Beyond Repair (7 page)

“No way.” He took a sip of his water. “Does Mia like it?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, of course. But Zoey and Kyle love it so I usually send her with them.”

We finished eating, and I looked down at the remnants of our lunch on the table. I guessed it was time to go, though I wanted to stay with him longer. I looked up to suggest we leave, but we made eye contact and I was too busy enjoying him to think.

“Excuse me, Chris?”

We both looked up. Two older men were standing next to the table.

Chris looked thoughtful for a couple of seconds before recognition showed on his face. “Jeremy, hi. Nice to see you again.”

“Sorry to interrupt. This is my brother, Kevin. He’s interested in having an addition built like the one you did on my house.” He smiled down at me. “Is this your wife?”

Awkward.

Chris turned red. “Um, she’s not … We’re not …”

I jumped in. “We’re neighbors.” I smiled at them. “Nice to meet you.”

“My apologies.” The conversation quickly turned to construction, and Chris’s eyes flashed toward me. “I can give you a call tonight, Kevin, if you want to give me your number—”

As I looked in my purse for my hand sanitizer, I noticed my phone had a voicemail on it from work. “Keep talking. I actually have to call my boss, so I’ll be right outside.” I excused myself and went out to listen to it. The rain had stopped, and I plopped myself down on a bench that was dry, thanks to a big metal umbrella attached to it.

I called my boss, who wanted to get my opinion on some ad campaign changes. After talking to her for a few minutes, I disconnected and reached for my bag to put my phone away. The sound of footsteps on the wet pavement made me look up.

My hand gripped my phone as I watched
Pierce walk toward the restaurant, talking to another guy.

Invisible hands closed around my throat, strangling me. Everything was silent, except for my choked breaths. My mind screamed to run away, but it wasn’t an option. I had no car. It would be better to try to blend in, be invisible like I always strived to, than to draw attention to myself by getting up and running.

I hunched over, letting my hair fall in my face, and I gripped my phone, pretending I was texting.
Don’t see me. Don’t take Mia away.

Footsteps came closer and closer, and then slowed. My heart pounded in my chest. The door slammed.

He was inside.

My phone fell to the ground as I leaned forward with my hands on my knees, my breath coming out in shallow, gasping noises.

Someone touched my back and my heart froze as my hand shot up, creating a defensive barrier between us.

“Brooke.” Chris sat next to me, his voice gentle and full of concern. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head as the shallow gasps continued to come out of my mouth.

“Try to take a deep breath, okay?”

I nodded but choked out a few words. “Need … to … go …”

His hand rubbed my back in feather light motions. “Sure, we can go. Can we wait until you’re breathing okay or do we have to go now?”

I choked in another breath. “Now.”

He reached down to pick up my phone and wrapped his arm around my waist to pull me up. He kept it there as we walked to his truck. Chris opened the passenger door, helped me in, and dropped my bag on the floor. After jumping into the driver’s seat, he reversed out of his spot but braked suddenly as he turned to look at me. “Is it Mia? Do we have to go home or to her school?”

I shook my head. “Just … away … from … here.”

He nodded as he put the truck into drive. I leaned forward, holding my head in my hands as my breaths struggled to whoosh in and out.

After a few minutes, we stopped moving and his hand was on my back again, moving up and down gently. “Tell me what to do.” His voice sounded so uncertain and sad, and I felt horrible that I was making him go through this with me. My heart slammed against my chest as I tried to calm myself down.

Breathing slowly became easier, and my heart stopped pounding. I focused on his touch against my back, grounding me. “Good job, keep breathing,” he murmured over and over again.

Finally, I looked up. “I am so sorry.”

His hand moved up to my shoulder and squeezed it. “Don’t be. Are you okay?” His eyes were uneasy as he looked at me.

“Yes.”

“Do you want to get some air?” He looked out through the windshield, and I followed his gaze and started laughing when I saw where we were.

“Hey, it’s our favorite place— the beach.”

“Yeah, I …” Chris started laughing, too. “It was close by and all that I could think of. I’m not going in that damn sand, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t want the air here. Can we just go home?”

