Beyond Famous (Famous #3) (29 page)

This morning, my decision not to go to Comic-Con was relayed to Cade after Jeanne had called Denise.   It wasn't long before my phone, which had been dormant of his calls for at least ten days, began to ring. Part of me was pissed he called me after so long, but a bigger part was just glad that he finally did.

"Yeah?" I answered the phone, knowing it was Cade. It took a few seconds for him to speak.

"I know things have been weird between us, but it isn't the end of us.  We're still us.  You and me.  Just us... like always. Please come to San Diego."

Tears flooded my eyes, and my heart squeezed in my chest, knowing he was absolutely right. No matter how pissed or scared I was, I would always belong with him. I couldn't deny my heart.

"Okay," I’d said brokenly into the phone.

"Tell me you still love me," he'd said softly and my heart lurched.

"You know I do.  It's beyond my control."

"I love you, too, love.  I've missed you.  Not talking to you has been unbearable."

"I don't mean to let all this crap come between us, Cade
.
It's just so much to deal with."

He let out his breath in relief.  "I know.  I hate it just as bloody much, but it will never make me doubt the decision to be with you," he said achingly. "Even when I'm brooding and hurt, always know that I love you and want you.  I'm sorry for all of this rubbish."

I sighed deeply.  "I'm sorry, too.  I just hated to see you so tormented and I felt that if the speculation could stop, so would the bullshit.  It hurt me and I reacted by pushing you away.  I guess it made me feel overwhelmed.  I was wrong."

"S
o will you come to Comic-Con then?"

"I have to film late tonight, so maybe I should wait until tomorrow morning," I hesitated because I still didn't want to see Davina there.  It was stupid and childish, but I didn't want to deal with hearing things that the fans or the paps would undoubtedly be screaming at us. "But I know if I wait, there really is no point.  All the Remembrance stuff is tomorrow. When are you promoting
Only Us
?"

"Brook. Davina isn't coming down, okay?"

He read my mind
.

"What?  Why?"

"I don't know why and I don't care."

Jealousy still reared its ugly head somewhere deep down inside of me as my brain raced to figure out why she would suddenly decide not to be there. 

"Love, please stop.  I know what you're thinking, Brook.  It's no different than you asking me to believe that little weasel isn't stalking you around L.A.  I told you that yes, she showed some interest, but I squashed it months ago.  This is bloody hard, but I need to see you.  Just come to me tonight.  Please.  I'll wait up for you.  I'm aching to see you, love."

I closed my eyes, melting at his words.  I loved him; I missed him and I knew that even though we'd argued over the last few weeks, that there was no other place I wanted to be there with him.

"Where are you?" I asked and tried to push down the ache in my voice.

"The Hard Rock Hotel.  Will you come tonight then?" he asked anxiously, waiting impatiently for my answer.

"Yes."  I nodded, even though he couldn't see the gesture and pushed the hair off of my forehead. "I'll leave as soon as I can get off set, but I don't have many clothes with me.  Just some extra stuff I keep in my trailer.  If I go home first it will be even later when I get to town."

"I don't care about what you're wearing, you know that.  I'm just... well, thankful you agree to come down here.  We need this, Brook. No amount of time, space or misunderstandings could ever change how it is between us."

I sighed.  "I know.  I'm sorry," I said again. "This summer has been so hard. I see what you go through and know what I deal with, and sometimes I just wonder if it's all worth it." 

He was silent on the other end of the line for at least a minute and the worry began to well within my chest.

"Cade?"

 I could hear him breathing and finally he answered, his words completely unexpected and his voice harsh. "If that's how you bloody feel then don't come.  If I'm not worth it, then don't fucking come, Brook!"

The phone had gone dead then and I stood there staring at it in disbelief.  I had been trying to explain why I'd been distant, not saying that he wasn't worth it, so what the fuck just happened? Holy shit, I’d asked myself. What had just happened? I panicked, my heart dropping into my stomach as I dialed his number immediately, but it went straight to voicemail.  My shoulders slumped as I shut my phone off and walked back toward the set, fighting the tears and struggling to focus on the scene I had to do.

