I can’t believe my friends are pulling
this right now. Every time I bring a prospective boyfriend
candidate around they do this. Eric insists it is a sure way of
testing whether or not the guy hanging off my arm is genuinely
interested in me. He made a point of telling me I am too nice when
it comes to men and put on blinders when red flags of asshole are
popping up all over the place. Whether or not they are trying to
protect me from future douche bags, right now, it’s
annoying.
Steven pats my leg, “Well it doesn’t
matter, because I think the stories are charming”
“
Really?” I say with a tiny
smile. Maybe Eric’s man-test does hold some truth. Steven’s
reassurance couldn’t have been more sincere.
Steven leans over and whispers in my
ear, “Don’t worry. I loved the stories. Do you want to know
something embarrassing about me?”
I nod.
“
When I was a kid, my
mother put in accordion. Believe me, it doesn’t get much worse than
that.”
I giggle and give him a coy smile. I
love how sweet he is.
“
What are your plans
tomorrow?” he asks.
“
Nothing besides roasting
in the sun with the girls.”
He tucks a loose strand of my hair
behind my ear; “Think you might be able to find some time for
me?”
I blush thankful it’s dark out, “I
think I could manage to fit you into my schedule.”
Steven laughs, enjoying my flirtatious
side, “I would like that.”
“
Drink the last shot!” Eric
shouts and shoves the bottle back in Steven’s face. Steven grabs
hold of the bottle and finishes it off making my friends roar with
enthusiasm.
“
Let’s go skinny dipping!”
Stephanie shouts out of nowhere and pulls off her dress. She is
clearly induced with one too many Tequila shots. Eric’s eyes widen
in amazement, and before I can even stop them, he and Stephanie
have completely disrobed and made it halfway into the water.
Matthew begins to unbuckle his pants and Michelle rips off her
dress. They grab onto each other’s hands and ask if we are coming.
I politely decline and tell them to be careful. Steven says he will
stay with me on shore, but thanks them for the invite. Michelle
makes a comment about how I am always the cautious one, and that’s
why they keep me around. Matthew tugs her arm when they break into
the waters to meet Stephanie and Eric.
As Steven and I hear their splashes
and laughter from the ocean, he invites me to lie down beside him
and look up at the stars. He stretches his arm across the sand, and
I snuggle up to his chest. While Steven begins to tell me about
starting his new life in Chicago, I can’t help but think how this
is exactly what getting to know someone is supposed to feel like, a
well-produced mixture of excitement, romance and subtle intrigue.
But as I gaze up into the dark everlasting sky, lying with the
perfect guy, all I can see in the back of my mind is
Ben.
Chapter 6
The next morning, I wake up from the
sunlight beaming through the patio doors. I kick off my blankets
feeling flush, and wipe away the sticky sweat dripping from my
forehead. I pry my eyes open, but the pain of the bright sun locks
them shut. I groan, wishing somehow I were still submerged in my
dream: I was sitting on the beach with the sun warming my skin and
the wind blowing through my hair. Steven appeared with a smile and
pulled me gently into his arms. But when I leaned in to kiss him,
he morphed into Ben. I pulled away from him, confused and scared. I
tried to resist him, but he pinned my hands above my head and
forced me into the cool damp sand. As soon as our naked bodies
touched I crumbled in his arms and let his lips passionately press
against mine. It was enough to both arouse and frighten me before
my mind involuntarily awoke me.
I flip and flop from side to side to
try and fall back asleep. I pull a pillow over my head, count sheep
and even take deeps breaths. I am purposely trying to put myself
back into the realm of my dream. There was something about it that
was so real, so intense, and I wanted him. Just like I want to feel
Ben inside me right now. This sudden realization not only excites,
but petrifies me, and there is no way I am going to be able to
sleep with these crazy feelings welling up inside of me.
