Beyond Famous (Famous #3) (49 page)

“Yeah, it’s me. Are you alright?” He sounded as exhausted as I felt. His voice was lacking his usual exuberance for life.

My face crumpled and I shoved the heel of my hand against my mouth to stifle a sob. “No. I’m huh -horrible.” I gasped. “I’m barely… breathing.”

“Me, too.” Sadness saturated his voice.

I wanted to crawl through the phone and straight into his arms, but instead, I fell onto the bed, rolled onto my side and curled into a ball as tears dripped endlessly from my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but the damn tears wouldn’t stop. I didn’t want to make him feel worse, but I had absolutely no control. “I’m sooorrrryyy! So soorrryyy. Plea… please don’t say…. Don’t say we’re over.”

I could hear him crying softly on the other end of the line. I wanted to hold him, to be held by him and for this fucking ache to go away.

“I don’t know which end is up. I thought we were invincible. I can’t believe any of this is real.”

“It isn’t.”

“Isn’t it? Then why is it killing me?”

I couldn’t stand the hurt in his voice. “It’s all lies, Cade.”

“I never could have imagined how much it would hurt seeing the goddamned pictures of his mouth and hands all over you.”

I gasped out loud. “I tried to tell you; it’s not like it seems. Will you let me explain?” I needed to get him in front of me. I needed to get my arms around him and not let go until I could make him believe me. I didn’t care how I did it or if I had to beg forever.

He sniffed again. “I’ve been watching Twitter. I searched our names. Someone told me to listen with my heart… and you to make me believe.”

I wiped at a tear and silently prayed. “I can, but only if you’ll hear me. Will you?”

“I don’t have a choice, Brook. I can’t function like this.”

No matter how much I was hurting, I knew his was the ultimate suffering because he believed I betrayed him.

“Will you come to me?” I tried to keep my voice from breaking but it did anyway, tears were streaming from my eyes as I waited for his response. “I don’t want to have this conversation on the phone.”

“Yes. Tomorrow. Denise said you’re staying with Jennifer.”

My throat was tight and fresh tears started for completely different reasons. I sucked in my breath. “Yeah.”

“I thought you’d be at your parent’s.”

“I was for a couple of days, but the press was camping outside. I had to get away from my family. Nate hates me, and my mom keeps asking me how I am when she can easily see what a mess I am. All I do is cry.

“I know. I shut my phone off and drank a gallon of scotch.”

“Did it help?”

“Not at all.”

“Did you talk to your parents?” I tried to stop the trembling in my hands as I waited for his answer.

“Not much. A few texts and one call to my Mom when I wanted to kill myself.”

Tears squeezed out from my closed eyes as I started to cry hard, my shoulders shaking violently. It hurt so much.

“Jesus don’t say that, Cade…”

“I did. Nothing has ever hurt this much.”

“I know. I miss you.”

“Me, too. I lost more than my girlfriend. My best friend… the best person I ever knew… went down in flames.”

“I may be on fire, but I’m still with you. Always.”

“Uhhggggg.” He cleared his throat but I could still hear the tears in his voice. “I gotta go. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I didn’t want to hang up and lose this connection. What if he changed his mind? I closed my eyes and knew I couldn’t push. I had to trust him because that’s what he deserved. “Thanks for calling. I love you.”

“Bye, Brook.”

My throat began to ache. He didn’t say he loved me back.

I WAS NERVOUS,
which was stupid. This was Brook, and I was sure that if I could get beyond all of this bloody bullshit and forgive her, she’d still be with me. The problem was, I wasn’t sure I could live with it or if I could take the ridicule of Denise or my friends. The world was one thing, but those in my personal circle meant a lot to me. I’d spoken to Daniel, and he told me to walk away and never look back. I shook my head. He’d always been so fiercely protective of Brook before, and now he was looking out for me and me alone. He’d traveled all the way from London to come out into the middle of the desert to check on me and drag me back to civilization

My fingers ran through my hair. It was longer and I was thinner. I shaved because I didn’t want Brook to think I was totally broken or I’d lost it. I already felt weak. Even though it appeared I had all the power; I was basically a slave to my love for her.

“Are you ready?” Nate asked. He agreed to bring me. Jeanne and Denise were being tailed everywhere they went.

“Yeah. How’d you get out today without those slimy bastards following you?” I asked.

“I’m staying at my dad’s. Did Brook tell you the folks are breaking up?”

“No. I guess with everything going on, she forgot. Sorry, man. That’s got to be touch. The timing sucks.”

Nate shrugged. “It is what it is. They both seem okay. I had this rental for the past couple of weeks so I could take Brook if she needed to go anywhere without being followed. Are you guys breaking up?”

My throat tightened at his question. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I hardly know… what I’m capable of. Not until I see her, and…” I let the words fall off with a slight shrug.

“I’m sorry, dude. Really very sorry you’re dealing with this shit.” His tone was disapproving and I gathered he wasn’t happy with Brook. I didn’t answer and glanced through the dark windows and pulled my sunglasses from the neck of my T-shirt before shoving them on. There weren’t any paparazzi visible, but then you rarely saw those bastards when they lurked about.

“Best get on with it,” I murmured before quickly opening the door to the black SUV. I hopped out quickly and hurried to the door. Jennifer opened it before I had a chance to ring the doorbell and held it open for me to enter.

“Hey, Cade.”

“Hi.” My eyes darted past her, into the living room, scanning for blue eyes and dark hair, but it was empty.

“How are you?”

“Been better. Where’s is she?”

“In the spare room. She asked that you just go in. I’m going out for a while. Tell Brook to text me when you’re finished. I want to give you complete privacy.”

I nodded and ran a hand over my mouth and down my jaw, my eyes anxiously fixed on the door to Brook’s room.

