Betting on Hope (32 page)
“Whew, you have been busy since you’ve been down there, Mags. And that cowboy of yours sounds like a keeper. I can’t wait to finally meet him.”
“He’s not my cowboy.” It had been two tough weeks of training since she’d tried to convince Jenna not to give Hope up for adoption. Jenna’s decision to go ahead with the adoption plan had been hard on Maggie but she was managing and planned to be there for Jenna.
“Whatever. I’ll see myself at the end of the week. Like we discussed last week when you called to drop all of your ‘secret past’ on me,” she said, emphasizing secret past. “We’re meeting y’all in Brenham for the event, then we’ll head back to the ranch for the interviews. And I’m not believing a word of this denial about Tru—I’ll be ready to hear all about what’s
not
going on when I get there,” Amanda said with a laugh. “’Bye now.”
Maggie groaned as the phone went dead. The idea of the competition wasn’t anywhere near as scary as it had been in the beginning. She wasn’t sure if it was because she had learned so much or that she’d had so much happen in the last few weeks that nothing fazed her anymore. She and Amanda would work her past into the interview, thus getting it out in the open. She’d been a little miffed about not knowing sooner, but that was just because she cared for Maggie so much.
And that was why she was so interested in what was going on between Maggie and Tru. But how was Maggie supposed to tell her friend what was going on when she didn’t know herself? Tru had been the perfect teacher. Yet he had just pulled back as he’d done before and she wasn’t sure what was going on.
All she knew was that when the competition was over she was finished here. And the idea of leaving was as hard as all the other things that had gone on.
Tru had withdrawn emotionally. As if he’d gotten too close to her after going after her dad and then telling her about his own father. And maybe because she’d been through so much in such a short time, she’d also retreated from him. She’d thought of him only as a ladies’ man for so long that it was hard to realize that this kind champion was the man she’d come here to meet.
Driving to the stable for practice, she wondered where along the way she had fallen in love with him—because she knew she had. The truth was, there were so many different moments that she couldn’t place a finger on a specific one. Maybe it was watching him with his Pops. Or his patience with her in the arena. Or helping her with Jenna. Or when he’d gone after her dad to take up for her for the first time in her life.
There were too many for Maggie to pinpoint, but she knew without a doubt that she loved him.
And she wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Other than tell him . . .
Maggie drove back to the barn the next morning with mixed emotions. Her time here was almost over. She would be leaving soon. Leaving this wonderful ranch, this wonderful town . . . and Tru.
The thought of not being near Tru any longer was the hardest thing she’d faced since arriving—and Maggie had faced some of her toughest times during this bet.
Tru hadn’t held her since the day he’d beat her father up. Not the most romantic of times, but he had held her then, and she almost wanted to thank her dad for giving her the opportunity to be in Tru’s arms again. She missed him now.
Fresh alfalfa hay and feed had an invigorating scent to her, one she would miss.
Tru was in the arena already on his horse—looking better than should have been legal this early in the morning.
“Mornin’,” he said, but he didn’t dismount. He’d been distant and it was killing her. “You ready to work? We need to make you as set for tomorrow as possible.”
“Sure,” she said, trying to act as nonchalant as he was, then mounted up and the riding began.
It went on like that for over two hours and Tru maintained his distance.
Maggie fought a feeling of letdown that it had all been strictly business.
“You’re going to do good, Maggie. There will be a lot of press here, I hope you realize. It won’t just be
Wake Up with Amanda
.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I got the alert from my agent this morning. Of course we’ve already anticipated this, but Frank, my agent, found out from his sources that more reporters than Amanda will be at the competition. And,” he paused, “I hate to tell you but some of the trashier magazines will be here too. Your dad would have had his audience if he wasn’t sitting behind bars right now.”
“I guess he would have been thrilled,” Maggie said, still hurt that her father would be the kind of man that he was. She should be upset knowing that the tabloids would be at the competition but at the moment all she could really think about was that she and Tru were acting like strangers, like they’d been in the beginning.
Only they weren’t.
It took every ounce of willpower Tru had to distance himself from Maggie. He’d fought it for the last two weeks, but it was almost impossible to keep his feelings locked up.
Especially now, seeing the hurt in her eyes.
He was acting as if she meant nothing to him, simply because if he gave an inch, he’d pull her into his arms and tell her he loved her. But that would be a mistake.
If he loved her he would do exactly what he was doing.
“Are you mad at me, Tru?”
Tru grimaced, closed his eyes briefly, and took a second to get his head on straight before meeting her questioning gaze.
Mad at her?
Not hardly.
“I’m not mad at you, Maggie. Why would you ask that?” He held his boots firmly to the spot, when all he wanted was to close the distance between them and show her exactly how not mad he was.
“Then why are you keeping your distance?”
“I’m not.”
She stalked right up to him. “You are full of bull, Mr. Monahan.” Her sweet mouth was firmly drawn into a frown.
“Now, Maggie, hold on.”
“Do not try to tell me I’m imagining this. A woman knows. I just can’t let it go on without knowing what I’ve done wrong.”
