Beyond Midnight (66 page)

Silence.
"
No, please
....
Russ, if it
'
s you, please
... please talk to me.
"

Silence. And then a dial tone.

Biting her lip, Helen hung up slowly, needing the time to beat back the tears. Head bowed, she turned around into Nat
'
s waiting arms.

He encircled her and held her tight.
"
I have a call out now to the guy I told you about,
"
he said.
"
The father of the Lollapalooza kid.
"

"
The one who never came back from the concert?
"
she murmured into his shirt.

"
That
'
s the one. I
'
m telling you, who could be harder to track than that? But this guy
'
s a whiz at locating missing kids. He
'
s the best there is. We
'
ll find Russ, Helen,
"
he whispered in her ear.
"
I promise you.
"

The bacon, burning black, set off the fire alarm, which Nat charged out to disengage. Helen moved the cast iron pan to a cold burner and began salvaging the three charred strips. She was thinking,
How can I love Nat when I don
'
t have my son back?
As for the preschool, she couldn
'
t even think about it. And yet every day it became a more compelling crisis.

Nat returned shaking his head.
"
Geez, Becky is a heavy sleeper.
"

Helen looked up from her reverie and gave him a distracted smile. She was back in her agony, big time. It was even worse now, because she had the added guilt of having felt happy for a couple of hours.

Nat gave her a thoughtful look, then went over to an open plate rack and took down plates and mugs. He said,
"
I called Peaches after I showered, incidentally, and talked to Katie, too.
''

"
So early?
"

"
Katie
'
s a morning person—as you
'
ll see. Anyway, she
'
s fine. She
'
ll be going to school today.
"

"
Did Peaches ask you where you were?
"
Helen asked, swinging open the oven door with such surprising force that she nearly took it off its hinges.

"
Peaches wouldn
'
t do that,
"
he said quietly.

"
I suppose not.
"
She took out the warmed plate of pancakes, put out napkins and a bottle of syrup, and they sat down to their forlorn-looking meal. Helen didn
'
t bother to apologize; she knew Nat would understand.

In the meantime, her mind had veered suddenly and completely over to Peaches. She wanted fiercely to believe it had been Russ who
'
d called—just to hear his mother
'
s voice—but the call had felt like Peaches. It could
'
ve been just another infuriated parent, but—the call had felt like Peaches.

Helen couldn
'
t explain that sensation to Nat, any more than she could explain her bizarre theory of the ergot. She didn
'
t dare. As much as she distrusted—even despised— Peaches, she knew too well what unfounded charges could do to the heart and soul of a human being. She would not give voice to her suspicions; not yet.

Nat broke into her reverie with a gently worded query.
"
Are you thinking of going to The Open Door today?
"
he said.
"
Because I can stay here for you—
"

"
No, no. Becky will be in all day. Or Aunt Mary can stay here, in a pinch. Besides, don
'
t you have to be at work? Eventually?
"

He said,
"
I
'
ve told you, Helen; I
'
m winding down on that. This was my last trip.
"
Then he gave her a wry smile and said,
"
But of course I can
'
t expect you to believe something I said in the heat of passion. So I
'
ll say it again, over pancakes: I
'
m winding down.
"

She sighed, then said,
"
Whereas I have to put in an appearance. Janet can
'
t be expected to do my job for me. It
'
s so unfair to her
,
if anyone
'
s going to be stoned, it should be me.
"

Nat
'
s wry smile faded as he reached across the table for her hand.
"
Is it really so bad as that?
"
he asked her seriously.
"
You honestly think you may lose the school?
"

The words, coming from someone else, made it sound all too possible. Helen nodded, not trusting her voice. Then she said,
"
You don
'
t think like a woman, Nat. You don
'
t think like a mother. If my child were in a preschool in a situation like this, I
'
d have second thoughts. I know I would, no matter how well I trusted the staff. Even now— even after what
'
s happened to me,
"
she whispered,
"
I know I would.
"

Nat said,
"
Maybe you should try talking to Anna
'
s parents.
"

"
I did try talking to them—as soon as Becky told me about the cat. They referred me to their lawyer. God only knows what they
'
re planning.
"

"
Suppose I find out,
"
he said grimly.

"
No! Your job is to nail down the new investigator,
"
she said, picturing Nat on a white horse charging up Anna
'
s front porch.
"
I
'
ll go to school later and. . . I don
'
t know. See how bad it is. But, God, I don
'
t want to,
"
she
admitted
, dreading it.

She knew that Nat had been in favor of the direct approach all along. Now he said,
"
You
should
want to, damn
it! That school is as much a part of you as Russell; as much a part of you as I plan to be. You can
'
t turn your back on part of yourself!
"

Suddenly he stood up, went behind her ladderback chair, lifted it from the floor—with her still in it—and turn
ed it toward the door to the hal
l.
"
Put on a dress and get out of here. You
'
ve got call forwarding now; you
'
ve got a cell phone. You
'
re not going to miss his call. C
'
mon—up!
"

Helen let Nat haul her from the chair, then promised him she
'
d go back into the rubble of The Open Door and salvage what she could. He left after that, and Helen—well, she stalled. What if the call forwarding didn
'
t work? Or the new cellular phone? So she did the dishes. She looked over her list. She checked on Aunt Mary. She gave instructions to Becky. She fed the cat. She fed the cat again.

And all the while, when she wasn
'
t staring out the front windows, she kept staring at the phone, willing it to ring. It finally did, at nine o
'
clock; but it wasn
'
t Russell. It was the second of the three herbalists she
'
d originally contacted. He spoke perfect English.

And he was able to get Helen up, dressed, and out the door in no time flat.