Between the Stars and Sky (11 page)

Acknowledgements

This book was different from the last. They always are. But in this one went a different piece of me, and yet there are still many of the same people to thank.

My family, for always being there. And for giving me the roots to write this story even though these characters are rooted in fiction.

Rachel and Lindsay and Abby, of course. You three continue to be in my life even though I spend a lot of time in books and rarely come up for air. I’ve never found better friends and never will.

To Sean, for letting me use your name. And for being such a great friend to talk to about anything and everything that comes to mind.

To Dani, for being my warrior. You do so much for me without even blinking, and I appreciate all of it more than you know. Truly and honestly, you are one of the bravest people I know.

To EJ, for so much already.

Thank you to my friends at work, who make me laugh and have been nothing but supportive, thank you. You know who you are.

Joseph Eastwood and Annie Burns, you two are awesome with your skills. Thanks so much for letting me take advantage of them!

To Keary Taylor, who always takes my wild words and wraps them in beautiful covers. Especially with this one, thank you. This cover. This cover! Thank you so much for your design skills and your friendship.

Rachel, Helen, Chris, Christina, and all my online friends and family, this one is also for you. You showed me support when I was down and let me be silly when I needed to be. Thank you all so much.

A huge thanks to Nyrae Dawn and Joy Hensley for reading this story and loving it enough to write wonderful blurbs about it. I am forever in your debt.

And to you, of course. Because I may write the words, but you give them life when you read them. That’s what matters. That’s what counts. Thank you.

SPECIAL THANKS

A special thanks to all the bloggers and friends who helped reveal the cover for this novel. You are the keys in this journey. I can’t thank you enough.

Allura- Teacups & Bookends

Bonnie- Paranormal Romance & Authors That Rock

Priya Kanaparti

Damian Ledoux

Lexi Cenni - Poisoned Rationality

Ashley Hill - Paranormal Sisters

Megan Monell - Love, Literature, Art, and Reason

Helen Boswell

Marni J - Word To Dreams

Tiffany Perry - Sweet Treat Reading Reviews

Rachel Walter

Christina - Crazy Book Chicks

Tia Bach

Candace Selph - Life Between the Pages

Alexandria Bishop

Andretta - Fang-Freakin-Tastic Reviews

Christopher Chapman

Manda - Who Picked This?

Mia Swartz - M&EM Read

Ashley - Support Indie Authors

Michelle N. Files

Sarena - The Writing Duo

Note From The Author

Between the Stars and Sky
is a different kind of story. I thought of the title first. Before I wrote a single word of it. And then, without knowing the story, I wrote this line:

“That scary and beautiful place where the sky meets the lake in an infinite sea of stars.”

And the idea of the between was born. Of course, I also added the Firelight Festival/Fall element that is so important to the novel, but not in the way you might think. The Firelight Fall is a metaphor for the entire message behind the novel. Some things are not what they seem, and some are. Really, it all depends on the person, the time, the place, the thing, and how we view it. In the Firelight Fall, we see a dangerous game of bravery that is, at its core, a symbol of the bravery it takes to fall in love.

I wanted to create a contemporary story that was different. Magical and real, the same. Instead of focusing on heavy plot details or filler to make the story a lengthy one, I wanted to focus on the details between the story. Rather, what is unsaid between what you’re reading on the page and what you’re imagining. And because the world of most contemporary novels already exist around us, it worked.

By not saying things, having a more minimalistic approach to the novel, the story itself becomes a kind of between. We have plot, characters, and setting, but we also have a story outside the story. Something that is different for every single reader. That raw emotion that comes from breaking the rules of storytelling and blending a poetry-like, very minimal feeling into each chapter. I wanted a book of beautiful moments. Sad moments and happy moments. No filter. No filler. Your reading of Between the Stars and Sky may very well be different than mine.

