Beyond the Past (4 page)

Chapter 7

Soft rivulets of hot water cascaded down his skin as he ran his hands through his hair and tried to remember the last time he’d had a hot shower. Maybe two weeks ago at the truck stop? He’d found ten bucks on the street and decided instead of booze, he’d get a shower. But really, who knew how long ago it had been? The days all ran into each other. He didn’t know for sure—being homeless made time continuous, and he lacked the ability to backtrack from one day to the last.

Pouring shampoo into his hand, he took a deep inhale. The smell struck him as clean and fresh, like an early spring morning in the forests of Oregon. As he rubbed it into his scalp, it tingled his nose, as well as his skin.

The bubbles slid down his torso to his legs, leaving a trail of light fire down his skin, cleansing him.

He rinsed, and shampooed again, adding a little conditioner this round. Who knew the next time he would be able to do so? Maybe he could talk Garrett into cutting a little bit off the length of his hair, but he didn’t want to be shaved. He needed his hair to help keep him warm. In another few months, it would warm up, and then, he’d go for the military look.

As he ran a razor down his face, tears stung his eyes at how good it felt to rid himself of the dirty beard. He scrubbed under his fingernails until they were once again white, and ran the bar of soap over his body multiple times. When he emerged from the shower stall, he literally felt like a new man.

He walked into the bedroom as he towel-dried off and noticed a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt folded at the end of the bed, resting on the black and red patchwork quilt. A bottle of lotion had been placed on the dark, wooden nightstand. Once completely dry, he slathered lotion over his feet, face, hands, and elbows, his skin burning at first at the contact, then relief set in.

After slipping on the sweatpants and sweatshirt, he ran his fingers through his hair, feeling human for the first time in months. The clothing hung on his frame, but he took a moment to lie down on the quilt and appreciate the softness around him.

“Lucas?” Garrett called while knocking on the door. “You okay in there?”

Sighing, he sat up. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Whenever you’re ready, we’ve got food out here for you.”

His stomach still rolled from breakfast, but he’d trained himself to eat whenever he could during the past few months, so instinct took over. He stood and went to the door. When he opened it, Garrett leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his massive chest.

As Lucas swam in the clothing that should have fit him, shame assailed him while he stared at Garrett’s huge frame. How could the man deal with the aftermath of the accident, but he couldn’t? Why did he want to literally disappear from life?

“You look good all cleaned up,” Garrett said.

“No more turkey vulture?”

“Nope. Not quite as cute as a fuzzy bunny, but you never have been. Are you ready?”

He nodded. “Just let me put some socks on.”

Garrett watched him as he sat down on the bed and donned the wool socks.

“I have to admit, I’m not feeling all that hungry.”

“Too bad. You’re going to want to fuel up.”

“For what?” Joe Smith had said he wanted to talk to him, and listening didn’t require all that much energy.

“You’ll see. C’mon.”

He followed Garrett down the short hallway, marveling at the craftsmanship of the building. The logs lay stacked perfectly on top of each other, and the hardwood floors gleamed. When they entered the living room, flames danced in a large stone fireplace, and a huge picture window garnered views outside to the pond and the forest beyond. It reminded him of the commune where he grew up, and for a moment, he had a twinge of homesickness, but it quickly passed.

Whoever had built this had put in a lot of time and thought into the construction and how the house must be situated on the property to showcase the natural beauty.

“Mr. Tate!” Joe said, turning his wheelchair around and facing them. “You look like a new man after a shower!”

Lucas smiled. “I feel like one. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Of course.” Joe wheeled himself toward the kitchen. “Please, come eat. Thomas has prepared steak, mashed potatoes, and vegetables for us.”

Lucas followed and Garrett brought up the rear, and he couldn’t help but notice they’d be having the exact meal their platoon always ate the night before they were deployed.

“Sit, please,” Joe said, rolling himself up to the long oak table.

By habit, Lucas sat on the bench. He always liked to see everything and everyone in the room, and he also liked his back up against the wall. Garrett slid in next to him.

“Would you care for a roll?” Joe asked, passing a basket to him. “Thomas made them this morning and just reheated them.”

The smell of fresh bread wafted from the napkin covering the basket, and his mouth watered. He took one and lathered it with butter, his mouth exploding with home-cooked goodness.

He closed his eyes a moment, savoring the taste. He had always loved to cook, which was good as Gabby lacked skills in the kitchen. The rolls reminded him of Thanksgiving and Christmas meals when at home with Gabby and they’d invite the men from his unit and their families over to celebrate. He’d spent days in the kitchen preparing food as he’d loved cooking for others. The day was always great as they ate too much food, drank too much beer and hurled insults and good-natured barbs at each other about everyone’s favorite teams as they watched football. However, he always sighed with relief when everyone left so he could change into his sweats and lounge on the couch with Gabby in his arms.

