Beyond Control (14 page)

The added stress could be felt on our entire floor. With spirits this down, it couldn’t be expected that they’d be thrilled to offer any late nights or early mornings, which was exactly what was needed to pull this type of performance off. I called Brandy in my office and she closed the door behind her.

“What’s up?” she asked, sitting in the chair across from me.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I teased.

“I should be asking you that. I, at least, have an out in a few years.” Her eyes glimmered before her lips broke into a smile.

“Point taken. I was thinking we should get some lunch delivered for everyone. Maybe build everyone’s spirit up a bit. Is it too late to place an order?”

“We could do pizza,” she offered. “I think it’s too late for sandwiches or anything else.”

“Okay. Sounds perfect then. Do you mind shooting an email to the team, letting them know when lunch will be arriving?”

“Of course,” she replied. “I don’t envy you.”

“How is it out there?” I asked.

“They aren’t happy. The general consensus seems to be that they feel they’re being punished for doing well.”

“They’re not alone in that thinking. That’s a pretty ruthless move,” I said, glancing at a new email that came in from my father. “I talked to finance and I guess this is pretty typical. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have pushed the team to perform so well. How crazy is that?” I started laughing in disbelief at what was coming out of my mouth.

I’d sent my father several emails requesting that he reconsider the change, but it had already been sent through finance. It was a done deal, at least until we failed and they shifted the forecasts again.

Brandy stood up. “I’ll go place the order. I hear extra pepperoni calling my name. “

“Me too,” I told her as she closed the door behind her.

I walked over to the window and stared out at all of the hustle and bustle of the city. Everyone on his or her way to somewhere—who knows where—talking into cell phones with an intensity that seemed like life hung in the balance of such deliberations. The little figures rushed along the sidewalks, dodging the meandering tourists and families, on their way back to the office or off to lunch. But at the end of the day was anything really accomplished? I pushed aside the nagging feeling of being at the wrong place—inhabiting the wrong life—and turned back toward my desk to immerse myself deeper into my mistaken identity.

My purse buzzed, and I hoped it was a certain somebody sending me a text. I thought back to Jason and his bronzed skin and the scruff along his jawline, and my heart immediately skipped a beat. He was pretty captivating and all man. If I was stranded in the middle of nowhere with a broken-down car, I had full confidence he’d be able to get me on the road again. Thinking back to the guys I’d dated, I don’t think I could say that about any one of them. Was that something that age and maturity presented or was my generation full of softies and hipsters? Grabbing my phone out of my purse, I clicked on the top button and watched the screen light up.

Thinking about our ride on Saturday… Would like to see you again.

My heart fluttered, and warmth filled me up as I read his words over again. Saturday was one of the most enjoyable days I’d experienced in a long time. After we left the coffee shop, we rode for hours, covering most of the country roads and exploring less traveled paths on the island. He asked me to dinner in Winsor before I boarded the ferry, but I turned him down. Not for a good reason, but for a pretty silly one. Everything had been so wonderful that I didn’t want it to end on a bad note. I wished I had stayed for dinner. I really did. He even offered to keep it close to the ferry at a local fish house, but after asking twice he got the message. Of course, on the entire ferry ride back I was worried he got the wrong message, and poor Brandy had to listen to me rehash everything several times when I got home. It was decided after that little fiasco that I’d definitely accept his dinner request next time, if there was a next time. And now it looked like my day was turning around, and maybe there’d be one.

Before texting back, I grabbed my cup of chamomile tea and took a sip. I reached into my purse and shook out a couple tiny white and blue pills into my palm, swallowing them with another sip of tea. I didn’t want to look too eager, but I also didn’t want to blow it by waiting too long to text back. Although, I had such a knack for the latter that I had grown kind of accustom to it.

I quickly texted back.

Me, too. I’d love to go out again. Maybe take you up on that dinner offer after all?

I hit send and watched the status change from sent to delivered to read, hoping I’d get a reply pretty quickly, which I did.

Took a ride out to the lavender fields this morning. Think you might enjoy them.

My heart started pounding. Was this what could be expected from a real, adult relationship? I could really get used to this compared to the college guys I’d had to deal with.

But that being said¸ I couldn’t resist teasing him a little and quickly typed away.

Don’t you ever work?

Quick to respond, he wrote back.

Work smarter, not harder

I smiled, feeling the familiar joy spread through me as I thought about him out and about this morning, actually stopping to think about me. Could I actually be this lucky? I texted back.

So about that dinner?

The phone buzzed back a response.

Free Friday night?

My heart did a little dip, wishing our date was sooner, but I refused to become one of those chicks. I had a life and it wasn’t going to revolve around a guy.

Sounds perfect. Gotta run. Send me the details.

He wasn’t rushing things. I needed to cool my jets, take my time, and enjoy my new life. Brandy tapped on the glass to signal the pizza had been delivered, and I tossed my phone into my purse and joined everyone in the conference room. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to get the team reenergized, but I thought I might want to take a cue from Jason’s mentality.
Work smarter, not harder.

I looked up to see who was peering into my office. Bennett smiled and gave a quick wave. He was one of the few employees who didn’t give me a hard time when I came on board, which I appreciated. But I hoped there weren’t any ulterior motives hidden behind his kind façade.

“Hey, Gabrielle,” he began. His blue eyes caught my attention. They seemed more playful than I would expect for a coworker just checking in.

“Yes?” I asked, clicking out of my email.

“I wanted to tell you that I thought you handled everything really well with the team. I know I’m already feeling better.”