On the other hand, I can’t
help but think what a nice evening I had with Steven. He was
poised, courteous and even offered me his suit jacket when it got a
bit cooler in the early morning hours. While everyone else was
skinny-dipping and splashing about in the Pacific, Steven and I
were having a mature discussion about our jobs, our hobbies, and
our families. I liked him and found him cultured, even though he
grew up on a small farm in Connecticut. But despite our
differences: he liked eating steak and potatoes, while I liked
eating chicken and broccoli. He liked lifting weights at the gym,
while I preferred taking a spin class. He didn’t like the last two
seasons of “Arrested Development
”
, while I found those to be the best
two seasons ever. I still thought we really hit it off.
Of course I still had Ben
in the back of my mind. How could I possibly forget him storming
away from the table like that? But last night, after some thinking
under the starry sky, I was able to put his behavior into
perspective. It was clear he was tired. We travelled five hours by
plane, ate a whack load of food and consumed an absurd amount of
alcohol. I am actually surprised all of us didn’t do the same as he
did and head back to our villas as soon as we got the chance.
Besides, it would be next to impossible to believe the way he acted
had absolutely anything to do with
us
. Therefore, it didn’t take long
for me to decide that Ben and I desperately had to get our
friendship back on track for a few reasons:
1. Losing him as a friend would be
like losing an appendage.
2. I need to enjoy this vacation
(because I rarely ever get the time to have one).
3. If Steven and I are to ever
progress, I need to smooth out this sex disaster with Ben before it
takes a turn for the worst.
I toss my pillow from my head and sit
up. I see Michelle passed out on the floor fast asleep. I stumble
across the smooth marble tiles and gently nudge her to wake up. She
chokes back the drool trickling down the side of her mouth, and
wipes it away with the back of her hand.
She sits up disoriented and squinty,
and raises her hand up over her eyes, “What am I doing on the
floor?”
“
I don’t know” I groan and
pull her up to her feet.
She moans and pushes me away, then
staggers over to the bed. She flops down beside Stephanie, whose
head is pressed into a pillow and grumbles, “Honestly Megan, you
are the worst morning person ever.” Then she tries to swat me away
with her hand.
I secretly laugh to myself and think
back to when Michelle, Stephanie, Jessica and I lived together. It
drove them crazy that I would bounce around the apartment everyday
at six in the morning. I would whip up scrambled eggs, make coffee,
read the daily newspaper, and even work out to the latest Jillian
Michaels DVD.
Michelle starts to kick me with the
back of her legs, but I refuse to let them sleep through our whole
entire vacation. I rip the pillow out from under Michelle’s head,
and playfully swat at her. She tosses her arm’s up and screams at
me to stop being so annoying. Our altercation startles Stephanie
who opens her eyes, kicks off the blankets and whips a pillow at my
face. I dodge it, and watch it smack against the wall. I laugh and
insist the longer we laze around the room, the less likely we are
to get a good lounging spot by the pool.
Michelle rolls her eyes and gives me a
dismissive wave, but Stephanie groans, trudges out of bed and says,
“I am only getting up if we head down to the buffet first. I’m
starving.”
Twenty minutes later, the three of us
are eating our breakfast. Michelle forces her elbows on the table
and presses her fists on either side of her head. Her black
oversized sunglasses hide her puffy bloodshot eyes, and her hair is
tossed in a sloppy bun. She downs two coffees and occasionally
pokes at her toast. Stephanie on the other hand is more energetic,
and pounds back a bowl of cereal and a few strips of bacon. She
chats with me about her grand plans to wear her bandeau bikini top
(so she can get a kick ass tan without the lines), and then hopes
to pass out on a lounge chair by the pool. I tell her that sounds
like a pretty good plan and glance down at my own pasty white skin.
I polish off my eggs, bacon and toast and lean back in my chair to
take an indulgent sip of my delicious coffee.