“I see you appreciate Thomas’s efforts,” Joe said, breaking Lucas’s reverie.

He opened his eyes and nodded. “I do.”

“Good. Please, eat more.”

“And drink some Gatorade,” Garrett mumbled from beside him. “I’m sure you’re dehydrated.”

Lucas did as told and gulped down the cherry-flavored liquid in the crystal wine glass.

He helped himself to another piece of bread just as Thomas came in from the back deck.

“I don’t believe you two have been formally introduced,” Joe said. “Thomas, please meet Lucas Tate. Mr. Tate, this is the man responsible for the fine meal you’re eating.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Lucas said, and Thomas gave him a nod before carrying over a platter of sizzling steaks. “Thank you for this meal.”

“If my research is correct, you like yours medium well, Mr. Tate. Is that right?” Joe asked.

“Yes.” He glanced over at Garrett. They’d been together in a platoon for three years, so Garrett knew everything from how he liked his steak done to what underwear he preferred.

“Looks fantastic, Thomas,” Garrett said as the other man set down the platter of meat.

Garrett stabbed a slice of beef and passed the plate to Lucas. He grabbed one that looked in the medium range, and then handed it to Joe. Thomas slid in the chair next to Joe and took the steaks from him.

The potatoes made the same rounds, as did the asparagus and broccoli medley.

They ate in silence for a moment, before Joe spoke. “Would you prefer to hear my offer to you sooner or later?”

Lucas poured some gravy over his potatoes, wondering if he’d ever cooked anything this good or if he’d been deprived for so long, he just didn’t remember. “I think sooner is best.” He wiped his mouth with the napkin, almost excited to hear what this strange man had to say.

Joe nodded. “Very well, but I ask that you don’t give me a response until tomorrow at this time, which is . . . four in the afternoon. Can we agree on that?”

Lucas speared a piece of steak, the meat almost melting in his mouth. He looked around the cozy cabin. The gleaming hardwood floors, stone fireplace, and comfortable furniture definitely beat sleeping in an abandoned casino. The mashed potatoes he spooned onto his plate looked and tasted better than anything the church served. Yes, he could hang around for another day. What did he have to lose? Absolutely nothing. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Joe smiled and brought the glass to his lips. “I’m so happy, Mr. Tate. Thank you for your time.”

Chapter 8

Gabby dabbed a little lip-gloss on.
Okay, good to go.
Rachel would be over to pick her up in just a few minutes, and they’d meet Rachel’s friend, Cherri, and the possible new client at a bar downtown. The bar scene didn’t appeal much to her, but the possible paycheck did.

Walking to the living room, she glanced out the window and saw Rachel pulling up in her white Mercedes convertible. Why the woman drove a convertible in the Northwest where the sun shone for only a few months a year, Gabby didn’t understand. Shaking her head, she grabbed her umbrella and stepped onto the porch, turned, and locked the door. She popped the umbrella open and ran to the car, the rain pouring down on the plastic dome, making it difficult to even hear her own thoughts.

“Hey,” she said, sliding in next to Rachel.

“You’re going to wear that?”

She peered at her white, button-down shirt, grey slacks, and black boots.

“And hello to you, too. What’s wrong with this?” she asked as she took in Rachel’s blood-red dress, black stilettos, and a different black leather jacket than she’d worn the night before. Huge silver hoops dangled from her lobes, and lipstick matching her dress glowed on her lips under the car light.

“You look like you’re going to a church function, not a bar.” Rachel pulled away from the curb.

“I’m going to a business meeting,” she stated, staring at the falling rain swooshing across the windshield.

“You’re going to a bar.”

“To potentially get business,” she gritted, her tone harsher than she’d intended.

After a few minutes, Rachel sighed. “You know, you need to start thinking about moving on.”

Gabby shut her eyes. They’d had this conversation more than once, but she wasn’t ready. Would she ever be? Maybe someday in the far-off future, but not now. In her heart, she hoped Lucas would come back; yet, in her soul, she worried he hadn’t left on his own accord.

She certainly didn’t have any proof of that, but the thought niggled at her mind every now and then. In her fantasies, she secretly hoped he’d been kidnapped by some entity from the government she didn’t know of for some reason she couldn’t even begin to fathom.

Yes, she tended to have an overactive imagination.

“He’s not coming back, Gabby,” Rachel murmured into the darkness.

