Better (Too Good series) (5 page)

“Want a do-over?” he asked.

“I’m too sensitive.”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“I’ll still be sensitive.”

He grinned. “You keep feeding my ego, you know.”

“How so?”

“Well, I knock you out. I make you fall down. I’m starting to get a little cocky about my skills.”

She pushed him off her. “Oh, get over yourself.”

He laughed and lay beside her on the floor. They stared at the ceiling as they talked.

“I’m scared to be on my own,” Cadence said.

“You’re not on your own,” Mark replied.

She shrugged. “Well, you know what I mean. No parents.”

“My mom sure as hell would like to be your parent,” Mark said.

Cadence chuckled. “Was that all for show, do you think?”

Mark shook his head. “In the beginning, I thought maybe. But after about five minutes I realized it was genuine. She really likes you. She thinks you’re perfect for me.”

“And why’s that?”

“I think because you make me smile. And she sees that.”

Cadence thought for a moment.

“Doesn’t have anything to do with your past?”

Mark tensed. It had everything to do with his past, but he couldn’t tell her now. Not on her graduation day. Not in the weeks ahead when she needed to get adjusted to her new life. Not when she’d be starting college soon. There was never a good time, he realized, to tell her his secret. But he knew the longer she lived with him and became connected to him in the most intimate ways, the more damaging the truth would be once she discovered it.

He was trapped.

“I think it just has to do with a mother wanting her son to be happy,” he lied.

Cadence nodded. “Is your mother really lonely?”

“Lonely for companionship, yes. I mean, she’s got her ladies at church she visits a lot, but at the end of the day, she doesn’t like going home to an empty house.”

“What are her friends like?” Cadence asked.

“I try to steer clear of them. For a while, they were all in it together to find me a date. Like I’m some socially inept dork or something.”

Cadence giggled.

“What? You think I’m a socially inept dork?”

“No!” she said, laughing. “I’m just picturing these little old church ladies hatching plans for you. It’s funny.”

“Marybeth. She’s the worst,” Mark said, grimacing.

Cadence smiled. “I’d like to meet them.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

Cadence was quiet for a moment.

“I mean, you’ll have to meet them eventually if my mother has anything to say about it.”

“I want your mom to like me!” Cadence blurted. And then she added more quietly, “I’ll do whatever I have to to make her like me.”

Mark took her hand in his and looked at her. “Hey.”

She turned her face to his.

“She likes you. Very much.”

Cadence nodded.

“I don’t want you to worry about that right now anyway. I want you to focus on work and getting ready for college.”

“Okay.”

“Actually, on second thought, I don’t even want you to focus on that right now,” Mark said. He peeled himself off the floor then helped Cadence up. “Tonight’s a celebration. And I have champagne. And there’s cake left. So what do you think?”

“I’ve never had champagne,” Cadence said.

Mark wiggled his eyebrows. “I know. And I’m gonna take full advantage of that.”

Cadence laughed. “Fine. Just don’t let me topple over again.”

“I won’t,” Mark replied. “I’m gonna have you on your back most of the time.”

He pulled her close and unzipped the front of her robe. He pushed it off her shoulders, letting it puddle around her feet in silky waves. She stood completely naked, and he took in every inch of her. Small, firm breasts. Tapered waist. Shapely hips and thighs for a girl so small
.

“I want you to stay like that while we drink our champagne,” Mark said.

“Okay.”

“And I want you on my lap,” he added.

“Sure.”

He studied her face. She looked like a woodland sprite, an
d he thought he should tell her but decided against it. She’d laugh at him and think he was a weirdo. So he dropped the “woodland.”

“You look like a sprite,” he said.

“Is that good or bad?” she asked.

“Frustrating,” he replied. And then he had a thought. “Why don’t you go run and hide and let me find you. I’ll have a present for you when I do.”

“Seriously? You want me to go run off naked and hide?”

He nodded.

“You’re the weirdest guy I know,” she laughed.

“
I know. Now get going, you little sprite.” He turned her around and popped her bottom.

“Oh my God!
” she squealed and took off down the hall.

Mark walked to the kitchen and poured their champagne. He left
the glasses on the coffee table. Then he went on the hunt.

“What’s up with you lately?” Ca
dence asked, lying sprawled on the couch.

Oliver sat at the end, every now and then trying to push his sister’s feet off his knees.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“The ‘tude. You’ve got a ‘tude going on. It’s not like you,” she replied.

Oliver shrugged. “I don’t have a ‘tude,” he mumbled.

Cadence grinned and scratched the top of her head.

“Seriously, Ollie?”

Oliver looked like his
words were itching to burst forth, but he didn’t want to bring up bad times. He thought it wouldn’t be good for his sister—her emotional state. He had no idea why he thought she was so delicate right now. She’d run away. She’d stood up to Dad. She was paying taxes.