Riiight. I looked up at him. He had moved completely into my office. He was dressed in a pair of khakis and a yellow polo. The color of it kind of reminded me of one of the labels on our bestselling cheese, and I had to keep the grin off my face. Complete kiss ass.

“Thanks. I appreciate that. Was there anything else?”

“A few of us were going to head to Pinky’s Pub after work. Thought you might like to join us?” He shoved his blond hair back and waited for my reply. Brandy thought he was good looking in a preppy 1980s kind of way. I told her she had watched the Breakfast Club way too many times. Although, I didn’t actually think that was possible. That was a classic. I wasn’t sure if that really was how the eighties were, but my mother vowed it captured the era pretty well. Plus, there had been some eighties fallout into the nineties when I arrived into this world.

“Thanks, but I’ve got…” I almost choked on my words as I saw Jason roll down the hallway.

“Plans?” he asked, following my gaze. “Oh. I see.” His voice turned from sweet to irritated pretty quickly. He spun out of my office, nearly clipping Jason as he rounded the corner.

“Who let you in here?” I teased.

“Brandy,” he replied, giving her a slight wave as she sat beaming in her cubicle.

“Is that so?” I found myself almost purring around him and felt a stir of pleasure as I watched him take me in.

“So this is business-Gabby?” he asked with a delightful twinkle in his eyes. “I could get used to this.”

‘It’s Gabrielle,” I corrected. Tsking my finger. “I’ll lose my street cred.”

I couldn’t hide my smile as I glanced down at my outfit. I was wearing another pencil skirt but this one was black with red stitching detail and showed off my curves.

“Have a seat,” I told him.

“Should I shut this?” he asked, grinning, pointing at the door.

“If you have to ask that, my guess is yes,” I replied, feeling butterflies flutter once more. When he turned his back toward me, I almost made a little noise as the definition of his broad shoulders came into sight. I couldn’t help but imagine rubbing his shoulders and back after a long ride.

Jason sat on the chair in front of my desk and crossed his leg, leaning back in the office chair. “I’m glad you’re willing to go on another date with me this Friday.” His voice broke through my musings of him as I looked up.

“Me too. I mean I’m glad you’re willing to invite me again,” I said, suddenly feeling a mixture of apprehension and excitement boiling in me. I glanced out the windows facing the street and wondered what on earth came over me when he was around.

He leaned forward, propping his elbows on my desk, and produced a long exasperated breath. His mouth twitched slightly when I finally turned my attention back to him.

“I wanted to give you a heads up,” he began.

“About what?” I asked.

“Your dad is going to invite you over for a dinner this week, and Aaron’s going to be there. I will too,” he said, his lips twisted into a thoughtful expression. “I just didn’t want you to be blindsided again like you were at the charity event.”

“Wow. Thanks for telling me,” I said, shifting in my seat as feelings of discomfort swept over me. “You could’ve emailed or messaged me.” Not wanting to admit that I enjoyed this method all too much.

“Never leave a trail when it comes to family drama,” he said laughing.

“Sounds like you’ve dealt with it before?” I prodded.

“Who hasn’t?” he asked.

I nodded and in the same instant saw an alert come over my email for a dinner date with my dad.

“Speak of the devil,” I said, clicking on the message. I read it through and sure enough there was no mention of my brother attending.

“So you’ll be coming?” he asked, sitting back in the seat.

I bit my lip and glanced back at Jason. “I will. But I’ll bring Brandy with me. My dad won’t want drama to be seen by anyone outside of the family; so hopefully, he’ll behave with two outsiders around.”

“You know I’ve been thinking about what you told me back at the coffee shop,” he began. “And I’d just hate to think that fear is holding you back from your dreams.”

“Sometimes fear can be a driving force for change too,” I countered. But I had to admit I was in complete shock that he’d really paid attention to any of the things I’d told him at the coffee shop.

“Yeah. It can be.” He nodded and leaned closer to the desk. “But that’s not what I see when I watch you here. I see you getting absorbed into a system you don’t want to be part of.”

“You wanna know my biggest fear?” I whispered, leaning forward across my desk.

His lip quirked up slightly in amusement and he nodded.

Placing my index finger on his chin, I gently turned it toward the glass overlooking the cubicles and pointed. I felt especially bold in this position and enjoyed the energy that was running between us.

“That. Out there. On your way out, take a look inside all of the offices. You’ll see pictures of family plastered everywhere, but if you ask them about their kids, they don’t really know them. One guy even missed his first two kids’ graduations because of business trips. He actually bragged about it to me like that would prove how loyal he was to the company. Who does that? So in a nutshell that is my fear. I don’t want to become inhuman and forget what’s really important in life…because this isn’t it.”

Jason turned to face me and his eyes locked on mine. I was still leaning across my desk, and he was only inches away, but I didn’t move. My pulse accelerated as his eyes fell to my mouth, lingering on my lips. I took a deep breath in, and a light mix of cologne and soap mingled in the air between us.

“I think that’s a legitimate fear,” he murmured, his eyes still searing through me as his gaze shifted. “But that’s not who you are. You would never become that no matter what your circumstances were.”

I felt heat run through me and began to slide back in my chair. After all, I was in the office with the blinds up. I didn’t want to provide a complete show for my coworkers.

“I think I also timed this visit pretty well…” his voice was light as he wiggled his brows, bringing me back to reality.

“How so?” I asked, while typing back to my father.

“It’s almost quitting time, isn’t it?” The look in his eyes was intoxicating. I felt like he drugged my senses. “I thought it would be nice to take you out for a pre-dinner date before Friday. Make sure you really want to commit to an entire dinner with me.”