Beyond Evidence (4 page)

Maria didn't have anyway of contacting anyone, Billy had blacked out the windows and cut off the telephone in the bedroom. All she had was painkillers on a four hourly basis, water and food three times per day. Maria felt like she was in prison at that time. But she knew that Ross was due home within the following two weeks after his first year of university and once he saw what had been happening he would deal with it, he wasn't a little boy anymore.

Those next two weeks were like hell. Her broken ankle was not healing and her neck was causing her unbelievable pain. Billy was drinking in the excess of one and a half bottles of vodka everyday and he tortured Maria, everyday until a few days before Ross returned.

Maria was raped, sometimes twice per day and was force fed the food he was giving her to keep her alive. She felt like an injured animal that the vets were refusing to put out of its misery!

On the evening of May 3rd 2007, Billy had fallen into a drunken state and had left a full packet of painkillers by the side of the bed. Maria stared at them for what seemed like an eternity. She thought about all of the wasted years she had spent with the monster who was Billy Turner. Supposed to be her loving husband, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse!

Billy Turner was without doubt sick in the head and Maria was one hundred percent certain that things couldn't get any worse. Maria struggled to reach over and opened the drawer in her bedside table. She took out a small pad of paper and a pen and began to write;

Ross, I am so sorry that it has come to this. I lie here and I think about everything I could have done in my life to make yours better as you were growing up. I should have left your father years ago, but it was easier to stay. I want you to get away from your father, as far away as you can before he hurts you the way he has hurt me for the past twenty odd years. I don't blame the alcohol, I blame the hidden personality that the alcohol brought out of him. I cannot go on Ross, if I did leave, I would always be looking over my shoulder and I do not want you living your life trying to protect me! I love you very much Ross and don't you ever ever forget that. I will always be with you. Mum x

Maria folded up the short note and put it on the bedside table. She opened the pack of painkillers and with shaking hands she emptied them onto the bedding. She took the glass of water in her hand that Billy had "so kindly" left for her and she took as many pills as she could swallow in one go.

Meanwhile, Billy Turner slept drunkenly in the room beneath her. Ross returned home the next day to find Billy sat on the single recliner chair in the living room of the house. He was sat forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his head hung down facing the floor.

"Dad, it stinks in here," Ross said as he opened the curtains of the big bay windows. He turned to face Billy who was now standing. He was grey in colour and swayed from side to side.

"Hung over are we?" Ross asked, knowing the answer already. Billy said nothing as Ross waited for a reply. His eyes were bloodshot due to consumption of alcohol and crying. Ross felt his stomach lurch, like a thousand butterflies were whizzing around his intestines.

"What is it?" Ross didn't take his eyes off Billy.

"I'm sorry son." Billy picked up a bottle of vodka from the nest of tables next to the single recliner but it was empty.

He looked at the bottle then threw it down onto the carpet. Ross dropped his backpack, which made a loud thud and thundered upstairs to the bedroom. He threw Maria and Billy's bedroom door open to find Maria tucked up in bed as though she were sleeping which gave the butterflies in his stomach instant relief, but as he walked around to her side of the bed he felt utter devastation when he realised she was dead. She lay there completely lifeless and she had no colour in her face. Her eyes were closed.

Ross sobbed as he lifted the duvet to cover her face when he saw severe bruising to her neck and shoulder. He immediately realised that she had a broken collar bone. His devastation turned to sheer rage and he raced downstairs taking two at a time and burst into the living room where Billy was sat back on the single recliner swigging at another bottle of vodka.

"You evil, disgusting bastard!"
Ross screamed and flew across the room. He began punching the living day lights out of Billy as he sat there like a lump of lard taking his beating. Ross stopped and pulled the vodka out of Billy's hands, "This make it acceptable does it?" He waved the bottle in Billy's face. "Does this precious bottle of vodka make the last twenty years ok to you?" Ross threw the bottle of vodka at the marble fire place and it shattered into a million pieces, spraying vodka everywhere.

Billy could see the rage in Ross' eyes.

"I didn't kill her Ross, she did that herself!" Billy slurred. He had tears rolling down his face. Not tears of a grieving husband but tears of a man who had worry tearing through him. He knew there was no way out of this.

"Don't you dare
cry! You didn't give two shits about her or me for that matter. Why did you marry her if you didn't love her? Why did you make her life so fucking miserable, bringing back all those dirty disgusting excuses for women for all those years? Why didn't you just love the family you had?" Ross took a breath in between the sobs of anger and frustration.

"I wish it was you lying up there. I wish you were the one that had to go through that pain instead of my mum. You may not have killed her but you drove her to it!"

As Ross spat out his anger Billy reluctantly handed him a piece of paper, "it's from your mother," he said.

Ross read the suicide note from Maria and he felt guilt beginning to rush through his veins. "If I hadn't gone off to university none of this would have happened. You wouldn't have been able to hurt her the way you have!" He looked up from the note into his father's eyes and said in the calmest tone, "you're going to hell!"

Ross pushed his father back on to his chair and took his mobile phone out of his pocked and dialled 999. Ross expected Billy to run but he didn't, he sat there on the seat and waited to be carried away by the Police. He listened as he heard his son speak about him as though he was some kind of stranger who had come in from the street and carried out a random attack on a woman. Ross waited at the front door for the Police to arrive, all the while holding down the vomit that swam around his stomach.

My mum's dead
, he thought as a single tear trickled down his cheek.
What am I going to do now?

His mind was back in the present day. It would always be painful for Ross to relive that day but he sure as hell was not going to suffer it alone. Casually flicking through the paper and sipping at his coffee once more Ross knew that his life would never be complete, for it never had been.

