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months to get my head to this place we are right now, you understand? All that soul searching? It’s been done—and it’s been done quietly, and in my own head, and I’m fine with it.”
Sebastian nodded a little and then tried to protest, but Asa kissed his forehead gently, and stepped closer. Their bodies were almost flush, almost so close it was hard to keep balance, and in spite of himself, Sebastian found himself shivering into that wide-chested embrace.
He wanted so badly to believe, and Asa knew it.
“It’s not that I’ve known the wrong
women
,” Asa
continued. He smoothed his palms along Sebastian’s upper arms in a way that made Sebastian’s knees go wobbly and
weak. “I just haven’t known the right
person.
You care about me—you care about my family—and it scares the hell out of you. Don’t think I don’t get that. But don’t let what I have or haven’t done in bed with another male body get in the way—
not now. Not again. I’ve been fantasizing about men for most of my life. I’ve been fantasizing about
you
since you screamed back at me in front of the refrigerator. Every time you opened your mouth and stuck your foot in it, I wished it was my tongue instead. And now… now you’ve had me. You
had me in your mouth and helpless. Are you going to tell me that only happened because I haven’t been touched, or are you going to believe that happened because it was you
touching me?”
Sebastian shuddered, wrapped his arms around Asa’s
waist, and started kissing his neck, his jawline, his
collarbone, his chest. He thought it was the only answer he had. Asa tilted his head back and allowed Sebastian to slide his Hawaiian shirt off his shoulders, and then raised his arms so Sebastian could pull off his T-shirt. Sebastian
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lowered his head and was about to pull a flat, tan-pink
nipple into his mouth to worry the end when Asa cupped
those big hands around his jaw and stopped him.
Those hands were shaking.
“Answer me, Sebastian,” he rasped. “I need to hear you
say it.”
Sebastian clenched his arms around Asa again and
shuddered. “Say what?”
“Say you know it’s you.”
He shuddered harder.
“Say it,” Asa insisted, and Sebastian licked his lips and gazed up with limpid eyes in the darkness. For a moment, he didn’t think he could, but Asa’s face was concerned, and open, and trusting—and determined. Sebastian’s body was
absolutely throbbing with the need to be with this man, and his only ticket on the ride was to admit that it wasn’t just a thing or an experiment: it was truly making love.
“It’s me,” he rasped, surprised when he heard his own
voice. “It’s me. You care about me… my body….” Oh God.
Asa gave a smothered grunt of impatience and thrust his
hips roughly against Sebastian’s thigh. “My body does this to you,” he finished, and Asa’s smile gleamed briefly, both arrogant and relieved.
“Absolutely.”
And he lowered his head and took Sebastian’s mouth in
a kiss so brutal, it was almost like he lost time. When he came to, he was sprawled on the bed, shirtless and shoeless (they were only flip-flops) and Asa was pulling at his shorts and his underwear. Sebastian grunted and arched his hips, and then he was naked.
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Asa was naked, too, and crawling up the bed between
his legs. He was a little awkward, at first, with Sebastian’s cock. He held it in his hands and drew one finger from the base to the tip, and then two. Sebastian kept his eyes open as long as he could, watching as Asa ran a finger under the ridge of the head and then rubbed the taut line of flesh right under the crown. Asa was careful and methodical,
alternately rubbing, stroking, or squeezing. Then, when
Sebastian’s carefully suppressed quiet seemed to goad him on, he tried licking.
Sebastian’s eyes closed and his back came off the bed,
and he practically screamed Asa’s name. Every nerve ending in his body tried to turn itself inside out in an effort not to come.
Asa chuckled, his lips brushing the skin alongside the
shaft, and Sebastian bucked some more and whimpered,
“Asa….”
“You want to come?” Asa’s customary calm was only
damaged a little by the rough breathing of arousal;
otherwise, he seemed completely captivated by watching
Sebastian lose his ever-loving mind.
“Nnnghhhahhhhhaaaaa!!!!”
“Then come,” Asa whispered, and he completely
engulfed Sebastian’s prick with his mouth, squeezing at the base like Sebastian had done.
Sebastian screamed and groaned at the same time. His
fingers clenched in the comforter, and he spilled thickly into Asa’s mouth, panting and gibbering and curling his toes and then curling his thighs and his stomach around Asa’s head.
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lay there, panting, while stroking that long gold and brown hair away from Asa’s face.
When Asa looked up and grinned, there was a slippery
glaze shining around his mouth, and Sebastian stared at
him, wide-eyed and breathless, while Asa wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Sebastian swallowed hard against the lump in his throat.
“What?” Asa pulled up to rest his chin on Sebastian’s
stomach, and Sebastian ran his hand through that coarse, satiny hair fitfully.
“You look so happy.”
“You look so scared.”
“I’ve done this before.”
Asa bent his head and kissed the tenderness of
Sebastian’s abdomen. “I haven’t. You’ll have to walk me
through it.”
Sebastian chuckled. “Walk you through what? We both
just came.”
Asa’s grin was predatory in the darkness. “Yeah, but it’s been a while for me. I’m ready to go again; and this time I’ve got some staying power.”
Sebastian’s misgivings melted in the face of that quiet, unbounded optimism. “Really?”
Asa nodded and nuzzled about Sebastian’s ribcage,
putting his mouth over a pink nipple and suckling on it.
Sebastian hissed and arched his back and felt—incredibly—
the beginnings of arousal stirring in his groin.
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been a while,” he said again, seriously. “Before that house party, we had sex maybe once a month. My skin is
starving.
”
Sebastian felt a sudden sense of optimism himself. Asa’s skin was smooth and golden; the time working under the
sun and swimming in the pool had given him a lean overlay of muscles and a massy chest. He extended a more confident hand and began to swallow some of that glorious golden skin with his palm.
