Bewitched, Blooded and Bewildered (10 page)

“Her office is in Oak Park. We’ll have to wait a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever met a summoner who was up before the crack of noon.”

“Who’s this?” Marie asked.

“Patience Roberts. She’s a summoner,” Lex replied.

“I don’t think I’ve met her yet.”

“You will,” he said darkly. “Patience is always skirting the rules. I’ve only managed to catch her at it twice, but I know she’s broken dozens of summoner laws.”

“And we’re working with her? On purpose?” I asked. That didn’t sound like a good idea.

“Simon’s right—she’s the best. Problem is, bein’ a good summoner usually means you’re a bad person,” he explained.

Rather like being a necromancer. I’d yet to meet a good necromancer. There were some I didn’t mind, like Zach’s apprentice Anthony, but I knew he was up to no good. I think he was even pre-law. Vampire lawyers. Now that was a terrifying thought.

We left the house around noon and headed toward the city. Oak Park was near the suburb I’d just moved out of, so I was pretty familiar with it. Nice place. I used to take the bus there to browse the shops, which were cute but pricey, and I’d wander around and go stare at the Frank Lloyd Wright homes. Maybe I could talk Lex into buying one of the humongous Victorian houses in the area. He could afford it, though the thought of washing that many windows was a tad bit scary. Maybe we could hire a maid.

We parked in a lot next to an El train stop, and I looked around for an office building. Instead, Lex led me to an inconspicuous door set between a shoe store and a novelty shop. I glanced in the window of the shoe store and eyed the boots, wondering what Lex would say if I asked to shop. I wasn’t exactly a cute shoes kinda girl, but I wasn’t opposed to the idea of cute shoes. I’d just never had a chance to wear them in my previous day job. Cute shoes meant blisters, aches and pains, and comfortable shoes were usually clunky and/or ugly.

An ancient intercom system was next to the plain wooden door, and I peered at the names next to the buttons. Lex didn’t push any of the buzzers and merely opened the door and walked inside. We walked up two flights of stairs—reminding me that I should be grateful that I quit smoking because I get winded way too quickly—and turned down a hallway. Hardwood floors creaked beneath our feet as we passed frosted-glass doors proclaiming Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine and Dr. Howard, until we arrived at the last office, All On Red Consulting. Plain font, no cute logos, nothing that hinted at its being a magician-owned establishment. Usually magician businesses had a tell of some sort, something that signaled to other magicians that the place was safe. The number three was most typical—Three Willows Café, Three Oaks University. Then again, that was probably about to come back to bite us all in the ass, because the hunters were sure to figure it out.

I followed Lex into the office, and I walked into a wall of pungent brimstone-scented magic.
Eau de summoner
. Gross. There was a bland waiting area with an empty fish tank and old magazines strewn across the coffee table. Zach’s face smiled from one of the covers, his arm around some skinny blonde model, and I flipped him off as Lex opened the inner office door without knocking.

I heard the occupant’s voice before I saw her. “No. Get out,” she snapped.

“Nice to see you too, Patience,” Lex drawled.

I stepped around him and got a look at her. Though her eyes were hidden behind a pair of round, mirrored sunglasses, I knew Patience Roberts was glaring at Lex. Her short hair was cherry red and cut in funky, angular layers, but she wore a plain, black business suit with a white blouse. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“You’re not welcome here, Duquesne, and you don’t have grounds to harass me anymore, so you can get the hell out of my office.”

“He’s not here to harass you—we’re here to hire you,” I said.

“Oh, this should be good. Are you looking to deal in demons now, Ms. Morrow? Your father always enjoyed it, and he was happy to pay the price in flesh,” Patience said. She grinned, and my stomach stopped, dropped and rolled.

“That’s Mrs. Duquesne,” Lex corrected, “and you’d do well to call her Titania. In fact, as your Oberon, I’m orderin’ you to help us, so get the twist out of your panties now.”

The smile slipped from her face, and she dropped a series of F-bombs so epic even I was impressed. Finally she jabbed a finger at the empty seats in front of her desk. “Sit the fuck down and tell me what you want.”