Even if he wasn’t, she lacked the desire to move on. She still wore her wedding ring; she still kept pictures of them up around the house. Although, her resolve waned and she admitted she’d grown lonely, she wouldn’t give up on Lucas or their marriage until she saw a body or heard otherwise from him. She simply didn’t believe they were truly over.

The monthly visits by the military had never sat right with her, especially since he’d been discharged. It just didn’t make any sense. Why would they want to call on him so often, especially when he no longer belonged to the military anymore? She’d asked him many times, but he hadn’t been very forthcoming in his answers.

They remained silent until Rachel pulled into the bar parking lot. They’d arrived early enough they could get a close parking space. “Let’s go meet your new client,” Rachel said, stepping out of the car with her umbrella.

Gabby did the same.

They ran into the half-filled bar and looked around at the patrons as they folded their umbrellas. The bar had been done in dark, shiny wood trimmed with gold. Chocolate-brown booths lined both sides of the space, while high-back bar stools hugged the edges of the bar itself. Classy and comfortable would be words Gabby would use to describe the establishment.

“There they are.” Rachel pointed to a large circular booth in the back.

Gabby followed her, gazing over at Cherri and her potential new client. She’d met Cherri once about a month ago. The woman stood around five-foot-tall with short blonde hair and an almost sickly, rail-thin body.  She remembered wondering if Cherri was ill when they’d been introduced. Rachel had assured her she wasn’t, and the woman ate like she wouldn’t see food for another week.

Sure enough, Gabby glimpsed a huge plate of nachos and a beer in front of her.

Cherri slid out of the booth and greeted Rachel with a smile and hug, said hello to Gabby, and then turned to the man in the booth.

“This is Jerrod. Jerrod, this is my friend, Rachel, and her friend, Gabby, the realtor.”

Jerrod stood up and gave her a firm shake, and she couldn’t help but compare him to Lucas, just like she did with every man she met. While Lucas stood about five-foot-ten and was muscular and wide, Jerrod was over six foot and slim. Lucas’s hands had always been rough, while Jerrod’s felt baby soft. Brown slacks covered long legs, and his button-down shirt matched his ocean-blue eyes. Inky black hair framed his face, and he gave her a friendly smile.

“It’s nice to meet you,” he said. “Jerrod Stern. I was told you’re the go-to girl for a guy buying a house in this area.”

She couldn’t help but smile at his charming grin as he shook her hand.

“Please, have a seat.” He indicated toward the booth.

Rachel motioned for her to get into the booth, and then slid in next to her, situating Gabby next to Jerrod.

She felt his gaze on her as she ordered a glass of wine.

“So, were you born in Portland?” he asked.

She looked over at him and shook her head. “No. I’ve lived here just under a year.”

“How do you like it?”

She shrugged; she’d like it a whole lot more if she still had her husband around. “The rain is hard to get used to, but it’s beautiful here.”

He nodded. “I love all the trees.”

She studied his smooth, clean-shaven skin while he talked, which only reminded her of Lucas’s constant stubble and the way it tickled when they kissed, and how he loved rubbing his face on her stomach while she screamed at him to stop, barely able to breathe from the laughter.

As Jerrod discussed his love for the outdoors, it brought back memories of Lucas and her hiking in the mountains of North Carolina. They hadn’t done any hiking in Oregon after they’d relocated, as things had just spiraled out of control.

After his discharge and their relocation from North Carolina, she’d had to go to school to get her real estate license to practice in Oregon. She hadn’t minded, secretly happy to have Lucas out of harm’s way and underfoot. After six tours in the Middle East and a couple of special missions to South America, she’d been excited he was finally getting a rest, and she’d looked forward to their future together. They had always talked of wanting children, yet, in two years’ time, they hadn’t been successful. She always chalked it up to nature telling them the timing was off. With him home, it felt like everything fell into place to try for some kids.

Yet, her visions of marital bliss had been shot to hell by Lucas’s behavior. He’d rarely talked about what he had seen and done on his tours in the Middle East, and every now and then, he’d wake with nightmares or have a few weeks where he had a hard time adjusting to civilian life. The most prominent example she could remember took her to when they’d gone shopping at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon. Lucas had become very agitated in the crowd, breaking out into a sweat and eventually having to wait in the car to get some space. Yet, eventually he would be able to adjust to civilian life and everything would return to normal.

Things became different when he came home from Guatemala, and she could tell almost immediately. Her good-natured, fun-loving husband had turned into a brooding, closed-off man, and it hurt. The adjustment into civilian mode never happened for him after Guatemala.

