Better than Perfect (5 page)

Ashtyn is the first to speak. “I was voted captain of the
football team today,” she says. I detect a quiet, almost unrecognizable pride in her voice.

“Wow!” I nod, impressed.

“You play flag football?” Brandi asks. “That's cute. I played on the powderpuff team when I was in—”

“It's not flag football,” Ashtyn interjects. “I play varsity for Fremont. You know, the one without the flags.”

“Your sister has become a tomboy,” Gus chimes in.

“Are you a lesbian?” Brandi whispers loudly.

I try to hold in my laughter, but I'm not doing a great job.

“No, I'm not a lesbian,” Ashtyn says. “I have a boyfriend. I just . . . like to play and I'm good at it.”

“Derek used to play football,” Brandi says.

“A while ago,” I say quickly, hoping to cut Brandi off before she elaborates. Ashtyn doesn't need to know the truth, because the truth doesn't matter. Not now, anyway. I hope Brandi doesn't blab my entire history. “I was average,” I mumble.

The girl wielded a pitchfork, so I shouldn't be surprised she plays football. But I am.

Brandi waves her hands excitedly, getting our attention. “Ashtyn, I have the
best
idea. Why don't you, like, take Derek out and introduce him to your friends tonight?”

Ashtyn's eyes lock on mine. “I kinda have plans, but, umm . . .”

“You don't have to entertain me. I'm not really up for a late night after drivin' for the past week, anyway. I'm fixin' to go for a run and knock out early.” I don't need to be babysat, that's for damn sure.

“Lake Michigan isn't far,” Brandi chimes in. “You can run on the beach. It'll make you feel like you're back in Cali.”

I'd bet my left nut that Chicago beaches are nothing like the beaches in Cali.

“Or the school track,” Ashtyn pipes in too enthusiastically. “Everyone runs on the school track. The beach gets
crazy
crowded at night. You definitely
don't
want to go there.”

Uh-huh. She's definitely going to be hanging at the beach tonight.

“What's your plan?” Gus asks Brandi. “You don't expect to sit around here all day, do you?”

Time for her to break the news that she's prego.

“I'll apply for a job at Debbie's salon after Julian starts kindergarten and Derek starts his senior year at Fremont.” Brandi stabs her fork into a piece of chicken. “I figure Debbie will hire me to do nails after I get certified this summer.”

Her dad shakes his head in disapproval. “Seems to me like you should apply to the community college and take some real classes so you have options besides making minimum wage doing nails. This marriage of yours might not work out, you know.”

Gus doesn't hold back anything. While I might have had the same thought before I knew Brandi was pregnant, I wouldn't have mentioned it. I look over at Julian, who's got his attention squarely on his food. In an attempt to make sure he doesn't pay attention to more of the conversation, I balance a piece of chicken on Julian's knee and watch as Falkor eats it off him and licks him. Julian giggles.

“I'm not good at
real
school, Dad. You know that.” Brandi bows her head. Her usual optimism might be irritating, but now she looks like her spirit is broken as she mumbles, “And my marriage
is just fine, thank you very much.” Brandi doesn't spill the news about her pregnancy. Instead, she shakes her head and looks defeated.

Nice going, Gus. I motion for Julian to feed Falkor more table scraps, hoping the dog doesn't mistake his little fingers for mini hot dogs.

“You weren't good at school because you didn't apply yourself,” Gus continues. “If you'd spent half as much time studying as you did chasing boys and getting in trouble, you'd already have a college degree.”

Ashtyn slaps a hand over her eyes and shakes her head, completely embarrassed.

Brandi puts down her fork and stares at her dad. “Are we going through this again? 'Cause we can walk out that door and never come back, just like practically everyone else in your life.”

Gus stands, his chair scraping the kitchen floor so loudly Julian covers his ears. Gus storms out of the kitchen. The front door slams and his car tires squeal a minute later as he drives off.

One look at Brandi and Ashtyn is enough to make me want to escape from the room like Gus just did. Julian doesn't seem to be faring any better.

Ashtyn stares at her sister accusingly.

