Betwixt, Before, Beyond (17 page)

Chapter Thirty-Three

He didn't come. Dale never sho
wed up to wipe away my tears...not one.

I cross my arms and fume away in the back seat.

"Are you okay, honey?" Dad looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"Fine." I give him a tight nod.

"Is your leg hurting...or your elbow?"

"No, Mom, I'm fine, really."

I turn away from their worried frowns. I should be happy that I'm heading home. I should be grateful that the doctor let me out a day early. Mom has been explaining how she's set up a bed for me in the living room so I won't have to go upstairs and I'll have everything I need at my fingertips.

I don't care.

Why had Dale not come by? I could have sworn I'd seen him when Adam arrived on Tuesday, but maybe I was wrong. Mom said he had been by while I was out of it. Why had he ditched me as I lay totally coherent for the last day and a half?

Maybe he'd changed his mind about me. Maybe now that I was real and not just a voice in his head he didn't want to know me anymore. I tug at the hospital tag around my wrist, wanting to rip it off.

Dad pulls his car into the drive. Cutting the engine, he looks at me with worried eyes.

"I'm fine, Dad. Just get me into the house."

It is a painful mission. I can't use crutches and the wheelchair won't go up our front steps, so Dad has to carry me while Mom fluffs around trying to get the damn thing to open. It ends up taking forever so Dad has to stand there holding me, while giving constant advice that Mom just finds irritating.

"Dad! Would you just shut up and let Mom do it on her own. She's not stupid."

Mom gets the giggles. Dad responds with a dark look then mumbles, "I'll just carry you through to the couch." Which is exactly what he does.

Placing me down, he gently pops a pillow under my leg and stands up, looking proud of himself.

"All good?" He gives me a smile.

I force my lips north then give him a quick nod. He gently pats my good leg and walks out of the room. Mom strolls in with the wheelchair and is nice enough to forgive Dad with a kiss as he mutters a quick apology.

Taking a seat by my side, she flicks her hair out of her eyes and clears her throat.

"We're going to hate that wheelchair, aren't we?"

She looks over her shoulder at it and nods. "Probably."

"This sucks." I rub my forehead and turn away from her.

"You're not mad about that chair though, are you?"

I can't look at her as I shake my head and feel the tears burn.

"Are you ready to talk about your friends visiting you the other day?"

"They're not my friends," I mumble.

Gently taking my hand, she gives my fingers a squeeze.

"You did the right thing, asking them to leave you alone."

I look at her and shrug.

"Maybe...
but now I have no one." Tears catch in my throat.

"What about Dale?"

"What about him?" I sniff.

"I thought maybe there was something going on between you two."

"Yeah, well me too, but now..." I shrug, aiming for casual. "It doesn't matter anyway."

I lift my chin.

A small smile flitters over Mom's lips. "Starting afresh can be really hard, we all have challenges ahead of us. I feel like this accident of yours has been the defibrillator shock we've all been needing."

I grin. "Yeah, I know."

Tucking my long bangs behind my ear, she turns my head so I'm facing her. "You've been living a life you hate for a few years now. It's time to start fighting for the life you want."

Her blue eyes sparkle.

"I don't know what I want, Mom."

"Yes you do."
Her grin is filled with amusement and I let out a groan.

"Fine! Hand me the phone."

With the elegance of a queen, she rises from the couch and retrieves the phone along with a small scrap of paper. She places it in my hand with a wink and slides the internal doors shut behind her.

I stare at the phone for a long minute trying to decide if I want to do this. Dale and I went through so much those three days he was searching for me. Maybe it was simply the high pressure that made me feel this way about him.

I close my eyes and think about myself squished into the corner of a jail cell with his arms either side of me. That look in his eyes spoke volumes. I couldn't ignore it...but why hadn't he come to see me?

With an irritated huff, I glance at the paper and dial his number.

Two rings later.

"Hello, Dale speaking."

"Where have you been? Why didn't you come see me the last couple of days?"

"Hey Nicole," his voice is calm and easy. "How's it going?"

"Seriously? That's all you have to say?"

There's a pregnant beat and then he sighs. "I came to see you on Tuesday, but your friends beat me to it. I just thought you might need a little space to figure out what you want. I wasn't sure where we stood."

"Where we stood? We just went through all that crap together and you don't know where we stand?"

"Look, you already know how I feel about you. I don't want to pressure you to reciprocate, so I thought I'd let you make the next move."

"You don't know anything about girls, do you?"

"Give me a break, Nicole.
I just want you to decide what you want for you...not because of me, not because of your parents...or your dumb ass friends. What do you want?"