He nodded. “Of course.” He squeezed my shoulder again before he returned it to the steering wheel and started driving.

I felt the need to explain myself without giving him too much information. “Listen, about what happened … I sometimes get panic attacks—I guess is what they are. I never had them treated, so I’m not sure.”

He looked at me. “Is there something that sets them off?”

Yeah, evil douchebags.
“I saw someone who set it off, yes.”

Anger flashed across his face, but he kept his voice calm. “Do you need me to go take care of anything?”

I shook my head. “No, it probably wasn’t even him.”

He glanced at me, the fire still burning in his eyes. “How do you know?”

Those scorching eyes had me pinned to my seat. After seeing what happened and helping me, Chris deserved an answer to his question. I couldn’t tell him the whole story yet, though. Not until I figured everything out. “Because he lives in New York. And he doesn’t know where I am.”

His expression calmed as he nodded. “Does it happen a lot?”

I looked out the window. The rain had started again. Fat drops hit the windshield as I considered his question. “Sometimes,” I answered truthfully.

“Okay.” His gaze went back to the road. The wind was picking up, and it was starting to rain harder.

I stared at him in disbelief. He was just going to let it go? I was so shocked that the words flew out of my mouth before I could process what I was saying. “That’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it. I can tell you don’t want to talk about it.” His head turned, and his eyes seared mine. “And I’m not going to push you. That’s not me.” His voice was comforting, but he looked back toward the road before I could reply. Stupid driving safety.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

Chris pulled into my driveway and leaned back into his seat, put the truck in park, and stared out the windshield. “I probably shouldn’t install your door in this weather.”

“No problem, we can figure it out another day.”

He nodded and turned to me. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed the top of his head before he said, “There was something that I wanted to tell you before your … breathing thing … happened. I’m sorry if the way I reacted to what Jeremy said made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. People assume things—”

At the same time he said, “I wasn’t sure if you were seeing anyone.”

We both stopped talking and looked at each other. “I’m not,” I said.

“I’m not, either.”

I nodded, and we kept staring at each other. Those eyes were going to be the end of me. I could look into them for hours. They were so clear and light, but now they were getting darker …

This was awkward, but in kind of a good way. I wanted to say something, but my mind could only focus on the sound of the rain, the intensity in his eyes, and the scent of the cinnamon Altoid in his mouth. Chris finally broke the silence. “Good to know.”

“Yeah …” I was all kinds of confused. Was I reading into this too much? Kyle had made it very clear that Chris wasn’t interested in dating. “I should really get back to work. Thanks for lunch and for … helping me.”

I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt over my head as I ducked out of the truck and sprinted through the rain to my condo.

Chapter Six

W
HEN I PICKED UP MIA
from school that evening, her lunchbox was heavy. After opening it, I realized that she’d hardly eaten anything. “You weren’t hungry today?”

“No. My throat had a bump in it. It’s gone now, so I ate pudding at snack time.” She smiled at me and I laughed, knowing that pudding was her favorite.

“It magically disappeared when you saw the pudding? What a surprise. Okay, let’s go home.” I waved at the teacher as Mia hugged the remaining three children waiting to be picked up. She took my hand and skipped alongside me.

“When can I play with Ryder again?”

“Oh, I’m not sure. We’ll have to ask Chris about that.” We reached the car and I started buckling her into the car seat.

“Chris is fun. I like him.”

I pulled on one of her pigtails. “I like him, too.” I said,
as
my phone buzzed with a text. After I read the text, I said,
“Aunt Zoey wants us to go to her house for dinner. What do you say?”

Her face lit up. “Yeah!”

I was just going to throw a frozen casserole in the oven, so I had no problem with changing our plans. I let Zoey know we were on our way, and that we’d arrive at her house shortly.

My nephews ran out and hugged Mia and me. It was so good to see them. We’d gone from seeing each other almost every day to not visiting them for over a week. Mia jumped up and down and started chatting with her cousins.

The boys led us in, and Zoey picked up Mia as soon as she saw her. “You’re excited to see everyone, aren’t you? You’re breathing so fast.” She put her down with her cousins. “Take it easy until Mia calms down, guys.”