I startle when I see Steven and his
family walk into the breakfast buffet. I smile at him and he gives
me a polite wave then proceeds to pull out the chair for his
mother. Wow, that is a true gentleman. Steven has yet again earned
himself another point on his growing list of great boyfriend
qualities. I watch him smile at his mother, and laugh with his
father, which makes me do something I remember Michelle once
telling me. She said that when you first start seeing a guy, if you
can actually see yourself with him, then you should be able to
envision your life together before it actually happens. So I decide
to engage myself in this little exercise, and with minimal effort,
I can suddenly see Steven and I holding hands and walking into the
restaurant behind his parents. His mother would call me “Dear” and
I would call her “Ma”. Steven would first pull out the chair for
his mother, and then of course for me. He would gently kiss my
cheek and tuck in my chair from behind me. He would whisper in my
ear how beautiful I looked, and I would thank him. Then we would
all turn our attention to his father, who would say how lucky
Steven was to find a girl like me. His father would raise his
coffee cup and we would all raise ours to meet his, and clink them
together to toast the day.
It seemed simple enough, Steven and I
in an actual real relationship. Besides, Jessica knows me better
than anyone. If she had any doubts Steven and I wouldn’t hit it
off, she would have never introduced us. I hold still in that
thought, and wonder if Jessica knew Ben and I slept together
(without Steven in the mix), what she would think about that. Would
she tell me she always thought Ben and I would hook up one day? Or
would she freak out and tell me sleeping with Ben was the stupidest
thing I could have done? For a moment I actually consider spilling
the beans to her as soon as I get the chance, because maybe if I
did, it would make my feelings about Steven (whatever they are) a
bit clearer, especially if Jessica thought the latter.
“
Oh great.” I hear Michelle
groan, knocking me out of my fantasy. I look up to see Jessica’s
bubbly self, standing over our table with a bunch of brochures
fanned out in her hands.
“
Good News!” Jessica
shrieks, “I just booked all of us a full day trip to the Volcano.
There are zip lines, mud baths, hot springs, it’s a dream come
true.”
She passes us each a brochure and
vibrates with excitement. Michelle dramatically whacks her forehead
on the table and tosses her arms in front of her head. Stephanie’s
bottom lip protrudes and her brow furrows. She quietly pleads, and
asks Jessica if we can go tomorrow instead, but Jessica immediately
cuts her off, “No it’s already booked. It is going to be like old
times with all eight of us.”
I remain quiet, nervously thinking
about seeing Ben. When Jessica doesn’t see my enthusiasm, she
stomps her foot and shouts, “Megan, say something! Aren’t you
excited?”
“
Of course” I smile, “Who
wouldn’t want to zip line through the jungle hung over?”
****
An hour later, we are in the lobby
waiting for our shuttle. Jessica is zipping around, talking to the
hotel concierge, then whisking over to the tour guide, then back to
us to update us on the itinerary for the day. She claps her hands
together, and bounces up and down as she tells us that the bus ride
to the “best day of our lives” is going to be about two hours.
Michelle groans over the extensive travel time and flops down on a
floral printed chaise, pulling her sunhat over her face. Jessica
sits down beside me, huffs, and glances down at her watch. She
crosses her legs and nervously bounces them, resting her elbows on
her knees, “Where are the guys? The bus will be here any
minute.”
“
I am sure they are on
their way.” I assure her.
“
Michael is late for
everything
.” She
groans.
“
Well as long as he isn’t
late for the altar.” I chuckle. But Jessica shoots me a cold stare
and stands up to pace around the lobby.
A few more minutes pass before,
Michael, Eric, Matthew and Ben make their way into the lobby.
Jessica dramatically winds up and proceeds to start bickering with
Michael about his tardy entrance. I quickly look away, and pull a
Travel Costa Rica magazine off of the table beside me. I flip
through the pages and keep my eyes down, but Eric’s stagy entrance
distracts me and causes me to look up. I watch him stumble through
the lobby hunched over in a stretch for the nearest sofa. His hair
is a mess, his clothes are wrinkled, and his face is a pale yellow.
He moans when he makes contact with a sofa, and exasperatingly
whips his arm across his eyes.