Between Friends (26 page)

Read Between Friends Online

Authors: D. L. Sparks

Tags: #Fiction, #Suspense, #General, #African American Police, #Urban Life, #Thrillers, #African American

BOOK: Between Friends
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Chapter Thirty-four
Idalis
Sitting outside and watching cars make their way up and down my mother's street; I fought hard the urge to scoop up my son and flee to some tiny country situated in some dark corner of the world. The sun was retreating to the west, leaving behind a cool breeze and darkening sky to keep me company. I fixed my eyes on the intermittent headlights as they poked holes in the darkness as they made their way up the narrow street. Sometimes I stared at a set so long letting my vision get so blurry in hopes that when my sight cleared up, all would be right with the world.
I supposed this was what they meant when they said Karma was a bitch, because that bitch certainly had me in her crosshairs.
India came out onto the porch and sat on the stoop next to me. We sat there for a moment, not saying anything. A Volkswagen shot by and she tapped me lightly on my shoulder with her fist.
“Punch buggy white.”
My heart warmed and a smile spread across my face as I gave her a tap in return.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
I winked. “You didn't say: no punch backs.”
She let out a laugh. “You always did cheat.”
“What's Cameron doing?”
“He's upstairs, just put him down.”
We both kept staring straight ahead.
“Idalis.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you scared about testifying against Lincoln?” She asked.
“A little. But his phone calls have fallen off a little since he's been booked in and is segregated from general population.”
“Good.”
I looked down at my watch, then back out into the street. I wasn't late for anything or expecting anyone, but I was anxious.
“Have you heard from the job in California?” I asked, rubbing my hands together.
“Yeah, I told them I couldn't take it,” she said, staring straight ahead.
I looked at her. “Why?”
“If you're getting in all this trouble while I'm here, I can only imagine the mess you'd end up in if I was across the country.”
“I'm sorry.”
She looked at me. “About what?”
“I didn't want you to go, and it was for selfish reasons. Trip had already left and I didn't want to lose you too.”
“I know,” she said, leaning back on her hands. “I just wanted to hear you admit it.”
I smiled. “I guess I really messed up, huh?”
“Yeah, you did.” She reached over and took my hand in hers. “But we'll get through it.”
“I really thought I was doing what was best.”
She squeezed my hand. “I know you did. And I let you down. When you told me you found out you were pregnant and weren't sure, I should've said something then.”
“Unfortunately, Twin, this is the one thing we can't share blame in.”
She laughed. “Can you tell that to Mama?”
I looked at her. “I figured she wasn't too happy with me that's why I been staying out of her way.”
She looked out to the street. “Yeah and she's blaming me.” She let out a short laugh.
“Of course, she is.”
“But you did get bonus points for your little hostage situation. So you should be good for a minute.”
I shook my head. “Well, at least it can't get any worse.”
“Yeah, I think it can.”
I tapped her leg. “Twin, don't say that.”
She nodded toward the street and stood up. “No, seriously, it can.”
I looked up just as Trip's truck came to a stop in front of my mother's house. I stood up and wiped my hands on the front of my jeans. My heart was pounding in my ears. I tucked my hair behind my ears and took a deep breath. I watched as Trip emerged from behind the tinted windows and closed the door. His stride appeared heavy and unsure. My mind was working overtime. I mentally ran through so many different scenarios, conversations. I tried to prepare myself for whatever he had to say to me.
He kept his eyes on me as he walked toward us. His eyes never left mine as he spoke to my twin.
“Hey, India. How are you?”
They hugged. “I'm good. How are you?”
He nodded. “I'm good. Taking Phil to the airport in the morning.”
She looked at him, then to me, and back again. “I ... I'm going to go find something to do.”
We made eye contact and she gave me a wordless bit of encouragement before she turned and disappeared inside. With the closing of the screen door, we were left alone.
“Idalis?” His tone was questioning, almost accusatory. The sound of his voice was heavy with every question mark that I'm sure he'd dug up over the past few weeks. His throwing court papers and seeking paternity results were his ineffective ways of communicating.
He was here because he had run out of things to throw.
“Trip ... ”
His eyes narrowed. “What?”
“Can I—”
He took a step toward me. “Can you what?
Explain?”
he asked. “Oh, now you wanna talk? Where was all this conversation back then?”
I looked back toward the house, then back to him. “I don't wanna argue.”
“Why didn't you ...” He tried to search for the same words that had eluded me all these years. It was just as hard for him to say as it was for me to admit. He turned like he was going to walk back to his truck; then he stopped on a dime and came back to me. He walked up and got in my face. I flinched, wanting to turn and run, but my legs felt like they were full of lead.
I said, “I wanted to tell you.”
“Tell me
what,
Idalis?” Anger flashed in his eyes.
I swallowed hard. He wanted to hear me say it, but I couldn't. I fought against tears—and they were stronger than I was—as they rolled down my face.
“Say it, Idalis,” he instigated. “Tell me how you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth.”
“Don't do that. There was more to it than just coming clean, and you know it. There was so much going on that night, we got caught up and—”