“What?” Brandi says innocently. “Dad started it.”

“Maybe you started it when you left seven years ago,” Ashtyn tells her. I can feel her resentment from across the table. Man, I'm in the middle of some civil war here.

“That's not fair,” Brandi says.

Ashtyn rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Brandi.”

I catch a tear running down Brandi's face. She swipes it away, then leaves the table. Julian runs after her, leaving Ashtyn and me alone.

“Y'all should audition for the new reality show where they eliminate the least dysfunctional family each week,” I tell her. “I think you guys got a decent chance of winnin' the million.”

“You're part of this dysfunctional family,” Ashtyn shoots back.

I look at her, amused. “What makes you think that?”

“Otherwise, you would have stayed in California and not followed Brandi here. You'd be with your own mom. Your
biological
one, I mean.”

“That's not really possible.” I push myself away from the table. “She's dead. What's your excuse for not living with
your
mom?”

I didn't answer. I couldn't, because I've never been able to say out loud why my mom's not living here anymore. Truth is, she left because she got sick of being a wife and mother. I don't talk about my mom with anyone, not even Landon.

I should have known better than to ask Derek about his mom. I feel awful that I brought it up. If I knew his mom wasn't alive I wouldn't have mentioned it. His answer hung in the air long after he cleared his plate and left me alone in the kitchen. I wanted to call him back and apologize, but ever since I laid eyes on him my defenses have been up and my mouth has gone into overdrive.

Julian looks at Derek as if he's some superhero. I can't mention football without my sister mentioning that Derek played. Then she wants me to entertain him. Next thing I know my dad'll probably start watching football games with him.

I wanted to kick myself for attempting to look into his eyes more than a few times tonight. It's not because I'm attracted to him. It's because they're a unique color, that's all.

When my dad told me Brandi was moving back home, I hoped maybe we could become a family again. I imagined Julian and I would immediately bond. Instead, thanks to Derek, my nephew thinks I'm his crazy aunt. It's time I change that perception.

I find Julian in my sister's room, playing with a handheld video game.

“Hey, Julian!” I say.

He doesn't stop playing. “Hi.”

“I know Derek said I was crazy, but I'm not.”

Julian looks up from his game. “I know. He told me he was joking.”

“Good.” I sit next to him. Besides his blond hair, he's the spitting image of Nick. Supposedly Nick left my sister after he found out she was pregnant. I don't think she's seen him since, which means Julian has never met his biological father.

“Can I have a hug?” I ask him.

He shrugs.

“All right. Well, when you feel like giving me one, I'll be waiting for it. Okay?”

He nods, his attention still on the game.

I sit with him for fifteen minutes, until my sister comes in and tells him to get ready for bed. My sister acts like our argument in the kitchen didn't happen, but it's still fresh in my mind.

Landon hasn't called me, even though we're supposed to hang
at the beach tonight. I walk to my room, close the door, and call my boyfriend.

“Hey,” Landon answers.

“Hey.”

“Sorry I rushed out of Dieter's meeting and didn't call. I had to get home to help my mom with some stuff,” he says.

“So you're not upset?”

“About what?”

“The captain thing. I totally expected you to get voted captain, not me.” I know he did, too. I can't help but feel twinges of guilt, like I took his spot even though I had nothing to do with it.

“Whatever. It's not a big deal.”

But it is. I guess I'm waiting for him to say I've worked hard and deserve to be captain just as much as anyone else, but he doesn't.

On top of the captain thing, my sister's homecoming and the argument I had with her are totally stressing me out. “Can we hang out alone tonight? My sister came home this morning, and I guess I'm just having a hard time with it.”

“Everyone's meeting up at the beach,” Landon says.

“I know, but I'm feeling kinda . . . I don't know.”

“Listen, you were always pissed your sister left. Now she's back. You should be happy, Ash. You got what you wanted.”

It doesn't feel how it should, though. “You're right.” I don't want to be the whiny girlfriend. Landon told me that his ex-girlfriend Lily, who goes to our rival school in Fairfield, complained all the time. He'd said nothing was ever good enough for her and
she smothered him to death. I told myself I'd never be like his ex. I'm the happy-go-lucky girlfriend, even when I don't want to be. “When will you be here?”

