Beyond the Stars (10 page)

UNPLANNED

Jack and I continued to meet for lunch whenever possible, talk on the phone every night, and see each other on the weekends. I didn’t even attempt to keep it a secret that we were dating at work. I figured the office masterminds would see right through me. Tess and Michael seemed sincerely happy for us. Josh was nice but appeared jealous at times when he saw how Jack and I looked at each other across the lunch table. I was ecstatic about my new job and new love. My life was perfect.

What goes up must come down, right? It’s a simple fact. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Life couldn’t be this easy. I left work feeling sick. I walked into my apartment and headed straight to the toilet.
I think I vomited everything I ate this week. What’s wrong with me? Oh no
, I thought as I rushed over to my wall calendar and started counting the days from my last period.
What? No! I missed a month!
I stood in disbelief when I realized I hadn’t had a period in four weeks! I sat down on the kitchen stool. I don’t even think I needed to take a pregnancy test. I felt pregnant. S
tupid, useless condoms! How could I be so careless and irresponsible?
How in the world could I tell my parents? They always taught me that I should be married and financially stable before I started a family. I stared at the floor, only to be startled by the ringing phone. “Hello.”

“Sami, hi, honey. I wasn’t sure if you’d be home yet. How are you today?” said my mom cheerfully. Of course, it was my mother. Our mother-daughter ESP was working flawlessly today.

“Pregnant,” I blurted out. There was dead silence on the other end of the extension. I listened attentively for the thud of her body hitting the floor but heard nothing. Finally, I spoke. “Mom, did you
hear
me?”

“Yes, of course I heard you, Sami,” said my mother sharply. I braced myself for the unavoidable lecture that I was about to endure.

“What does Jack think about this?” she asked carefully, trying not to pry.

“He doesn’t know yet. I haven’t even taken a pregnancy test. I know I am, though. I’m four weeks late!” I shouted.

“Okay, Samantha—calm down. You’re going to be fine. You are going to keep the baby, right? I mean, the way you talk about Jack, you have to—”

“Yes. I could never hurt any part of him,” I answered without so much as a second thought.

My mother let out a sigh of relief. “Are you going to get married?” she asked in a faint voice.

“I don’t know, Mom.
This
just happened. I haven’t even told Jack. I hope he doesn’t freak out.” Jack was such a good guy. He was almost too good to be true. I hoped that my being pregnant wouldn’t make him want to run. It would crush my view of him. I had never been so in love in my life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.

“It will be okay.”

“Mom, are you sure you aren’t mad at me?” I had to ask. Why wasn’t she yelling at me? Shouldn’t I be married and have money saved up?

“Sami, you can’t always plan everything so carefully in your life. Sometimes you just have to be grateful when you receive such a precious blessing,” she said reassuringly.

“Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sami. You’re going to be a great mom. Dad and I will help you with whatever we can. Tell Jack. I think he’ll be happy,” she promised me.

I hung up the receiver and looked up at the clock. “Oh, no …
Jack
,” I screamed when I remembered I needed to get ready. I was supposed to go to dinner with him in fifteen minutes. I stood up from the kitchen stool slowly, in case I needed to make another run to the bathroom.

I was surprised by how normal I felt. I was fine. Amazingly, I didn’t have one ounce of nausea.

I thought about my mother’s reaction. I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me. My parents had always supported me in my decisions. They had also suffered from infertility before they miraculously had me. They had tried fertility treatments and in-vitro fertilizations many times without success. They had all but given up on having children and spent their lives dedicated to their careers and taking extravagant vacations. My mother didn’t get pregnant with me until she was forty-six years old. She thought she was in menopause. My dad was thrilled. Although he was nervous about being an older father, at fifty, he wanted me just as much as she did. I knew they would have liked to have had more kids. But being an only child had some advantages. The best one was all the adult conversations I was privy to because they would forget that there was a child in the room. It’s amazing what you can learn. One thing I know for sure is that they secretly worried about never having the chance to become grandparents since they had me so late. To make matters worse, I never dated anyone who moved me the way Jack did. I had only a few boyfriends in the past. Usually, I was attracted more to their minds and ignored the physical part. I was never a smitten teenager in love. I think they worried that I’d become an old maid. But Jack, he was attractive both inside and out. I couldn’t hide my excitement if I tried.

Jack arrived at my apartment exactly at six. I invited him in so I could deliver the news at home. Besides, my apartment was geographically closer to the nearest emergency room than the restaurant in case he went into shock.

“Jack, I’m late,” I told him as he stood in my entryway. Why not just come out and say it?

“You look ready to me. Come on, I’m starving,” he stated, not understanding the meaning behind my comment. I took his hand and led him to the kitchen barstools to sit down.

“Jack, I need to tell you something,” I said. Maybe I could deliver the news with a little more grace. He sat looking at me with a puzzled expression.

“What, you hate Italian food? I don’t care. We can eat somewhere else.” He chuckled under his breath.

“I think … I think I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.
There goes my telling him gently. At least he was sitting down.
I stared at his face to quickly survey his reaction. His expression was unreadable. His mouth opened a little while he processed what I had said. Without warning, Jack jumped to his feet, and before I knew it, I was in his arms. He held me tightly around my back and hugged me with an unbreakable grip.

“Oh—a baby, that’s fantastic! Sami, are you sure?” he asked as he tipped me back to look at my face. He seemed a little apprehensive by my silence.