“I appreciate it, Jen. Thanks.”

She hesitated, her hand on the door. “She’s taking this hard.”

I nodded again and looked at the floor before returning my gaze to her face. “I know. I saw pictures of her the two times she’s been out,” I admitted. I couldn’t help but watch every move she made.

“It’s obvious you still love her as much as she loves you.”

“Obviously, I’m not able to shut it off like a faucet.”

“You guys can make it through this.” She hugged me. “You will, Cade.”

“We’ll see,” I answered. I waited until she left and then knocked lightly on the door with the knuckles of my right hand.

“Cade?” Brook’s voice was soft and close to the door. I closed my eyes and flattened my hand against the surface of the door. I could picture her with her forehead leaning against the wood, exactly opposite where my hand lay.

“Yes, Brook. It’s me.”

The door opened immediately and I stood face to face with her for the first time in weeks. Her eyes were bloodshot, hollow and dark. She looked gaunt. My heart hammered a million miles an hour as we stood there staring at her and hesitating like we were awkward strangers. I didn’t know what to do with all the pain hanging between us. I swallowed at the lump in my throat, but it wouldn’t move.

“Come in,” she murmured, standing aside.

I walked past her and the air moved. I could feel her mentally reaching out, but fighting the same internal battle that I was. I wanted it all to disappear like it never happened; to take her in my arms and tell her it would all be okay. But, I couldn’t. I didn’t know if it would be.

She automatically reached for me then drew her hand back, uncertainty washing over her face as her eyes filled with tears. “Um, thanks for coming.”

I sat on the foot of the bed. Jen’s house was small and Brook hovered a few feet away, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. I could see she was worried and didn’t know what to do. I inhaled as much air as my lungs would hold and let it out. “I’m listening.”

She was in sweat shorts and one of my T-shirts. When she started pacing in front of me, running a hand through her hair, I could see how scared she was.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Just… start.”

She nodded and faced me, wiping at the soft tears rolling down her cheeks. “Sheldon called me when I was leaving the gym and said he needed to speak to me about a new movie he was producing. He said the studio wasn’t sure they would let him direct it because he’d never done it before. He fed me some song and dance about how I could help convince them since we’d just come off a film together, and they were considering me for several films. He said he needed help.”

“That’s rubbish, but even if it were true, you didn’t have to meet him for that,” I stated simply. “Especially not at some obscure park in Beverly Hills.”

“I know. He said he’d gotten in a fight with his girlfriend and she kicked him out of the car. He needed a ride.” She shook her head and started to pace again. “I know it’s ridiculous, but I didn’t think much about it. I was out in my car already. I could give him a ride. No big deal.”

My jaw tightened. “You knew he wanted you, and you knew what I said about his reputation on every fucking movie he ever worked on. How could you put yourself in that position?” I demanded. The skin of my face felt hot as it flushed. I hated that bloody bastard more than I’d ever hated anyone and she knew it. I’d always thought he was after her. I could see it in the way he looked at her, but she’d always blown me off like I was insane for even thinking it. Now, she knew I was right.

“I was stupid, Cade. I don’t have another explanation. I had no reason to doubt him. He’d always been nice and respectful.”

“Because he knew I’d beat the hell out of him if he touched you, and for no other reason.”

She was still pacing in front of me. “Maybe.”

I should have
, I thought miserably. “Go on.”

“When I got there, he asked me to get out of the car to talk about the movie. It didn’t seem like a big deal. When he came up behind me and pushed me against a tree, then held me there with his body. I didn’t expect it. I got away within seconds. The one picture that looks like I’m holding him was really me pulling his arms away so I could move. It was so uncomfortable and, to be honest, I was stunned. When you look at those fucking pictures, you can see him looking over his shoulder at the photogs. I haven’t figured out why he’d want to set me up like that.”

“Because his career is in the toilet and the world will forget him in a week and a half, while you are a hot commodity right now, Brook!” I spat. “He’ll go down in infamy for breaking us up!”

Her head dropped and she started crying again. “Not if we don’t let him.”

I stared at her and sighed deeply. “What about the kiss?”

“He was sorry, he said. He asked me to drive him home. I didn’t want to hear it, especially, but it made sense. On the way, things got weird. I stopped and told him to get out of the car. He came at me then, Cade…” her voice broke, “if you’ve looked at those pictures you see how I was pulling away from him. He came at me and I tried to back away, but that car was small. I screamed at him at the top of my lungs and slapped him, but, of course, no pictures surfaced of that part of it. I got out of the car because he wouldn’t. He came around, and then I kneed him in the groin and left.” She fell to her knees in front of me sobbing. “I need you to believe me. Cade,
please
. Those pictures aren’t what they seem.”

I wanted to. Christ did I want to. “Is that all?”

She shook her head. “By then, I knew the paps were on us. They weren’t even trying to hide anymore. I couldn’t just sit there and let them click away! I took off, but that’s not what hit the newsstands.”

Air rushed from my lungs as I looked into Brook’s crying face, the tears welling magnifying the blue color of her eyes as they pleaded with me to believe her. Without makeup, she looked so young, like when we’d first met. My mind flashed to another time when she was on her knees crying in front of me; the morning after the first wrap party when she asked me to kiss her. My heart exploded inside my chest.

Still, I couldn’t reconcile that she hid it all from me. “Why didn’t you tell me the day it happened?” My voice was still hard and I could feel my jaw stiffening of its own accord. “You didn’t trust me enough. I thought we told each other everything!” I practically shouted.

A sob broke from her chest and her hand reached for mine. “I wanted to, but I was scared you’d believe the worst, after what you’d expected of him and I didn’t want to upset you. We had the MTV thing the next day. I just wanted it to go away. I know I should have told you, but that is the only thing I’m guilty of.”