Mike dumped out a box of Legos, and the three of them started playing. My niece, Beth, sat on the floor, beating the crap out of a toy drum. Since everyone had something to occupy them for the moment, Zoey grabbed my hand and led me around the house, showing me how she’d set everything up.

My sister never ceased to amaze me. You would never know she had moved in less than two weeks ago because there was not a single box in sight. After I’d seen all of the progress she’d made, I parked myself on a barstool at her kitchen island while she stood at the stove, mashing potatoes.

“So … have you seen Mr. Sexy Next-Door Neighbor?” Zoey wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I rolled my eyes, though she was right on with her nickname. “
Chris
. Yes.” I grinned at her. “I spent some time with him today, actually.”

“What?” She pulled the potato masher out of the pot and potatoes flew in my direction, splattering on the island. Used to her dramatic ways, I didn’t say anything about it; I just grabbed a roll of paper towels and started wiping them up.

“Yeah. He doesn’t think our front doors are safe, so he came by to see if I wanted to go to some big-ass construction store with him. Then we stopped to get lunch.” I located the garbage can and threw the dirty paper towels away, then turned to Zoey. Her eyes bugged out of her head as she listened to me. “It went well, but then I saw Pierce. Well, I think I saw Pierce. It probably wasn’t him.” I looked down, shame running through me.

“Aw, Brooke. Did you have one of your ‘moments’?”

I nodded. “Chris wasn’t around when it started, but he caught me in the middle of it.”

“How did he take it?”

“He was so
nice
, Zoey. God. He didn’t ask any stupid questions, just if Mia was okay, and he got me out of there. When it was over, he didn’t push me to talk about it.” I looked up at her.

She studied my face. “You like him. And you know it.”

I guess I looked constipated again. “Yeah, I do,” I said, as Kyle walked into the kitchen, carrying a plate of food he’d grilled.

“I’m happy for you.” Her eyes had darted to Kyle before she looked back at me. “Are you going to make the next move to see him?”

I looked at Kyle, wondering if he had talked to Chris or had any insight. But he just leaned on his elbows, staring at me from across the counter.

“I haven’t thought about it yet,” I said honestly. “But he told me that he’s not seeing anyone.”

Kyle raised his eyebrows. “Did he bring that up or did you? I can’t believe I’m asking, but I have no idea. It’s so out of character for both of you.”

I bit my lip, not sure what to make of that. “He did.”

Kyle scratched his head. “I’m amazed he said that. You have no idea how shut off he’s been about women.”

“So, that means he’s interested!” Zoey flung the masher out of the potatoes, and they went flying again.

I sighed and grabbed the roll of paper towels.

* * *

The next night, Mia fell asleep almost immediately after I put her to bed. We’d had a busy night. She had karate and then we made invitations for her birthday party.

Walking into my living room, I flipped on the TV as I passed by it and sank onto the couch. I was tired, too. With thoughts of Chris and my stupid panic attack running through my mind, I had slept like shit the night before. Spacing out in front of the TV before bed was just what I needed.

I looked for the remote to change the channel, groaning when it wasn’t on the end table. How did I constantly lose that thing? I stuck my hand between the couch cushions, fishing for it, but my fingers touched something I wasn’t expecting.

Frowning, I pulled my hand out of the cushions, holding up a credit card. I traced my fingers over the embossed letters of Chris’s name. It must have fallen out of his pocket yesterday as he waited for me.

He was probably looking for it. I headed over to my desk, where my phone was charging, to send him a text. As I walked, headlights shone in through the corners of the closed blinds. He was just getting home. Perfect. I could give him his card back, apologize again for acting like an ass yesterday, and get my Chris fix.

Before I could change my mind, I slid into my flip-flops and walked outside, carefully closing the door behind me so that it didn’t disturb Mia.

I headed to his truck, blinking in the darkness as my eyes adjusted. But as everything came into focus, I came to an abrupt stop.

Chris sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel. His head hung down, and his body was hunched forward, shaking.