Additionally, in many of the chapters, character is focused over everything else. We witness Jackson thinking about the person he wants to be. Sarah too. And in this I thought it was beautiful how the two are really between finding themselves without any kind of filler added to the story. Miles and Sean are also factors in this novel, and through them we see what a “normal” couple looks like. Though nothing is truly normal, through that secondary couple we see a kind of balance that doesn’t exist in the main relationship just yet. In so many ways, this is an exploratory novel about characters.

In
Between the Stars and Sky
, my goal was to focus on the emotional aspects of the story. I wanted to create characters that were between loves, between being okay, between understanding what they were even about. And in Jackson, I found a character who was just beginning to understand himself. In Sarah, I found a character who was very much lost even though she didn’t know she was. Through them, we see that being between something is often exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Or not.

It’s all up to you.

That’s the beauty of it.

EXCLUSIVE BONUS CONTENT

PLAYLIST

Gone Too Soon - Simple Plan

In Another Life - The Veronicas

Counting Stars - OneRepublic

September - Daughtry

Half A Heart - One Direction

Young at Heart (Acoustic) - William Tell

Set Fire to the Third Bar - Snow Patrol

So Long Goodbye - Sum 41

Waiting for Superman - Daughtry

Too Close - Alex Clare

Summer Love - One Direction

Wipe Your Eyes - Maroon 5

3000 Miles - Emblem 3

ONE THOUSAND MILES

Before Jackson fell for Sarah, Miles found Sean. But love is rarely easy, and in the town of Huntington life has a way of letting secrets run rampant. Find out what it means to live freely in this poignant and emotional short story about two boys falling in love.

One Thousand Miles

The story of Miles and Sean

“It takes two to make an accident.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

MILES FOSTER WAS CRYING.

“Bitch, please!” Jessica shouted, laughing dry and short. “I can’t believe you don’t like my boyfriend.”

“Not my type,” Miles told her.

“No way! I thought for sure we’d have the same taste in guys. Guess yours sucks.” She snorted, then laughed again; this was hilarious to her. “What about Sam Waters? Is he your type?”

“Getting warmer.”

“Jackson Grant?”

Miles grinned. “Bingo!”

“Fucking whore! He is your best friend!”

“
Was
,” Miles corrected. “He was my best friend until he moved away. Years ago. Without warning.”

“Get over it, bitch,” Jessica giggled, pressing a finger under her eye to catch a falling tear. Dark black pieces of her makeup looked heavy but refused to move.

Miles grinned and pushed her gently with his shoulder. He said, “You first. You were the one who wrote little hearts all over your notebook sophomore year with his name in them.
Mrs. Jessica Grant
.”

She blushed. “Shut up!”

“Okay, okay. How about Scott Semson?”

“Dibs!” she cried. “You know I did him behind the football field last October? So hot. He asked me out again, a movie in a few weeks or something. I said yes, but only if we stopped by the football field after!”

They fell into a fit of laughter all over again, forgetting anything that mattered beyond boys and dreams. Forgetting who they were. Because for two sixteen year- olds like Jessica Richards and Miles Foster, summer life in the small town of Huntington meant nothing but fun.

Meant nothing at all.

Briefly, Miles thought about speaking like Jessica did, always with swearing lilts and cursing tilts. Words filled with unabashed confidence as though the world started and ended with her. Sometimes he did, he tried to. But that wasn’t Miles. Not really. And when he tried he failed.

Miles didn’t know who he was.

So, with Jessica, Miles laughed so hard he cried. To fit. To blend. To forget. To be. Yet the only thing Miles could not be, the only thing he refused to become, was himself.

“I’m not coming back,” Jackson said in a rush of words that cut Miles in two. “One day I’m going to run away and leave this place forever. Travel the world for the summer.”

“And go where?” Miles asked as the two walked together through the dark lights and mad, ambient sounds of the Firelight Festival.

“Italy. Florida. I don’t know. Everyone has been acting so weird, so different. My Dad, especially. He and Mom hardly talk to me anymore and I have no idea what’s going on.” His fingers ran through dark bangs just beginning to grow. “It feels like I’m trapped here. All I want to do is get away.”

