Beyond the Consequences: Book 5 of the Consequences Series (Volume 5) (20 page)

Despite the late hour, perspiration formed on her skin as she walked toward the pool. Growing up in Indiana, the diversity of Iowa’s weather never surprised Claire, but on days such as this, with the temperature high and humidity oppressive, she reminded herself of the barren landscape of winter. Thoughts of the snow that covered their estate six months earlier helped her welcome and accept the heat. Nearing the beckoning cool water, Claire found herself lost in thoughts and memories. She knew it was her hormones wreaking havoc: her ups and downs were more dramatic. One moment she would laugh and the next she felt like crying. Though Tony worried, Dr. Brown assured them it was all normal.

Tony and her doctors were the only ones who knew about her pregnancy. Other than the dramatic mood swings, it seemed to be going well. So far she hadn’t experienced the bouts of morning sickness that she’d had with Nichol. However, she was only six weeks along and there was still time. With Nichol, she hadn’t even realized that she was pregnant until this time in the pregnancy. With this little one, she knew as soon as she missed her period. Her and Tony’s plans to expand their family were a month ahead of schedule. The doctors had told them to wait until this month to try, and they had—well, except for the one night. A smile came to her lips and her cheeks rose. It certainly seemed that when it came to making babies she and Tony didn’t require months of practice. The fact that she never became pregnant during their first marriage or before was a testament to the insert she’d had implanted.

Leaving her robe on the lounge chair and her sandals beside it, Claire stepped carefully down the pool’s stairs and immersed herself in the tepid water. The goose bumps didn’t register as she remembered that night:

She and Tony were in New York alone. They weren’t really alone. That rarely occurred. Eric had gone with them while Taylor and Phil stayed in Iowa. It was the first time they’d spent a few nights away from Nichol since they’d been reunited as a family, and as much as Claire had looked forward to the time away, she missed their daughter.

Nevertheless, she managed to busy herself with things she used to enjoy: a trip to the spa and time on 5
th
Avenue. Being the middle of May, the weather was perfect as she walked up and down the New York City streets. It’d been a long time since she’d been to the city, and she enjoyed the contagious energy of its people. The exhilarating vitality rippled through the air, energizing the residents and tourists alike. When thoughts of Rudolf tried to infiltrate her thoughts, Claire would remember that he was still incarcerated and she was safe. Once in a while she’d wonder about the
Rawls-Nichols
mailings. They hadn’t received any in over a month. Tony told her he didn’t know why they’d stopped, but he was glad they had. Claire wasn’t sure if they’d really stopped or merely taken a break. Either way, the comforting sense of safety added to her euphoria.

Claire had forgotten the invigorating rush of Times Square and the serenity of Central Park. As hours passed, she found herself lost in her own therapeutic and rejuvenating world. Now that she was a mother and their lives involved numerous people and responsibilities, being alone in a crowd seemed like a distant memory. For the life of her, Claire couldn’t remember the last time she’d willingly spent the day by herself. Yet with the sun shining down and a gentle breeze, while walking the streets amidst the throngs of people or sitting on the edge of a fountain in Central Park and listening to the street performers, Claire felt revitalized.

Dr. Brown often asked her to evaluate her feelings, to delve deeper into them. Sitting on that concrete ledge with music in the air, Claire came to an important conclusion. She no longer feared being alone. That didn’t mean that she wanted to be like that all of the time, but she didn’t fear it. There was a time she had. Her life at Everwood and early years with Tony had been a solitary hell. Though it hadn’t been a conscious decision, since leaving Everwood and reuniting with Tony and Nichol, Claire had purposely kept herself occupied with everyone else. Whether it was her immediate family, extended family, friends, or employees, she stayed connected. It was no secret that being alone used to bother her. Hell, it was the weapon that Catherine secretly wielded when she encouraged Claire’s disappearance. The money Catherine offered was all a ploy to isolate Claire yet again. However, years later, surrounded by strangers, she realized she enjoyed being alone. Perhaps she always had. There was nothing to fear in alone time, as long as she also had her loved ones.

Claire recalled the memories of days spent at her lake. Recently she’d gone there with Tony and Nichol. While they’d had a wonderful afternoon, it wasn’t as relaxing and rejuvenating as it used to be. Her lake, the woods, those private times had helped her survive. She realized that it was as necessary in her everyday life as the connections she’d forged. The secret was balance.

During that afternoon, she also realized that if a trip around Manhattan could enlighten her, she didn’t need to spend as much time with Dr. Brown. If life were a balancing act and alone time was part of it, then something needed to give. There were only so many hours in a day, week, or year, and Claire had no intentions of decreasing her time with Tony or Nichol. She also didn’t want to lose time with Emily, Courtney, Meredith, or Sue.

Claire was ready to take on life again. With the effects of the medications gone, she was ready to experience every day to its fullest. That didn’t mean she’d stop all of her counseling. The family court had mandated a minimum of a year as one of the stipulations of Tony and Claire’s regained custody. Everwood had also asked for a year. It wasn’t mandated, but just like the medication, a gradual decrease seemed reasonable.

As Claire walked the paths of the park on her way toward the streets, she recalled the night Tony proposed. A smile materialized as she thought about his words. Though she couldn’t remember them verbatim, she did remember her shock at his declaration. As much as her life changed the day he took her, it also changed the evening he asked her to be his wife. That night opened the floodgate for feelings and emotions she’d been fighting. Though they’d had many ups and downs since that night nearly six and a half years ago, Claire knew the love she felt that night was only a seedling to what she felt today.