Rachel took over the conversation, gushing about the hiking, especially at Mount St. Helen’s, the volcano that erupted in 2008. “Now, that’s gorgeous over there,” she said as she sipped her Cosmo.

Gabby narrowed her gaze on her friend. She couldn’t remember Rachel ever hiking anywhere. In fact, Rachel probably didn’t own a pair of boots without a heel.

Jerrod talked of his love of the outdoors and the conversation flowed easily between the four of them. Gabby actually found herself enjoying the evening, as well as Jerrod’s company. He proved funny, charming, and yes, he flirted with her despite the wedding ring she still wore.

They decided to order dinner, and she settled on the steak and vegetables. Jerrod had the same; Rachel had tortilla soup and a salad; Cherri ordered a burger.

Where did all that food go?

The touching of legs under the table, the graze of his fingers over hers as he handed her the pepper, and the gazes that lasted just a little too long, sent a shiver down her spine and guilt twisted her gut. Although this man represented the complete physical opposite of Lucas, she found her heart beating just a little bit quicker, and a slow blush heated her cheeks. Sure, men flirted with her, but she never paid them any notice as Lucas had always been the center of her heart. But now... now, he’d disappeared, and having no indication he would return, she found herself enjoying being the object of Jerrod’s attention. Did she like it because she was so lonely, or because of the man himself?

After dinner, they stood to leave, and Gabby realized she’d completely forgotten that Jerrod was a potential client and hadn’t talked at all about what he wanted in a house.

“I’m sorry about that,” she said as they maneuvered through the now crowded bar.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jerrod said, stopping and turning to her. “It gives me a chance to get your phone number.”

She came up to his chest and needed to tilt her head to meet his gaze. His eyes were so damn blue—did he wear colored contacts?

Gabby glanced around him and noticed Cherri and Rachel waiting for them at the door.

“Do you have a card?” he asked. “Can I call you a little bit later tonight?”

She smiled and reached into her purse, finding her business cards after moving around a few items. “Here.”

He looked it over and smiled at her. “It was really nice to meet you, Gabby,” he said above the din. “I’m looking forward to working with you.”

Just then, another bar patron jostled them, sending her off balance and heading for the floor. Jerrod grabbed her arm and surprised her with his strength as he righted her back on her feet. She always equated power with girth, but that must’ve been because of Lucas’ strong, stocky build.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded and flashed the apologizing patron a nasty look.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, not letting go over her arm, but loosening his grip.

She allowed him to lead her to the door, and they pushed out into the chilly, wet night.

“C’mon, girl.” Rachel pushed open her umbrella.

“Goodnight,” Gabby said to Jerrod and Cherri.

“I’ll call you later,” he shouted as Gabby and Rachel made a dash to the car.

Once inside, Rachel cranked the heater and rubbed her hands in front of it. “He got your number?”

Gabby nodded, a shiver traveling down her spine. She didn’t mind being cold, but preferred snow to rain. She loved watching the quiet flakes as they fell to the ground, leaving a winter wonderland. Rain, on the other hand, just left puddles for her to dodge, bad hair days, and wet feet. “Yes.”

“Oh, yeah, my girl Gabby is going to be getting some wood any day now!” Rachel exclaimed, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Oh, I’m not. That dude back there, he’s all hot for you. I saw the way he was giving you that ‘I want to fuck you’ look with those baby blues.”

“Stop it, Rachel.” She laughed. “He was not.”

“Oh, yes, he was.”

She sighed, knowing that arguing with Rachel would be an exercise in futility.

“I’m glad you aren’t denying it,” Rachel added, pulling on to the freeway.

“It’s business, Rachel. He needs a house, I’m a realtor. That’s where it ends.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Gabby. However, I can tell you that you’re going to be getting the business on top, from behind, and any way you can take it. That long, muscular body is going to be wrapped around you tighter than a Christmas bow.”

“I’m not sleeping with him, Rachel! Come on!”

“Well, if you aren’t going to, I wonder how he’d like to dip his vanilla wafer into some hot chocolate.”

Gabby burst out laughing. “Fine, go ahead,” she said, but immediately regretted the words. She really didn’t have any intentions of sleeping with Jerrod in the near future, but the thought of Rachel getting her claws into him gave her a bad taste in her mouth. Maybe, someday, a long time from now, she’d be ready to sleep with him. Just not now.

“I’ll see if he’s interested.” Rachel sighed. “I could look into those eyes all damn night.”

They rode for a while in silence, and then Rachel said, “That better be one hell of a big vanilla wafer. You know I like my men hung.”