“You’d have to come back, Jackson,” Miles told him, pleaded with him. “You can’t just run away from this place forever.”

Jackson paused. And then, “I can. And I’m serious, Miles. I’m going.”

Miles tried a different approach. His head was spinning, his neck sweating. He couldn’t imagine losing his best friend like this, and as the ferris wheel spun in front of him, Miles felt his world tilt desperately. Jackson was his lifeline, his anchor in a place where he would otherwise be drifting helplessly. “You’re my best friend, Jackson. What am I supposed to do without you?”

“You’ll survive. You always have,” Jackson told him. “But promise me you’ll do what I asked. I know it’s a lot, I don’t even know if I should be asking it, but promise.”

“I can’t. They’re my friends.”

“They are not! Miles, you’re not the same guy with them. You turn into such a superficial jerk no one wants to be around. Do you seriously realize how much those guys swear and drink and get high for no reason at all? No reason, Miles. None. You’re different in the summer with me. Be that guy. Be the guy who has reasons for living, for existing, for having friends. You deserve better than the people you surround yourself with, Miles. You deserve more.”

“I know.”

“Then promise.”

“I promise.”

“And ask Sean out.”

“Jackson!”

“Do it, Miles. You like him. How he’ll be able to look past your stuck-up friends, I don’t know, but you have to find out. He’ll be good for you.”

He’ll replace me, is what Jackson did not say.

But Miles heard those words, heard the way they hid deep between everything Jackson was trying to say and everything he wasn’t. Together, they had always been something between friends and brothers, depending on each other from day one. When one moved, the other followed like a reflection in a mirror.

Jackson said, “I don’t know if I’ll leave, but if I ever do, I want to know my best friend is happy. I just... things feel so out of control right now and I don’t know why. Don’t you want to be happy now, Miles?”

Carnival lights flickered around them-

closing in closer and closer.

The world was closing in.

“Please,” Jackson whispered. “Please, Miles.”

So, because he had no choice and because he wanted to keep a part of Jackson with him forever, Miles promised a promise he wasn’t sure if he could keep. Because deep down, his friends were the only friends he had ever known aside from Jackson Grant. And deep down, Miles was afraid of being alone, of being an outsider in a place where it would be so easy for him to be one. He thought of his best friend, and the boy who he was supposed to ask out.

Miles and Jackson had talked like this before; in Huntington, even in the warm summers, life had a way of consuming you, and leaving often seemed to be the best option. But they had never been this serious, this true.

One day, Jackson would leave.

One day, so would Miles.

Or.

Maybe.

Not.

And maybe this was the beginning of that end. Best friends for years, their time as teenagers was just beginning, though it felt like it was ending. After all, Jackson only lived in Huntington during the summers. Never more. Maybe this moment between the boys was the start of the way their little worlds began to grow apart.

And all at once, as the screams and shouts of joyful people enjoying the Firelight Festival filled the air around him, Miles felt his heart climb into his throat. He ran, his vision growing black around the edges, behind the ferris wheel and vomited. He did not faint, but he was close. Instead, he turned to Jackson, the only person in Huntington who knew his true self, and tried to smile. Tried to be the selfless person he wanted to be. Tried to be anything but this boy hiding from the world around him.

“I promise,” Miles said.

Later, when he was almost asleep and almost awake, Miles would wonder how he found himself there: between so many horrible people and things, in a town that didn’t want him, surrounded by friends and family who didn’t understand.

Alone.

And then-

Miles would cry.

*   *   *

EVERY MORNING, MILES WOULD look for Sean.

And every morning he would find him. At a distance, Miles would hold Sean with his gaze, imagining the life he could have if only-

if only.

But Miles could not take that first step; he was too afraid. Too trapped in Huntington. And if he could admit it to himself, he was ashamed of the person he was without Jackson Grant. And even though his best friend had left months ago without reason, without warning, Miles still wondered if he would always be this person without a friend like Jackson.

