Better Than Weird (18 page)

His father looked up. “When you're scared,
you
hide in a closet. I tried to hide in a bottle.”

Aaron didn't get it. “You're too big to hide in a bottle,” he said.

A bark of laughter exploded from his dad. “You've got that right,” he said. “You've got that so right.”

Turning to Gran, his dad said, “Mom, I know how disappointed you were, but I couldn't get anything right. I know I was a bad son, a lousy husband.” He turned to Aaron. “And I was useless as a father.”

“Oh, Liam,” Gran said, and Aaron saw that her face was wet with tears too.

“Don't feel sorry for me,” his father said. “I don't deserve that. What I did, I did to myself. You know that story I told you about meeting Sophie? What I didn't tell you is that it really
was
a story. There was no bear. I was so drunk, I ran into a sharp blade and had to be carried into the nursing station. If it wasn't for Herb and Sophie, I would have bled to death that night. As it was, I don't actually remember being stitched up.”

“No bear?” Aaron said.

“Not that day,” his father said.

Aaron was disappointed. He looked at Sophie, hoping she'd say,
Of course there was a bear
, but she stayed silent and her eyes never left his father's face.

“When I came to,” his dad said, “I realized I had hit rock bottom. It was Sophie who helped me get off the bottle. When I was finally dry, I got a job, a good job, and I asked her to marry me.” He grinned at her then. “She said
no
. Told me I had to be dry for two years before she'd even think of it. So I dried out, and we got married last March.”

“But that was good news. Why on earth didn't you tell us that?” Gran asked.

“I—,” he started. “I was happy, for the first time in years. I didn't want to spoil that by telling Sophie about the mess I'd made. I was afraid if I told her of the life I'd left behind, she wouldn't have me. And I was afraid to tell you about her, because I knew you'd want to talk to her and meet her, and then she'd know…everything.”

When he reached across the table to Sophie, she took his hands and he held them before he turned back to Aaron. “You think you're a loser? Look at me. Nothing you've done comes close.” He paused. “Anyway, now you know. I could give you the details, but they're not pretty, and I'd just as soon forget them myself. I did a lot of things wrong. Not being a good father to you was the worst.”

For what seemed a long time, nobody spoke. Aaron stood staring at his dad. So many secrets
.
He wasn't sure now he'd wanted to hear them all.

It was his father who spoke first. “Aaron,” he said. He paused, then started again. “Son, Sophie tells me there's something else I've messed up.”

Just as if lightning had flashed across the sky, Aaron knew what his father was going to say next. He wobbled. He felt as if he had been dropped in the toilet and the water was swirling. He stopped breathing, waiting to be flushed away.

It was a relief to feel hands on his shoulders. Gran's hands. She made room for him on her chair and pulled him down to sit beside her. She sat like a wall, straight and tall, for him to lean on, when his father said, “It's about your coming with us to Dawson. To tell you the truth, I've been such a lousy father for so long, the idea of taking you along never occurred to me.”

“I guess I'm a little too weird,” Aaron said in a small voice. He laughed then as if it was a joke. Something to hide behind when his father told him he didn't want him around.

“You obviously don't know much about Dawson,” his dad said. “When you get there, you'll find out real quick that we've got all kinds of personalities up there. After all, I live there. I think you'll fit right in.”

“What?” Now he wasn't sure what his dad was saying.

“Liam means that right now our house is too small, and we can't take you along when we leave,” Sophie said. “We've only got two rooms. But with the baby coming, we already have plans to add on.”

“When we're done, we'll have room for you and for Gran too,” his father went on. “You can come. Both of you. To visit. To get to know us. So we can get to know you. And after that? We'll see what happens after that. I want to be a better dad, for you and for the new baby.” He stopped.

Aaron leaned against Gran as he tried to sort through everything he'd heard. His dream of having a full-time dad here at home was gone. He sighed. Tufan would laugh. He'd say, “Didn't I tell you?”

Then Aaron remembered a word his dad had used.

“Visit?” he said. “We can visit?”

Sophie smiled and nodded.

Aaron turned to look at Gran. “D'you want to go?” he asked.

“I'd love to,” she said. “After all, there'll be a new grandchild to hold.”

“Gran and I will be delighted to come,” Aaron said, using words he'd heard or read somewhere. He wasn't sure why they made everybody laugh.

That's when Sophie came over and wrapped her arms around Aaron. “Your gran has been right all along,” she said. “You're much smarter than people give you credit for.”

Aaron grinned and tried hard not to twitch away.

TWENTY - EIGHT

On Thursday morning Mr. Collins handed the boys their costumes. Tufan grimaced when he saw them. There were two short green tunics trimmed with gold braid and one red jester's hat with tiny bells on each of the points.

“I'm not wearing a fool's hat!” Tufan said.

Mr. Collins smiled. “It's not for you,” he said. “I got that for Aaron.”

“I'm gonna be the fool?” Aaron asked.

“We're all fools sometimes,” Mr. Collins said.

“Typecasting,” Tufan mumbled.

Aaron wasn't sure what that meant. “Yeah. Typecasting,” he echoed.

Tufan made a kind of snorting noise.

The boys tried on their tunics, and Mr. Collins helped Aaron put on the hat. “Think about this,” he said as he tied it under Aaron's chin. “Fools have been making people laugh since the beginning of time, and there's nothing like laughter to make our troubles feel smaller.”

Aaron nodded. The little bells on his hat chimed.

