held it to my mouth and felt a slight sting. “No. Please don’t tell her—not yet at least.”

He nodded silently. “Go home, Jude. You don’t belong here right now.”

I opened my mouth to protest, a hundred questions ready to fire off all at once.

“I’ve got it.”

I looked at him with a mixture of doubt and surprise.

“I can be a grown-up when I choose to be. Get the fuck out of here, and go be with your wife. This will all be here when you get back.”

I rose from my place on the floor, feeling every aching muscle in my body. Roman had been the one in the headlock, but he sure hadn’t gone down without a fight.

Grabbing my jacket from the back of my chair, I made my way to the door but stopped short. “Thanks, brother,” I said.

He nodded. “We both know I’m not doing this for you.”

“Either way, I’m grateful,” I replied before making my exit.

Ever since they’d met, Roman had developed a soft spot for my wife. Lailah would play it off and say it was just his budding humanity, but I didn’t agree. He had a driving need to protect her just like the rest of us did.

And right now, I needed all the help I could get.

As I stepped into the apartment, I noticed right away how quiet it was.

Too quiet.

“Lailah,” I called out.

Nothing.

I looked around, noticing the untouched kitchen and the empty living room. As I padded across the apartment toward the bedroom, I glanced into the office and guest bedrooms.

Nothing.

My stomach began to turn sour.

Crossing the threshold of our bedroom didn’t alleviate my nerves as my eyes went from one side to the other, and I still found nothing.

She wasn’t here.

I pulled out my cell phone, checking for missed messages, texts, anything that would alert me as to why she wasn’t home.

Maybe she’d just gone for a walk or run an errand. She normally had class today, but she’d mentioned she was skipping. She might have changed her mind.

I tried her cell, but it quickly went to voice mail.

Feeling frustrated, I walked into the bathroom, running the tap water waiting for it to turn ice cold. Cupping it in my hands, I splashed my face over and over until I felt my heart calm slightly. Grabbing a clean towel, I held it to my face and breathed slowly, in and out, rationalizing with myself, before I noticed how empty the counter looked.

The towel fell to the floor.

I opened the medicine cabinets and found everything of hers missing. Walking to the shower, I found her shampoo, shave gel, and other toiletries gone.

Running into the bedroom, I pulled open the doors to our closet. Dozens of hangers lie empty. Some were on the floor as if she’d packed quickly for wherever she set off to.

She’d left me.

Oh God, she left me.

My hands shook as I speed-dialed the number on my phone, waiting for Marcus to pick up.

He cheerfully greeted me. “Hey there, J-Man. How’s it going?”

“Where is she?” I asked in a rush.

Concern enveloped his tone. “Who? What are you talking about?”

“Lailah. Where the hell is she, Marcus?”

Silence.

“What is going on, Jude? Did you two have some sort of fight?”

“She left me, and the first place she would go is to Molly,” I said slowly, my voice gritty and flat.

“Molly spoke with her this morning, but she didn’t mention anything about Lailah coming here. What the hell is going on, Jude?”

“She talked with Molly?” I asked, ignoring his last question.

“Yeah. I was out surfing, and I think she called while Molly was feeding Zander. We babysat last night. She said Lailah sounded a little down, but they had a good chat.”

“Do you know what they talked about?”

“Motherhood, I guess. She asked what it was like for Molly as a single mother or something like that. Seriously, Jude, you’re scaring me. What could possibly have sent her packing?”

My eyes went wide with panic, and I nearly doubled over. “Will you call me, if she contacts you?”

“Jude, will you tell me what’s going on?” he pleaded.

“I can’t—not yet, not now.”

“Okay, son,” he answered, sounding defeated. “I’ll let you know if we hear anything. Do you need anything?” he offered, his voice warm and sure.

“Just my wife,” I answered.

We said our good-byes, and I promised to call in the morning with any updates.

Soon, it quickly became silent again in the apartment. I looked around, feeling swallowed by the square feet of the place. Without her here, the walls suddenly felt large and ominous, growing taller and darker, like a nightmare come to life.

I needed to find her.

Watching the sunset fall across the horizon, I never moved. Feeling paralyzed by my uselessness, I just sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her to come back to me.
Where was she? If she didn’t show up in California, how would I even begin to look for her?

Around eight that night, my phone finally buzzed. I grabbed for it, seeing a single text from Marcus.

She’s here,
was all it said.