Maybe he knew, Miles thought. Maybe Jackson knew something was wrong, that he’d be gone soon. Maybe that’s what he meant.

Miles knew he should not depend on one person to change his life for him, that he should be able to do that all by himself. But this was his excuse, and he stuck to it even  after Jackson was gone. After all, you were a reflection of the people you surrounded yourself with, and all around Miles were the most beautiful, horrible people he knew. All around Miles were people that weren’t Jackson.

Sean never knew he looked.

And this little, cruel fact made all the difference in the world. For it was Miles who wanted, Miles who looked. It was Miles who wanted Sean more than anything. And in the end, it was Miles who hurt.

This morning was no different. Out past the courtyard near the place where great pine trees met the school’s iron fence, the bus stopped and, as it’s doors opened, a boy with hair like the sun and eyes like the sky stepped into the world with a shy smile on his face.

Miles couldn’t help but smile too. Even from so far away, he could feel the warmth of Sean as though the two were only inches apart.

He wondered if Sean would ever see him.

It was then Miles would close his eyes and make a wish. As the bus drove away and the first bell rang, Miles would always wish for the freedom to make his own choices, the courage to open his heart to someone like Sean.

Sean would walk by and turn left.

Miles, right.

But not today.

Today the world shifted, slightly off so both boys walked a little closer to each other. At the very moment they usually began to turn in opposite directions, they didn’t. Instead, they pulled together. They smiled. They said hello.

“I’m Miles.”

“Sean.”

Miles felt himself nearly choke on his words. “I know.”

Sean paused, and gave Miles a small, confused grin that lit up his face but darkened his eyes. “You know who I am? Why?”

“I just do,” Miles said. “I’ve seen you around school. Checked you out. I mean, I didn’t check you out. I just saw you walking. Around school.”

At that, Sean laughed and blushed. “I’ve seen you too, Miles. Everyone has. Good game last week.”

“You’re a basketball fan?”

“Not really,” Sean admitted slyly.

Miles didn’t know what to say after that. He thought Sean might be flirting with him. Maybe. After all, no one really goes to basketball games if they don’t like the sport; there’s no point.

“Then why did you come to the game?”

Sean looked around, as though he was searching for an answer in the air. “I don’t know. I knew you were playing. And I didn’t have anything to do. So I went.”

“To see me,” Miles said. It wasn’t a question, but Miles didn’t need an answer; he already knew from the smile forming on Sean’s face that he was correct. And suddenly Miles wished Sean didn’t see everything about him, didn’t see the way he acted with Jessica or hear the words said about his friends on the days following most weekends. Miles wanted something new. “I’m glad you came, Sean. I wish I knew you’d been there. I would have said hello. Would have said... something.”

“It’s okay,” Sean told Miles, his eyes filled with a delicate kind of warmth and understanding. “You said it now, that’s what matters.”

“How about I say it again tonight?”

Sean swallowed, surprised. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

*   *   *

LATER, AS THE SUN begin the slow trek to setting on the small town of Huntington, Miles wondered if he had made a mistake. If asking Sean out had been the wrong thing to do.

That moment, those words, could have been his downfall. The destruction of his friends, the life he knew so well but didn’t. Because his friends didn’t hang out with people like Sean, people who didn’t matter as much as they did.

But Miles wanted this: The start of something new.

A great and terrible accident.

Except, Miles didn’t want to be an accident, and he didn’t want Sean to be one either. He wanted more. This was love, after all - or the beginnings of something like it. This was opening the door to the possibility of love. And love hurt. It hurt when it was good, and it hurt when it was bad. Everything, Miles knew, was too much or too little or too soon or too fast.

Nothing was ever just right.

But even so, Miles wanted to see Sean again. If only once more. If only for a moment. Even if it hurt. Even if it was an accident.

Sean mattered.

Miles checked his phone and deleted a text message from Jessica without even looking at it. Briefly, his mind drifted to Jackson before landing on the boy who refused to leave his thoughts. And, with a confident resolution, he started walking toward the setting sun, toward Sean.