I hadn't been able to reach him all day after that, even though I tried several times. I barely made it through my filming and on my last break I called him again. He finally answered and relief washed over me.

"Cade, please don't hang up. It came out wrong.  That wasn’t what I meant and I really want to see you.  We are both so raw everything gets so screwed up.  Please forgive me." My heart was pounding in my chest in the sudden fear that he would still be angry and not want to see me and maybe hang up on me again.

He let his breath out and I knew he was probably running his hands through his hair or tugging on his eyebrow like he did when he was thinking.  "Okay.  I'm sorry too.  I shouldn't have hung up on you."  I couldn't speak as I brushed an errant tear from my cheek and dug my sneaker into the ground.  "Just get down here as fast as you can.  Everything will be okay once we're together again. This has been too bloody long.  It can't be this long again."

The trip was never ending, my anxiousness and exhaustion making it even worse that it really was.  When I finally got to San Diego and found the Hard Rock Hotel, I parked in the garage and flew up the stairs to the eleventh floor.  Our old routine returned with ease, without a second thought. 

I stuck my head carefully out of the stairwell to see if anyone was around before pushing the door wide and breaking into a run. It was early Thursday morning and so thankfully the hallways were clear. I swiftly got to Cade's room and knocked once, the blood rushing in my ears and my hands clenching in anticipation.

I heard shuffling behind the door and five seconds later the door opened and I was falling into his open arms. 

"My fucking God, Brook.  Oh God!"  Cade said as he pulled me into his room.  My bag dropped at our feet and he just held me close, crushing my body up against his, his hand cupped around the back of my head as he breathed me in.  I turned my face into the curve of his neck and wrapped my arms around him in anxious desperation to be closer to his body. 
Jesus, I never want to let go
.  His familiar scent assaulted me; all warm, spicy and man. He held me like that for a minute, both of us absorbing the other as much as we could.

"Cade," I choked out his name just before our mouths locked together in a long, deep kiss.  I felt the desperation in him by the way he held me and the way his mouth sucked on mine, our tongues laving each other as we stumbled backward into the room without ever breaking our kiss.  His hands tangled in my hair and mine in his as we strained frantically against each other. He lifted me and my arms and legs wrapped tightly around his body while his arms held me so close it felt like we were one person.

"I'm sorry, Cade.  God, I'm so sorry," I cried; the tears raining down my cheeks.  Love, happiness, sadness, desperation, passion and longing all flooded through my entire being at once.  I couldn't breathe but I wasn't sure if the gasping was originating with Cade or me. He was as overwhelmed as I was as he carried me into the room and to the bed.

"Baby, Jesus Christ.  I missed you."  We fell onto the mattress and frantically ripped at each other's clothes, anxious to feel skin on skin.  "I love you," he groaned against my breast as he lifted my T-Shirt up and over my head.  I was sobbing into his shoulder unable to stop the shaking that wracked my body.  He rose up slightly and looked down into my face as he pushed my hair to the side while my fingers still frantically tugged at his shirt and the buttons of his jeans.

"Shhh, Brook. Don't cry, my love."  His blue eyes burned me alive as he suddenly slowed down, his movements deliberate and purposeful while he touched my face with the back of his hand and then slid it down my neck and to cup my right breast.  Pausing to capture its weight in his hand, he brushed his thumb lightly, ghosting over my nipple. I felt it harden underneath his touch and I watched his eyes close as he felt it. 

"Bloody hell.  I can't take being away from you anymore," he whispered as he bent his head toward mine and resumed the delicious kisses.  He started out slow and nibbling but within seconds we were back to devouring, so hungry and thirsty all at the same time.  My hands resumed their task of tearing at his clothes while I sucked his tongue into my mouth.  He groaned and pressed his erection into my hands as I opened his pants.

"Oh, Cade.  Uhnnn, I want you... I've missed you so fucking much. I don't want to wait, I can't wait.  Please," I begged as my hands closed around his length. He grunted and struggled to help me push down his jeans, the urgency to be closer afflicting Cade as much as it did me.  We were both starving for each other, the more than two-month separation driving us on frantically.

