Between Us Girls (16 page)

“Yeah, right.” Her ears felt on fire, a sure sign she should be quiet. “She won't be fine, not without some major lifestyle changes. She needs to walk
every
day, down to the beach instead of the coffee shop for glazed donuts and lattes. She needs to eat more vegetables. And she needs to hire Beau full-time so she doesn't do it all. He gardens too. He doesn't do just handyman stuff. She knows that.”

“It's understandable why you're angry. We get like that when we're afraid.”

Sam clenched her jaw.

“Jasmyn thinks she can hear us.”

“Good. I hope she can. Liv, look, I know you're tired and hurting and
you probably want to quit. But you are not, I repeat, you are
not
checking out on us. We need you here. Do you understand? I need you here.”

I need you here?

Sam brushed past Keagan and sprinted from the room as if a wildcat were in pursuit.

Sam's father died when she was seven. A heart attack.

Like his mother of Swedish descent, Jimmy Whitehorse was blue-eyed and a much-loved high school math teacher. Like his Diné father, he wore his black hair in a thick braid halfway down his back and served on the tribal council. Like both of them, he was gone at a young age.

When Sam was old enough to understand the strange workings of marriage, she realized that her mother—much younger than her dad and still in her late twenties—had been cheating on her father for a long time. As a seven-year-old fatherless child, with no extended family, she only knew that the day after they buried her dad, a stranger moved into the house, a man she had never met.

He was a rough construction worker who took care of her mother and the three sons they proceeded to create in quick succession. He basically treated Sam as if she were invisible except when she was in his way. Then he snarled and called her names. Her mother? She was emotionally absent to her firstborn, unaware of her presence except when a cook or babysitter was wanted.

Much later, Sam realized she was bright, brighter than the adults in her house. She also realized that that fact intimidated them. They verbally struck at her most vulnerable point, her heritage, which was an oddball grandmother of Swedish descent who happened to visit the rez in the 1940s and marry a Navajo man.

School was no different. Kids went for the jugular. It was hardwired into their little brains to call others derogatory names.
Teacher's pet
cut as deeply as did
half-breed, outsider, bilagáana
. She wasn't the only smart one or the only one of mixed heritage, but she seemed to be the only one who carried both identities.

Sam no longer blamed her classmates. The way she flew off the handle,
she had been a fun target for them. Through it all she had learned how to take care of herself, how to fight as a little kid and how to be mouthy as a teenager. Some teachers understood and nurtured her better side. She focused on studies rather than cliques and boys.

But at home? That wasn't fair. That wasn't right.

And the only one who understood it all was dead.

I need you here.

She couldn't lose the only one who had ever shown her the same kindness that her father had.

Twenty-Five

By the time Jasmyn made her way from the hospital to the Casa, darkness had fallen at the end of an unbelievably long day. She was frazzled to within an inch of sitting down on the alley's dirty asphalt and bawling her eyes out.

Driving Liv's bulky minivan on the freeway and parallel parking it in the alley had been no picnic. Now she stood in front of the tall back gate, as solid as any steel door between the twelve-foot walls that surrounded the complex. Under a burned-out streetlamp, she fumbled with Liv's bright orange coil with umpteen keys on it, none of which fit the back gate's deadbolt.

“Oh!” She threw down the keys and they clanked against the concrete. “I quit! I quit!”

“Really, Jasmyn?”

Her heart skipped a beat, but she saw it was only Keagan coming down the alley.

“You quit?” He bent and picked up the keys. “Have you even started?”

“Yeah. I started this day and I am totally, completely done with it.”

“Understandable.” He held the keys up in the dim light and sorted through them. He chose one and tried it on the lock. Then he tried a different one. “I was hoping you weren't quitting the other thing.”

“The other thing?”

“The woman thing I told you about earlier.”

She took a deep breath. The woman thing. All right, there was something to that. She connected with Liv in a way Keagan probably could not.

It was obvious while she sat with Liv at the hospital that afternoon and evening. Despite the environment, time passed peacefully. When Liv was awake, she said things like
Bless you, Jasmyn, dear. Thank you for coming. Do you mind staying a few days? I'll be fit as a fiddle in no time.

When Jasmyn asked her what she could do for her, she replied,
Just be you.

It was the most loving thing Jasmyn had ever been told.
Just be you.
No need to perform, no need to change her looks, words, or behavior. Just be herself.

She watched Keagan try yet another key. “No, I won't quit on Liv.”

“Thank you.” His voice was soft, his head down as he fiddled with the lock.

Jasmyn marveled at the hint of emotion. Once again, his intimidating manner disappeared. “You really care about her, don't you?”

