Dear Ruth,
Christian greetings. Sending the love of your family as best I can in written word.
I wonder yet if another storm is raging in Montana. It seems every letter of late that I've received from you has started with these words, "It snowed again today in the West Kootenai." For as much as it snows you'd think the drifts would reach the rooftops by now.
Our whole family is eager to see Marianna on her return. That's good of her to come to assist Levi. We saw him in town wearing Amish dress once. I welcomed him back. Levi gave us an update of Aaron Zook's condition. How sad we all were to hear that Aaron was in a vehicle accident on his way to visit your family. Everyone here was thankful you did your good Christian duty and cared for him while he was on the mend.
You'll never guess who I saw in town today. Who's moved back to care for his parents and now set himself up as a driver for the Amish. It always seems strange when someone from our past returns and butts into our future. Seeing our neighbor made me think of our long conversations. I jest wanted you to know so that when you return you won't be surprised.
If you return for Levi's wedding will you go back to Montana or just stay at that time? Some are saying there is a reason Levi and Naomi are getting married. I'm not one to spread rumors so I do not agree with or deny their claims. I am glad for Levi's decision to return to the Amish. I know the world's offerings are a mighty draw for the young people today. I'm praying for my own children as they near the age they must decide. I am thankful that our family has chosen to follow the way of our ancestors—the way of peace. I know you are thankful, too, although the decision is not easy.
When Levi and Naomi come by for a visit after their wedding I will share a quote with them that you told me long ago. I've heard this proverb many times since, but I remember it meaning the most coming from your lips:
"Love, peace, and happiness in the home are infinitely more than honor, fame, and wealth."
I hope Levi realizes that all he is embracing will mean so much more than all he's left behind.
Well, I must go. The baby awoke and is crying. Know we are all sending our love and look forward to seeing you soon.
Love,
Betsy
Ruth's fingers trembled as she placed the letter on the bed. Without question she and Abe had decided to return for Levi's wedding. Even though only a few in the family knew about the baby coming, they would all celebrate Levi's marriage when it was publicly announced.
But could she still go? How would she handle seeing Mark again? She'd done well over the years, holding memories of him at bay—until he haunted her dreams with his smile and easy laugh.
Mark
.
Even his name made her feel young. Made her forget she was a woman old enough to have a son married, old enough to soon be a grandmother.
A soft cry told her Joy had awakened. Ruth went to care for her little girl, then returned downstairs and whipped up mashed potatoes to go with the roast in the oven. She avoided Abe's eyes as she set the table. The words of the letter refused to leave.
You'll never guess who I saw in town today.
Her shoulders slumped as she thought about serving the children, cleaning up, getting them ready for bed. Her head throbbed.
She put the food on the table. The boys gathered around, waiting for their supper. Joy sat in her highchair content. Ellie wasn't so patient. The young girl leaned closer to get a look of the potatoes and knocked over her glass of milk.
"Uh-oh." Ellie looked down at the milk.
"Sit down, now. Hands in your lap!" Ruth pressed her fingertips to her temples. "How many times have we told you to sit still, be good, obey?" She stomped her foot.
Abe stood and hurried to the kitchen for a towel. "Don't worry. I'll clean it up."
Ruth sat in her chair and scooted up. "You'll do something now, will you? All these kids, all these years, and now you help?" Angry words tornadoed. Trembling hands covered her face.
Why him? Why now?
T
he van driver's words wrapped around Marianna's mind even as Aunt Ida pulled her into an embrace.
"Your mother and I were friends for many years. She's a special woman."
What did that mean? Marianna wished Levi had asked more questions, but before he had a chance, the driver had turned and hurried back to the driver's seat to take Aaron back to his parents' home.
Marianna forced a smile and melted into the older woman's arms. Most Amish weren't as affectionate, but Aunt Ida—her father's oldest sister—always had a soft place in her heart for her nieces and nephews.
"Look at you. More beautiful than I remember, and I see something special in your eyes. A lightness that wasna there before." Aunt Ida released her grasp without waiting for an answer and then patted her kapp, ensuring it was perfectly in place. "I have hot water on the stove. Let me pour you a cup of tea. Warm you up." She walked through the living area to the kitchen and busied herself with an old mug and tea bag.