"I don't—
" I'm about to say know, but stop myself. For the first time in what seems like years I do know what I want and I hate that he's making me say it. I huff. "I want you to call me and see how I'm doing. I don't want to lie alone in a hospital bed all night waiting for you to mop up my tears. I want you to be here to welcome me home. I want you to watch movies with me and hang out and listen to Granite with me. I want to read your book and design its cover. I want you to hold my hand and I want you to kiss me goodbye at the end of the day...and I don't want to have to tell you to do any of this stuff! I can't believe I'm humiliating myself like this. Just forget it. You're an obnoxious ass, Dale."

He chuckles.

I would have done anything for an old fashioned phone right about now. Instead I have to suffice with pushing the End Call button really hard.

Leaning back into the couch with too much force, I wince as pain radiates up my arm. I blink at tears and swear. Swiping them away with an angry hand, I gaze out the huge glass windows and almost forget to spot the fact the tree is gone.

Oh who cares about a damn tree?

I lift my leg off the pillow and start shuffling towards the edge of the couch, aiming for the wheelchair. I grip the edge of it and drag it towards me. Then the doorbell rings. I sit statue still in the
living room, straining to hear voices.

"Oh, hi Dale. Come on in."

I miss the next part.

"She's just in the
living room."

"Thanks."

I swivel around to face the door and make sure my pissed off face is in place.

The doors slowly slide apart and his gorgeous mop of hair appears.

"Hey." He gives me that smirk I love and it takes a huge amount of effort not to smile at him.

"What do you want?"
Flustered, I try to pull myself up, but the brakes aren't on the chair and it starts to roll away from me. I stumble on my good leg and start heading for an embarrassing finish on the floor.

Dale's there in a second, gently catching me against him. His arm around my waist holds me tightly to his side.

"I want to catch you when you fall." He grins.

I roll my eyes. "That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard."

Scooping me into his arms, he nudges the chair out of the way and carries me to the couch, nestling me against the soft pillows and carefully arranging my leg. Taking a seat beside me, he brushes my bangs away and smiles.

"I want to drive you to rehab. I want to be there with you and tell you not to quit when it really hurts and you want to give up."

My insides turn to mush as his words sink in. I blink away the tears as he leans towards me.

"And I want to kiss you every day, but not just because I'm saying goodbye."

My lips stretch wide with a smile as his nose touches mine. We lock eyes for a beat that seems to last an eternity and then his gaze lights with a grin as he places his hand on my neck and gently touches his lips to mine.

I've never felt anything like it.

It's soft, sweet and holds more promise than any other kiss I've ever received.

I place my hand on his cheek, running my finger over his smooth scar and relishing the warmth of his lips on mine.

All I can think is, "I've finally found my way home."

*****

"I once was lost, but now am found.

Was blind, but now I see."

Amazing Grace, John Newton, 1779

Acknowledgements

As always there are a huge number of people to thank. I have so much support from my family and friends. I feel very blessed. I would like to take a moment to acknowledge a few key people in this project though.

Peter - thank you for my birthday present - two nights away at a hotel all by myself so I could write my little heart out. Your generosity helped me keep my deadline. Thank you a million times over.

Brenda - you're a super star. Thank you for the awesome cover, thank you for your critiques and proof reading. Thank you for being the world's best friend and my most loyal fan. I love you, chick.

Al - thanks for the cover photo. You do amazing work and I'm so pleased that you understood my vision and captured it so perfectly. On that note, thank you to the BotanyLife teens who modelled for me. You guys rock!

Scott & Ruth - thank you for all your medical advice. I really wanted to make sure I was capturing Nicole's injuries realistically. Your advice and guidance was awesome.

T. G. Ayer, Leigh K. Hunt & J. C. Hart - your critiques were fantastic. Thank you for taking the time to read my work and give me the feedback I needed to make it better. You are all fabulous authors and I love working with you. Go Inklings!!

Connie & my mom - thank you so much for checking on character consistency and dialogue. I so appreciated your help.

Angelique - my editor. Thanks for your advice. Your comments meant so much to me and I feel confident that this is a quality piece of work.

Love146 - thank you for allowing me to use your logo. The work you do is amazing and I feel very privileged to be able to support you, even in this small way.

To my creator - as you know, this story has been very close to my heart for a long time. Thank you for helping me piece it together and write from the heart.

Warning: This book is intended for mature
readers due to coarse language and mature content.

I don't usually write books that require a warning, but I needed to write Dale's story honestly. I felt like the impact of his journey would have been lost if I glossed over some of the situations he faced. Therefore, I am recommending this book for mature teen readers.

For my saviour...

I know what it's like to be in a really dark place...a black pit where the light seems impossible to find. My future felt bleak and hopeless.

Thanks for not letting go and welcoming me home with open arms when I came back.

I love you.