“What happened that night was more than two people getting caught up Idalis and you know it,” he said, cutting me off.
His eyes scanned the front of the house. He studied it for a moment, like he was seeing it for the first time. He turned back to me.
“Do you want to come in and get something to drink?” I asked.
The question fell out because I didn't know what else to say, and I figured hydrating him was my best option at this point.
He looked at me for a few uncomfortable seconds before he slowly nodded.
Once inside, I got him a bottle of water out of the fridge and we made our way into the living-room. I watched as he scanned the stacks of boxes that lined the hallway and the corners of the living-room. He popped the top off the bottle and walked to my mother's entertainment center.
His eyes scanned the pictures of Cameron. I watched his facial expression soften when his eyes locked on one of Cameron's baby pictures. It was that scraggly picture that they take of the newborns in the nursery. My tiny boy looked like a drowned rat, all pink, with his jet-black hair plastered to his head, but I loved it and had it blown up to fit in a frame.
“Can I see him?” he asked, keeping his back to me.
I stood up and headed toward the steps. I felt him behind me, following me as we made our way up the steps and down the hall. We stopped at Cameron's door and I placed my hand on the knob. I looked at Trip. I knew he was angry, but I didn't want him disturbing Cameron's sleep.
“He's asleep. Please let him sleep.”
He nodded in agreement as I pushed back the door.
The hall light fell across Cameron's angelic little face.
My baby was lying on his back, knocked out. Trip walked into the room and knelt down next to the bed. I watched from the door as he reached out and gently touched Cameron's little hand. He stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before looking at me. Guilt washed over me as I watched him try to cram so many missed years into this one moment. After a few more moments, he stood up and adjusted the covers over Cameron's little body.
He walked past me without saying a word and made his way downstairs. I followed in silence, not sure what to say or how to say whatever it was I was supposed to say. And for some reason right now “I'm sorry” didn't seem like enough. At this point, I didn't think anything I could say would ever be enough.
We stood in the middle of the living-room, not saying anything. The sun had officially made its trip to the other side of the world and it was dark outside.
“So Phil's leaving tomorrow?”
He didn't respond. He just stood there staring at me.
I tried again. “I never got a chance to thank you for doing what you did.”
He continued standing there, eyes burning a hole through me.
I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to steady my voice. “Trip, would you please say something to me.”
“I can't do this.”
He turned and headed for the front door.
“So you're just gonna stay true to form and leave?” I called to his back.
He stopped dead in his tracks.
When he turned around, I could see the resentment in his eyes. “Are you fucking serious?” he shot back, angrily.
“Yes, I am.”
“Idalis, I didn't ask for this. What do you expect me to do? What you did was fucked up.”
“I know! But I'm trying to make it right. All you kept saying is how much you hate Atlanta. How much you don't want to have kids. And the next thing I know, I'm pregnant. And Lincoln wasn't the best, but he was there, ready to give me what I needed and wanted.”
“And?”
“And I felt I was doing what was best for everyone. In spite of all the shit I had to put up with, I thought I was doing the right thing. Making everybody happy.”
“So what am I supposed to do, Idalis? How the hell am I supposed to step in and make up for all these missed years? How am I suddenly supposed to be somebody's
father
when I don't even know what the fuck that means?” he argued.
I dropped my head and rubbed the back of my neck. “I don't know.”
He stepped a little closer. “What did you say? Speak up, I didn't hear you?” he taunted.
“I said I don't know,” I snapped.
“That's what the fuck I thought you said.” He turned and headed for the door. “I'm gone.”
This time I didn't stop him.
I sank down on the couch and buried my face in my hands.
I didn't even hear India come in the room.
“What in the world is going on, why is he leaving?”
I looked up at her. “Nothing. Just let him go.”
“Nothing?” She stepped in front of me. “What do you mean
nothing?
That didn't sound like nothing, Twin.”
“Leave it alone, India. It's over.”
She let out a loud sigh. “So that's it?”
I shrugged my heavy shoulders. “I guess so.”
He voice was shaky. “But what about Cam? What about you? He can't just leave.”
The fact that she was about to cry made me feel even worse and forced my own tears up and out. “India, I can't make him stay. I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. I have to focus on me and my son now.”
She sat down and put her arms around me and squeezed. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's gonna be okay.”
“I don't know if I'll ever be okay again.”
She smoothed back my hair. “Why don't you get some sleep, Idalis.”
“Sleep? You really think I can sleep? I have nowhere to live, they seized my club, froze most of my assets and I just let my son's father walk out of our life. And now he'll never know that I've loved him since I was ten. Not that it matters, though, because I'm pretty sure he hates me.”
My cry turned into a soul-wrenching sob as my sister held me. I wanted to be strong, accept the choices I'd made and the consequences that came along with them but I had no idea how heavy they were. I was exhausted, both mentally and emotionally, and no amount of sleep was going to make what I'd done right.
“I could never hate you, baby girl.”

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