Lost in her thoughts, it was after 6:30 by the time Claire made it back to their apartment. With the spring sun, longer days, and constant buzz of people, time had been difficult to decipher. When she reached the foyer of their apartment, Claire had a fleeting vision of the man from her past. A bygone aura reverberated through the entry as dark eyes peered down from the top of the stairs and the deep voice demanded answers. “Where have you been?”

Though the scene may have resembled another time, it varied significantly in Claire’s response. She didn’t fear his question or the consequences of her carelessness. Honestly, she hadn’t thought about his reaction at all until she saw him. Rarely was she late; however, when she was, she usually did her best to keep everyone informed. The day and afternoon hadn’t been about
everyone
. It’d been about
her:
rediscovering herself, by herself.

“I’ve been all around the city,” she replied with a smile as she began to ascend the steps.

He met her near the middle. “I’ve called your phone a hundred times.”

Claire kissed his cheek. “I guess I didn’t hear it. I didn’t realize the time until I was in the taxi on the way home.”

“And you couldn’t call?”

“Tony, I was on my way.” Ignoring his darkened gaze, she asked, “Do we have plans?”

Seizing her elbow with his jaws clenched, Tony briskly led her to their suite. Before she could think or register his actions, the door closed and his lips were on hers. This wasn’t the sweet and gentle husband who once again instigated a stir deep inside of her.

No, this was a man on a mission. Roughly, his fingers grasped her hair, pulling her head back and exposing her already claimed mouth. His unspoken hunger unleashed in a frenzy as his tongue demanded entrance and her lips willingly parted. The scent of cologne and the taste of whiskey combined to create an intoxicating cocktail as her lips bruised and her insides melted.

As his body thrust against hers, Claire’s petite hands found his chest and pushed. She had to know he’d stop if that were what she wanted. She didn’t want it, but nevertheless, she needed that grasp at control when he seemed suddenly without any. The temperature of their suite rose and the air stilled as he pulled away and dark eyes bore deep into the emerald green.

“Tony? What’s wrong?”

“I couldn’t reach you.” He gripped her chin. “Do you have any idea what I’d do if I lost you?”

“You’re not losing me. Every time I’m out late doesn’t mean anything has happened.”

He towered above her as each statement came forth louder than the one before. “Taylor or Roach weren’t with you. You didn’t have Eric. You were all by yourself. Jan didn’t know when you’d be back. I’ve been here since 4:00. I even called the spa. They said you’d left hours ago. I was fuck’n losing it.”

Claire reached for her husband’s cheek. “I’m here. You’re here. So…” She gazed at him from behind veiled lashes, “…now that you’ve got me, what do you want to do with me?”

The blackness of his penetrating gaze swirled with suede, a soft light infiltrating the darkness as the heat of his angst morphed into the fire of unrestrained desire.

With another tug of her hair, her head once again went back and Claire closed her eyes as warm whiskey-scented breath bathed her cheeks and neck. Though her swollen lips ached for his, his were busy tormenting her soft skin with kisses that began behind her ear and descended to her neck and below. As he teased and taunted the sensitive skin of her collarbone, her fingers wove through his think mane. Moans and pleas filled the room as with each touch Claire was reminded of the man who claimed her body and soul—the man who at one time starred in her nightmares and now starred in her life. He wasn’t her star, but her sun. Just like the real celestial object that controlled the solar system, Tony was the gravitational pull whom she willingly allowed to dictate her orbit and warm her heart.

If they’d had plans for that night, they didn’t attend to them. There was no dinner out on the town, no Broadway show nor walk through Time Square, but neither one seemed to mind. Instead, their night was filled with one another. Each one gave and took. Together they reunited as a couple and soul mates. They made love and talked about their uncertainties and discoveries. Claire shared her revelation about being alone, and Tony recognized his distress of being without her. Even after so many years, they shared and laughed, talked and cried, and when they were done, they made love some more, until sleep overtook them.

It wasn’t until the next morning that either one of them remembered the doctor’s recommendation for alternative protection. They reasoned that it was only one night, and the doctors had warned that with Tony’s age it might not happen the natural way. So what were the chances?

The water lapped over Claire’s body as she floated below the Iowa stars, lost in the memories of that night. It wasn’t only their journey that they continued that night; they’d also created the tiny being inside of her. With Claire’s eyes closed to the twinkling stars, she imagined her husband’s touch and the aroma of chlorine gave way to the intoxicating scent of cologne.

Her body electrified, as it only did in his presence. It was a connection they’d had for as long as she could remember. Words or touch weren’t necessary. When they were near one another, the molecules in the air stirred and energy transferred. The scientific result of thermodynamics was heat. Their result was no different. Despite the tepid water, Claire’s skin suddenly warmed. She opened her eyes to the sight of her husband: his jacket slung over his shoulder and linen shirt glowing with the colors of the pool’s lights. It wasn’t his Armani slacks or his shiny black loafers that caught her attention. It was the grin that tightened her stomach as his chocolate eyes sparkled.

“Good evening, Claire.” His baritone voice resonated through the country night.

TIME STOOD STILL
as Tony watched his wife, first from the shadows and then from the deck of the pool. Although he had plenty to say, he hadn’t spoken a word; instead, he stood and observed as Claire floated near the surface of the colorful water. It was the whole picture that had him mesmerized: the warm, starry night, the way her hair floated around her beautiful face, her peaceful expression, and even the smile that graced her lips—on and off—as if she were remembering something that made her happy. She looked too beautiful to disturb. As the minutes passed and the water ebbed and flowed over her midsection, Tony began to think about their new baby.

He remembered the night, a few weeks ago, when he came home from work and discovered Claire in their suite: