Beyond Innocence (26 page)

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Authors: Carsen Taite

Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Romance, #Lesbian, #Contemporary

BOOK: Beyond Innocence
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She held her breath, hoping she hadn’t tanked her chance with this guy. He stared her down, but she couldn’t get a read on whether she’d passed his appraisal until he spoke. “I’ll talk. But you gotta at least tell Johnson what a stand-up guy I am. Maybe he’ll treat me better if it comes from you.”

Small price to pay. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Okay. This Bolton guy’s a scary dude. Doesn’t really care what he says out loud. Guy like that, been in the joint before, should know better about watching his mouth.”

“Some people don’t ever learn. What’s he saying?”

“He dances around it, but he talks about his case then says he got away with more than they’ll ever know about.”

“What makes you think he’s talking about anything we’d be interested in?” Cory didn’t hold out much hope for anything solid. As a prosecutor, she’d dealt with jailhouse snitches on a regular basis, especially among the defendants in the county jail where they weren’t likely to be around long enough to reap much in the way of nasty consequences from ratting out their cellmate. At least half the time, the snitch didn’t have anything useful to report.

“Female bartender, black guy went down for it? That all sound familiar?”

“Sure. Also sounds like details anyone could read in the paper, some of which we mentioned when we showed up here today. Maybe Bolton likes to read.” She spoke her next words carefully, deliberately. “Maybe you do too.” If this guy was jacking them around, Cory wanted him to know she wasn’t in the mood.

He took the hint. “Okay, I got you. You need proof he knew something no one else would know. Am I right?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “How about this? He says she had a stack of
Playboy
magazines in the trunk of her car. Said he took one when he was done, to remember her by.”

Cory forced her features to remain casual, but inside she was shouting. Finally, they had what they needed. The court record she’d reviewed meticulously over the past month contained a sealed motion, and the sealed transcript of a hearing in the judge’s chambers on the subject of those magazines. The defense had argued they should be able to bring up evidence that Nancy was no stranger to sex and, since one of the issues had a particularly racy story about rape fantasy, the magazines were relevant to whether she’d consented to the play that had turned deadly. Cory remembered thinking the theory was crazy—to assert the defense, they’d have to admit Eric had been at the scene of the crime, but hadn’t meant to force sex or kill his sex partner. The point had quickly become moot. Because rape shield laws protect the personal lives of rape victims, the judge had ruled neither side could bring up the magazines, and he’d ordered the record on the issue sealed. Cory had scoured the clinic’s file, and she was confident the issue had never hit the press. Yet, Bolton knew. Bolton, a known rapist who was currently awaiting trial on another violent crime. She had what she needed to file the writ. She let Skye ask all the follow-up questions while she mentally ticked off the points she’d make in her brief. Or at least she tried. Her ability to concentrate was divided between the work she had to do and the person she wanted to tell about it.

 

*

 

The guard held up five fingers to signify time was running out, and Serena groaned. This visit had been way too short. Would she ever see Eric again? As much as she hoped Cory would be able to pull off a miracle, she didn’t place much trust in a system that was better at doing than undoing.

Seeing him now was painful. He was gaunt, hollow, restless, likely counting down the days, maybe even hours until his death. She’d produced enough quarters to buy out one of the vending machines, and then done her best to project a cheerful demeanor, but she feared he could see through her despair. This visit hadn’t been about the legal and factual issues in his case. She’d made the long drive to demonstrate solidarity, support, love. Those things didn’t translate into much in the way of conversation, and soon the conversation drifted back to the case.

“Ms. Lance, she’s a good attorney.”

Serena, surprised by Eric’s words, couldn’t tell if he’d asked a question or made a statement. She’d deliberately avoided the topic of Cory because she couldn’t stop thinking about her and she worried her attraction would shine through any discussion on the subject. Their closeness from the night before, combined with the torrid sex of her dream, had whipped her into a frenzy that she’d driven hours to keep at bay. She didn’t need to stir up that trouble again. Still, Eric deserved some response. “She’s working very hard on your case.”

“I know. She keeps me up to speed. I hope this writ gets me a hearing at least.”

“When did you talk to her?”

“This morning. She gave me a call. Said she was on the way to talk to one of the witnesses in the case and then she was going to finish the writ and get it filed later today or tomorrow.”

“Does she call you often?”

“If you listen to what the guards say, she calls me more than any other attorney with a client on the row.”

Serena smothered a huge grin and filed away the intel. She’d give Cory a big hug when she saw her.

No, she wouldn’t. They’d been too close to crossing boundaries last night. Still, she couldn’t help but be happy to hear Cory had taken such a personal interest in Eric’s case, and she wondered if personal rather than professional interest played a part.

The guard signaled it was time to go. The visit had been both too long and too short. Serena leaned as close as she could get to the divider, and whispered into the handset, “I love you.”

She fought back tears as Eric echoed her sentiment. He added, “Don’t cry, sis. I’ll be okay. No matter what happens, I’ll be okay.” He cleared his throat. “I need you to promise me some things.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t come watch. If I’m going to die, I want this to be the way you see me last, not strapped—” She put a hand up to stop him before the gruesome image could stick in her mind. He shook his head. “I’m not done.”

Serena braced herself.

“Don’t let them bury me in a pauper’s grave.”

Serena couldn’t stop the tears this time. Both she and Eric wept. Neither of them had any idea where their mother was buried. She’d died alone and penniless, a victim of her addiction, at a time when neither of her children had the means or were even old enough to deal with the details. She’d been cremated and her ashes buried in a county plot. Eric’s fear of meeting the same anonymous fate as her mother was palpable, and Serena rushed to reassure him. “I swear. I’ll take care of the details. I promise.”

“Thank you. One last thing.”

She took a deep breath, bracing herself for his last wish.

“Don’t let the past hold you back. I let everything that happened to us growing up shadow my life. I didn’t even try to break free. I just lived my life like the criminal everyone expected a junkie’s son to be.”

As Serena drove away from the prison, she realized she felt a deeper connection to her brother days before his death than she’d felt their entire lives. She turned his last request over and over in her mind. Ostensibly, she’d already outshone her roots. She’d graduated college. Hell, she’d graduated high school. She had a steady job, a modest savings account. She didn’t have to rely on the random charity of others for food and clothes. Yet she was empty. None of the trappings she’d accumulated filled her mind, fueled her heart, fed her soul.

She was more like her mother and brother than she cared to admit. They’d had choices to make, and although they’d chosen differently than she, they’d all wound up without the things that really mattered. What a waste. She was done wasting time and emotion. She sped her way back to Dallas. To Cory.

Chapter Eighteen
 

Cory’s car was the only one in the clinic lot when Serena pulled in at seven o’clock. Serena had driven straight there after she’d retrieved the message Cory had left on her voice mail letting her know she’d be working late on Eric’s case. Her only stop had been to pick up dinner.

The front door was unlocked. Serena pushed through the door and tiptoed to the back where Cory had taken over Greg’s office. She stood in the hall, peering in at Cory who was so intent at her keyboard, she didn’t notice she had a visitor. It didn’t matter how rumpled and fatigued Cory was; she was still beautiful. Serena wished she could freeze time, put Eric’s case on hold, and take advantage of the intimacy Cory had offered her. But she couldn’t. Eric’s clock was ticking and any day now, Cory might return to her former job. What would she do? Go back to her solitary life in Florida, content to the be the celibate daughter of an aging couple in a job she only mildly enjoyed?

As stressful as the last few weeks had been, she felt truly alive for the first time. Even with the looming execution date, she’d felt renewed hope in her relationship with her brother, but mostly in her ability to have a relationship of her own. Would she have the courage to face her fears once she was back in Florida? The question rocked her, and she realized it wasn’t the fear of being in a relationship that scared her. She feared leaving the world she had created here. She may only be pushing paper, but unlike the same activity at the bank, here she had a chance to affect lives. And she wanted to take that chance. 