She was growing up.

“Ollie?”

“I think God’s an asshole!” he blurted.

“OLLIE!” Cadence punched his stomach with her foot.

“Ouch! T
hat hurt, Cay!”

“What the hell?”

Oliver rubbed his stomach.

“He’d have to be for what happened to you,” he argued.

Cadence rolled her eyes. “
He
didn’t punch me in the eye. Dad did.”

“But he allowed it to happen.”

“Oh my God,” Cadence muttered.

“What?”

“That’s, like, everyone’s go-to line when shit goes wrong in their lives. ‘God didn’t have to allow this to happen to me.’ Grow the fuck up, Ollie.”

Cadence paused, thinking of Avery—that afternoon
not long ago when the girls sat at lunch discussing the classroom closet incident. Avery had told her to grow up. Just like that: “Grow the fuck up.” Now, in this moment, she ached for her friend.

“Well, it’s true. He’s supposed to be God, you know. All powerful. All knowing,” Oliver said.

Cadence drew in a patient breath.

“It’s so good you have me in your life,” she began, and Oliver smacked her shin
playfully. “If life was perfect, and evil didn’t exist, and everyone was happy all the time, what would be the point of faith?”

Oliver furrowed his brows. “I’m not following.”

“Who needs to trust in God’s mercy and love if their lives are perfect?”

Oliver sat silent for a moment.

“So he punishes us to make us trust him and love him? That’s twisted.”

“He’s not punishing us. God is goodnes
s. Okay? He can’t do wrong. That runs counter to his nature. See? So why do you think God punched me in the eye?”

Oliver shrugged. “He
let
it happen.”

“Yes.
I think he’s given humans free will, Oliver. That’s my point. Free will to go around killing and raping and robbing and lying and hitting their daughters in the eye.”

“Why?”

Cadence paused. “I think for freedom’s sake. For choice.”

“Yeah, but why?
He clearly sees how messed up this all is. Why not just torch the earth and be done with it already?”

“Well, that’s a good point.
”

Oliver smiled smugly. Cadence saw.

“But I have an answer for you,” she said.

He
grunted.

“
He loves us, and he wants us to trust in his goodness.”

“Fuck that,” Oliver replied.

“You wanna be a robot instead? You wanna be forced to love God? ‘Cause he could have made that happen, but he’s got no time for that. That’s not the kind of relationship he wants with you. That’s not a relationship anyway. That’s coercion. And you don’t have time for that kind of bullshit either.”

Oliver considered this
.

“
I’m on the fence,” he said.

“Okay. Well you go be on the fence for a while. Just don’t let the bitterness start setting in.”

Oliver shot Cadence a dirty look.

“I’m not bitter. I’m pissed.”

She stared at her brother. “I get it,” she said softly. “I do.”

“Why aren’t you pissed at God
?”

Cadence shrugged. “I was. For a while. But then I remembered he helped me escape. How can I be mad at God when he helped us move my getaway car, you know?”

Oliver thought for a moment. “Hmmm. Okay, I see that.”

A knock
sounded at the door, and Oliver jumped up.

“Shouldn’t I answer?” Cadence asked.

“No worries,” he replied, opening the door. He scowled, looking the visitor up and down like she was smelly trash he forgot to leave on the curb. “What do you want?” He stood in the doorway barring her entry.

“Get outta my way, Oliver,” Avery said.

“No. Not ‘til you tell me what you want.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to see Cadence,” she replied patiently.

“Why?”

“To talk to her about things that aren’t your business.”

Oliver grunted. “You’ve been really mean to her.”

“She deserved it.”

“No, she didn’t. Get the hell over yourself, Avery. All of this is just as much your fault as it is hers. And I’m not letting you come in here and get my sister all upset, okay? She’s fragile right now.” He drew himself up to his full height—eye-to-eye with his present enemy.

“Fragile? You’re a dork. Get outta my way.” Avery pushed against his chest, but he
wouldn’t budge.

“And you’re a cunt,” he replied.

Avery reared back, stunned.

“That’s right. Cunt. A little whiny, bitchy cunt.”

Avery grinned maliciously. “Oooo, look at big bad Oliver. He’s so big and bad calling me a cunt. What? Finally grew a backbone?”

“I’ve always had a backbone, Avery. And I was always there for my sister. Unlike you.”

Silence.

“Dad gave her a black eye! And you were concerned because your cell phone got taken away!”
he roared.

“Watch
it, you little shit,” Avery warned.

“Oh, go fuck yourself,” Oliver said.
“You’re the most selfish person I know.”

“
I’m done with you. Move so I can talk to Cadence.”

“Fuck off.”

“Move the fuck outta my way!” Avery screamed.

Oliver leane
d in, his face inches from Avery’s.