He stopped moving but didn't look at her. “I lost my parents when I was twelve.” He straightened. “This isn't working and I don't have my keys. I thought hers for the gate was the one with the pink dot.”

“The green one matches the gate.” Liv had coded her keys with dots of various colors of nail polish. “You tried it?”

“I tried the whole rainbow. Let's go around to the front. And next time, don't stand out here by yourself in the dark. Call me first.”

She walked beside him down the alley and almost giggled. What had Inez said?
You call Keagan. When we women need rescue, he always there for us. He is our knight.
Apparently, he didn't always need a phone call.

The distance around to the front gate was nearly a block, plenty of time to ask Keagan all about his childhood, but Jasmyn sensed that the tidbit he'd just shared was his limit of self-revelation. No wonder he sometimes called Liv
Mama Liv
.

At the front gate, he punched in the code on the automatic lock and it clicked open. They walked into the courtyard. Even at nighttime its peaceful aura swept over her. The fountain trickled and tiny lights hung from various plants.

She held out her hand for Liv's keys. “Thanks for getting me inside.”

“I'll walk you to the office.”

She was too tired to tell the knight he was off duty.

As they reached the cottage-turned-office, an exterior light automatically blinked on, brightening the entrance area.

Keagan easily chose a key and unlocked the door. Then he reached inside and flipped a switch. The table lamp came on. “I'm sure there's food in Liv's fridge and pantry.” He handed her the key ring. “Red dot for her cottage. You should eat something.”

And then he was gone, as quickly as he had appeared.

He truly was an odd guy.

Inside the office, Jasmyn tried to make herself feel at home. It wasn't happening.

Although she had spent time on Liv's computer, taking care of her own banking business and whatnot, sitting at the desk with Liv nowhere on the premises did not seem right. She opened one desk drawer after another, searching for her cottage key. Where exactly had Keagan said it was? She should have asked him to find it.

“Hey.”

She looked up and saw Sam come through the open doorway. “Hey, yourself. Do you know where Liv keeps the cottage keys?”

“Top right.” She closed the door.

“I already searched every—oh. Here it is. I feel like I'm snooping.”

“No reason to. Liv doesn't mind.” Sam sat on one of the overstuffed armchairs. “So, welcome back. I guess?”

“I guess.”

“Liv's okay?”

“Yes. Groggy, but she was alert enough to talk for a few minutes. Are you okay? You look…” Jasmyn didn't want to say that Sam looked worse than Liv, although she did look decidedly worse. “You look a little peaked.”

“I'm…” Sam's lips flattened into a straight line. Her eyes seemed focused on the Oriental rug at her feet.

Jasmyn stepped around the desk and gave Sam a quick hug. “Yeah, I know. I'll make us some tea.”

The kitchenette area at the rear of the one-room office felt less personal than the desk. Jasmyn had made tea and coffee for Liv and herself on several occasions. Now she easily went about turning on the electric kettle and taking cups, saucers, tea bags, and napkins from the cupboard. Instead of putting cookies on a plate, she added the owl-shaped cookie jar
to the pewter serving tray. When the water was ready, she poured it into her favorite teapot, the one with the lemon-yellow daisy design.

She carried the tray to the table between the armchairs and sat down. “Care to share a cookie jar?”

Sam flashed her half smile. “Mmm, comfort food. Chocolate chip?”

Jasmyn lifted the owl's head and sniffed. “Yup.”

“When they're gone, I bet we could find some of her special mac and cheese in the freezer. Her homemade stuff.”

Jasmyn laughed and held out the cookie jar.

Sam took three and started munching. “You have this whole thing down pat, you know.”

“What's that?”

“WWLD.”

“WWLD?”

“What Would Liv Do. She would do exactly what you did. Give me a hug, tea, and cookies. You're a natural.”

“Really?”

“Really. You don't think I make things up just to be nice, do you?”

“Well.” Jasmyn poured the tea.

“Be honest.”

“No.”

“Right. If I say something nice, I mean it, but I'm not a nice person who just naturally says nice things all the time. I told you I'm not a people person. I'm not Liv. I'm not Jasmyn Albright. I'm Samantha ‘don't come any closer than arm's length' Whitley who says something once in a while that happens to be nice.”

Jasmyn handed her a cup. “Chamomile. It's supposed to be calming.”

“You think I need calming?” She shut her eyes and sipped.

“Liv is going to be all right, Sam. The doctor said so, and you know Liv. She'll bounce back in no time.”

Sam inhaled deeply and opened her eyes. “I suppose you're going to start praying next.”

“Why would I—oh. Because Liv would. WWLD.”

“You're catching on.”

“It's not exactly a habit.” She smiled. “But I think I actually prayed this morning on the back of Keagan's motorcycle.”

Sam's eyes widened. “You were on Keagan's bike?”