“I'll pick you up in fifteen,” Landon says, then hangs up.

I rush to get dressed, knowing I can't very well go out with Landon wearing a T-shirt and hoodie. I try on seven different outfits before calling Monika. I'm not good when it comes to fashion, but my best friend is an expert. I text her pictures of each outfit and she picks one: jean shorts and a short, low-cut pink shirt that reveals cleavage and a hint of skin above the shorts' waistband.

In the bathroom, as I lean over the sink to put on my lip gloss, Derek strolls in.

“Don't you knock?” I ask him.

“No need to knock if the door's open.” He leans against the shower door and focuses on me with his bright blue eyes. “Hot date?”

“Yes.”

“With your boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“He play football, too?”

“Not that it's any of your business, but yes.” I turn to face him and wish he had some blemish or imperfection, but I can't find one. Ugh, the girls at school are gonna have a field day when they take one look at him. I imagine a lot of drama and fighting over him. “Did you barge in here for a reason, or did you just want to rub it in that I have to share a bathroom with you?”

“I need to relieve myself. Do you mind?”

“Eww.”

“You act like you've never done it before.”

“I've done it. I just don't have the need to announce it.” I grab my stuff and start to walk out, but turn back and say, “Don't you
dare
leave the toilet seat up.”

“And if I do?” he asks with a smirk.

“Trust me, you don't want to find out.”

In my room, I wonder if Derek has a girlfriend and imagine what she might look like. Not that I care. I'd actually feel sorry for the girl who has to deal with a guy who's too sarcastic, too witty, and too good looking.

The doorbell rings a few minutes later. I can't wait to see Landon's expression when he sees me all dressed up.

“Be right down!” I call out, then grab my purse and rush downstairs.

Landon is waiting for me in the foyer wearing jeans and a preppy button-down shirt that covers his dark-skinned body. I give him a peck on the lips just as Derek appears wearing long shorts with REGENTS PREPARATORY ACADEMY embroidered on the leg. I'm not surprised he comes from a fancy prep school with that ego of his. He's shirtless once again, showing off solid muscles and an air of confidence that rival Landon's. I'm not immune to him even though I said I was. There's just something about Derek that draws my gaze to him, even though I hate myself for acknowledging it.

“Who're you?” Landon asks, as if Derek's an intruder who needs to be kicked out of my house immediately.

“Just a thug from Cali,” Derek says with a wink for me, then pushes open the screen door and saunters outside with a pair of running shoes in his hand.

Landon points to the door. “Who the hell was that?”

“He's Brandi's stepson.” I wave my hand in the air, dismissing the importance of the guy living in our den. “Don't pay any attention to him.”

“Stepson?” He glances at Derek through the screen. “I don't like it.”

“Me neither.” I grab Landon's hand and urge him out of the house. My boyfriend is competitive and definitely has a high testosterone level. He doesn't mind me hanging out with our teammates, but he's jealous of outsiders. Derek is definitely an outsider. “Come on, let's go celebrate the beginning of summer break. I need a distraction.”

Outside, Derek is sitting on the stoop tying his shoes. “Y'all have fun,” he calls out as we head for Landon's car.

“We will,” Landon growls back.

From the car, I look over at Derek. Our eyes meet and I feel a jolt of adrenaline. I want to ignore him, to pretend he doesn't exist. So why do I have such a hard time keeping my eyes averted? I get a sense that there's sadness behind his eyes, something that I can relate to.

Landon's phone is in his cup holder when it rings on our way to the beach. Lily's name comes up on the screen.

“Why is your old girlfriend calling you, Landon?”

He glances at the phone but doesn't answer it. “Beats me.”

“You never told me you still talked to her.”

“We catch up every now and then. It's no big deal.”

I wonder why he'd want to catch up with his ex-girlfriend when he always complains about her. I want to ask more questions about how often he talks to Lily and what they talk about, but he drives up to the entrance to the beach and hops out of the car before I can ask him to elaborate.