For a moment I wondered if Lex was going to demand she say “please”, but he strode across the room and took a seat. I followed, my stomach still knotted. I wasn’t sure I could work with her if she’d known my father in the biblical sense. The odds were against it—Lovely Laura didn’t like sharing her playthings, and I couldn’t imagine her allowing dear old Dorian to have any frolic on the side, even if it was business related.

“We need a guide through the shadow realm,” Lex said.

She quirked one bright-red brow. “I knew a summoner who honeymooned there once, but I don’t think it’s quite your ideal vacation destination. Why the shadow realm?”

“We need a ritual from the library of Kristoff Valkyrie.”

“You mean
you
need a ritual,” she said, turning her attention to me. “This is about you and Zachary Harrison, isn’t it?”

“Does it matter?” I asked.

“Damn right it matters. If I help you against him, I’m a dead woman. You can’t ask me to do that.” Patience scowled as she tugged a desk drawer open and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. My hands twitched as she lit up her smoke. I wanted one
so bad.

“He wouldn’t kill you for helping us,” I scoffed.

“Yes he would if I helped rob him of his favorite pet. No offense, Titania, but I don’t care how hard you and your Oberon ask me for my help. I’m not getting involved in this.”

“Name your price,” Lex said, his voice low.

Patience leaned back in her chair, and silence hung heavily in the air as she smoked, eyeing us both. I hate mirrored sunglasses. They made her look soulless, and as a summoner, that could well be possible.

“A favor. From each of you,” she said when she finally spoke.

Lex swore, and I knew that meant it was worse than it sounded. I bit the bullet and decided to admit my ignorance. “What does that mean?” I asked.

“It’s like makin’ a deal with the devil,” Lex growled, and she snorted.

“Don’t be such a drama queen. It means you owe me, and when I call the favor in, you can’t say no. It could be worse. I could ask for your firstborn, but I don’t like kids.” Patience smiled, and it wasn’t pleasant. “That’s my price. Take it or leave it.”

“I’d rather write you a check,” Lex said.

“This is better than money. If Harrison comes after me, I want to know you’re obligated to have my back.”

“Fine. A favor. From each of us,” Lex said. “In return, you take us to the shadow realm, escort us to Valkyrie’s library, help us retrieve the spell, and then escort us back to this realm. Full protection, from beginning to end. And I want the agreement in writing beforehand.”

“What’s wrong, Duquesne? You think I’d bring you to the center of the shadow realm and leave you there alone?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said without hesitation.

Patience laughed. “Maybe. But Harrison would kill me for that too, and there’s no profit in it. I mean it about this favor. If I call you in to keep Harrison from my throat, you damn well better protect me.”

“If that’s what you ask, I’ll do it,” Lex said.

“Your word. Forgive me if I’m not convinced of your interest in my well-being.”

“You have my word. Gods help us all.”

“Good. I’ll draw up the agreement tonight, and we can do it tomorrow night. Meet me here at 11 o’clock,” she ordered.

“Why not tonight?” I asked. The sooner the better, in my humble opinion.

“Can’t tonight. I have plans already. I’ll clear my schedule for tomorrow.” Patience ground out her cigarette in an ashtray next to her keyboard. “You can show yourselves out.”

“How do we know you’re not going to call up Harrison and rat us out?” I asked. She didn’t seem the trustworthy sort.

Patience shrugged. “I guess that’s a fair question. Because there’s no profit in that either. I betray you two, and my faerie-blooded business dries up because I can’t be trusted to aid my kin.”

“Is that all you care about? Profit?” I asked.

She smiled dryly. “Witches. All ‘do no harm’ and ‘holier than thou’. Magic
is
my business. And business is
good
.”

Lex shook his head in disgust, and I agreed. I didn’t consider my magic a commodity. I might be a bad witch, but at least I didn’t sell myself.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Patience.”