“So you’re happy about this.” I looked up at his face to see if he was truly glad. He wasn’t stunned
or
running for the door. He was smiling from ear to ear with that beautiful, breathtaking smile. Could he be anymore handsome?

“Yes,
aren’t
you?”

“I think so. I’m just nervous. I wasn’t sure how you would feel about becoming a dad,” I confessed.

“Are you kidding? Don’t be foolish! Sami, I have always wanted kids, and I really want you! You are going to be the most amazing mother.”

“You think so, huh?” I muttered.

Jack quickly dropped down on one knee and took my hand. “Samantha Gerris, will you marry me?” he asked with his engaging voice.

I looked at him, with his impromptu proposal. I’m sure I looked shocked. It wasn’t how I imagined the moment. I thought that a marriage proposal had to be this carefully orchestrated event with a ring. I felt a rush of excitement. Tears burst from my eyes and ran down my cheeks. I couldn’t move or speak. All I felt was how much I loved him. I looked into his bright eyes. We were making the decision to share our lives together, without all the hoopla. Just like that, right here, right now. It was perfect!

“Yes, I’d love to. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.” I smiled and pulled him up to my lips and kissed him. He lifted me up from the floor and spun me around like we were on a dance floor. He put me down after a few spins and hugged me tightly into his body.

“You make me so happy. I love you so much,” he whispered passionately. His voice rang in my ear. I thought I had died and went to heaven. I couldn’t believe I would get to share my life with someone so amazing. My mother was right. I should learn to be grateful for the good in my life and stop trying to control everything around me.

On the way to dinner, Jack told me that he was already planning to ask me to marry him. He said he was hesitant because we had only dated for a little over three months. He explained how he wanted to meet my parents first and ask my father’s permission. This shouldn’t have surprised me. Jack was a traditional guy. He was even too proper at times. My dad would have gotten a kick out of that. He always was a little overprotective of me. It would have played right into his parental ego. I imagined my dad enjoying his moment of power. He would have taken his time, making Jack sweat while he questioned him endlessly. Maybe it was better for everyone if it was a done deal.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. Tess gave me a bonus for completing my recent assignment at work. I almost forgot all about it.”

“Well, then we must celebrate. We’ll get dessert since you can’t drink. Plus, I’m really hungry tonight.”

“You don’t sound surprised.”

“Please, Sami, you have to know how good you are at your job. You’re a breath of fresh air. I’ve heard that everyone is thrilled with your ideas. You’re just what that place needed.”

I was flattered by his perception of my job performance. I also felt relieved to hear that he understood my commitment to my career. I needed my independence. I could never tolerate someone who was overbearing. Jack gave me the impression that he would support me no matter what I did.

At dinner, we talked about the type of wedding we should have. Should we go to Vegas and get it over with? No, my parents would never forgive that. But it had to be soon. I didn’t want to be huge, nor did I want to wait for the baby to be born before I could call Jack my husband.

“Jack, I want to meet your dad and your brother before the wedding.” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t met his family yet, either. Our relationship was really moving fast.

“Oh, Sami, you mean my dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t tell you that my brother passed away.” He wrinkled his forehead with a stressed-out grimace.

“What …
when
did he die?” I asked, stunned.

He bit his lip. “Six years ago,” he said, appearing somewhat embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. You always talk about him like he’s still here,” I said empathetically.

A solemn expression took over his face. “I know—it’s complicated,” said Jack, shaking his head. He looked down at the table before closing his eyes as he recalled his painful memory. “Peter was killed in battle by an incoming missile when he was only twenty-one. His comrades said he died the best way. He didn’t feel a thing or see it coming. I know that this is going to sound weird, but I feel like he watches over me. Sometimes when I’m flying, I imagine he’s my wingman. I can hear him in my head telling me what I should do. I like to talk about him in the present tense so I don’t have to think about how much I miss him.”

“Did you ever get therapy?” I asked sympathetically.

“No! Great, now you think I’m
crazy
, like I’m hearing voices,” he said defensively while he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“I didn’t say that! Oh no, what I mean is, did you ever get grief counseling?” I tried to clarify my remark.

“It wouldn’t change anything. It is what it is. When you take a vow to protect your country, you know that you may have to sacrifice yourself in the process for the greater good.”

“I understand that, but first you lost your mother and then your brother. The pain must be unbearable.”

“The initial sting is gone.” He leaned back in his chair, letting his arms fall limply at his sides. “I still can’t believe Pete’s been gone for six years now. Losing him really did both me and my dad in.”

“How’s your father handling it?”

“My dad’s never been quite the same. It’s like he shut down even more. He never got over losing my mother. He started drinking too much after we lost her. We were all a mess. My mom used to take care of everything. Women really do help hold a house together. You can only imagine three men trying to fend for themselves. We could barely function. I must say, things could get
pretty
ugly in the Bennett household.” He frowned while he swirled his cup in his hand, making the ice cubes rattle.

“It would be terrible to grow up without a mom. Do you miss her?”

“I can hardly remember her now. All I remember from my childhood is taking care of my little brother. I had to grow up fast and act strong so Pete wouldn’t cry so much,” he said with sadness. I felt his sorrow radiating from him. He seemed to hold it close, like it was part of him. It was as though it gave him the strength to survive through anything. It was what made him so brave. I suddenly felt even more grateful for my cushy upbringing.

CHAPTER 8