“I’ll feed it,” he whispered, looking forward to it. “But it’s been over a year for me… I might not remember what I’m
doing, either.”
Asa’s eyes were puzzled and colorless in the dark. “A
year? Really?”
Sebastian didn’t want to talk about it, not now. He
rolled to his side and curled over Asa’s body, meeting his mouth in the middle. Asa wrapped his arms and legs around Sebastian’s long, slender strength and kissed him back, and for a moment, it was just them, naked in the moonlight, lost in each other.
They eventually made it beyond kissing and to the bottle of lube in Asa’s corner drawer.
Asa started out by pushing Sebastian onto his back and
kneading at the inside of his thighs until they were nice and loose and his cock was once again hard and aching.
Sebastian felt exposed, there, in front of Asa’s regard: vulnerable.
But Asa spoke softly to him; he wasn’t witty, not often, but he was grave and kind and excited to be touching
Sebastian with nothing between them but silver shadows.
Sebastian, for his part, gave terse, half-embarrassed
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instructions, and tutoring Asa in how to make love that way was one of the most erotic things he’d ever done.
“Okay…,” he mumbled, covering his eyes with his hands
and concentrating on the sensation and not the wanton
abandon of being splayed out for Asa’s curious, devouring gaze. “Uhm… are your fingers wet? I mean, I know there’s lots of porn out there where some bastard just spits twice and just pounds away, but I tried that once and it hurt like a sonovabitch… ahhhhhh….”
Asa’s two highly lubricated fingers traced a slick path
from Sebastian’s testicles and lower, down, confidently
stroking that tender bit of skin beneath, and then into the cleft of Sebastian’s ass. They both knew what came next.
One finger breached him, and Sebastian moaned, because it was good. He’d always liked this part: the stretching, the preparation, the anticipation. If he could just close his eyes and sink into this….
“Sebastian!” Asa commanded, and Sebastian opened his
eyes with difficulty. Asa kept his gaze and added another finger, and when Sebastian would have closed his eyes
again, Asa scowled. “Look at me.”
He moved his fingers again, and Sebastian kept his eyes
desperately on Asa’s, even as he arched his back and
moaned again.
“I can’t….”
“Look at me! I had better be as important to you as you
are to me!”
Sebastian’s eyes grew wide and shiny, and Asa
scissored cruel, taunting fingers inside his body. “There…”
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bundle of nerves. “A little harder… there….” He went to
reach for his cock, because it all felt so good, but Asa grabbed his cock with his other hand.
“Just keep looking at me,” he ordered, and if Sebastian
had felt vulnerable before, he felt positively helpless now.
But Asa knew a man’s body—had apparently been living
with his own for a number of years. He kept a steady
pressure inside of Sebastian and a smooth stroking motion on the outside.
Sebastian kept his eyes on Asa’s clean, faintly Roman-
nosed profile, loving every line, every shadow of it more as Asa’s concentration on his task increased. Finally, his eyes closed because they had to, and he found himself begging incoherently.
“Please… please… please… oh God… please….”
Asa’s fingers disappeared, and Sebastian went to move
to his hands and knees. The flat of Asa’s hand in his chest stopped him.
“I’ve watched the movies, Sebastian; I want to see your
eyes.”
Sebastian had no answer to that; he just lay there,
spreading his thighs and lifting his hips, and felt Asa’s huge, slick body poise at his entrance. There was the first bit of pressure, and then….
“Ahhhh…,” he hissed. The aching, burning pain….
“Should I stop?” Asa’s voice was all concern.
“God no… just… slowly… slowly… slowly…
Gawwwwwwwddddd
….”
Asa was all the way inside him now, but he wasn’t
moving. Sebastian opened his eyes and saw that faintly
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cross-eyed, serious regard and managed, “You can move
now, please….”
Asa’s faint smile was almost as good as that powerful,
lean body moving over him, moving inside of him, slowly, so slowly… and the rhythm built itself, the pleasure burned into his bloodstream, and he started flexing his thighs and moving under Asa, and finally he begged, “Faster…. Please, dammit, faster….”
Asa’s hips started pounding like a jackhammer; he
threw his head back, and squeezed his eyes shut, and
Sebastian felt compelled to watch him, straining with every muscle toward that elusive, incandescent peak.
Asa’s stomach rubbed up against Sebastian’s cock when
he wasn’t ready for it; he was unprepared for his own
orgasm, for the sudden, slick spatter of his come on his belly. His eyes closed and then opened, and he cried out, and Asa grunted, then moaned.
“So damned sexy,” Asa rasped, keeping that steady,
hard pounding. “So good… so… so…
Gawwwwwdddd
….”
Sebastian’s hands went from clenching in the sheets to
wrapping around Asa’s shoulders as this giant of a man
threw everything he had into a shuddering, gasping orgasm.
For a moment, Sebastian rubbed his shoulders, stroked his neck, nuzzled against his chest, calming him, soothing him, after the terrifying flex and spasm of muscle rocked him in climax. Asa dropped to his elbows and shuddered in
Sebastian’s arms, and Sebastian had a revelation.
Both of us, he thought.
Both of us are vulnerable here.
You can’t look a man in the eye while you’re fucking him silly
and not lay a piece of your heart there.
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Of course, Sebastian was pretty sure he wasn’t going to
get his piece back.
SEBASTIAN had always had a secret perversion for the smell of sex. Sex of any sort—gay, hetero, solitary—the smell of it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end and his body tingle.
Asa didn’t drag him to the shower when they were done.
Instead, he pulled up the comforter, wrapped his arms
around Sebastian, and settled his head on the big fluffy pillow, and all without a single word.
“No shower?”