“Do you hear that?” Mr. Collins said. “The bells are there for a reason. They're going to remind you to stand still. If you hear them, you'll know that you're moving too much and you have to stop.”

“And if you don't…,” Tufan began, his voice sounding mad.

Mr. Collins cleared his throat, and for some reason the sound stopped whatever Tufan was going to say. “Yeah,” he said more kindly. “So don't be a ding-a-ling. Stand still.”

“Ding-a-ling,” Aaron said with a chuckle. “I won't be a ding-a-ling.” And he stood so still that the bells stopped ringing.

* * *

That evening Aaron was in the change room struggling to place the hat on his head when Tufan walked in. “Give it here,” he said, snatching the hat from Aaron's hands.

“Hey! It's mine!” Aaron said, trying to grab it back.

Tufan held it out of reach. “I don't want the hat, turkey. I'm just trying to help, 'cause, you know, you can't tie it with one hand.”

Feeling a little foolish, Aaron stopped moving and let Tufan place the hat on his head. “Thanks,” he said when the strings were tied under his chin. The little bells ting-tanged.

“You're welcome,” Tufan grunted. “I figure if fools make people happy, you're gonna rock. Just don't mess this up and make a fool of me too.”

* * *

When they stepped out of the change room, Ms. Masilo had the whole choir standing in line. She was pacing back and forth on her black high heels, smiling, but sounding angry every time she had to remind someone to stop talking.

When they saw the boys, the kids began to laugh. “What are you supposed to be?” Jeremy asked.

“Messengers,” Tufan said.

“What's your message?” Karima wanted to know.

“It's in here,” Aaron said, tapping his finger against the side of his head so that all his bells rang.

“Uh-oh,” Horace said. “A message from inside Aaron's head. There's a scary thought.” His words made even Aaron laugh.

“Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” Ms. Masilo warned. Then she directed them into the gym and onto the stage.

The audience settled back as the choir filed in, but when Tufan and Aaron stepped to the front of the stage, there were whispers and chuckles. The boys waited. When the room was silent, Aaron said, “Welcome. Welcome to our
Voices of Winter
concert.”

Then Tufan set the beat, and Ms. Masilo's hands came up. When they dropped, the choir chanted:

Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone right off!
Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone right off!

There was laughter from the audience. Then Aaron began:

'Twas the night of the concert, the kids were all thrilled
To stand on the stage as the chairs quickly filled
With families who talked and moved all around,
But once the show started, there wasn't a sound.
Then, just as the choir began singing their song,
A cell phone rang out with a tune loud and long.
It bothered the audience, it pealed through the room,
Distracted the kids, made Ms. Masilo fume.

He paused, letting the choir repeat their opening lines.

Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone right off!
Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone tight off!

Aaron used the break to peer past the stage lights. He was looking for his dad and Sophie. Then he saw them. They were in the third row. He wanted to call out and wave, but when he lifted his hand, the bells on his hat began ringing. A small wave of panic washed over him. He glanced at Mr. Collins standing on the floor in front of the stage, right where he said he would be. His teacher smiled and nodded. Aaron took a breath. Beside him, Tufan was beating the drum, strong and steady. He refocused, and when Ms. Masilo gave him the sign, he began the next verse.

She tapped her baton, stopped the choir's cheery singing,
And still, from the room that cell phone kept ringing.

Then he stopped, and just like in practice, from Mr. Collins's pocket came the sound of a phone ringing. There was more laughter in the audience. When it stopped, Aaron continued.

Then she turned, and she frowned, and she coughed a
      loud cough.
“Your phone is a pain, sir,” she growled. “Turn it off!”

So ladies and gentlemen, listeners all,
Turn your little phones off and don't take that call.
Chat on your own time. And just for today,
Please hear us sing, see us dance, watch our play.

When the choir repeated the last two lines, everybody joined in to chant:

Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone right off!
Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn that noisy phone right off!

The audience laughed and clapped. The boys bowed. Mr. Collins gave them a thumbs-up sign, and Ms. Masilo smiled and smiled. Aaron looked at her. Was she smiling happy this time? He couldn't tell. But everybody else was, he was sure of that. There was a great rustling and shuffling in the audience as people checked to make sure their cell phones were off. Aaron and Tufan took their places, one on each side of the stage. When everyone was quiet again, the class began to sing.

Aaron felt great. Like something big inside him was abuzz with happiness. The buzzy part of him wanted to jump up and down for joy, but he didn't. He stood still.

So still that the bells on his hat hardly rang at all. Only his eyes moved to the third row, and with the smile still wide on his face, he saw Sophie smile back. His father didn't. He was too busy filming so Gran could see everything too.

TWENTY - NINE

At the end of February the schoolyard was still dotted with patches of ice. Some days the sun seemed brighter, but that didn't stop the north wind from whistling around the building. Aaron stood at the library window, searching for signs that the seasons were changing.

“Look,” he said to Jeremy, pointing to a robin perched on the branch of a maple tree.

“The poor thing looks frozen,” Jeremy said.

“Yeah, but it's a sign of spring, and after spring comes summer. This summer we're going to Dawson.”

Jeremy grinned. “As if I didn't know. You've only told me maybe a thousand times.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I can't wait.”

When Mrs. Evans called everybody to the carpet, the boys hurried to sit down, Aaron in his spot, Jeremy beside him. “Is it a story? Is it a new story?” Aaron asked.

“It's a poem,” Mrs. Evans said. “One I think you, in particular, will enjoy.”

“I bet you can't wait to hear it,” Tufan said. “Cantwait can't wait!” he said.