No longer in on hold flux, I had what I’d been waiting for, and I jumped into action. I threw anything I could grab into a suitcase while making flight arrangements on my phone at the same time.

Over the years, I’d been told every marriage, even the good ones, would reach a point where it was time to either fight for the one you wanted or call it a draw and collect your winnings.

It was the great fight or flight of marriage.

I’d known, someday, Lailah and I would have ours. I’d just never expected it to be a month after we’d said our vows.

As I packed the last of my suitcase and locked the apartment, I knew which path I’d chosen, which path I’d always choose.

For Lailah, I’d always fight.

LESS THAN TWO days.

Two days of doctor’s appointments, arguments, and rushed decisions.

Two days of longing for the way it had once been.

Even though I had made the decision to leave, my heart still bled for the loss. It still reached out for him in the darkness and called out for him in the wee hours of the morning. I hoped we could repair the damage that had been done. I hoped with a bit of time he might see things differently and perhaps warm up to the idea of becoming a father.

Or he’d have to possibly let me go.

My eyes squeezed shut as I listened to the sound of the waves crashing nearby. I pulled my sweater tighter and leaned back into the reclined lounge chair on the deck, admiring the stars I’d missed so much while in the bright lights of the city. The condo was quiet tonight. After my surprise appearance and my rapid meltdown soon after, my parents had helped me settle in, giving me the guest room closest to the ocean. From the bed, I could hear the soothing sounds of the water and feel the heat of the sun as it moved across the sky.

My mother had held me as I cried and told her everything that had happened. The phone call earlier that morning had suddenly made sense to her, and as she’d cradled me in her arms, she’d stroked my hair and told me it would be all right—even though both of us knew better.

We’d faced hardship before.

Marcus had come in after that, wanting to know everything on the medical side of things. Until the next day when I could transfer my records back to his care, all he had was what I could tell him, and unfortunately, it wasn’t much.

“We’ll get you set up with the best OB in town,” he’d promised. “We’ll figure it out.”

I’d nodded, thanking him for his kindness.

“Hey, you want to order a pizza or something? Watch a movie?” he’d offered. His head had casually leaned against the doorframe, his tanned body turned toward me.

“No, I’m fine. Why don’t you two go out or something? You don’t need to hang around here just for me.”

He must have sensed my need for solitary because he had nodded. “Okay, kid. I’ll bring you back something.”

“Sounds good.”

Now, it was just me and the waves.

“I thought you said watching the water was my thing,” a deep voice called out in the darkness.

I turned to see Jude standing in the shadows, holding a suitcase in one hand and the spare key my mother kept hidden in a ceramic frog in the other.

“I figured I’d give it a try,” I answered calmly, swallowing the lump in my throat that had just formed at the mere sight of him.

I stood, fiddling with the sleeves of my sweater, as our eyes met. He looked taller and much more formidable as I watched him drop his bag and stalk forward.

“All the way across the country? You know we have oceans on the East Coast?”

“I needed some space,” I replied softly.

He closed the distance between us. He was so close I could feel his angry breath on my neck.

“I don’t want space, Lailah.”

His mouth closed over mine, searing every nerve ending with fire until I was consumed by only him. My hands clung to him, pulling him closer, and his body molded to mine. Every heated, turbulent word and emotion I’d felt over the last two days exploded as I touched him.

I wanted him to feel my pain, my outrage, and torment. I wanted him to understand just how much he’d hurt me by refusing to support me and instead feeling like he could make decisions for me.

It was my life—mine, not his.

I pushed him backward, watching his eyes go wide with shock and a flicker of heat.

“Angry, Lailah?” he asked, the intensity of his face aglow by the distant moonlight. “Good. Me, too.”

He grabbed me around the waist and hoisted me over his shoulder. I punched at his back, but he just laughed darkly as he carried me through the apartment.

When he spotted my things in the room toward the back, he lowered me to the bed and shut the door. I watched in stunned silence as his clothes came off, one piece at a time. His eyes never left mine. It was as if I were his hard-earned prize.

He bent down and slowly slipped my sweater off my shoulders. “You always said you wanted all of me, remember?”

My gaze lifted to him, confusion painting my face until I saw his crooked grin.

“Well, I guess you can have your wish now,” he said with a hint of sadness.

I wanted to stop him, tell him we didn’t have to do this tonight, but before I could, his mouth was on mine once again, and I was lost to the feeling of his naked body pressed against mine. Every article of clothing I wore was shed until skin met skin, and I was drowning in his heat and warmth.