She stared across the room and realized that was the crux of it. She wanted Cory. More than want, she craved her. Despite all the reasons why she shouldn’t. The list of negatives was long: Cory was her brother’s lawyer, Cory would return to her job putting people behind bars, Cory was still entangled with that other woman. Why then, did none of these reasons outweigh the pull of attraction?

“Hey, you, what are you doing here?”

Serena returned Cory’s greeting by hefting the bag of dinner. “I got your messages. Thought I’d bring you dinner.” Short and choppy sentences were all she could manage, but what she really wanted to say was “I missed you today and came straight here. I wish you didn’t have to work because then we could…” She couldn’t finish the sentence even though she knew what she wanted. Asking for intimacy, speaking her desires out loud, would shatter the shield she’d built around her heart. She should give Cory the food and leave.

“Hope you brought enough for two. I could use your help. I want to get this brief filed first thing in the morning.”

A harmless invitation. A working dinner. But Serena knew if she decided to stay she would cross a line, and her life would never be the same again. She set the bag down on Cory’s desk. “I came prepared.”

 

*

 

Hours later, Cory hit the print button on her computer. “Pretty sure this is the final draft, but I want to read it one more time. In the morning, with fresh eyes.”

Serena yawned and pointed at the clock on the wall. “Um, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but it is morning.”

Cory laughed. It was two a.m. “I lose track of time when I’m deep into a project. In fact, I usually forget to eat too. Thanks again for bringing dinner.”

“Couldn’t let you starve. Besides, I wanted to see you.”

A sense of urgency lay within the tentative declaration. Cory turned away from her monitor and faced Serena. “I’m sorry. I put you right to work and didn’t even bother asking if you needed something. Is everything okay? Did visiting Eric upset you?”

“Yes. I mean, no.” Serena cleared her throat. “Visiting him didn’t upset me, but it did put some things in perspective.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think I want to talk at all. I think talking…actually, I think thinking is what keeps me from doing the things I want.”

The air between them was heavy with anticipation. Cory sensed they teetered on the edge of change. Would Serena pull back? Or would she? “Tell me what you want.”

Serena crossed the few steps between them. Cory stopped breathing when Serena placed her hands on either side of Cory’s face. She was the one with the power to pull back now. All the reasons she should clamored loudly in her head. Serena’s lack of experience. Serena’s relationship to her client. Serena, Serena, Serena. The reasons fell away until all she cared about was the beautiful, compassionate woman standing in front of her, offering herself, completely. She couldn’t pull back, but Serena had to be the one to jump first. “Show me what you want.”

“I will.” Serena’s whisper turned up the heat. “But not here.”

“My place?” Cory hoped the comfort of her home would outweigh the memory of Julie’s late night drop in.

Serena took her hand. “I’ll drive.”

Cory gladly let her take the lead. She’d worry about her car later. All she cared about now was taking this path, seeing where it led. While Serena drove way too carefully through the streets, Cory sat on her hands and focused on everything but Serena to get her through the ride. When they finally arrived at her house, she felt like she was going to explode. When they crossed the threshold, she forced herself into hostess mode, determined not to force anything else on Serena before she was ready.

“Can I get you a Coke, maybe some water?”

“Why don’t you make me breakfast?”

“What?” Really? She wanted food? Of course, it had been hours since dinner. Serena had cooked for her before; she should return the favor. “I think I have a few things in the fridge. I can probably come up with something. If you don’t mind if it’s inedible. Did I mention I’m not much of a cook?” She wasn’t done babbling, but Serena’s finger over her lips stopped the ramble.

“Hush. I was kidding.” Serena removed her finger and replaced it with her lips. Soft and hard, strong and gentle. Cory melted into the embrace, savored the light caress followed with sure strokes.

When she could no longer breathe, she ducked her head and said, “You’re an amazing kisser.”

“So are you.”

“What other amazing talents do you have?”

“Not much else, I’m afraid.” Serena stepped back. Cory could feel her hesitation, and she gave her the space to voice it. “Truly. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Such unbridled trust deserved acknowledgment, solidarity. Cory closed the distance between them. Serena had jumped off the cliff; it was time for her to follow her off the edge. “Do you want to?”

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