He put his mug down and closed the newspaper. As he stood up, Rebecca's face looked up at him from the front page, as though she were looking deep into his eyes searching for an answer as to why he murdered her. He smiled at the picture, feeling no remorse for the young girl. He gave a sigh and walked over to the window which looked out onto the busy street, where to everyone else, life was normal.
Don't fret mum, by the time I am finished, there won't be any of them left.

Five

One month after Maria's death

Ross was alone in Maria and Billy's home and wishing his mother to be alive and his father to be dead Ross began to feel his grief turn into sheer anger. At first he only blamed Billy but when he ran over it in his head again and again he realised that there were many people who played their part in Maria's death. What about the women, if you can even call them that? The women who all knew there was a wife, yet they still lay on their backs with the most repulsive human on the planet.

One month had passed since Maria had died, her funeral had come and gone, Billy had been arrested and put in prison, his plea of guilty to grievous bodily harm and rape prevented a trial and Ross from having to stand up in court and speak of his sordid childhood in front of a group of strangers.

The whole thing had suddenly come to a close and justice had been served – but to Ross, only in the eyes of the law was justice served. Ross had to clear out the house where he suffered as a child, hearing awful things and seeing things that a child should never have to see.

As he cleared out Maria's clothes and shoes, he raked through drawers and wardrobes, finding beautiful garments that smelled just like her. He smelled each item over and over, not wanting to forget his mothers scent. Each smell came with the memory of Maria's gentle face but immediately came the memory of torture. Ross came across a shoe box that was heavy and fit for bursting. He pulled it down from the top shelf of the wardrobe and carried it over to the bed. As he sat down he pulled the cardboard lid off and inside was numerous envelopes, all addressed to, "Son".

Ross felt a ripple of happiness pass through him as he saw the word on the envelopes. Had Maria left him something new to learn about her, something that only he and his mother would share without Billy having any control over it?

He opened the first envelope which sat at the top of the box, almost tearing the letter inside as he fumbled with it feeling excitement, curiosity and fear of what was inside.

Ross began to read, his heart pounding against the wall of his chest, his breathing short and fast. As he read, confusion began to set in;

1st April 1979

Son,

You may not know about me. I am your biological mother. I named you Jeffery Turner on the day you were born, however your name is likely to have been changed after you were adopted into your new family. This is my first letter to you since you went to your new family. I want you to know that my decision to give you away was not
easy, in fact it was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I do not know what age you will be if you ever get to read this, so I do not know really how to tell you things. But all that you should know is that I would have been the best mum I would have known how to be and if I had had the
chance I would have loved to see you grow. You should know that giving you up
was the
best
thing for you, for reasons that you do not need to know right now. But the family that have taken you into their home will be able to give you the best life, a life that I am sad to say you could not have had with me. I sincerely hope that your life has been well lived so far and will continue to be great. I think of you every day and love you as much now as the day I gave birth to you. Maybe one day I could tell you that in person.

Love always

Maria Turner x

Ross stared down at the letter after he read it. He read it a few times, feeling the confusion turn to despair, "I have a brother?" he said aloud. He folded the letter and put it back into the envelope it was in, even though it was almost torn to shreds.

Ross emptied the box on to the bed and began to go through each envelope at a time, all of which were numbered one to four. There was a large envelope at the bottom of the box with Ross's name on it. Again he felt the anxiety take over at the realisation that Maria knew that he would find it one day and actually wanted to tell him about his older brother. His skin tingled, his forehead ached and his hands trembled as he opened the envelope labelled with his own name. Inside was a letter to him and an official form which read, ‘Adoption Contact Scotland’.

Ross set the form aside and opened the letter;

Ross,

I understand that you must be feeling confused, maybe even angry. But please understand that I had to keep this from you for both our sakes. You know yourself that your father was a horrible man and if you knew about this then it would have made everything a million times worse. He made me do it Ross, I fought and fought but you know yourself fighting with Billy was like fighting a losing battle. Giving Jeffery away was the best thing for him. But then you came along six years later and I was not about to give you up. I fought for you and in the end I won. I kept you and I left him Ross. But in the end he clawed his way back in and it was the biggest mistake that I ever made. Because of that mistake you have had to endure so much and I am so sorry for putting you through that. You should have had the freedom I gave to Jeffery. I am sorry that I had to leave you and you had to find out that you have a brother this way but it was the only way to keep you safe. I know this must be horrible for you and I wish I could be there with you when you find this but please know that no matter what I always loved you and I wish that things could have been different. I have put you through so much and I thought that the least I could do was give you the opportunity to find the last remaining part of me. I am not saying that you have to but the opportunity is there if you want to take it, even if it is in years to come. All you have to do is fill in the form and send it off and the adoption people will do the rest. I
hope that you can gain some happiness in life and put all of our horrible past behind you.

I love you Ross, always remember that, Mum x.
             

Ross hadn't realised it but he had cried his way through the letter. They were tears of rage. Rage towards Billy for making Maria give away her first baby, rage that he had been kept in the dark for so long about his brother. But mainly, Ross was angry for himself, he had been given the short straw. Why did he have to suffer Billy as a dad, this Jeffery character had been given a
, ‘get out of jail free card,’ and Ross was beginning to feel cheated.

"None of this is your fault Mum," he said aloud
. "None of it."

Ross carried on clearing out the house for the rest of the day, all the while thinking of everything that had happened in the last twenty odd years, he was thinking of Jeffery.

He finally finished clearing the house and as he made his way home in a taxi, he carried with him the box that contained a new world of information, that Ross wasn't quite sure how to cope with.