He peeled my remaining clothes off of me, his hands deft and swift, all the while his mouth hovering over mine, and giving in to kissing me when I tugged his head down. I fisted my hands in his hair and pulled on the roots slightly.  He groaned and spread my legs with his, rubbing up and down my wetness.

"God... it's been so long.  I can't stand it," he almost growled.  "Dear God, I want you, love... I've missed you so much. 
Too
much, Brook."   My heart ached at his words because I knew exactly what he meant.  The love we had for each other was so overpowering it somehow overshadowed everything else in our lives.  Nothing would ever mean more than being with Cade.  We both knew it.  Finally being with him had all of the doubt and disillusion that built up over the past weeks disappearing into thin air. 

He was right.  Everything would be fine as long as we were together.

Cade lowered himself to the bed so that his elbows rested under my arms, his hands holding my head as he sank into my body.  I arched my back and rocked my hips into his, aching as he filled me to the hilt.

"Ohhhh...” I said softly against his mouth just before his tongue teased my lips apart. I pulled him into me, inexorably deeper, relentlessly wanting more and more of him, encasing him again and again as he moved inside me and against me.  His movements were long and strong like he was savoring every inch of our bodies together.  Our kisses were like wine, so sweet and hot, sucking and licking, taking and giving.  I was losing myself and I only wanted to drown even deeper.  I clenched my muscles around him wanting him, needing him to feel me and to give him the same pleasure he was giving me.

"Jesus, babe.  Whatever you're doing, keep doing it.  You feel so bloody good. You have me on fire, mmm," he moaned against my neck, his open mouth dragging across my skin.  He excited me like no other and the throbbing started and I couldn't stop it.

"Let’s burn then.  I want you to come inside me," I gasped and scratched my nails down his back and grabbed his muscled ass.

"Brook... God," Cade groaned and kissed me again, the plundering of his tongue in my mouth and the luscious kisses only serving to push me closer to the edge.  Steady and strong he drove into me again and again, his breath rushing out in bursts. His effort to hold off for me was obvious. I would have been fine without climaxing. I just wanted to be close to him, but he knew how to coax it from me.

My body started to shudder and contract around him as I gave myself over to the flood of sensations. "Uhhhh...”

"Yes, love... I can feel you starting to come. I love that I do that to you.  Oh, babe..." His body tensed and shuddered as he thrust one last time while he came deep inside my body.  I found myself wanting every drop of him that I could get and I rocked my hips and squeezed around him.  "Uh, Brook," he breathed out and collapsed upon me.

We lay still connected together, Cade panting into the pillow and me stroking my hands lightly up and down his back.  I raised my head to bite into his shoulder.  He laughed lightly and raised his head so that he could look down into my face.

"Do you bloody get that I can't live without you?" He quirked his eyebrow at me and grinned as he thrust hard against me once more.  I reached up and ran my hand through his gorgeous hair.

"Yes.  I'm sorry...” I began.

"Shhh."  Cade nuzzled my nose and kissed me lightly on the lips, brushing his open mouth against mine. His sweet breath rushed over my face and I raised my mouth for more. "Shhh... Just kiss me.  You taste so good."  He kissed me again deeply then raised his head and gazed into my eyes, his blue eyes still glazed over with passion.

I looked up at him seriously for a moment before he slid out of my body and to my side, pulling me against his chest and into the crook of his arm. I closed my eyes, the exhaustion catching up to me; my body relaxed and sated in the arms of the man that I loved.  "I just...”

"I know.  We don't have to rehash it.  It's been hell on both of us. But it's almost bloody over.  I'm counting the days."

"When are you supposed to go back to New York?" I asked hesitantly.

"Friday.  They want me to fly back from San Diego and not go up to L.A."  His hand brushed up and down my arm, his touch soothing and comforting, but he sighed heavily.

I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest.  "What is it?"

"I just... I'm tired of this whole bloody charade.  I want to be honest. And tomorrow will just be more of the same.  Then they ship me off and away from you as quickly as they possibly can."  His frustration was clear. "I just feel like it's never going to bloody end."