“Fine. Don’t forget to bring your favorite weapons. Taking you two into the shadow realm is going to be like chumming the water for sharks. Except these sharks will kill you a lot faster,” she replied.

I swallowed hard, images of demon sharks in my head, and I worried about tomorrow.

Chapter Seven

“The tigers passed the first test,” Portia announced the moment we walked through the front door.

I wanted to say, “Really, this is how you greet us? Seriously?” But instead I was knocked over as Cesár jumped on me. It was like a tactless bomb had exploded all over.

“Bad dog,” Lex scolded him as he pried the mutt off me. This was another reason I preferred cats. Merri and Pippin might try to trip me every opportunity they got, but they couldn’t tackle me like a football player.

“Sorry, they’re a little wound up,” Portia apologized. She fluttered over to me, leaving a trail of faerie frost in her wake, and helped me to my feet.

“What happened with the test?” I asked.

“We couldn’t get much on the details. Their clans are staying pretty tight-lipped, but we know they came out of it okay. No injuries.”

“Eyebrows intact?” I joked halfheartedly.

“Yup,” she replied.

“Any news on when the next test will be?” Lex asked.

“Sometime within the next few days. The council wants this to be fast. Though yours was fast too.” Portia shrugged, running a hand over her thick white hair. “I’m sure they won’t make it through the next test.”

“Glad someone’s in our corner,” I said.

My tests to become Titania were all a blur. A big mish-mosh of demons, magician prisoners, and a dragon, all while vampires were trying to kill me, and Lex was trying to patch up our relationship. It was one of those “it all turned out well in the end” kind of things, and I was
still
recovering from it. I hadn’t gotten to enjoy any of the job’s benes yet, thanks to Harrison’s evil influence, but I was confident that once I was free of him the faerie-blooded population would warm up to me. Provided we all lived that long. Hunters, even more demons, and gods knew what else was just around the corner, waiting to leap out at me. Zombie apocalypse? I wouldn’t be surprised.

I entertained Portia for a while with the Game Show Network, and she left when we headed to bed. Marie was still out on mysterious guardian business. I wondered if she was off fooling around with Dr. Brian Dannaher, but I kept that observation to myself, as requested.

We were exhausted and went straight to sleep without frolic, angry or otherwise. I drifted asleep in fitful tossing and turning, and when I finally slipped into a dream, I found myself standing in an art gallery, frowning at a lumpy sculpture that looked as though it were perilously close to melting off its pedestal.

“Here you are, my dear,” Zach said. I turned toward him, and he handed me a dainty cup of coffee. He was dressed in a tuxedo and was extremely sexy in an undead, James Bond kind of way. Blond Daniel Craig James Bond. Wow.

“Thank you.” I smiled, and he smiled in return, flashing his perfect white teeth. “How much longer do I have to stay?” Modern art was not my thing, and I was bored of chatting with vampires and staring at bizarro sculptures.

“Are you tired?” Concern crossed his face, and I shook my head. I had the weirdest feeling of déjà vu, but I felt fine aside from that. “Just a bit longer then. We have a few more people to speak with,” he said. Zach held his hand out to me, and I put my hand in his and let him lead me away to the next
objet d’art
. My pulse sped at his touch, and I chalked it up to nerves.

Everything was calm and quiet as we continued through the gallery. He leaned close to explain each piece, his breath brushing my skin as he spoke in a low, silken voice. My face flushed, though no one would be able to see it through the layers of makeup caked on it. We met more people whose names I would never remember—their faces were bland and unremarkable, like a series of Ken and Barbie dolls. Zach and I stood in the gallery’s main room, providing fodder for several groups of gossiping vamps around us, and I was distracted by a sudden sinking sensation in my stomach. Something was about to happen. Big, violent and life-changing…but as I looked around, nothing happened at all. The moment passed as though the room had exhaled, and I frowned.

“Is something wrong?” Zach asked.

“Yes. No. I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I feel like something is supposed to happen.”

“Afraid we’re going to start sacrificing virgins or devouring babies?” he asked, a teasing glint in his green eyes.