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Maggie. This between us will just never work.” There, he’d said it. He’d gotten it out there. It was going to be the easiest thing for her. Well, the easiest thing would have been if he’d kept his distance in the first place. But he hadn’t done that.
She stared at him as if she didn’t know him.
“Maggie, I’m not the man for you.”
Her forehead crinkled above startled green eyes. “What if I said you were?”
He groaned. “I’m not—”
“Tru, I love you.”
His heart felt like it would explode. She loved him. How was a man supposed to bear looking the woman he loved in the eye and not telling her the truth?
“I shouldn’t have been kissing you. I should have kept my distance. I led you on. This is my fault.”
“Why are you doing this?” Maggie stared at him as if he were a stranger.
And that was good. “Tomorrow you’re going to compete, and to be honest, you have a good chance of placing high in this amateur competition. Then we’ll give the interview. And after that I’ll be back on the road hitting it hard with competitions. I’m not the settling down kind of guy right now, Maggie. You’re looking for someone I’m not. I need my freedom on the road.”
Hurt filled her eyes. “I see.” Her words were quiet.
He nodded. “It’s best you know that now. I like you a lot. You’re a good woman, Maggie. The best. But I’ve just realized I led you on when I shouldn’t have.”
Unable to look at her any longer, he turned and strode out of the barn, got into his truck, and left. It was about the lowest thing he’d ever done. Well, selfishly loving on Maggie when he knew nothing could come of it was the worst. That was unforgivable on his part.
“Don’t be nervous, Mags.”
Maggie sat on the floor, with letters all around her and her computer open to a full mailbox. Her column had grown immensely since the bet began. There were letters about drug-addicted children, letters about spouses cheating on readers, letters from readers who were lonely and brokenhearted. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.
“I’m trying not to be.” That was the truth. Ever since her catastrophic failure of a discussion with Tru that afternoon, she’d been a mess. Numbness gripped her.
“Good,” said Amanda. “You’ve done a great job making the newspaper’s readership want to know more about the men of Wishing Springs and the town itself and not just about the bet and the competition. I called to give you the last details. After the event, I want to have lunch at the Bull Barn, but we’ll have time to talk without the cameras on the whole time. They’ll follow us around some of the time and then we’ll shoot the interview with you and Tru and then the footage of you riding.”
“Okay,” Maggie said, unenthusiastically. She was living a nightmare. Really, how much worse could it get? She’d just told a man she loved him and he’d basically told her to get lost. And now, she was supposed to show up and spend the day with him like they were best buds.
“So, see, it’s going to be a piece of cake. Now, I have to ask again what’s the real scoop on the two of you? Don’t deny it like you did before—how’s the romance going?”
Maggie hung her head and stared at her orange toes. “No romance, Amanda.”
“He kissed you, Mags, you told me that and now you’re all clammed up. That says something is going on.”
“It’s a bad connection. There is no romance.”
Not anymore, anyway.
She wasn’t sure what had gotten into her, today. She’d been able to see the conversation wasn’t going to go the way she wanted it to and yet she’d still blurted out that she loved him. How dim was that? She could have at least saved herself the humiliation and kept her mouth shut. But no. Her heart of hearts had pushed the words forward, wanting so badly for him to return her sentiments. But . . . what had he said? That he needed to be free on the road.
What was even more bizarre than him saying such a thing was the fact that she did not believe him.
Tru had lied to her. After she’d finally started trusting him completely, he’d lied.
And that was one of the things that hurt the most. Why had he lied?
Long after she and Amanda finished their conversation, she sat with her legs curled beneath her as she stared over the back of the chair at the moon and tried to figure out what had gone on.
But no answers came. Sometime near four in the morning, she roused and realized she’d dozed off sitting up, her head leaning against the chair back. Her legs were asleep and it took a long while to get them to have enough feeling in them that she could walk into the bedroom and crawl beneath the covers.
Needless to say, it was going to be a challenging day.
And Maggie deserved it. As she lay there in the bed staring up at the dark ceiling, it became very clear to her. She’d gotten a taste of a life she’d only ever dreamed of as a girl. She’d fallen in love with a man she knew she had no business falling for. She’d risked her heart when she knew better.
And now she was facing the consequences. If there was one thing her life had taught her, it was that all actions had consequences. Some good, some bad, but they were always there. And risking her heart, as fragile as it was, had been silly and foolish.
What had she expected anyway? Declarations of everlasting love?
Roses and violins?
How ridiculous. Why would she expect that?
Yes, the truth was she believed in hope . . . but everything had boundaries. And she’d completely fallen out of bounds on this one.
Tru was grateful that they were busy getting to Brenham, signing in and warming up for the cutting competition. There were so many different cameras there that they barely noticed when Amanda and her film crew arrived.
It was a circus. And he felt like the biggest clown in the show. If he was doing the right thing for Maggie, letting her go without telling her the truth, then why did it feel so wrong?
He knew it was his emotions trying to get him to cave in and be honest with Maggie. He ignored them.
The good thing about the competition was they were separated from the media to an extent.
She wasn’t her usual warm self this morning. She was distant, and who could blame her. She’d bared her heart to him and he’d turned her away.