“If you upset her, I’m not responsible
for what I’ll do to you. I don’t hit girls. That’s wrong and totally lame. But you’re a different story. Because I don’t even think you are a girl. You’re not even human. You’re an alien from some dark planet that—”

“Shut up, Oliver,” Avery said, pushing him aside and walking into the apartment. She spotted Cadence on the couch. “You just sat there listening to that?”

Cadence burst out laughing. “Yep!”

“God, you’re a bitch. Wouldn’t even come to my defense?” Avery asked. “Your brother threatened me. Freaking Mike Tyson over here. You need to do something about that.”

Cadence kept laughing. She couldn’t contain it. Once she started, she let it consume her. It was infectious. Avery’s laughter came next, followed by Oliver’s.

They laughed until they cried. They laughed until their stomachs hurt. They laughed until the tension vanished.

“I can’t stand you,” Avery grumbled, looking at Oliver. She sank into the armchair. “I think you’re a little punk bitch.”

Cadence shrieked with laughter.

“And I think you’re a lazy slut,” Oliver replied. He plopped onto the couch beside his sister and gently beat her back. “Breathe, Cay.”

“I
. . . I’m t-trying!” she choked.

“God, I don’t know how you s
hared a house with him,” Avery groaned.

“I don’t know how she spent most of her senior year hanging out with you,” Oliver shot back.

“I don’t know how—”

“ENOUGH
!” Cadence cried over Avery’s voice. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t know how I can stand either one of you.”

Avery held her breath, waiting.
Cadence looked at her, then turned to Oliver.

“Yeah yeah. I already know,” he said.
He stood up and pulled his car keys from his pocket.

“Enjoying my ride?” Cadence asked.

“Immensely,” he replied.

“You’re an a
sshole, and I love you,” she said.

She made it a point to tell her brother she loved him whenever she saw him. She regretted not saying those words the night Oliver helped her escape, and she didn’t want to feel any more regret.
That’s not to say she always
felt
like expressing her love to him. He was still a moron, but she knew he loved her fiercely—would do anything for her—and that warranted the words. Each and every time.

Oliver shot Avery his
middle finger before walking out.

“Since when did your brother become so crass?
” Avery asked once the door closed.

Cadence shrugged. “He’s going through this weird phase right now. He’s mad at my parents for what happened—” She pointed to her eye. “—and frustrated that he still has to live under their roof.”

Avery nodded.

“
He’s really angry with God, too,” Cadence added. “He told me a few weeks ago that he wasn’t sure he still believed in him. I’d take anger any day over indifference.”

Avery rolled her eyes. “Existential crisis at sixteen? Give me a break. He’s a loser.”

“And I love him,” Cadence said softly.

Avery shifted in her seat.
“He’s not really a loser. He was there for you when I wasn’t.”

Silence.

“You saw my eye, Avery,” Cadence whispered. “I’m not trying to make it all about me, but you’re my best friend. You saw my eye.” She looked straight at Avery. “And you walked away.”

Avery’s eyes welled. She looked up at the ceiling in an attempt to force back the tears, but they ran down her temples anyway.

“I know.”

“I don’t know what I’ve done to you, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. Whatever your parents have done, I’m sorry.” Cadence wiped her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Avery said. “I’m just selfish. I was so pissed at you. I couldn’t see anything but my own problems. And they’re not even a big fucking deal compared to being hit by your dad! Cadence . . .”

She jumped up from the chair and
pounced on her friend, hugging Cadence so hard that she heard her bones pop. But she wouldn’t let go. She couldn’t. She had to show Cadence how much she loved her and was sorry for being absent. Even if it hurt.

Cadence cried into Avery’s shoulder, clutching her just as hard, feeling a different kind of freedom from what she had just explained to Oliver. This was good freedom—uplifting and healing. And it lit her up, set her skin on fire in all the places her body touched her friend’s.

Freedom. And forgiveness.

Cadence pulled back and grabbed tissues from the end table. She handed
one to Avery, then blew her nose.

“Will you tell me?” Cadence
asked, watching Avery rub her eyes. Avery nodded.

“Your dad called my mom the night he confronted you. She and my dad stormed into my room and demanded my cell phone. I told you this already.”

Cadence nodded. “They found Gavin’s number.”

“Yeah.” Avery hung her head. “God, this is so embarrassing!”

Cadence took her friend’s hand.

“My dad called him, and since my name and picture show up on his cell phone, he answered by saying, ‘I was just thinking about you. I
need my face between your legs.”

“Oh my God!” Cadence’s face burned bright red. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God . . .”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Avery replied. She pulled her hand from Cadence’s and swept her bangs off her face. “I was mortified. Dad was mortified. I mean, he looked at me like I was filth.” She paused for a second then whispered, “Kinda like how your brother just looked at me.”