Outside the window, a large cloud slipped across the dipping afternoon sun, sending a shadow of gray across her aunt's spotless living room. Marianna's eyes glanced from the worn sofa to the bookshelf to the quilt rack that held Aunt Ida's latest project. Aunt Ida said not a word to Levi. Marianna turned to him, and he shrugged. Walking to the mantel, he picked up the matchbox. After lighting the kerosene lantern, Levi slunk into the nearest chair with a forlorn look, reminding Marianna of their younger brother Josiah after he'd been reprimanded.
She raised her eyebrows. In all her days she'd never seen her aunt act in such a cool manner. Levi was returning to the Amish. Why did Aunt Ida treat him so?
The older woman's long dress swished against her legs as she busied herself around the kitchen. "I hope the trip wasn't too hard on you, Marianna. Was surprised that you were comin'. Told yer friend Rebecca I'd believe it when I saw it."
Marianna slipped off her coat and hung it on the coat rack by the door. "
Ja
, well, after I received Levi's letter I didn't want to stay away. There's nothing more exciting than a wedding."
"And how is Aaron's leg now? Did the train bring much trouble?"
She paused at her aunt's words, and the message became clear. Not only was Aunt Ida ignoring Levi's presence, she wasn't even going to let Marianna say her piece about his marriage to Naomi.
Marianna glanced to her brother. He occupied himself straightening the matches in the matchbox. An ache filled her chest. What other snubs had he gotten from the community?
She was sure Naomi and Levi had kept news of her pregnancy to those closest to them. A pregnancy outside of marriage wasn't something to rejoice over, yet it wasn't uncommon either. Most couples got married before too many months passed and one didn't know the truth until later, after they counted back. So if Aunt Ida didn't know about the baby, why was she acting this way? At least Levi had done the right thing—had returned to being Amish. An ache moved from her chest to her gut. Her brother
had
done the right thing, hadn't he? Returning was the only way . . . wasn't it?
She wished she had someone to talk to about it. Someone who could see things different than the Amish did with their narrow thinking. Someone like . . . Ben.
Aunt Ida neared with the tea, offering it. "I hear there is a singing this Sunday at the Yoders' place. When it's too cold out the youth have been gathering in that new barn. Might you go Sunday?"
Marianna took the cup into her hands, relishing its warmth. Instead of answering her aunt's question she turned to Levi. "Would you like some tea too? To warm yerself?"
"Nah." He rose. "I need to head back to Naomi's place. Gonna help with the chores." His eyes fixed on hers, and though she could tell her brother was pleased she was here, it was as though he was mere a shadow of the young man he'd been before. She thought of their last face-to-face conversation before she'd left for Montana. He'd been telling her the reasons he'd left the Amish. The reasons hadn't made sense to her, but at least he'd been passionate. At least there seemed to be light—a fire—in his eyes.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Marianna walked him to the door. "Perhaps I can meet you for chores—"
Levi waved a hand. "No need to get out in the cold. I'll come over in the mornin'. We'll get a chance to talk—I'll catch you up."
"
Ja, gut
." She bit her lip and looked to her aunt. They'd have to find someplace to go lest Aunt Ida insert herself into their conversation. At this moment, her mind and body were too weary to worry about it. As if sensing they wanted a minute alone for a good-bye, Aunt Ida hurried to the kitchen, mumbling to no one in particular about pouring her own cup of tea.
Levi leaned close, lowering his voice. "Don't be so hard on her, Mari. She'll come around. She's an old woman, set in her ways. She's had no husband or children to smooth her rough edges. She'll come around."
Was the repetition to convince her . . . or himself?
Marianna nodded, then reached up and fastened the top button on Levi's jacket, just as she'd do with her younger siblings. For some reason he didn't mind.
Levi placed his hand on the doorknob. His eyes fixed on her and narrowed. "You going to be all right? The last few months haven't been easy for you—with the move, working, caring for so many folks, and now the long trip back."
She shrugged. "I've come from a line of hardy women. I'll be back to baking bread and tilling the field by sunset tomorrow."
They both laughed, glancing to the frozen ground. She offered another hug, hanging on a moment extra. Funny how she appreciated her brother more after their time apart.
Levi left, and no sooner had Marianna slipped off her shoes and set her stocking feet to warm by the fire then Aunt Ida filled her in on the comings and goings she'd missed. Marianna covered a yawn as her aunt went on about the new school teacher and the robbery of an Amish home close to Shipshewana.